Can’t be bothered reading the TV listings? Spoiled by your Tivo or DVR? Simply lashing out at decades of network control of scheduling? Well, here’s some good news for you lazy/spoiled/angry TV fans out there: NBC plans to stream its mid-season launches – The Black Donnellys, Andy Barker, P.I. and Raines - online, in advance of their broadcast.

That’s right. Can’t wait for must-see TV? You don’t have to. Actually, it remains to be seen if these shows are must-see or not, but after one episode I already like Donnellys better than Studio 60, which I bailed on six episodes in. And I’ll be immersing myself in all things Andy Richter and rehashing the experience here in this space once he replaces our beloved Tina Fey in 30 Rock’s timeslot.

Bonus episodes of “The Black Donnellys” and “Andy Barker” will be Web-only exclusives. What’s more, “Heroes” and “Friday Night Lights” will also start streaming online this spring. That brings to 12 the number of series “airing” on your computer any time of day, 13 if you count Studio 60. NBC Universal made the announcement yesterday.

“Consumers are responding enthusiastically and in great numbers to our streaming,”
Vivi Zigler, executive vice president of NBC Digital Entertainment and New Media, said in the news release’s somewhat unsettling choice of wording.

“Our research is telling us that our users are finding it convenient and easy to view our programming on NBC.com and, in most cases, are treating our site like their own DVR,” Vivi continued.

Translation: The lazy, spoiled and angry all have a home at NBC.com. See you there.

Andy Barker, P.I.

It’s a few week’s off, but here’s the official series summary on Andy Richter’s long awaited detective farce. It kicks off March 15 at 9:30 p.m., a timeslot it’ll have to surrender when 30 Rock returns April 19.

“Andy Richter (“Late Night with Conan O’Brien”) re-teams with Conan O’Brien (series co-creator and executive producer) in this comedy as he portrays Andy Barker, an earnest, hard-working CPA who has succeeded at everything—until his new accounting business fails to take off. But when he’s mistaken for Lew Staziak (Harve Presnell, “Fargo”), the retired private detective who used to occupy his storefront office, Andy embraces the twist of fate and dives into his double life. Andy’s relentlessly supportive wife Jen (Clea Lewis, “Ellen”) isn’t sold on this risky new venture, that is, until she notices a sudden boost in Andy’s self-confidence. Andy’s fellow strip mall neighbors—Simon (Tony Hale, “Arrested Development”) and Wally (Marshall Manesh, “Will & Grace”) join him in the dicey investigations. The comedy series was created by O’Brien and former “Late Night” head writer Jonathan Groff (“Ed”), who executive-produce the series with Jeff Ross and David Kissinger. “Andy Barker, P.I.” is from NBC Universal Television Studio and Conaco. The pilot was directed by Jason Ensler (“The West Wing”).”

My top four favorite items in the above paragraph, in reverse order:

4. ”(Tony Hale, ‘Arrested Development’)”

3. “Andy embraces the twist of fate and dives into his double life.”
2. “Andy Richter (‘Late Night with Conan O’Brien’)…”

1. ”…re-teams with Conan O’Brien…”

Who’s scarier, Sylar or Dwight?

The Office is a repeat tonight. Next week too. And pretty much the rest of March for that matter. This won’t tide you over, but it might get you through the day. Gotta love it when someone’s creativity and initiative are matched only by their free time.

Weird night of “American Idol” yesterday, and not just because audience member Jeff Foxworthy couldn’t … stop … grinning. All of the guys improved, but now that the voting audience has seen what the girls can do, it’s almost a moot point.

A quick aside before my latest rankings of merit (reminder: not a prediction of how America will vote for them). Other than Paula Abdul criticizing contestants for pitch—an act whose irony never gets old—her comments were surprisingly accurate and lucid for the first half of the show last night. She even had a nifty comeback against Simon that made me laugh. But by the end of the show she was babbling again. Ah well.

One more disclaimer: I have commitments the next two Wednesday nights, thus rendering my women’s rankings moot until the finals start two weeks from yesterday. So any comments I make about the girls compared to the guys during the next two weeks will strictly be based on the show I saw last week and the brief rundowns offered on Thursday wrap-up shows. Blame the fact that I don’t have DVR capabilities and that my VCR doesn’t work with my cable set-up. My apologies.

