Oh Toby.

The queasy feeling still hasn’t subsided nearly a day after that wandering hand came to rest on that unsuspecting knee and the nervous glances of every Dunder Mifflinite betrayed the same thought: What a skeevy little perv.

Like Butch and Sundance, or Sundance and Mozart perhaps, Flenderson is headed south of the border to escape an undeterring pursuer, his own utter humiliation.

In all those years he never learned the most important lesson Michael Scott could teach, that there is no embarrassment you can’t recover from. Whether you’re calling your mom from a dance club for advice on women or you got gum in your hair trying to retrieve a quarter, best case scenario, from beneath a car.

You can still hold your head high, even as your employee massages peanut butter into it.

“Night Out” was a turning of the tables in many ways. The gang turned on Jim and Pam. Life in the fast lane turned on Ryan. And Hank the security guy scored a little payback for a tipless Christmas.

Did I laugh a lot? I think so, but it’s hard to say. Those lingering fingers on that hapless knee remain burned on my retina like the image of Stanley, wine glass in hand, soaking in a tub. Now we know why the finale was titled “Goodbye, Toby”, if only for a day.

The cold open was a standalone, not connected to the episode’s storylines. Jim’s at post alongside the reception desk as Michael enters with his hair askew and a wad of Juicy Fruit mussing up his part. Pam’s sing-song “You do” confirms the obvious as Dwight assails the offending confection and comments on Michael’s dandruff.

What happened? Well Michael spotted something shiny, of course. Pam suggests peanut butter, but Michael doesn’t feel like it. It’s not too early for ice cream sandwiches, though. (Nice shout-out to “Health Care”.)

And then, the first potentially traumatic image of the night: Dwight massaging high calorie peanut butter, the good stuff, into Michael’s head. And taking a taste for himself.

It seems the dating life is not going well for Michael. Men crave beauty, he says, like fine art or a Cindy Crawford nude. The women he’s meeting lack a certain Crawford-ness.

Against that backdrop, Ryan is making the gang work Saturday to enter their sales into Dunder Mifflin Infinity, his pet project Web site, which went down.

Ryan’s smarmy new persona is in full effect as Jim suggests customer service is their strength. This breakroom standoff unfolds with Ryan spinning him with corporate speak that turns nasty. Jim mentioned this to the CFO at the Christmas party, huh?

“Watch your back Jim,” Ryan says, followed by a dramatic pause. “I’m just kidding.”

In the conference room, Ryan hints at DMI 2.0, set for launch TBD. What’s wrong with 1.0? Well, sexual predators infiltrated its social networking component. Nice touch.

If you’ve worked for a company in the Internet era, or have done business with one, or have heard of companies, the next part was chillingly real.

Dwight: I don’t understand why our Web site needs to have social networking.
Jim: Yeah, actually I have to agree with Dwight on that one.
Ryan: It’s all about creating a one-stop consumer experience. You’re chatting with your friends. You’re talking about the latest music. The election. All of it is happening in our virtual paper store.
Jim: And then an older gentleman asks you, boxers or briefs.
Creed: I don’t get the big fuss here.
Kelly: If I had created a Web site with this many problems I’d kill myself.
Ryan: Do you have a question Kelly?
Kelly: Yeah, I have a lot of questions. Number one, how dare you?

Thankfully, Michael slow claps to Ryan’s rescue, hugs him uncomfortably and hits him up for a set-up. He needs a girlfriend badly. Ryan won’t help, but at least he tried. He talks up the nightclubs in New York, though, before exiting with “Stay real Scranton. Peace.”

As Jim sits by uncomfortably, Michael contemplates intimacy with Meredith. It’s not the horniness, he says. It’s the loneliness. He’s so lonely he forgot Jim and Pam were dating.

It’s time to hit the clubs. Dwight can come, but Andy can’t. Too bad about the Curse of Threes. Andy’s old ball and chain has been more chain than ball lately. “I’m right here,” she chimes in. (So few lines, yet so smartly delivered. It’ll be great when we can get Kinsey back in the starting lineup.)

Michael: Everybody, I will see you tomorrow, Saturday morning, probably wearing the same clothes that I am wearing right now, if you catch my drift.
Pam: We get it.
Michael: I am going to go get laid. Good bye.
Dwight laughing: With sex!

With Michael away, Jim’s got a brilliant idea. If everyone pitches in, they can bang out the Web site work that night and take Saturday off. They went for it, too. He’s management material, that Jim. No doubt he was responding to the challenge laid down by Ryan.

In New York, Dwight and Michael have tracked Ryan to Club Prerogative. Michael sees beautiful babies everywhere. Dwight just sees white slaves. And Ryan is actually excited to see them. I found that weird. Even Michael was surprised enough to reintroduce himself and Dwight.

Back at the office, everyone is done by 9 and heading out, to the refrains of Jim’s boss-like praise. He’s quite the leader. Too bad he forgot to tell the security guard they were working late or maybe the gate wouldn’t be chained. And they can’t go inside and call anyone because Pam locked the office from the outside. They’re quite the team. Stanley wants to be in his tub with a glass of wine in an hour or he’ll kill them.

Pam (Talking Head): There is a master key and a spare key for the office. Dwight has them both. When I asked, what if you die Dwight? How will we get into the office? He said, if I’m dead you guys have been dead for weeks.

Dwight’s fascinated with Ryan’s diminutive friend, comparing him to a hobbit. While Michael orders chicken fingers, olives and cherries, Dwight wants to know if Frodo lives in a normal-sized house.

Back in Scranton, things are getting snippy between Jim and Pam. This didn’t worry me, but I’m married. I know that tone. It’s the sign of a healthy relationship. Still, Jim should stop talking when he hears it. Just to be safe.

