Poor Pam, poor Jim.

Ah hell, they’ll get over it.

Sorry, I don’t mean to be callous. But even as the final five minutes or so of “Goodbye, Toby”, last night’s season finale of The Office, left me with mixed emotions about what was a stellar episode, I’m still not worried about Jim and Pam.

They’re as good as engaged, even if Andy did steal Jim’s thunder—and his fireworks, Ferris Wheel and mood music. And as heartbroken as Pam looked, she was anything but. Disappointed, sure. Jim, too. But he’s been carrying that ring around for nine months. He’ll find his moment again, and they’ll get started on that family Pam mentioned.

That’s right, Pam talked about her and Jim having a family. Stick that in your Casino Night and smoke it.

Michael, on the other hand, is the heartbreaking one. True love stares him in the face, in the form of the lovely, captivating and surprisingly playful Holly Flax (Oscar nominee Amy Ryan’s wonderfully named HR rep). But he can’t turn his back on his dreams of fatherhood, even if the real father of his love child is an unnamed donor whose, umm, specimen meant more to Jan Levenson than Michael’s own.

Yesterday I predicted Jan would be pregnant and Kevin would steal the show, and I’m claiming bragging rights on both counts. I was wrong about Toby staying and about Jim and Pam getting engaged. But I did say Ryan would be demoted or deported, and I’m thinking his arrest for corporate fraud makes me at least half-right.

Fine, this was no “Casino Night”. It might not even surpass “The Job”. But it was an amazing capstone to an uneven season, the second half of which saw a return to form by my Office. It was a clinic of awkward pauses, documentarily appropriate settings, believable twists and heartbreaking turns that concluded with neither a tidal wave of angst nor a sickly sweet porridge of fairy tale endings or sitcom-efficient tidiness.

I don’t feel great about everything that happened, but I won’t confuse my feelings about the characters I’m so invested in with the direction of the show I’m passionate about. I’m worried about the former, but I enter the summer hiatus feeling better than ever about the latter.

So step back from the ledges, Jammmers, while I try and sort out Toby’s last day.

The cold open was the scene NBC oddly relseased a week ago that I’m glad I didn’t watch. Jim programmed Dwight’s cell phone to go directly to his Bluetooth earpiece. It’s a classic prank, especially when Pam gets in on it.

Jim: Hello.
Pam: Hey is this Dwight?
Jim: Yes it is.
Pam: Oh my goodness, you sound sexy.
Jim: Oh thank you. I’ve been working out.
Dwight: waving at Pam from just 10 feet away Woah, Pam. You are not talking to Dwight right now. You are talking to Jim.
Pam: into the phone Dwight?
Dwight: No! Pam, I’m over here.
Pam: I’m confused.

Dwight reaching around Jim’s face for the earpiece was a funny visual. Nothing Dwight tries to foil the prank works, since Jim forwarded his desk phone too. Jim’s line that giving back the earpiece would be unsanitary is topped only by him apparently telling Dwight’s Mutta and Fahta that he has married.

Was that foreshadowing? Anyway, we open with a voice-over by Michael explaining it’s Toby’s last day, and he has so much energy he’s dancing a jig. Only hours remain until the horribleness leaves. Michael even sets his watch alarm to count it down.

Kelly is broken up about her annex-mates’ departure. Toby’s fine, but she feels weird.

The Party Planning Committee has convened to plan Toby’s send-off. Angela informs Michael they have a buttercream cake and a Toby slideshow, with two nearly identical photos. Michael wants more. He needs more. Pam seems impressed by his enthusiasm, until he explains how they do it in New Orleans.

Pam: Do you mean leaves as in dies? You want us to throw Toby a New Orleans funeral?
Michael: If the devil were to explode and evil were gone forever what sort of party would you have?
Angela: Michael…
Michael: Like a beach blowout or a toga. Toga!
Angela: No. You always do this. We have a nice, modest party planned and then you come in and demand the world. Let me be clear. There is simply no money for anything other than a cake and to develop a few more slides, although Toby will not be in them.
Michael: I thought that you might say that.

