Secret Talents of the Top Dog in My Head
-
- January
- 15
CBS has ordered up not one, not two, but three — count ‘em, 3! — new alternative/reality/unscripted shows for later this year.
Help us all.
First off is Secret Talents of the Stars. It’s described as a “biweekly celebrity talent contest.” Though there will be “judges,” it’s the viewers who will get to decide who stays and who goes each week. Their “fascinating and unique secret talents” may include “singing, dancing, magic or even acrobatics.”
Now, I may just be jaded (or obnoxious. Or both), but exactly how is a celebrity having singing, dancing, magic or “even”  gasp!  acrobatics “fascinating and unique”?
This is what I want to see: Brad Pitt doing a twirling a baton; Mary J. Blige tying a cherry stem with her mouth; Kiefer Sutherland catching the bad guys before they blow up Los Angeles (again) — oh, wait, that last one’s not likely to happen.
I mean, what “celebrities” are even going to be on this show? Stephen Baldwin, perhaps?
Then, we have Game Show in My Head, from Ashton Kutcher and Jason Goldberg, who brought us Punk’d and Beauty and the Geek.
Basically, Game Show is a twist on Candid Camera. The contestant wears an earpiece, through which he’s given instructions on “crazy, outrageous and often embarrassing tasks” they have to do in public. For each freaky thing the contestant does, he gets money. The more tasks he takes on, the more money. But if he chooses to go on and finds he just can’t go through with his new task, he loses it all
Yeah, me too.
Now, this last one confuses me a little. America’s Top Dog (merely a “working title,” so the name could change) is a one-hour series where owners and their dogs live together and “battle it out in a dog competition.”
Dogs range from “pageant dogs” to regular ol’ obedient mutts.
CBS says the competition will put “the dog’s relationship with the person who has raised and trained it to the test.”
So the owners and canines will actually live in the same house, a la The Real World? That’s what it sounds like to me.
And they’re going to put the dog’s relationship with its owner to the test? That just doesn’t sound like a good idea. Why do I feel like by the time it’s all over, it’ll be renamed When Formerly Obedient Dogs Attack Their Loving Owners who Force Them to Compete on a Stupid Reality TV Show?
