In steps, Toby saves the day with the security guard’s home number, and Pam is loving him for it. The first signs of creepy emerge. Toby had that same tone as when she got him a latte and told him she was going to start stalking him. Man, no wonder his wife dumped him.

No one seems to know the guard’s name so Jim wings it, badly, fumbling his words, calling him the African American guy. He’s turning into Michael.

At the club, Ryan is wigging on Dwight working on a beet farm and weevils. The documentary cameraman catches his hand nervously twitching, telling the tale even without the nose rubbing and the frequent trips to the bathroom. That’s no bladder infection. That’s a cocaine habit. Once alone, Dwight inquires about Bilbo’s powers, which is silly since hobbits don’t have powers.

Turns out Creed was right. The security guard is named Hank. And he’s on his way. Oscar suggests they should tip him, which reminds everyone they didn’t tip him at Christmas, thanks to Jim. Andy and Angela are such a better couple than Jim and Pam, right? Well no, but I love Andy for asking.

At the bar, Michael is striking out, talking Back to the Future tattoos with a young cutie who has no idea what he’s talking about. This place is like a sexy pre-school, he declares. Only in sexy pre-schools, they don’t smash beer bottles on the floor on the way out to the big girls club.

The line is down the block when they get there as Dwight taps the shoulder of the woman in front of him. That’s “Tall Girl #1” played by actress Cassie Fleigel, who dished about the part to Remote Access this week. She’s here with her teammates, the Jersey State champion basketball team. Dwight marvels at their height. Ryan can’t get them inside, so Dwight saves the day.

Back in the office parking lot, Toby finds a football and offers to teach Pam to throw, sounding quite desperate. The scene seems like it has to potential to shape up like the fun they all had outside in “The Fire.” Pam knows how to throw a football, thank you very much. Andy goes out for the pass, but Meredith’s face does its best Michael Strahan impression. Now everyone really hates her and Jim.

Working the club scene, Dwight turns down a drink from the ladies. You never know what they put in it, after all. Meanwhile, Michael is impressing others with career in banking. Is a teller technically a finance position?

So he strikes out, but Dwight’s scores smooches with Tall Girl, and Michael captures the scene with his cell phone picture and shares it with the disgusted, uninterested Scranton crew. And here’s where I can offer some insights into the scene.

Fliegel said there were about 100 extras in the scene watching as she prepared for her big moment with Rainn Wilson, who she said was hilarious about the whole thing.

“He was sitting next to me,” she said. “He kind of turns to me, and he’s like, ‘OK, this is how it’s going to go: a little tongue. Mostly lips, but a little tongue.’ I’m like, it’s OK. I don’t have to use tongue at all if you don’t want me to. He’s like, no I think a little tongue. But by the end – he was so funny – he’s like, ‘Can we get another take of that?’”

A lot of fans last night were wondering if anything would come of Michael sending that photo. Fliegel expressed hope that might be her avenue back onto the show.

“It would be awesome to come back as a recurring character,” she said. “I was hoping, even Steve (Carell) was saying…how maybe Angela will see this at the office as evidence and maybe she’ll get jealous. Who knows? If nothing else it was great experience.”

In the meantime, look for Fliegel’s upcoming appearance on Hell’s Kitchen.

At this point Michael is delusional, thinking the dog-walker he was hitting on might want to meet his mom. Ryan, however, is delusional-er, thinking a nuclear holocaust could lead to global jungle warfare. Yeah, maybe.

Michael has to cut off his call to mom when girls start beating up Ryan, who is uncomfortably high and irrational.

As Michael and Dwight help Ryan outside, Sam Gamgee bails out on them and hightails it home. Tall Girl is begging Dwight to stay, or at least call her, but he won’t. My respect for Dwight is through the roof at this point. (Fliegel completely undersold her part, by the way. I thought she was great.)

With Hank not even having put his socks on yet, the crew in Scranton is still stranded. I love awkward humor, and I think this show shies away from that too much. But I even I was questioning that idea when Pam remarked that Michael had probably planned Scrambled Egg Saturday for the group. Toby says it’s more like Get Your Boss Laid Saturday. They all laugh. Good times.

And then the hand. On the knee. And that little caress. And a piece of my soul died.

Everybody saw it. Toby, who surrendered the idea of early retirement to Costa Rica last season speedily resurrects the notion. As he hopped that fence in his trenchcoat, everyone’s face spoke to what every viewer was feeling. In summary: Yikes!

Luckily, the cleaning crew comes to the rescue, and Jim naturally figures he’ll need Oscar’s help. Yeah, he’s practically become Michael already.

Oscar: Why are you assuming they only speak Spanish?
Jim: I just, if they speak Spanish.
Oscar: Good evening. We locked ourselves in.
Cleaning Lady: Blank Stare
Oscar: Spanish Words… They happen to speak Spanish.
Jim: Lucky us.

At Ryan’s apartment, Dwight lullabies Ryan in German and Michael offers to undress him.

Ryan: No! Guys, I think my friend Troy might have a drug problem. What do I do?
Dwight: I think his species might have a higher tolerance than ours.
Michael: Shh, just. Here’s what you do. You tell him that you’re his friend and that you’re going to help him and that everything’s going to be alright. And then you put a wire on him and you find out who’s selling him drugs. And then you get that guy and you flip him. You turn him into a snitch. You follow that guy to the people who are really, really bad. I’ve been watching The Wire recently. I don’t understand a word of it.

This is Michael’s best night ever. He’s got his boys. Boys on the side. Let’s hear it for the boys.

And just before the credits roll, Hank shows up.

BONUS VIDEOS

Complete episode 

First Deleted Scene

Baby advice for Angela Kinsey