Whoa. I was actually blown away by “90210” last night, even if it was for only the last minute of the show, and a good chunk of that minute was the trailer for next week’s episode. (Brenda’s back, yay! And she’s been a bad, bad girl. Would we expect any less? More on that later.)

Anyway, much of last night’s plotting revolved around pout-faced Naomi’s discovery that Ethan and Annie are dating.

So what sort of dastardly scheme does she come up with? Have Annie’s totally hot ex-boyfriend make a surprise visit for her 16th birthday and stir up trouble for her and Ethan.

Uncomfortable, yes. Wicked, no. Which got me thinking: I’d love to see an East Coast-West Coast teen beeyotch competition go down on the CW, wouldn’t you?

All I kept saying to myself while watching Naomi’s three brain cells wildly attempt to come up with some diabolical plan was, “Girl, please. Blair Waldorf would sprinkle caviar on your sad little self and eat you alive with a Tiffany spoon.”

Annie, however, was sure upset to find Naomi sucking face with her ex. Jared? Jason? Kansas Boy was so blah, not much about him registered besides those rock-hard abs. (And how hilarious was Tabitha’s reaction to him coming out of the pool, not to mention her karaoke performances? Cutting Jessica Walter’s appearances is a big mistake.)

So, boo hoo, Naomi ruined Annie’s Sweet 16 party. But Annie actually got angry instead of sucking it up as usual: Shenae Grimes’ line, “You! Outside. Now,” was pretty convincing. Even if we knew Annie wasn’t gonna do much more than shake her finger in Naomi’s face.

We need some serious “Dynasty” action to shake up this show, don’cha think? I kept thinking that Annie should shove Naomi in the swimming pool, but instead, the long-lost son of Annie’s dad and Naomi’s mom showed up.

I love a man a in uniform, don’t you?

That was the gotcha moment, people. We all knew it was coming, but I liked the fact that the show gave half-brother Seth a somewhat unexpected arrival.

So I guess this makes frenemies Annie and Naomi now sort of related? Thanksgiving dinner at the Wilson-Clark households should be a blast this year.

In other West Beverly news, Adrianna and Navid were all cute: She met his Persian family, and he confessed to being a virgin. And isn’t Navid’s dad some kind of porn director? Jeez. Talk about ironic. It was a little weird seeing Papa Shirazi get all Leave It to Beaver, too, but I guess even porn kings have family values.

Also, Kelly came back from her Montana trip to see Dylan! We learned that Dylan has the same cheekbones, same sideburns and same aversion to commitment. Nice.

Kelly seemed all Zen about it, though, telling Silver that she’s leaving herself open to all possibilities. (Gee, could that possibility be the answer to this spinoff’s prayers: That Luke Perry changes his mind and guest stars on the show?)

Then no sooner does Kelly unlock the door to her office than she learns about Ryan’s supposed affair with a student. That student is Kimberly, the undercover cop, so no one can know that Ryan didn’t do anything wrong. His “leave of absence” puts him into a shame spiral, though, and he pretty much did nothing more than whineg to Kelly, kiss Kimberly and get ready for some mystery trip out of LAX.

I giddily thought that this might be how the show would finally boot Ryan’s dead weight, at least temporarily. But next week’s trailer implies that he’ll be back. Because Brenda’s in the hospital and she’s going to tell Kelly she slept with Ryan! OMG.

There’s been all these rumors that Brenda’s in the hospital because she’s dying, but for a moment, I wondered: Could she be pregnant? That got me all happy again, because my mind immediately raced to: She’s pregnant with Dylan’s child! That’s why she was so upset to delete his phone number from her cell. She’s been secretly seeing him behind Kelly’s back.

But, no, it turns out that she slept with lame ol’ Ryan, so if she is preggers, the bambino’s probably his. Ick.

The good news, though, is this: Brenda’s back! Whoo hoo! The bitch is on the loose again, and from the looks of it, Kelly’s her first victim.

Yay. Naomi Clark, start taking lessons.

(Photos courtesy of the CW)