Who knew? Nadia must have been a field agent before she became a desk jockey, because she kicked some serious terrorist butt last night.

Plus, there was serious action in what, the first five minutes of the episode? That’s a record, for this season, at least.

So since I started with this, let’s start with this. (I know that made no sense. Work with me.)

Jack calms down Marilyn (who, thanks a lot Blogs4Bauer, looks more and more like Patsy Ramsey to me every day) who has officially become beyond annoying. Though, being a relatively new mother myself, I have to admit I’d probably freak if some Chinese terrorists kidnapped my son just hours after his grandfather held him at gunpoint just hours after his father was complicit in a huge nuclear attack just north of the city we haven’t left. But just shut up already.

So a huge number of armed terrorists start herding a group of terrified desk jockeys from CTU into “safe rooms” and Jack and Nadia basically kill and disarm them. Morris even helps out, though he sort of looked like a monkey who’s just escaped his cage and is attacking the zookeeper. Don’t ask. That’s just what it reminded me of. Maybe I’ve read or watched too much Curious George lately.

I think Doyle would have been totally hot for Nadia (like he isn’t already) if he’d seen her in full Sarah Connor mode. By the way, WHEN ARE WE GOING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENED IN DENVER? Yeah, Surnow, remember Denver? It seemed like it was going to be such a big deal in Doyle’s backstory? It’s a city in Colorado? Milo hated Doyle because of it? Oh, yeah, Milo’s dead. Hmm. Just checked, and nope, I’m still not sad about it.

Could you believe it when Nadia almost didn’t let Jack do his thing with Doyle?

You’re still under arrest, Jack.

Um, Nadia, I think saving CTU from the terrorists usually would give a person amnesty from what was a stupid arrest in the first place.

OK, so Josh now. Um, WHAT on earth is this all about? Is this actually the plot of the season? The fate of Jack’s nephew/son? Oh, come on. For a more detailed and eloquent dissection of this, check out The Jack Sack.

First, though, I do need to give one kudos to Josh, who at least tried to protect himself and got in a couple of decent kicks against Cheng. And his fancy move getting under the catwalk when Cheng’s attention was diverted? He might indeed be Jack’s son.

And for not even knowing his “Uncle Jack” at the day’s start, he sure grew attached in the five minutes or so that he spent with him. His silent screaming for Uncle Jack as Doyle’s taking him away in the helicopter would have been heartbreaking if I’d cared. Um, did I just say that? Oh, yeah, I guess I did.

Now this is the big question — what’s up with Patsy Ramsey Marilyn? There’s something fishy with her, and I can’t quite figure it out. She seemed a little too interested and surprised that Audrey was alive. More than just whatever her feelings for Jack may or may not still be. And did anyone else note a strange tone in her voice when she was asking Josh what his grandfather said? I can’t shake this feeling that Patsy Ramsey Marilyn is up to no good and knows more about the day’s events than she’s letting on.

The problem is, the season’s become even more convoluted and less interesting than any previous season, so it’s hard to really care. It’s more annoying than anything else. What Patsy Marilyn? What is your game?

As for Nadia’s travails in CTU where they’re going to try to pin everything bad that’s ever happened — even this season’s plot lines — in CTU on Nadia, um, don’t care. This happens every season, the person running CTU is always reinstated, blah, blah, blah. It’s happening a bit late in the season, but whatever.

By the way, what exactly is “Division”? I’ve never understood why they’d be “Division.”

Then there’s the final sliver of last night’s episode. The entire White House/Russia standoff, which conveniently has a two-hour window to be resolved. Funny, there’s only 2 hours left in the season. Hmmm. That’s an awfully big coincidence.

First off, it was definitely women kick butt night on 24 — Lisa just starts wailing on her boyfriend, yelling about treason, etc. Hits him with a bottle, a lamp, slaps him around. He does finally get the upper hand and tries to strangle her, almost succeeding. That makes Vice President Cy Tolliver mopier than usual. I TOTALLY don’t find this vulnerable side to Daniels the slightest bit attractive. He’s becoming yuckier by the moment.

His little heart-to-heart with Karen? Ick. And the fact that she’s all, “you loved her, you were both single, no one can blame you” — um, Karen, don’t you have a husband to fire or something else to do?

Oh, OK, you’re trying to convince Daniels not to hand Josh over to his sociopathic grandfather. Like that should have even been an issue. At least Tom agreed that Papa Bauer is a sociopath. Oh, but sure, let’s hand over this perfectly innocent teen to a complete maniac who’s basically holding the country hostage over … over what, exactly? That’s exactly the problem. WHAT? WHY IS PAPA BAUER DOING THIS? His legacy? Is that what all this is about? Sigh.

That would make this the Worst. Season. Of. 24. Ever.

Of course, a bad hour of 24 is still better than a good half-hour of, say, “According to Jim.” (I’m supposing, as I’ve never seen a good half-hour of AtJ.)

At least there was plenty of action, plenty of bad guys being killed, plenty of cool moves by Jack (did you catch it when they were in Cheng’s lair and he shot one bad guy then slid/flipped several feet to turn and cut down another baddie?) and, in the previews for next week, the triumphant return of Bill Buchanan. He’s out in the field with Jack, from what I’ve read, and that’s gotta be good. And will we see the triumphant return of Tony Almeida (just about the only thing at this point that can redeem this season)?

Stay tuned for the final two hours of this completely bizarre season. And come back Thursday for this week’s Carnival of Bauer, hosted by yours truly.