All right. Considering both this week and last week’s performances, allow me to update the guys’ standings from 1 (the best) to 10 (the worst):

1. A.J. Tabaldo: Another solid performance with energy, sophistication and nuance gives Tabaldo the top spot this week.

2. Chris Sligh: Sligh showed a softer side. I like his upbeat stuff better, but other than Tabaldo, he was probably the only one to hit nearly all of his notes. (Also, the top five girls are better.)

3. Blake Lewis: Despite his askew hat, Lewis put on a show with his performance of Jamiroquai’s “Virtual Insanity,” the most purely entertaining song of the night. Pitch issues must be addressed, however.

4. Jaret Cotter: “Let’s Get It On,” sang Cotter. Or perhaps “strained Cotter” would be more accurate. Still, I enjoyed his rendition and his spiffy comeback for Simon, who comparing it to something seen on “The Love Boat.” Quipped Cotter coolly: “That would have been a great ‘Love Boat.’” Zing!

5. Sundance Head: OK, so most R&B singers hit this one out of the park. Head didn’t exactly do that, but he finally remembered that he’s best when he’s singing upbeat, soulful numbers. ‘Bout time.

So, the past three weeks of BSG have been a little slow. Not much action, not much from the Cylons, lots of focus on characters who haven’t been the focus of many other episodes.

That’s not necessarily bad.

When the arc started with the Helo-centric episode where he’s trying to keep the peace among a group of ill people, primarily Saggitarons, I was kind of bored.

Then, last week, even though I felt somewhat the same about the episode as I had about the Helo episode, I had to give Ron Moore and David Eick credit for really tackling the non-sexy issues.

With last night, I realized that there’s plenty of action coming up, starting with next week’s Starbuck-centric “Maelstrom� episode, and rushing through the last four episodes of the season.

What I liked about these last three episodes is that they looked at the social issues that crop up when you take the survivors of a nuclear holocaust, put them on a bunch of space ships and go on the run: Eventually, all the social problems that existed back at home on a bunch of sunny worlds come back to haunt you.

We know that Saggitaron was once basically a slave planet and conditions there eventually led to the creation of the Cylons and, therefore, the mass genocide of the humans. And its inhabitants tend to be rather superstitious and old-fashioned.

We learned last night that Aeron was basically a farming planet. The 12 Colonies’ equivalent of the Midwest — the bread basket.

Caprica was like a big ’ol East Coast/West Coast kind of place, with all the sophistication — and snobbery — of an NYC, D.C. or L.A.

These social issues are very interesting and have been hinted at from almost the beginning. It’s easy to watch the show and think, “Gawd, can’t these folks just get over it already? They’re fleeing for their lives and their leaders are doing the best they can!� But it’s not as simple as that. It is so very human to be in the midst of fleeing genocide and then to complain about working conditions. And it is so very human to expect one’s leaders to respond, even in the midst of such a crisis.

President Roslin continues to impress and amaze me. A former schoolteacher-cum-education secretary, thrust into the job of president of the colonies, she has come to embody both the very best and the very worst in leaders. She can be ruthless when facing the enemy — tossing Leoben into the airlock, ordering Balter strip-searched as she stands watching — but she does truly do it in what she believes are the Colonies’ best interests. And she also shows compassion, as last night, where she recognized there were problems with how the labor was divided and that even when they’re fleeing for their lives, humans have a right to follow any path open to them and not be forced into their parents’ mold.

That’s only fair. I mean, imagine how horrible it would have been for legions of children if I’d been forced to follow my parents’ path and become a schoolteacher. Yikes! Children somewhere are cringing just at the thought that they might have had to have me as a teacher.

I also thought it was unfortunately realistic that people got sucked into buying what Baltar was saying in his book. Even the people who recognized that he’s a selfish brute who cares only for himself.

So, I’m still trying to decide how I feel about last night’s episode. I’ve gone back and forth between being slightly bored and being on the edge of my seat.

I know that doesn’t make any sense, really, but that’s how it went last night. Every scene at CTU just plodded along. I so don’t care about Morris and his non-metabolization of alcohol. I so don’t care about Chloe’s conflicted feelings about the situation (though I did chuckle when she ordered the poor guy who just had to pee to leave the bathroom so she could yell at Morris some more).

Basically, there just wasn’t enough action. It was a rather slow episode, but a lot of things were set up for coming episodes. In fact, the preview for next week was more action-packed than most of last night’s episode. Didja catch the part where Jack shows the Russian consul general how he’s going to lose one finger at a time until he gives up Gredenko? Woo-hoo! Go Jack! I know that’s sick, but that is what we love about the show. Don’t deny it. You can be the biggest tree-hugging liberal and still get all jazzed when you see Jack approaching someone with improvised torture devices.