Michael TH: Every year my sweet, sweet grandmother sends me a check on my birthday for $50. And lately she has been sending me like nine or 10 checks a year as Nana starts to… But I knew I should be saving it for something. I just didn’t know what I should be saving it for. And then I had an awakening. Michael, buy a motorcycle. So I put the money in my shoe, and then I forgot about it until now.

Michael wants an anti-gravity machine like he saw in a movie, and he’s got the foot-money to pay for it. Pam’s cool with that, but Angela quits in protest. So it becomes Phyllis’s job.

Cut to Holly Flax, Toby’s replacement, walking in and being shown around by Toby. He’s got a day to train her and give her the grand tour.

Meanwhile, Pam gets big news and finds Jim in the break room to tell him she was accepted into the Pratt School of Design. Jim’s typically supportive. Why’d she doubt her awesomeness? When she said she didn’t read all the details I feared that would prove to be a wrinkle, but it didn’t pan out. She will have to spend three months in New York, which I speculated after “Job Fair”. It sucks, she says, but it’ll be great.

Pam TH: I wouldn’t go if things weren’t so solid with Jim. And down the road if we have a family I couldn’t go then either. So the timing’s perfect. And that is the first time I’ve ever used the word perfect in here.

I’d say the occasion was quite fitting.

Michael assumes Holly is going to be the new Toby. Dwight, the sycophant he is, hates her already, on Michael’s behalf, for stinking and for her ways and her head.

Michael actually picks up on Dwight’s yes-man qualities and demands an original thought, something he was unable to do with Andy a year ago. Still, he agrees she has a weird head. They need to sell her an elevator pass, he suggests. It’s hazing time.

Phyllis, meanwhile, is on the phone looking for anti-gravity machines. She’ll settle for antidepressants.

Toby introduces Holly, and Michael is awful to her. He calls her a female Toby and tells her his job is to make the office fun while hers is to make it lame. They have an eternal struggle and—spoiler alert—Michael’s going to win. Ouch. Talk about starting off on the wrong foot.

But Holly throws him for a loop, remarking that someone doesn’t like HR and asking Toby what he did to Michael to make him like that. Toby says nothing, but Michael says he tortured him with his awfulness.

Holly: Yeah, I know what you mean. I nearly fell asleep when he gave me a tour of the files.

Yowza. Michael always thought HR was a breeding ground for monsters. But he forgot not all monsters are bad, like ET. Is she their ET? Or just an awesome woman from earth? Who can say? These things are nebulose.

When Creed meets Holly, she can’t wait to sit down and find out what he does. What does he do? That’s a good way to make Creed panic. What business is it of hers anyway? He really should have written it down. Quabity Assuance? So close.

Dwight is taking his hazing orders seriously. He convinces Holly that Kevin is slow. That’s not a tough sell. Hazing is a way to let a new employee know she is not welcome or liked, Dwight explains. Kevin does the numbers here. And he shares his m&m’s. They’re very safe at his desk. I’d trade a thousand Toby’s for one Kevin. He just makes this show for me sometimes.

Michael saunters along and tries out his unique brand humor—the not so funny kind—on Holly. If they hung her from the ceiling they’d have to kiss under her. Is she real or a Holly-gram? Oof. He’s going to make her a mix CD for her commute. I thought that was very sweet, in a fifth grade kind of way.

Speaking of sweet, Pam gave Toby a group photo but she’s not in it because she took it. That’s about what you’d expect. A picture of the two of them would be nice, though. If only they had a camera. “Does anyone have a camera here?!?!” he asks, much like the maniac he truly is. No one does, but he’ll get one.

Immediately, apparently.

Meanwhile, Jim’s calling in a big sale to Ryan, and he’s pretty pumped about it.

Ryan: Congratulations.
Jim: Thanks—
Ryan: Don’t interrupt. Congratulations on doing your job. Did you enter your sale on the Web site?
Jim: Nope, I didn’t. I just logged it in—
Ryan: Try to be a team player here, Jim. Log it in the Web site.
Jim: Well it already went through.
Ryan: Don’t worry about that. Just log it.

