OK, first I have this to say: How awesome am I that I almost sorta kinda figured out the Nikki plotline? (By the way, do I even need to say that if you didn’t watch, don’t keep reading? I do? OK: STOP READING NOW IF YOU DIDN’T WATCH. OK, got that out of the way.)

So, Tracey’s not Nikki and Nikki is truly, madly, deeply … dead. In the coffin and everything.

But never fear, Micah can talk to machines and was able to inform Tracey that she and his mommy were born on the same day … in the same hospital … delivered by (dun dun DUN!!!!) the same doctor. Dr. Zimmerman.

Awww, Micah hugs his mom’s clone twin. Creepy.

I was glad they didn’t drag out the whole “is she or isn’t she” storyline like some other shows are wont to do. (Look, I’m a huge Lost fan, but they’re killing me! And don’t even get me started on the identity of the final Cylon.)

But I admit I was a bit surprised, and then not so much, when Doctor Zimmerman informs Tracey that she’s his creation. So are the Nikki/Tracey/Jessica line a series of clones? Or were they actual twins whose abilities were implanted in some way?

This was both the most riveting and in a small way one of the most boring episodes of Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles. Luckily the former far outshone the latter.

We got ourselves an origin story last night, the origins of a cyborg, and it was a tragedy. Through the mind’s eye of a short-circuiting Cameron we learned of Allison Young, a teenager born before Judgement Day but most of whose life was defined by it. A fighter for the human resistance, she was captured by the machines and interrogated.

For a while there, you almost thought she and Cameron were one and the same. Not quite.

Meanwhile, Busy Phillips’ character—who has made so little impression on me I’d have to look up her name and don’t feel like it—is having pregnancy problems. Sarah, ever the good Samaritan, takes her to the hospital and spends the next day with her there.

While John Connor searches for Cameron, Sarah offers maternal bedside manner to Phillips’s mother-to-be. I get it: Sarah laments that she can never protect her son the way she feels compelled to. It’s a struggle no mother should face, but all those babies on the maternity ward are counting on her. Yada yada.

I was tempted to fast forward through every hospital scene (because DVR is how I roll), but I didn’t.

“It’s all Serena, Serena, SERENA!!!!”

Whoa. A hissy fit by the deposed Queen B. is a scary thing to behold. It also made me realize something last night: Blair Waldorf is, quite possibly, more frightening than any of the villains on “Prison Break.” (Leighton Meester has just been on fire this season.)

And what prompted this little outburst, you ask? Why, just that Ms. van der Woodsen is seriously outshining B. as the hot new socialite on the scene. Not to mention, it was Fashion Week in New York, which means that Blair’s designer mother was paying more attention to Serena and intern Jenny (the horror!) than her own daughter.

So here’s what went down between the frenemies:

After watching Mamma Eleanor place Serena and her new pals in the front row of her show—Kirsten Dunst is SOOO 2007 (ouch!)—a jealous Blair turned to sabotage. Except she turned her wrath on Jenny, changing seating charts, firing models and swapping Eleanor’s finale dress with one of Jenny’s designs. But alas, Blair’s plans backfired. Jenny’s suggestion that Serena and the Socialites (hey, that’s a great band name!) swan down the catwalk turns out to be a great PR move, and the fashionistas (hello, Michael Kors!) love, love, love Jenny’s dress.

Blair tries to apologize to Serena in the end, but Miss Everything-Comes-Easily-To-Me has had her head turned by Poppy’s “don’t be afraid to show your inner light” speech. (Insert much eye-rolling here.) So Serena tells Blair that she’s not letting her hold her back anymore.

Jeez, Serena: Conceited much?

Clearly, Serena has forgotten that only last week, Blair tried to hatch a revenge plot because Dan had hurt Serena’s feelings. And just a few months ago, Blair got rid of the evil Georgina for her. Not to mention the myriad times that Blair has yanked her drunken ass out of a bar and covered for her. Blair’s methods might be mean sometimes, but she’s been a pretty loyal friend.

As for Blair and Jenny, B. tries to get Jenny fired—and rats her out to Rufus. Seems that little J. has been going to work at Eleanor’s instead of attending school. Blair showing up at the Humphreys’ apartment with a tub of chicken soup and fake concern was classic. (And you’d have thought Mrs. Queller would have caught on to that fake mono story a little sooner, wouldn’t you?)

