Haley Scarnato had legs, but her voice did not
-
- April
- 13
Just about everything in this week’s episode of “American Idol” was the opposite of what I expected.
Guest coach Jennifer Lopez gave solid vocal advice to the contestants. Melinda Doolittle and LaKisha Jones picked songs that poorly showcased their superior vocals. Chris Richardson was praised by the judges for picking a modern song and not making it abominable. It appears that Sanjaya Malakar was in the middle of the pack, not only for his vote totals, but for his vocal performance. (I mean, the producers let him close the show, an honor traditionally reserved for one of the show’s top performers.)
But recognizing the well-documented world of Vote-for-Sanjaya fever—regardless of intentions—it’s absolutely no surprise that Haley Scarnato went home.
And, with the constantly rising hemline of Haley Scarnato’s attire from the waist down, perhaps conservative voters feared a pantsless performance from her next week.
Scarnato always came off as a Miss USA pageant contestant. Every time Ryan Seacrest asked her what she thought of her performance or the judges’ remarks, I thought she would break out with “I think world peace is a goal we can accomplish. I believe the children are our future. I’d really like to work with animals. Go America!” Between the big hair, mediocre vocals and make-up applied with a paint roller this Tuesday, all that separated the San Antonio resident from competing as Miss Texas was the swimwear competition. But perhaps that’s already been covered (uncovered?) by Antonella Barba and Alaina Alexander.
OK. Onto the updated rankings:
1. Melinda Doolittle: Even with her “worst” performance, she’s still the best. But I wonder if her post-”Idol” songs will appeal to anyone under the age of 25.
2. Blake Lewis: If he can secure enough votes to win the Dreamy White Boy Primary against Chris Richardson, there’s almost no way he won’t be competing in the finale.
3. Jordin Sparks: For what she lacks in judgment for song choices and dance moves, I think she—and not LaKisha—is the rawest talent of the bunch. She’s likely to be the one, after this show is over, to have the most successful pop career of the Season 6 contestants. With the right people making decisions around her, she’s going to be a force.
4. LaKisha Jones: While watching her performance Tuesday night, I noticed she was running out of breath traipsing around the stage. Perhaps her voter support is running out of steam as well.
5. Sanjaya Malakar: Even Zach Braff has Sanjaya Fever at this point. And I think I do, too, for all the wrong reasons. I was the only one in my “Idol” pool to predict that Sanjaya would still be around this far into the competition. (I’m in sixth place out of 51, all of a sudden!) In addition, I might enjoy the aftermath of Malakar tweaking with a Goliath that’s been taking itself too seriously these last few years. Even if he wins, does anyone really think Melinda, Blake and Jordin won’t get record deals?
6. Phil Stacey: Why, America? No, really. Why? I understand why almost every contestant remains, including Richardson, who is better-looking, and Malakar, whose army from VoteForTheWorst.com and Howard Stern continues to enlist. But how do you keep making it through to the next round each week? While I doubt you’ll make it past next Wednesday, I’ve been wrong before.
7. Chris Richardson: I think the prospect of Richardson winning this competition is far scarier than anything Sanjaya could do as champ. I mean, we all realize that Sanjaya’s no threat to the music scene in the long term. There’s kitsch value in watching—dare I say enjoying—Sanjaya perform, but there’s nothing fun and ironic about having to watch Richardson butcher notes up and down the scale.
(Photo by Frank Micelotta/FOX.)
This entry was posted
on Friday, April 13th, 2007 at 1:27 pm by Chris Serico.
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