There’s a perfect word for Ryan right there. I’m pretty sure I shouldn’t use it here.

Michael’s downloading n3p music (Jim: That’s not it.) for a CD mixtape (Jim: Close.) for Holly. He needs perfect songs that work on two levels: welcome to Scranton and I love you. What’s that big group from Scranton? U2? Yup.

Jim tries to set him straight. He’s always a good friend like that when he has to be. They just met, he tells Michael. But he loved her from the time he first saw her, or saw with his ears. It doesn’t work like that, Jim says. Jim is a romantic, and he knows office romances, as he reminds Michael yet again he and Pam are still dating. How does Michael forget that? It’s great that he does. Jim and Pam took it slow and they’re happy, Jim tells him, but Michael feels a lot like he’s in love.

Jim: That’s really sweet, and you can think that, but you don’t say that out loud and you definitely don’t say it to her.
Michael: I don’t want her to get away.
Jim: I know. Here, Michael, you can court her as you get to know her. I mean the office is a great place for that. Pam and I? We got to know each other right out there. The first time we joked around was at my desk. And the first meal we ever had was in the break room, actually. And we were at two separate tables, I remember that. The first time we kissed, even, was right outside (Michael’s office). And look, all I’m saying is that you can get to know someone really well, like I did, right at work.

You can see the wheels turning inside his head as he speaks. I was actually worried that he might be worried about how he and Pam are so rooted in the office and what might that mean for their life together beyond it. Clearly my angst-sensors are extra sensitive.

But no, Jim is just inspired to ask Phyllis to make sure there are fireworks for Toby’s party. Why? Because he’ll miss Toby. He’s a heck of a guy. It doesn’t matter. He hands her a wad of cash.

Jim TH: I’m going to propose tonight. Holy crap.

Holly decides to help Kevin pick a snack. She’s so sweet, just exactly like you’d want someone to treat a person with special needs. Kevin can’t decide. It’s a toughie. Nope, Kev, that one’s a button, not a coin.

Kevin: I am totally going to bang Holly. She is cute, helpful and she really seems into me.

In the hall, Jim is going off on Ryan’s voicemail. He won’t be pushed out. Really nice. Very uncommonly un-Jim-like. Wonder why he left that message on his voicemail, though.

I thought Holly was melting down, cracked by the mundane horror of Dunder Mifflin Scranton, when Michael found her on the floor taking apart her chair. She was just trying to fix the lumbar support, though. He gets right down there with her, and their banter is surprising and fun. He drops a little Yoda on her when she mentions yoga, and she spares him any embarrassment by giving a little Yoda right back. You can feel the spark. He tries to make friendly small-talk, which she returns with friendly orgy talk and a dual Lovitz impression. Nice!

Michael reports back to Jim about the exchange. There was no talk of kids, religion or sides of the bed. It was hard. He wanted to kiss her. But he’s laying a base. And he’s giddy and distracted.

Phyllis, looking like she’s going to have a heart attack, turns to Angela for help. But Angela shredded her vendor list. Now why would she go and do that? Same reason Phyllis would clear half of Angela’s desk. Spite.

Michael would like Toby to just leave and come back for his party, but Toby still has his exit interview. Michael’s really been looking forward to that. Toby’s been cruising for a bruising for 12 years. Now Michael is his Cruise Director, Captain Bruising.

He’s even got a gift for Toby, and a lot of names to call him. But then Holly joins in because it’s her job, much to Michael’s disappointment. Has she seen the bailer? Oh look, Pam’s here. Hey Pam, says Toby. Stay. It’s too tough for Michael to carry on now as planned.

Michael: Um, alright, well then I will proceed. I just have some questions that I was going to ask. Um, who do you think you are?
Toby: I’m Toby.
Michael: Yeah, correct. Um, what gives you the right?
Holly: I brought the binder. Do you want to give it a look?

Watching Michael mouth the words that he’s going to kill Toby was great. And then Toby opens Michael’s present for him, a rock with a note: “Suck on this.” This made me laugh harder than at any other time in the episode. Michael lamely blames others for the cruel gift, but Dwight sells him out. He thought it was kind of over the line anyway.