By the way, why did Bill Buchanan feel the need (also in the preview for next week) to remind Jack that CTU and the U.S. government has no jurisdiction at the Russian embassy? Doesn’t Jack know that better than anyone else, given his experience with the Chinese?

Anyhow, back to last night.

First of all, Logan just got house arrest and no one knows about his part in the plot to kill President David Palmer? Nice work if you can get it. And the house he’s arrested in is rather spacious for a complete and utter traitor. Shouldn’t they have set him up in an apartment in South Central? Or at least a small ranch outside of Valencia.

And what was with the fashion show he was setting up? They spent far too much time on him choosing his clothing and his American flag pin. C’mon! Jack cleaned himself up after two years of torture in about 50 seconds; Logan couldn’t even choose the right tie in that time.

I’d almost forgotten Jack has only been back from China for a short time, but I thought they did a nice job of reminding the viewer of that by his lack of knowledge about what happened to Logan. Plot-wise, made it easier to explain it to the viewer, too. Good work, writers.

Does Logan really want redemption? Does he just want Martha back? (C’mon, Logan. You don’t really think you can win her back from Agent Pierce, do you?) At this point, we don’t know.

Muppet Baby Palmer had his best hour yet last night, growing a pair of solid steel and getting the job done. His scene with the ambassador (from where?) was excellent. He wasn’t taking anything from anyone and was going to make sure that everyone was on board with what he wanted. Go team!

MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD, and not just plot points from last night, either.

I don’t think Muppet Baby’s dead, and Assad won’t be blamed. Well, he’ll probably be blamed in the short term, but Reed will be found out. According to this Buddytv.com article, in the midnight hour, Reed’s trying to avoid the death penalty and starts giving up info. That to me says the evil, nefarious plot doesn’t work. But really, the evil plots never completely work. We know that. They work in the short term, and bombs get exploded, but in the end, Jack Bauer always manages to save the day, if not himself.

So, the vice president will take over next week for a few episodes, then probably be thrown in prison. Or killed. Or run away. Or maybe he’ll just move in with Logan. It’d be like The Odd Couple, but with ex-presidents!

Speaking of, I’m not sure I believe Reed Pollock’s willing to kill the POTUS, but not Tom Lennox. Seems a little weird to me, at least. But Chad Lowe says Reed is a patriot, perhaps somewhat misguided, but he loves his nation. Seems a bit weak to me, but we’ll find out more of his motivations in the future.

As I’ve already linked to that Buddytv article, I just have to comment on the fact that Audrey comes back, but is probably totally screwed up from Chinese torture. This is setting Jack up for heartbreak on perhaps two fronts — he obviously still has feelings for Marilyn, his sister-in-law. But two episodes after the one referenced above, someone with the last name of “Bauer� dies. Of course, that could be Papa Bauer, Jack Bauer, Marilyn Bauer, Josh Bauer or a Bauer yet to be seen. (Mommy Bauer, anyone?)

BTW, what a lame bomb! It leaks so quickly that Assad’s able to warn the president before it goes off? Given how sneaky these guys are, I find it hard to believe that their technology is so pathetic.

And speaking of technology, how on earth did the bad Russian dudes get a hold of this top-secret drone? And avoid all the checkpoints to get it to the industrial park (another one?) where Gredenko is holed up? Didn’t a nuke just go off a few miles away?

All that said, here are the quotes of the week, surprisingly, both from CTU scenes.

Nadia, to Chloe:

He’s been tortured. He’s under a lot of stress. Maybe he ought to be pulled.

Chloe, to Nadia:

Yeah, he’s a little upset.

And then this chestnut, from Morris:

I helped terrorists arm a nuclear bomb today. I’m not going to be OK for a long time. That doesn’t mean to say I can’t do my job.

Here’s some more casting news for a few sci-fi pilots/shows, including one from HBO.

First, the rock star of the bunch, “True Blood,� on HBO from Alan Ball, creator of “Six Feet Under� and director of American Beauty. Anna Paquin, the Oscar-winner (she was 11 when she won) and portrayer of Rogue in the “X-Men� movies, has been cast as Sookie Stackhouse in the series, which is based on the Southern Vampire Mysteries by Charlaine Harris.

In the books, vampires can buy Japanese-made synthetic blood and a group then integrates into a small town in Louisiana.

• Next, we have Life on Mars. David E. Kelley’s adaptation of the BBC’s drama will be directed by Dwight Little, who’s done lots of TV, including episodes of 24, Millennium, Vanished, Day Break and The X-Files.