The upshot of all this is that Blair and Jenny call a truce, after J. tells Blair she admires her for working so hard for all she has, while Serena floats through life. Jenny also announced that she’s not going back to school, and called Rufus a hypocrite for dropping out himself to follow his musical dreams. (To top it off, she implied that she’s more talented than he was. Snap!)

So that’s what’s up with the girls. Now, how about the boys?

Get your mind out of the gutter. If you saw the end of last night’s premiere episode of “Chuck” you know exactly what I’m talking about.

Not that the beginning was anything short of dramatic, either. “Before you do anything rash, I think you should know that I have the cipher,” sputters Chuck as he’s dangled by his ankles high above a busy street by Michael Clarke Duncan’s baddie character, Colt.

So begins Season 2, which, with any justice will begin to amass the ratings needed to sustain another few seasons with some stiff competition (“Dancing with The Stars,” “Gossip Girl” and “How I Met Your Mother”). Insert “Chuck vs. The Nielsens” joke here.

The “Chuck vs. The First Date” synopsis and analysis are ahead, so stop reading now if you’ve got the first “Chuck” ep DVR’ed and awaiting your perusal. Read more of this entry »

Although you may have watched the outstanding premiere of the NBC spy dramedy “Chuck” online legally in the past week, it makes its premiere on traditional TV (remember that?) tonight at 8 p.m. EST.

How do I know it’s outstanding? I’ve seen the first three epsiodes, thanks to the good people at The Peacock. And these episodes are as good or better than last season’s best. Just ask Entertainment Weekly guru Michael Ausiello, who also screened the first two eps and declared “Believe the hype.”

And the ratings-challenged show doesn’t just need you; you need it. The first scene after the opening credits of “Chuck vs. The First Date” prompted three laugh-out-loud moments within mere minutes. It’s accessible to new viewers, loyal to devout ones and has no shortage of Awesome, Captain or otherwise.

Speaking of opening credits and Awesome, kudos to the show for incorporating more regular characters into the intro, including Ryan McPartlin (Captain Awesome), Vik Sahay (Lester), Scott Krinsky (Jeff), Julia Ling (Anna) and Mark Christopher Lawrence (Big Mike).

Keep an ear out for an amazing nod to one of the best songs to be featured on “Flight of the Conchords” this season when Sarah Walker’s new cover job is revealed, and an eye out for an excellent twist at the end of the episode.

Cameo alert: Michael Clarke Duncan (“The Green Mile”) is in the first episode, followed by John Larroquette (“Night Court”) in the second. Beyond the third episode, look out for Gary Cole, who was cast as Walker’s dad. Good times.

(Photo courtesy of NBC/Universal.)

We’re back and so is vintage Office. We break down “Weight Loss,” the Season 5 premiere, and lament the eventual departure of DJ Hollis Flax. Oh, and we’re down 1.3 pounds this week! Take that Nashua!

Podcast file:

Flash video:

By the way, check out the second deleted scene and more after the jump…

One of America’s favorite medical shows got off to a fine season start with a two-hour show that focused on the doctors as well as some patients. In “Dream a Little Dream of Me,” the wonderful Bernadette Peters, Mariette Hartley and Kathy Baker starred in the riveting storyline involving three women and their husbands, all of whom had been in car accidents due to black ice on the roads. Peters’ “Sarabeth” and Baker’s “Anna” were life-long friends, and it was only through Sarabeth’s learning that her hubby’s health insurance was to run out at midnight did she find out that said hubby and Anna had been having an affair.

Only actors as talented and subtle as Peters and Baker could have pulled of that episode with such skill and aplomb. Most other female thespians would have over-acted the scenes, turning the women’s reactions into maudlin fits. Hartley, unfortunately, got the raw end of that deal, having to just lie in bed and ask the same questions  over and over because due to a brain hemorrhage that had left her with a memory that lasted 30 seconds.

It takes a lot to impress our snarky Dr. Yang, but she was surely impressed by staid military doctor Owen Hunt, especially when he, stapled his own leg gash and then with no warning, yanked the sharp, fallen  ice cycle from her torso. (Scotsman Kevin McKidd slipped just a tad with his American accent.) Hunt turned down the Chief’s offer for a full-time job at Seattle Grace, saying that he must finish his tour of duty, but we will being seeing more of him.

While I am a Yang fan, I don’t, however, admire how she manages her interns—with intimidation. It’s not good for their moral and has the exact opposite effect on their self-esteem and learning capabilities. She obviously doesn’t know that you must earn loyalty, not demand it. A little bit of kindness and respect towards her interns would go a long way for both Yang and her group of interns. Let her not forget all sucking-up she did with Dr. Hahn.

