‘Gossip Girl’ recap: ‘Remains of the J’
Oh, little J, little J, even when a party’s supposed to be all about you, it’s not, is it?
That gosh-darn bored Serena highjacked your Sweet 16 party and turned it into what looked like the most boring socialite soiree ever. Anyone else think that the rager staged by those party crashers seemed infinitely more interesting?
Seriously, if you were in a high schooler, wouldn’t you rather talk to the kid who went home without his pants than Poppy Lifton? (Although talking to Poppy might reveal where she bought that horrible fur vest she insisted on parading around in for most of the episode.)
Anyway, the party wasn’t even all about Serena. Not when it led to hookups among the Nate-Blair-Chuck-Vanessa quadrangle.
Oh. No. They. Didn’t.
OH YES THEY DID!!
Chuck actually got Vanessa into bed, though both agreed that their affair is simply a meaningless revenge fling to get back at Nate and Blair for rekindling their PG-rated relationship.
But Chuck didn’t look like his usual scheming self the morning after. He actually looked like he was, gulp, ENJOYING himself. (Sigh. Guess my hopes of ridding the show of the useless V. have been dashed.)
As for B. and nice guy Nate? I’ll admit that I was as baffled as Blair by Nate’s friendly kisses, but it turns out he simply wanted to take things slow with Blair. And while Nate setting up that kiss in the snow at the duck pond – aided by the always fabulous Dorota – was sweet, I’m betting that this passionless, on-again couple will last about two more episodes. We all know the real Queen B. thrives on drama.
As for the rest of the gang? Well, Dan got a fan letter from a reader of his New Yorker (ha!) piece. A lame side story until we discovered at the episode’s end that the writer is his half-brother, the long-lost love child of Rufus and Lily. By the way, even though Love Child’s adoptive Mom and Dad think that he knows about his birth parents (which is why they think he wrote to Dan) it seemed more like a coincidence to me. I hope I’m wrong though, because that would be way too implausible – and I’m willing to give this show a lot of rope when it comes to credibility.
Well, she was her usual bratty self, posting the party address on Gossip Girl and ensuring that Lily’s apartment would be trashed. Even Eric didn’t stand up for her with the parental units.
I think Lily secretly breathed a sigh of relief when she and Rufus finally decided not to move in together. That little hellion’s only 16: She’s gonna be at home causing trouble for at least two more years. That’s a lot of destroyed Prada dresses.
(Side note: This is a little nitpicky, but I don’t recall Rufus and his wife finalizing their divorce. So if he sold the Brooklyn loft, wouldn’t half go to the exiled ex in upstate NY? Therefore, it probably wouldn’t pay for Dan’s Yale tuition anyway, but I digress…)
Anyway, Lily got some extra agita, too, when Serena decided to skip town for Spain with Poppy and her new boyfriend, Gabriel – who seems to have a fuzzy memory of meeting Serena back in her bad girl days.
And if S. was grounded for not cleaning up after the party, I can’t wait to see what her punishment is for leaving the country without permission.
Adios, boys and girls! XOXO…
(Photos courtesy of the CW)