I’m technically off today, but I needed to blog at length about “The Price is Right,” a show that was almost as vital to my upbringing as my parents. I mean, there are reasons why sick days never felt so bad, and why I genuinely wanted to be a game show host until high school.

Back when game shows represented the golden era of daytime TV—the ’80s, because that’s when I was raised—we rooted against (and for) the Whammy on “Press Your Luck,” marveled at Alex Trebek’s uncanny rebus skills on “Classic Concentration,” and yelled at “Wheel of Fortune” contestants who clearly have never been to an exclusive nightclub or watched “Wide World of Sports.” It’s fair to say merchants of orange felt were the dot-com billionaires of their time, thanks to ’70s and ’80s game shows.

Those days of game shows ruling daytime TV are long gone now. Droopy soaps and talk shows that take up those time slots now make cable—and root canal—so much more appealing. But one daytime TV game show that miraculously made it through to 2007 was “The Price is Right,” thanks in large part to Bob Barker. He’s older now, but even Tiger Woods should be scared to putt against this guy in the show’s “Hole in One (or Two)” game; no one’s more clutch.

Alas, Bob’s last “TPiR” show aired this morning at 11 and reruns tonight on CBS at 8 EST. I took copious notes and delivered pointed opinions after the break.

We’re at the Bob Barker Studios for the conclusion of Bob’s 35th and final year of “The Price is Right.” We’ve got the same dependable hyperactive music and audience that viewers have come to love. Francisco, Kristin, Philip and Denise vault into Contestants’ Row after going into anaphylactic shock.

Bob Barker emerges to thunderous ovations and an audience member’s perfectly timed confetti throw. Perhaps there was an edit, but Bob almost appears to ignore the applause and launches immediately into the first pricing game. In this case, the prize is a swanky flat-screen TV, which happens to be showing old footage of Bob hosting “TPiR.” Already, I’m starting to bum out.

Denise wins and is shown the prize she’ll win if she conquers the Lucky 7 game. Two words: Cor. Vette. One of those classic “TPiR” themes comes on, whose phonetic equivalent is “BWAAAH, BWAAAH, BWAAAH, BWAH! Dun-dun, dun-dun, dun-dun, dun-dun, DAH DAH! Dun-dun, dun-dun, dun-dun, dun-dun, DAH DAH!” She wins the game by the smallest of margins and takes home a $45,675 car. Interestingly, had she just guessed the middle number of “5″ for all of the digits, she would have won easily; perhaps the producers just want to give away their prizes today to end Bob’s run on a high note. Either way, we’re off to a great start here, and David Chase is nowhere to be seen.

After the break, Julie is set up to play the one and only Plinko, which is such a fan favorite, drinking games have been made and played in its honor. The pretty blonde is given her complementary Plinko chip and wins the other four easily; again, today’s pricing games have not been difficult unless you had never gone shopping for anything in your life. Dropping a Plinko chip, however, is significantly harder. She climbs atop the Plinko board and drops her chips with only nominal success: $500, $0, $500, $0, $500. But appearing on the last-ever “TPiR” and not outright losing the game certainly must be worth the experience.

Francisco is next to join Bob on stage. I’ve never seen anyone so excited about a ski boat. He plays the Range Game, which might be the polar opposite of Plinko as far as fan appreciation goes. The only redeeming quality? The audience helping Bob explain that once the Range Game button is pressed, the show can’t start the moving piece again for “37 hours.” Still, we won’t get to see Bob show off his putting skills in “Hole in One (or Two)” today, so it’s a relative disappointment. Francisco in his hyperactive, tie-dyed glory wins the boat and we head to the first Showcase Showdown.

In between her first and second spins, Julie has the nerve to say hi to family members, but not give Bob props for his 35 years of Plinko-utstanding Achievement. Perhaps the Plinko gods knew this in advance. Still, her spins give her 85 cents. Francisco can only muster 80 cents, so he’s gone. Denise earns 85 cents on one spin, so we have a rare spin-off. Not only does Denise win that, but she claims $1,000 by landing on the wheel’s sparkly $1.00 panel. Denise is the New York Yankees of “TPiR.”

As we briskly move to the second half-hour of the game show—perhaps the only one to effectively pull off the one-hour format without losing steam—Dean makes an impression on both the audience and the audience floor when his excessive celebration sends him hurtling face-down into the aisle carpet. He’s not only fine, he’s good enough to make his way to the stage and play for another “NEW CAR!”—a Chrysler 300. Again, it appears the producers apparently just want to give their cars away, Oprah-style, because the Canadian oil rigger just has to pick which of the two listed prices is correct. This quick intro allows Bob some time to break out some classic Barker Banter, for which he almost presses the button to reveal the right price, only to ask the contestant inane questions to build the drama and comedy. It’s predictable, but Bob sells it every time. Bob finally allows Dean to hit the button himself, and he wins.