Elsewhere at Seattle Grace, nurse Rose was on a streak of revenge, giving Derek the post-break-up stink eye. She then had the temerity to “accidentally” slice his hand as she was handing him a surgical knife in the operating room. But all was well in the end when she came to her senses and mea culpa’ed Derek and told him she was moving to the pediatrics unit.

Mer’s inability to make an emotional decision by herself hasn’t changed from last season. She’s such a wimp that she insisted that Cristina give her opinion on Mer’s suggestion that Derek move in with her. Give me a break. Cristina gave her an honest opinion—that she didn’t think it was such a swift idea–and then had to make a 180 at the end, just so Mer would feel better about the idea. Mer, honey, grow a backbone! So it’s no wonder that dorky Lexie is as skittish as a squirrel: It’s genetic, and I hope George—should he ever realize that Lexie has the hots for him—keeps her at bay with a 10-foot pole.

I thoroughly enjoyed Izzie’s fantasy with Denny. Any scenes of Jeffrey Dean Morgan are always welcome. Dang, they shouldn’t have killed that guy off! I don’t watch The CW’s “Supernatural,” but I read that in an upcoming ep, perhaps this week’s, one of the main characters will meet his dead parents. Yea! More of JDM! 

On October 9, in “Here Comes the Flood,” a Seattle Grace plumbing leak becomes a deluge and wreaks havoc; the Chief attempts to implement new teaching policies; George tries to retake his residency exam; and McDreamy hopes to kick out Meredith’s housemates. Also, poor shrink Dr. Wyatt (Amy Madigan) must continue to listen to Meredith ramble and whine. (Photos: Ron Tom and Eric McCandless/ABC)

Lipstick — that staple of economically fraught times — has certainly been co-opted by politics this season, which is understandable, given that lipstick is a fluid metaphor for the pretty and the decorative, often mated with words that suggest otherwise. Hence, pigs, pit-bulls and jungles.

In its first season, “Lipstick Jungle,” based on the novel by “Sex and the City” author Candace Bushnell, was a poor girl’s “SATC.” Now that the show has returned, and poor girls abound quite literally, it has a chance to become the kind of escapist entertainment that women’s pictures were in the ‘30s. Read more of this entry »

My initial reaction to last night’s season premiere: The Office is back!!!

And I don’t mean back from summer hiatus. I mean back, as in Season 2 back. There, I said it. I compared it to the one perfect season of television ever produced, the heights to which the show has aspired to return ever since Pam Beesly uttered the words “I can’t” and a single tear rolled down Jim Halpert’s cheek.

This episode came exactly two years too late. But it wasn’t too late. Not by a long shot.

This was a frenetic, hilarious and deeply satisfying hour of television for die-hard fans who’ve longed for it to recapture the magic, not just of its two star-crossed stars, but the magic Greg Daniels and Co. captured at “The Dundies” and maintained through “Casino Night.”

I’ve only watched it once. I’m not embarrassed to say—though I probably should be—that I’ll probably rewatch it three times before the next episode airs on Oct. 9. (Why no episode next week? Besides the fact that NBC hates America, there’s some debate scheduled for next Thursday.)

So for now, I’ll eschew the detailed recap in favor of my take on what was so great about “Weight Loss.”

Feel free to watch it again first, though…

Read more of this entry »

Since bad boy Dylan McKay was revealed to be the father of Kelly’s son on “90210” a few weeks ago, rumors have been flying about whether Luke Perry will indeed return to Beverly Hills.

The latest scuttlebutt is after the jump, but first, here’s the evidence that leans towards the possibility that we WON’T be seeing Dylan again:

• Luke Perry has explicitly said that he has no plans to appear on the show. Like, duh!

• He gets really, really cranky when anyone asks him about it. After getting testy with print reporters during a conference call to promote his appearance on the “Law & Order: SVU” season premiere this week, he reportedly got ticked when he went on the “Today” show Tuesday for the same reason. The NY Daily News says Perry left the NBC studio “in a huff” after getting ambushed by a “90210” clip during an interview with Hoda Kotb and Kathie Lee Gifford. Check out the segment below, courtesy of Hulu on AOL, and it’s pretty clear Perry doesn’t want to talk about it. (His short response, and the hosts’ quick retreat off the topic, starts at the 2:45 mark…)