• Lastly, “Pushing Daisies.�

Tony winner Kristin Chenoweth and former “Boston Publicâ€? principal Chi McBride, Lee Pace and Anna Friel will star in the pilot. McBride’s character goes into business with the main character, “a man who falls in love with a deceased woman after he figures out how to bring the dead back to life.” The show’s created by Bryan Fuller, who brought us the quirky “Dead Like Meâ€? and “Wonderfallsâ€?

Well, I had a dilemma last night:

Watch the Oscars and miss “Battlestar Galactica” (which I was recording anyhow) or watch BSG and miss the Oscars.

Now, “Battlestar” is my favorite show. Hands down (“24” is a close second, but it is second).

But I’ve been watching the Oscars for as long as I can remember. I think I’ve maybe missed it once or twice, probably when I was in college and had no TV, and when I was really little my parents probably didn’t let me stay up to the end. But I’m as addicted to the Oscars as Chris Serico is to “American Idol.”

So, considering that I was recording BSG, it was an easy decision to make. Plus, we only have one TV hooked up to cable and everyone else in the house was watching the Oscars, so I wouldn’t have had a choice anyhow. I was pretty wiped out, though, and didn’t make it past 11 p.m., so I missed the big prizes, but c’est la vie.

Yay Marty! It’s about freakin’ time this man was honored with his own statuette. We just saw “The Departed” last week on DVD and it was stellar. It’s been years since I’ve been able to forget for even a moment that Jack Nicholson was in any movie, but I was able to lose myself in his character more than once.

Alec Baldwin – fantastic. Leonardo DiCaprio, who once was one of the finest young actors out there, slipped into a charactiture for a little while after Titanic and has made his way back to being one of the finest young actors out there (in my oh-so-important opinion, I suppose!). Matt Damon, Mark Wahlberg – bravo (though Damon, DiCaprio and Baldwin were robbed by not being nominated)!

The biggest disappointment in our house? “Cars” did not win best animated feature. My son, who’s almost 3, loves the movie. It was the first film he saw in an actual movie theater, so no matter what he’s seen since, it holds a special place in his heart. He loved “Happy Feet,” but “Cars” is the tops. When James Taylor sang “Our Town,” my little guy sang along, most of the lyrics memorized. When they showed Lightning McQueen and Mater on the screen, he got so excited, gasping, turning to me and exclaiming, “Lightning!”

He ran to get his plush Lightning McQueen and Mater toys to hold for the rest of the show. “Cars lost!” he said sadly when it was announced that “Happy Feet” had won. But, as a 3-year-old, I don’t think he grasped the enormity (or, perhaps, he truly grasped the smallity — is that the opposite of enormity?) of the situation and got over it rather quickly. I think it bothered his daddy and I more, as we’d joined an Oscar pool with some friends and had selected “Cars” to win the category.

As for Ellen DeGeneres, she was one of the best Oscar hosts in recent memory. My husband, who generally isn’t a fan of Ellen’s actually laughed out loud at some of her jokes and antics. That’s saying a lot.

My favorite moment was when Ellen wanted to get her picture taken with Clint Eastwood, and she’s critiquing the pictures Steven Spielberg is taking with her digital camera. Clint and Steven played along wonderfully, with Clint even feigning disappointment what she didn’t have a screenplay for him, as she’d had one for Scorcese (another pretty funny bit).

Anyhow, I suppose this is the (really) long way of saying there’s no “Battlestar” recap today, but I should have it tomorrow, along with my weekly recap of “24.”

Hasta manana!

Last night being Oscar Sunday, “Rome”:http://hbo.com was in rerun, so I thought I’d do a little forecasting, particularly as the next two episodes are among the series’ best. Indeed, the March 11 episode approaches the dramatic crackle and emotional brutality of “I, Claudius.”

Without giving anything away, I’d like to draw your attention to the women of “Rome” and ancient Rome. One of the underlying themes of the series is the psychological and social strength of the female sex. Indeed, in the opening of the March 11 episode, Octavian — among the many rulers throughout history who’ve been big on family values and faith-based initiatives — describes the “virtuous” ladies of Rome as the backbone of the republic. (This as we watch his mother, Atia, and sister, Octavia, engage in less than, ahem, virtuous behavior.)

They’ll pay a dear price for their attempts at sexual autonomy. More about that in an upcoming blog. But watching Atia and company reminds us that no matter how much influence ancient women wielded at home and in society, they were still beholden to men, physically and legally. Even a queen like Cleopatra needed Antony’s strong right arm as much as he needed her abundant fields.