Michael brilliantly convinces Toby it was all a psych. Is brilliantly the right word? His real gift is forthcoming, at Pam’s relentless prodding. It’s his watch. How generous.

Just then there’s a commotion at Jim’s desk. On YouTube (nice inobtrusive product placement), Ryan is being escorted from corporate by the police. It turns out he was misleading shareholders, Oscar explains, by having his employees enter sales a second time into the Web site.

The real crime, in Oscar’s view, was the beard.

Michael is devastated at his friend’s downfall, but Kelly can’t wait to rub it in…in prison.

Jim’s leaves one more voicemail for Ryan, telling him to ignore the earlier message. After all, he’ll have his hands tied. Booyah!

Toby tells Holly he normally leaves Michael alone at times like this, but she goes to Michael’s side. He’s sincerely distraught, and she’s sweet and simple to him, like a lady baker. She must have done baking on a professional level.

Outside, Phyllis has put together the best party ever. A bouncy house. A ferris wheel. No anti-gravity machine though. Pam sneaks a look at the camera when she spots the fireworks (total throwback to their rooftop date from Season 2 ).

Pam TH: Is Jim going to propose tonight? He is, isn’t he? No, he’s not. Is he?

On the Ferris Wheel, Holly talks about her old job and Michael uncharacteristically chokes back a choice TWSS. The funny thing is, she probably would have approved.

Later, Meredith, Mose and Dwight are sneaking a raccoon in Holly’s car, but she spots them. Mose runs. And when Mose runs, people laugh. I did, anyway. (If Mike Schur was a Mets fan, I’d send him perfume-scented fan mail.) Michael quickly steps to Holly’s defense.

Michael: No, there is no such thing as playful hazing. Dwight, I want you to look at Holly right now. Everybody, I want you to look at Holly right now. And maybe if you look at her deeply enough you will see what I see in her. And that is that we are all very lucky to have her here. Holly is the best thing that has happened to this company since World War II. Fifty years. She is the best.

She’s touched, so much so that she can’t stop touching his arm. He can’t believe it. Heck, neither could I. Jan wasn’t much for affection.

You easily could have missed it, but it was a nice moment when one of Bob Vance’s employees calls Phyllis Mrs. Vance. She sends Kevin for barbecue sauce, and Holly is very impressed that he drives his own car. She’s really proud of him. This bit just kept getting funnier for me.

Once again, Michael’s got a microphone in his hands, but it’s much better than in “Job Fair”. It’s time to say goodbye to Toby, he says, who they may never see again. Michael’s a songwriter, as some may know. Song parody writer, Pam corrects. He’s written Beers in Heaven and Total Eclipse of the Fart (and of course The Diwali Song). He won’t be singing any of those, though. He wrote a Goodbye, Toby song to the tune of Supertramp’s Goodbye Stranger. It’s actually kind of unironic and nice.

Cut to a talking head by Pam that fellow Accessory Chris Serico liked a bit less than I did.

Pam TH: I’m going to miss Toby. He has a nice, calming presence in the office…Don’t tell him I said this, but I always thought he was kind of cute.

Cut back to Michael doing a “Toby’s Leaving” dance that was “Booze Cruise”-esque, if you know what I mean. Even Holly’s impressed, which tells you she must be hot for him. She’d love to hear Beers in Heaven, but it’s too soon. It’s very sexual.

Just then his cell phone rings, and the episode takes a turn for the bleak. It’s Kevin, urging him to get to the supermarket, but he won’t say why. Holly figures Kevin’s just overwhelmed by having such a big day. She’s very playful and bashful at the cameras, and I loved that about her. I worried she might not be genuine. This made me stop worrying.

Turns out, Kevin pulled a fast one. He ran into Jan at Gerrity’s and figured she and Michael had some catching up to do. She’s about, what, five months pregnant? Michael can’t believe it. I could because I called it. He’s obviously thrilled, which you’d expect him to be. It must have happened while they were together, but he’s not the dad, she tells him.

