Let the record show that I’ve considered David Cook to be the most consistent and buzzworthy performer of this “American Idol” season prior to last night’s performances of Mariah Carey songs.

But when he was shaking his head at the judges’ completely unfounded praise for his off-key, uninspired performance of “Always Be My Baby,” I couldn’t help but wonder if the joy he exuded was because he felt like he felt like he got away with robbing a bank.

Randy Jackson, I’ve respectfully disagreed with you in the past, but to choose “Always Be My Baby” as your one and only time to give a standing-O this year—rather than, say, Cook’s “Hello,” David Archuleta’s “Imagine,” Carly Smithson’s “Crazy On You” or countless other great performances—and declare it his “most brilliant performance yet” speaks volumes about how shameful those and other judges’ remarks were this week.

Jackson also said Archueta’s dull “When You Believe” was “the bomb” and Syesha Mercado’s outstanding “Vanishing” just “good … all things considered.” Were we watching the same show?

But at least Jackson had the decency to call out Jason Castro’s lackluster, pitchy performance of “I Don’t Want To Cry.” Simon Cowell’s praise of that performance to end the show was atrocious, considering everyone but Brooke White sang better last night.

It’s as if all of the judges before the show wrote their remarks about each contestant based on preconceived attitudes—fair or unfair—and read them off a TelePrompTer. Here’s what they probably wrote:

• Give Jason Castro far more credit than he deserves.


• Give Carly Smithson and Syesha Mercado less credit than they deserve, despite more natural talent than everyone except Archuleta.


• Praise David Archuleta no matter what schlocky song he sings.


• Praise David Cook no matter what he does, because he’s our only hope for an interesting finale capable of drawing ratings.


• Don’t worry about what to say to Kristy Lee Cook or Brooke White; their fans don’t really care about how they sing.

Mariah Carey makes me smile. I know she’s a little loopy and had that rough stretch after “Glitter” came out, but she’s a fantastic comeback story and seems like a nice person. Plus, it’s hard to argue against her powerhouse, five-octave range; her 160 albums sold worldwide; five Grammys; and current No. 1 hit, “Touch My Body,” which resulted in her record-breaking status as the solo artist with the most No. 1 Billboard hits of all time, passing Elvis Presley on the list in the process. Plus, she used to live in Bedford and filmed her video for “Fantasy” at Rye Playland, so I dig her local connections as well.

Carey, who still looks fantastic, seemed to err on the side of kindness and selective truth with all of the finalists, who fortunately for her doesn’t include Sanjaya Malakar this year. Still, perhaps her most telling remark was her pre-performance assessment of Kristy Lee Cook:

I really enjoyed Kristy Lee doing ‘Forever’ because … a lot of people don’t know that song ….

Loose translation: “This way, she won’t butcher one of my biggest hits.”

And no matter how you feel about Kristy Lee Cook, you have to agree with what she said about her singing for Carey:

I can’t believe I gave Mariah Carey goosebumps. That’s amazing.

You said it.

But it turns out that after a somewhat rocky start, KLC started to show some of the confidence that hasn’t been seen since her initial audition of “Amazing Grace.” And amazingly, I was the one with goosebumps at the end of her song. Go fig.

OK, onto the rankings of last night’s performances:

1. Syesha Mercado—Ignore the judges. Mercado’s performances of “Vanishing” was an exhibition of power vocals and technical merit.

2. David Archuleta—Yes, his vocal on “When You Believe” from the “Price of Egypt” movie was technically sound. But the combination of yet another predictable, G-rated performance combined with those brown leather pants was off-putting. Also, I totally zoned out halfway through the song, which you know is a bad decision from the start when both Carey and Whitney Houston still couldn’t make it as big of a hit as they’re capable of.

3. Carly Smithson—She looked sleek in a plunging purple dress that concealed her tattoo sleeve for possibly the first time. And while she looked tense again and often does a poor job with song selection, she can sing. Really, really well. So not only get off her back, judges, but also give her some props already!

4. Kristy Lee Cook—As her confidence improves, so do her momentum and previously maligned performances. Also, she looked stunning last night. I’ll pretend the latter comment isn’t influencing the former.

5. David Cook—Cook fans, I consider myself among you. But please agree with me that “Always Be My Baby” was horrendous. Just awful. That’s particularly easy to admit because there’s no way he’s heading home tonight.

6. Jason Castro—Sorry, Paula Abdul, but I will be skipping the Jason Castro Luau and will be opting for root canal instead.

7. Brooke White—Doomed on “Hero” once she decided to play piano, which was even more disastrous this time than it was on “Every Breath You Take.” She showed no emotion or intensity on the verse or chorus, and when she finally mustered some on the bridge, they threw off her pitch. The second chorus was an unmitigated Defcon 3 meltdown, when she fudged her piano chords and lost all sense of tempo and vocal control. She’s much better off playing guitar or not playing any instrument at all. You know it was bad when the highlight of your segment was Abdul’s appreciation of how the song sounded “unclugged (sic).”

(Photo by Frank Micelotta/FOX.)