I’ll admit it. My jaw dropped when the bad guy du jour (basically, the Chinese Jack Bauer) shot Milo in the forehead, point blank.

“Is he really dead?” I asked myself. I was so unsure because I wanted it so badly.

OK. That sounds really really bad. I know. But Milo was this season’s most annoying character. That’s saying a lot, too. (Morris, anyone?)

Take last night, for example. Did he actually ask Nadia if something was going on with her and Doyle? Exactly when, Milo, would this have transpired? You only kissed Nadia a few hours ago and Doyle’s been out with tac teams 90 percent of the time since then. Talk about a jealous creep. If he weren’t dead, he’d have turned into a stalker. And he started the day pining for Chloe. Fickle man, fickle. (I’ll grant you that Nadia is an extremely attractive woman, but geez.)

I actually thought Nadia might punch him in the face (I would have paid money to see that) when he said he would be OK with her being with Doyle instead of him. She should have. I mean, THE UNITED STATES IS ON THE BRINK OF WAR WITH RUSSIA, MAN. Save your personal dramas for later. Oh, wait, too late. You’re dead.

Even more amazing than the fact that Milo’s dead is the fact that Eric Balfour, the actor who plays him, asked to leave the show. Some CBS cop show pilot co-starring Dean “Superman” Cain beckoned.

He mentions in the afore-linked-to TVGuide.com story that CTU probably owuldn’t be seen much in next season, so he didn’t see much of a future for himself on 24 anyhow. Holy!

OK, so next surprise: The bad guys were after Josh Bauer.

C’mon, didn’t you figure they were going after Chloe? It would be some sort of karmic payback for her insulting Morris that he couldn’t take a little bit of torture. And they needed some computer whiz to bypass security protocols or some other technical gobbledygook; just the sort of thing Chloe excels at.

Who knew they already had someone who could do that (Papa Bauer is a computer genius, too?!?), but he would only do it if the Chinese grabbed his grandson so he could escape with him to China? Isn’t this the same man, who mere hours ago, was ready to kill his grandson for a reason I can’t even remember anymore without looking back at previous posts? Now, suddenly, he’s grandfather of the year, wanting to rescue his son from these horrible traitors running CTU and our nation? My head hurts.

And when did he have time to grow his hair? I swear, his hair was about two inches longer than it was at the start of the day. Considerably greasier, too, but that was realistic, at least.

Anyhow, Doyle definitely suspected something was amiss when he spoke with Nadia. Something about how she said to him, “If there’s something else I can do, tell me and I’ll do it.” Or something along those lines. He’ll be preparing to siege CTU next week (and I get to host the Carnival of Bauer!!! next week, too!).

But how did Papa Bauer come by all those CTU security codes? Did he somehow get them while he was there for all of 45 minutes? And CTU, after all the problems its had in previous seasons (bombing in season 2, Sentox nerve gas in season 5), doesn’t have a fail-safe to regain control should someone do some security override? Based on last night, I say CTU needs to be taken over by Homeland Security, as Logan ordered it to be last season. They need some serious overhauls.

Speaking of overhauls, what is wrong with Nadia? Hasn’t she figured out by now that you let Jack do what needs to be done? She won’t let him out to get the computer thingamajig? She won’t let him help out in tactical (but she’ll vouch for him with the new chief from division, who’ll really pay a lot of attention to her after CTU was totally breached on her watch)? Oy vey. Loved how Jack sized up the guards and they were quite concerned for their well-being. Rightfully so.

Hadda love the poor, unnamed security guard (I don’t think security guards at CTU are eligible for life insurance; job’s too risky) who finally lets Jack out. See? He knew Jack could at least take out a few bad guys. Speaking of, how many did Jack get? I counted four or five? And had to love Jack with the automatic weapon instead of his typical handgun. He looked soooo much more menacing. And a menacing Jack is a fun Jack.

Keeping in the theme of an episode recap that isn’t so much of a recap as it is the crazed meanderings of a mind that’s watched too many episodes of “24,” let’s see a show of hands for all those folks who thought Marilyn Bauer was a little suspicious in her whole shock over the Audrey situation. Why do I think Marilyn just isn’t as innocent as she pretends to be? I think she was totally surprised that Audrey was actually alive; I just think she may have had something to do with the fact that Audrey was captured and presumed dead.

How? Like I have any clue. That’s for the show’s writers to figure out. They certainly implied it last night.

That’s about it. Oh, except for the part where Tom Lennox is on stakeout to make sure that evil Lisa does what she needs to do with her spy — I mean mole — I mean spy — I mean, whatever — boyfriend. That was this episode’s requisite “Ick” moment.

Next week: The return of Papa Bauer.

Photos courtesy of Fox television.