Michael: You cheated on me when I specifically asked you not to?
Jan: No, I did not. I did not cheat on you. I did not.
Michael: OK, so it’s not mine, and it’s not somebody else’s. I know the whole toilet seat thing is a myth, so—
Jan: I went to a sperm bank.
Michael: You did?
Jan: Uh huh.
Michael: When we were going out? I don’t understand. You always used to be very cautious. Wear two condoms. You’d rather have somebody else’s sperm than my sperm?
Jan: No, it’s not just any sperm bank. I mean, this is a really, really great place. It’s amazing actually. I’m going to bring you the catalogue, and you should look through it. In fact it’s right next to that little breakfast place that you like in the city where you can draw on the tables.
Michael: IHOP.
Jan: IHOP.

Jan TH: If I was 22, and I had lots of time to have lots of children, then sure. Let’s let Michael have a shot at one of them. But honestly, I need to make this one count.

He’s devastated, and I was devastated for him. She callously even invites him to her Lamaze class the next day, but thankfully he’s noncommittal. His whole life he’s known he loves sex and he wants kids. He just never thought those two things might go hand in hand. Nice call back to him having the online dating screen name of “LittleKidLuvr”.

Back at the office parking lot, Pam and Jim are watching the fireworks, Darryl’s serenading them and all is right with the world. He’s got the ring out! It’s going to happen! She puts her head on his shoulder, a la “Diversity Day”, but this time he kisses it and she smiles. Everything is perfect.

Until Andy grabs the microphone and steals Jim’s thunder.

Andy, who invited his parents for the occasion, is proposing to Angela. She won’t even meet him on stage, and he knocks down Darryl’s keyboard as he walks over to her and asks for her tiny hand in marriage.

Angela: OK
Andy: Into the mic sweetie.
Angela: I said OK.

Ouch. And Jim puts the ring back into his pocket.

Andy TH: I’ve been carrying that ring around for six years, because you don’t know when you’re going to meet the right girl and the moment’s going to be right. And tonight with the fireworks, and the music and everything, it was right.

Dwight’s devastated, of course, admitting it’s his own fault. But Andy’s ecstatic. “Mr. Andrew Bernard” has a nice ring to it. Wait, what?

Pam, sullen, is cornered by Toby for that photo of the two of them. He bought a really expensive camera, from the looks of it. It takes a few tries to get a good shot because she just can’t smile.

Pam TH: I don’t know. I just, I really thought Jim was going to propose tonight.

So did Jim, but she doesn’t know that.

Holly catches up with Michael on his return and fills him in on the events of the evening. She tries to coax him to join her for dessert, but he just recommends a local diner and walks off, totally missing the cue. Kevin moves right in, and let me just say that will not end well. Holly’s sad too, but for her, “It was a good day.” I love that phrase.

Inside, Michael brought Hank the security guard by to escort Toby out, just as Michael’s watch alarm sounds, bookending the episode.

In his office he calls Jan and leaves word he’ll join her at Lamaze class, and if she can tell him what that is he’ll see her in the morning. He’s going to be kind of a daddy. Fade to black.

The tag is a sort of call back to Casino Night, but not in the way I hoped: there’ll be no reprieve for Jim’s proposal plans before September. Instead we see Phyllis making her way out. She checks in to the office on the way and catches a half-naked Dwight and Angela going at it, hot and heavy.

Oh my. The consequences for Andy.

So there you have it. I’m going to have a lot more to say about it, I have a feeling, but it’ll take me a few days to continue to gather my thoughts. In the meantime…

The first deleted scene is up…

And here you can check out Ryan’s perp walk over and over again and really savor it…

And because you know you want to watch it again and again, here’s the full episode…

By the way, OfficeTally got clobbered by the post-finale traffic last night. No surprise there. You can post your questions for OT’s final Q&A with the writers, this time for Jen Celotta, who co-wrote “Goodbye, Toby” with Paul Lieberstien.

Speaking of Paul, you can check out his post-episode blog here. Among the scoops, Toby really is gone, Amy Ryan isn’t going anywhere and you can check out the lyrics to Beers in Heaven and Total Eclipse of the Fart.