I’d watch at least an hour of this version of 24
-
- November
- 16
Depending on your point of view, Brian Dukes of the Fayetteville Observer either proves or disproves the necessity of having professional TV writers script the next nonstop season of 24.
I’ve gotta say, I laughed out loud a few times and I’d watch at least one hour of Dukes’ version of the show. Here’s a snippet:
6:19 A.M.
The Scene: Same as before. [Amy note: This is the scene for the first segment: Counter Terrorism Unit Special Agent Jack Bauer’s bedroom. The room is a disaster. Empty Dixie cups litter the floor and the bed. Empty bottles and cans are strewn about. A “Congratulations” banner hangs crookedly on one of the walls.] A cell phone is silently vibrating in Jack Bauer’s pants pocket. Bauer slowly pulls the phone out and answers it. President Palmer is on the other end. Wait, isn’t he dead? Uh, just check this on Wikipedia later.Bauer: “Herlo.”
President Palmer: “Jack, CTU tells me you’re late for work. We’ve got a crisis on our hands, and we need you now!”
Bauer: “Who ish thish?”
President Palmer: “This is no time for jokes, Bauer.”
Bauer: “Mr. Presidench? I thoughsh you were ‗
President Palmer: “Are you drunk, Bauer?”
Bauer: “Nosh.”
President Palmer: (silence)
Bauer: “Yesh.”
President Palmer: “Get yourself together, Bauer. Terrorists have set in motion an incredibly complex chain of events that will unnecessarily drag on for the next 24 hours.”
Bauer: “What? For reals?”
President Palmer: “Uh, yeah. We’re totally screwed. Again.”
Bauer: “Aww, man! Come on! I just shaved the world two daysh ago. I had a party and everything!”
President Palmer: “Your country ‗
Bauer: “No! NO WAY! Don’t pull that, ‘Your country needsh you, Jack,’ card again!”
President Palmer: “I’m sorry, Jack. I know it’s your Achilles’ heel, but we really need you.”
Bauer: ”%$#@*!”
President Palmer: “I’m sorry, that didn’t come through clearly. Just get cleaned up  and sober  and be ready to go. A chopper’s already en route. It should be there in 15.”Blackout.
Think you can do better? Try your hand at it, below.
This entry was posted
on Friday, November 16th, 2007 at 12:24 pm by Amy Vernon.
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LOL, I don’t think I could top that one!
This is a load of shit, you bitter fucks!!!!
Heh. Good stuff. With no 24 in sight, I’ll take whatever I can get!