When women struck back, then, they did so obliquely and sneakily, and they often struck back at other women. You’ll see this Sunday when Pullo’s wife, Eirene (Chiara Mastalli) — who’s gone from captive slave to lady of the house — gets a bit too high and mighty with the formidable house slave Gaia (Zuleikha Robinson).

On March 11, you’ll meet a woman who could’ve taught Eirene a thing or two about wielding power through a man, Octavian’s perfectly proper bride, Livia (Alice Henley).

So much has changed for women. And yet, sadly, some things remain the same.

Giving “The Departed” the best picture Oscar was the Academy’s way of saying Martin Scorsese won the best director award for this year’s movie, not to make up for past errors. Ok. I’ll buy that. I hope Marty does, too. Or that he really doesn’t care anymore.
You can make a movie critic’s case that “The Departed” isn’t his best movie—It’s Boston, not New York. It’s Irish, not Italian. It’s Nicholson, not De Niro. But hey, this New York movie guy can live with it.

And Minnie Driver just said she goes to friends’ homes to Tivo “Grey’s Anatomy” cause she doesn’t have a TV at home. There’s a person of great taste.

in your Oscar pool? Not me. I see it as a $5 contribution to a co-worker who will eventually spend a chunk of the winnings on doughnuts for the entertainment department.

I liked Helen Mirren giving a shout out to QE2 using her last name, Windsor.

Gosh, it’s midnight and Ellen is still doing shtick.

Good for her.

Not.

The Departed wins for film editing. Will it take director and best picture? Just remember, his films have won two other editing Oscars, but no director statuettes.
the awards will just roll out now, chasing the midnight deadline.
Sorry, I forgot the necrology. The year’s worth of dead folks. I always like this part.
Isn’t Jodie Foster’s gown a great color?

Doesn’t it seem a little after the fact to see all that music from Dreamgirls? One of these songs should win, but which one? and will they divide the vote? It’s just too late. Why couldn’t they have started the show with this kind of energy, awarded the best song and started things running? Hello? A little compassion, please.

or an hour. No one cares when the Oscar show ends except East Coast newspapers.
oops, JLo on the screen. GTG!

Don’t go dividing the number of major awards into the minutes before midnight to see whether the Oscars show will end on time. There are special Oscars, more musical numbers and many other diversions to fill time before the Best Picture category. The result: Watch ‘em try to cut off Marty Scorsese’s best director acceptance speech. Di Caprio and Wahlberg will dive into the orchestra pit to restore order.

Now THAT would be interesting TV.

So don’t take this the wrong way, but you know how sometimes you sit around and cast the movie of your life, or your friends cast your work? Well, some years ago, the Newsday Story would have featured Robert Downey Jr. as me. Perhaps I was more dangerous, then. Who knows. But it created a bond between RoDo and me.

Hey, Pirates won for best visual fx. Finally, a movie many of us saw.

ok, it’s 10 p.m. You’ve missed only Alan Arkin winning the Best Supporting Oscar over Eddie Murphy’s “Dreamgirls” performance. Does this signal more awards for “Little Miss Sunshine”? No. It signals that Murphy should continue looking for serious roles.
Other than that. The Departed took an adapted screenplay award. That’s a better signal for what’s ahead.

We have documentaries, editing, design and visual effects to go before anything interesting happens.

Sound mixing, indeed. Don’t they know it’s snowing outside?

This is really a prime time version of the Ellen DeGeneres show, with a greally big budget. The Hollywood Sound Effects (or should that be FX) Chorus? Works better on my laptop or on the radio, I think.
I have to watch this stuff. You don’t have to.
And finally, a sex joke in the sound editing announcement.

When do the Oscars begin? It’s 9 p.m. and Nothing has happened. Are they using this to lead into Good Morning America?

And I was hoping for “No Time for Nuts” in the animated shorts category. There goes my Oscar pool.

Remember, these awards are not for the moviegoer. You doubt that? Where are the nominations for Pirates of the Caribbean?

Art direction, followed by a nod to the scientific and technical awards FROM WEEKS AGO, then the Pilobolus dance group rolls into an Oscar Statuette, then commercials.

Perhaps the idea is to drive us out of our homes and into the multiplex tonight.

OMG. They’re starting with Art direction. I know it’s not in alphabetical order (animation would come first), but why?

And hooray for Pan’s Labyrinth. Did you see it at the Jacob Burns Center?