It’s taken me this long to write about the fact that Lisa Fernandes escaped an Elimination Challenge boot for the SIXTH TIME to make it to the final challenge of the “Top Chef” finale in Puerto Rico.

I’d like to think the delay’s entirely due to the shock that the contestant she beat out, Antonia Lofaso, appeared to be a superior chef—and not just in part one of the Season 4 finale. But in reality, I’ve been swamped with other stories and I wasn’t about to skimp on a quality, crucial “Top Chef” rundown two days before the winner is announced.

And if neither Stephanie Izard nor Richard Blais is named the winner, the series should just throw itself in a pot and burn itself beyond recognition; you know, the kind of supposed “sabotage” that Lisa’s rice endured on a regular basis.

For starters, last week’s “Previously on ‘Top Chef’” montage showed absolutely no proof of Lisa’s suckitude in the pre-Puerto Rico finale. Maybe producers thought viewers would conveniently forget.

When she arrived in Puerto Rico, conveniently last to build up the drama, Lisa sported a mildly improved ‘do and a newish attitude. But the forced “group hug” she requested didn’t exactly make me feel like I was watching the Hallmark channel.

And perhaps a precursor of things to come, her first on-camera laugh in recent memory happened after Richard nearly burned off his eyebrows on an unexpected wave of stovetop flame. Lovely.

The four chefs met guest chef Wilo Benet prior to the Quickfire Challenge, which was to prepare two dishes using plantains. Stephanie and Lisa were in the top bracket while Antonia and Richard were lumped on the bottom. Thankfully, Stephanie won her first(!) Quickfire and the right to choose the pairing of sous-chefs for the Elimination Challenge.

For the EC, the chefs had to prepare multiple dishes using different parts of whole pigs for 100 VIP’s at the Puerto Rico Governor’s mansion. Antonia’s flinch upon Tom Colicchio’s unveiling of the very dead pig was priceless.

Lisa, to no one’s surprise, wasn’t thrilled about the sous-chef options that Stephanie would pick for her. “I’m looking at the options and they’re very limited,” she said. She’s burned more than a few bridges with Dale Talde and Andrew D’Ambrosi and didn’t exactly forge great friendships with Evangelos “Spike” Mendelsohn or Nikki Cascone.

Stephanie picks Dale for herself. Oh, and did you know Stephanie and Dale had known each other for 10 years prior to the show? Well now you do! I love those late “Top Chef” reveals. Very cool. Good thing he came up with the crispy pork skin salad to save her after he left her pork unrefrigerated overnight. “If I got her sent home,” he mused, “I swear to God I will never forgive myself.” Nice to see the sensitive side of a guy who also showed plenty of bravado.

Steph said she paired up the chefs in a way that would result in the least amount of yelling; but if that were really true, would she have picked Andrew for Lisa? Although Stephanie appears to be a sweetheart, methinks giving Spike to Richard was more a quiet attempt to derail his chances rather than to improve everyone’s.

And Antonia was paired with Nikki, which seemed harmless enough at the time. “My daughter said ‘Don’t even bother coming home unless you win.’” How’s the weather down there, Antonia? And who’s watching your kid these days?

Halfway through the show, Richard dropped another hint that Lisa isn’t Ms. Congeniality, calling her the “gray cloud in the kitchen.” Had he really bad-mouthed anyone to this point of the show?

Hmm… you think viewers wanted Lisa gone? Maybe the poll Bravo offered during the commercial breaks offered a clue. Asked who of the Final Four should go, 91 percent said Lisa, followed by 4 percent for Antonia in a distant second, 3 percent for Richard in third and 2 percent for Stephanie in fourth. I think Salmonella is more popular than Lisa.

As the judges made their way to each table, it was obvious that Richard and Stephanie were the favorites. Richard’s dishes were so good that his Elimination Challenge victory was a NEW CAR. Something tells me this will be the unofficial consolation prize so that Stephanie’s eventual “Top Chef” title doesn’t feel so forced in a we-need-a-woman-to-win sort of way.

But at the losing bracket of the judges’ table, Lisa was criticized for missing the mark on her dishes while Antonia was blasted for having the nerve to have all her food on the same plate (really?), for undercooked pigeon peas (hmm) and for having smaller crowds at her table (uhh…). Funny, I didn’t think this round was a popularity contest.

After Antonia’s tearful good-bye, the Stew Room filled with an eerie silence broken by Lisa’s nasty and needy plea: “Now you guys are upset that Antonia’s leaving, but a ‘Congratulations’ would have been a little bit nice.”

Leave it to Richard to save the day with his best quote yet, saved for his testimonial beyond Lisa’s earshot: “What did she expect? I don’t understand that. You’ve won the f***ing bronze medal. Congratulations.”

Well at least he finally said “Congratulations.”

And for the first time all season, I had absolutely zero idea why the judges picked the knife-packer that they did. The only reason I can imagine is because it makes for more interesting TV to have a villain, but one’s not needed in a season that has two unbelievably talented finalists—ones that likely would have taken down the winners of either Season 2 (Ilan Hall) or Season 3 (Hung Huynh).

As I said earlier, Richard’s winning the car softens the blow for the inevitable crowning of Stephanie Izard. That’s the way it should end. But considering Lisa has dodged the fatal bullet six times, what’s two more, really?

By the way, I’ve read nothing about a “Top Chef” reunion special for Season 4. Will there be one with a bunch of no-shows, like the subpar reunion offered after Season 2?

(Photos by Rafael Pichardo for NBC/Universal.)