As Melva, a sweet middle-aged lady, makes her way into Contestants’ Row, we realize that Philip, who waited days on line to be in the audience for the show, still hasn’t budged from his spot since he was called to “Come on down!” at the start. As his “Bob is #1″ shirt and willingness to camp out display, Philip is clearly a die-hard, so it’s a little sad to see him bid “$1″ and lose again. Melva, however, is clearly a big fan, too, as she brings her hands to her face after placing a winning bid and taking the stage.

Melva plays the Grocery Game (In Bob’s “TPiR” finale? Really?) to try to win a camping trailer (you gotta love the shout-out to one of the show’s primary demographics). She loses by going over. And if there’s one thing you don’t want to do on “TPiR,” it’s go over. I don’t know how this “TPiR” commandment became so prominent on the show or in pop culture, but I have a feeling its origins can be traced back to the fact that sponsors don’t like it when you assume their products are too expensive for mass consumption. But we love Melva, because after she loses, she says the experience was all worth it because she got to share the stage with Bob on his last day hosting. Genuine and sweet.

Only one more contestant may join Bob on stage in “TPiR” history, and it’s … PHILIP! With his sixth and final bid from Contestants’ Row, he wins what announcer Rich Fields describes as a “lovely sofa,” two words perhaps never matched outside of a game show set or your grandmother’s house. Bob first pumps up Philip, telling him he would be thrilled to win something, before realizing Fields first has to describe the inferior prize package. Whoops. Behind the cluster of board games is yet another new vehicle, a Ford Explorer. After Bob explains that THAT is the prize Philip would be thrilled to win, the board game manufacturer likely cancels its sponsorship, but Bob’s gone after this, so who cares? Philip plays Any Number, an exciting game that depends almost as much on luck as Plinko. Unfortunately, Philip “wins” the $7.31 booby prize instead of the Explorer or the games and saunters off to the second Showcase Showdown, Bob’s last.

Philip gets off to an early lead after his two spins total 80 cents. Melva nearly falls down as she spins twice, and Dean holds her up the second time to make sure she doesn’t hurt herself. (That’s another great thing about this show; on what other game show will you see contestants so kind to their opponents? It’s like a huge family reunion, but with brighter lights, brighter colors and brighter dysfunction.) Try as she might, Melva can’t beat Philip’s score. Dean retires the Bob-era wheel in style with two of the most authoritative spins in show history; I wait for it to unhinge, roll down the stage and take out Contestants’ Row, but it doesn’t happen. No matter how hard Dean spins, he can’t take out Philip, who yet again manages to eek his way into the next round in his final opportunity. Will the comeback kid redeem himself in the final round against the seemingly unstoppable Denise?

The first prize package, which involves two trips and a Lincoln Navigator, concludes with “TPiR’s” most exciting background music, which doubled as the theme song from the “Match Game/Hollywood Squares Hour” in the early ’90s. (You think I know game shows?) Whenever you hear that music, you can expect a massive prize or the sudden desire to lift 500 pounds over your head. Denise graciously passes this prize package to Philip because she’s “already won a car,” then bids more than $84,000 on an even bigger prize package that features the episode’s 387th car, a Cadillac convertible. As Bob throws it to his final commercial break, we see Denise mouth the words, “Am I over?”

After a final round of commercial breaks featuring Wilford Brimley, hearing aids, Betty White, life insurance and the Hoveround, we learn that Denise in fact did not go over when she bid on a $90,000 prize package. Philip didn’t either, but his decent bid wasn’t the closest-to-the-actual-retail-price-without-going-over, so his Cinderella story ends as Denise walks away from the show with more than $140,235 in cash and prizes.

In the end, Bob thanks the “TPiR” viewers for their support and offers a final reminder to get pets spayed or neutered. He blows kisses to a jubilant crowd as the credits roll. With a final reminder that “TPiR” is a Mark Goodson television production, Bob’s run is done. Thanks, Bob. You are the man.

A lot of names have been bandied about about who, if anyone, should succeed Bob as host of the show, but a good friend of mine came up with the best one: Bob Saget. Not only is he named Bob, but he has the right charisma, snark and gravitas to take over the show. And who really watches “1 vs. 100,” anyway?

Some say the show should cease to be without Barker, but I object to this idea because we need “TPiR” to break up the monotony of talk shows and soap operas on network TV between 11 and noon every day. Find the right host, and we’re easily golden for another 35 years.

Leave your thoughts about Bob and his finale in the comments section!

(Associated Press file photo by Miranda Shen)