‘Lost’ season premiere: We’ve seen it! Ha, ha, ha ha ha!
Aw, I didn’t mean to tease you. Okay, maybe just a little!
But yes, it’s true, ABC handed out a little Christmas gift to us media folks in the form of the first two episodes of “Lost” — three whole weeks ahead of the Jan. 21 premiere. (We must have been good little boys and girls this year.)
Anyway, speaking of teasing, what can I tell you about the premiere that won’t have Team Darlton feeding me to the smoke monster?
The first hour offers complete whiplash, with on and off-island storylines happening all over the place.
Now that Ben pushed that donkey wheel and moved the island, we’re no longer in the world of the flashback and flash-forward: We’re talking shifts in decades, years, months, days. And not necessarily in that order.
I’m sure you don’t plan to miss a moment of the show anyway once it airs, but let me emphasize this point anyway: There should be no bathroom or snack breaks unless you hit your DVR pause button.
It’s that riveting, and potentially that confusing.
Believe me, we’re being rewarded for being loyal (a.k.a. “rabid”) fans, who obsess over every detail. If the premiere proves anything, it’s that the show has given up trying to lure new viewers: If you haven’t tuned in by now, forget it. You won’t understand a thing.
Now, it’s all about satisfying the people who made the show a hit.
And boy, does it.
First off, the entire shebang kicks off with an opening sequence that, for the first time, DOESN’T focus on one of the main characters.
Huh, you say? Don’t worry: It may feature a figure who hasn’t had much screen time, but this person is powerful in terms of the show’s greater mythology.
Also, Sawyer spends much of the first hour running around the island shirtless.
Yes, ladies – and gentlemen – prepare to feast your eyes on a half-naked James Ford.
(And to those folks groaning right now about how the show is obviously pandering to the lowest common denominator, and it’s better than that, blah blah blah? Never fear: This is done in such a wink-wink manner, it’ll actually make you laugh.)
So what else can I reveal?
Well, I hope everyone likes Daniel Faraday, because you’ll be seeing a lot more of the twitchy physicist: He’ll be a major Season 5 player.
The Oceanic Six is still split up, although some interesting alliances are forming.
Characters who’ve gone bye-bye come back to say hello.
And a bunch of people still really, REALLY don’t like Ben. (Some things don’t change.)
That’s all I can say, fellow Lost-philes … for now.
But there will be plenty to say after Jan. 21, when we all get to share in the excitement. Tune in here the day after to discuss!
(Photos courtesy of ABC)