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‘Gossip Girl’ finale recap: ‘The Goodbye Gossip Girl’


Oh, S.

Did you really think you could bring down Gossip Girl with a few weak text messages?

Please. Let’s just say you’re not exactly the brains of the bunch. Didn’t you learn anything by how your Poppy Lifton plan blew up last week?

Yes, my friends, Gossip Girl threw our Upper East Siders into a graduation day tizzy in last night’s season finale, which marks most of the characters’ transition to college next year.

Her well-timed email blast labeled all of the major players, and her knowledge of all their secrets certainly seemed to imply that the sneaky, snarky blogger is indeed one of them.

Alas, we didn’t discover her (or his!) identity: Did you really think we would? And the kids won’t be escaping her scrutiny, either.

As GG announced, she’ll be keeping an eye on them all in college. Which makes no real sense at all, but hey, there’s no way the show is going to throw away its signature narrative device.

(Plus, it would put Kristen Bell out of a job, and that would be a tragedy.)

Anyway, this was an hour of action, as our boys and girls made their plans for the summer and beyond.

And of course, we can’t forget about the potentially shark-jumping moment when our beloved Mother Chucker declared his love for the Queen B…

So let’s hit the high points, okay?

Chuck and Blair are in love! We knew it, they knew it, everyone knew it. But they just couldn’t say those three little words to each other until last night. A total “awww” moment, especially when Chuck came back from Europe with all of B.’s favorite things. But where does the super-couple go from here? I can’t imagine they’ll simply wander off into the sunset together.

Blair may have a summer of Chuck lovin’ ahead of her, but come fall, her world will be turned upside down – courtesy of Georgina Sparks. So which G. will be Blair’s roommate at NYU: the Jesus lover or total bee-yotch? Seems like Jesus has been sidelined, and B. has more to worry about than navigating the subway system.

Speaking of NYU, that will be Dan’s new alma mater, too. We think.

If Georgina’s telling the truth in getting the Humphrey money back from Poppy, Yale may be back on the table. Of course, that doesn’t answer the question of how Rufus was going to afford NYU, if he couldn’t afford Yale. Last we checked, NYU actually cost a bit MORE than Yale. Or how Georgina got access to the Humphreys’ bank account. I think moving to New Haven is out of the question for Dan, given the fact that the entire gang – except Serena, and does anyone think she’s really going to end up at Brown? – is still NYC-based.

Serena’s off to find her dad! Did anyone else know he was missing? We’ve never known the whereabouts of Lily’s first husband and baby daddy, but I guess the rest of the van der Woodsens didn’t either. And what was up with the random bearer of that news? Carter Baizen, of all people? I know Leighton Meester and Sebastian Stan (who plays Carter) are dating in real life, but does she have that much pull to keep this guy around? Carter is really not at all interesting. He’s totally Chuck-lite.

Jenny is the new Queen Bee! Crowned by the Queen B. herself. That nice little about-face regarding Little J showed that Blair is at least trying to grow up. Plus, it was fun to smack the smug look of the face of the mean girls. (The little shooing motion Blair gave to that transfer student and aspiring queen was priceless.) But will the hallways be safe with J. in charge? Something tells me Jenny may slip into her old behavior during her reign. Can Eric keep her in check?

Vanessa and Nate are going backpacking through Europe, after all! Wow, this show is really determined to keep Vanessa around. Not only is she going to NYU, too – does slinging coffee pay well enough to afford that kind of tuition? – but now she’s Nate’s vacation buddy again. With benefits, we assume. Could the show have found a lamer way to get Nate out of his internship at the mayor’s office? The deputy mayor hit on him so he quit? Good grief. A sloppy way to reunite him and Vanessa, and a sloppy way for him to prove that he’s not a man-whore, dammit!

Lily and Rufus are engaged! It’s amazing what a six-pack of Mike’s Hard Lemonade and some ganja will do for you. All their problems evaporated, just like that! Well, in the end, at least Rufus got Lily a better ring than the label from a cheap malt beverage.

So what did you think of the season ender, fans?

Has the show jumped the shark by putting Chuck and Blair together?

Do you think the kids will all end up going to college in NYC?

Is Georgina Sparks a good permanent addition to the show?

And where do you think Mr. van der Woodsen’s been all this time?

Until the fall, boys and girls, XOXO….

(Photos courtesy of the CW)

This entry was posted on Tuesday, May 19th, 2009 at 8:30 am by Heather Salerno. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.
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