Gossip Girl season premiere recap: Reversals of Fortune
My, oh my, didn’t it seem like ALL of our favorite Upper East Siders hooked up over the summer?
Well, everyone except Dan. (Hey, his turn is coming after Georgina returns next week: Yes – whoops, my bad, SPOILER ALERT! – I said Dan and GEORGINA…)
And Eric and Jenny didn’t hook up either, it seems. Not with each other, of course – with anyone else. Although an Eric-Jenny mini-romance would be fun. (Note to GG writers: Have Eric give the straight life a try for an episode or two, just for kicks.)
Anyway, I digress. It was indeed the summer of smooching and more. (Stealing horses and carousing in the woods? Shame, shame, Carter and Serena.)
Unfortunately, I didn’t feel much passion about any of these relationships, even – GASP! – Chuck and Blair.
Yes, the two were still together, although the couple were trying to jazz up their brand-new relationship already by role-playing (a.k.a. Blair going psycho when she catches C. flirting with other girls). Not to sound like an old fuddy-duddy, but did anyone else find their new reindeer games a bit, well, sad? These kids are 18 and have been going out for just three months, but they need to spice things up already? Then again, maybe they’re right, because I was a bit bored with their togetherness too – and I only had to watch them for an hour.
I can’t even remember a single decent quip from either of them last night, can you? Has monogamy sapped them of their snark? Sigh. We’re only one ep into Season Three, and already, I long for the game-playing, will-they-or-won’t-they days of old. Not good. However, I must say that Chuck’s sincere “I’m not Chuck Bass without you” was a bit of a heart-melter.
As for the rest of the gang, Nate was handed a mildly more interesting love life this season with the courtship of Bree Buckley, the daughter of his grandfather’s political rival. And seems like Gramps is going to use that somehow to bring down his conservative enemy: I’m guessing nude photos, aren’t you?
And jeez, can they give Nate a storyline that doesn’t involve a sex scandal? Oh, who am I kidding, like they’re going to squander Chase Crawford eye candy on some kind of, oh, I don’t know, let’s say, a term paper brouhaha at Columbia. Then again, I’m sure they’d figure out some way to feature Nate’s naked chest, even if the scene required a hazmat suit.
At least Nate and the narcolepsy-inducing Vanessa finally broke up, although they had apparently a brief fling in Prague, of all places. V. is now macking on newbie Scott, who, of course, is the lost-long love child of Rufus and Lily. Is he really into Vanessa, or is he just using her to get close to Rufus and the Upper East Side Brady Bunch? Hopefully, it’s the latter, because Scott looked like V.’s little brother when they were kissing. Ick.
Then there was Serena and Carter, who let slip that S.’s summertime shenanigans were due to the fact that her estranged father refuses to see her. So she’s teaming up with the paparazzi to ensure that Daddy van der Woodsen can’t turn around without seeing his little girl topless in every European gossip rag. Lovely.
BTW, was it explained exactly why random CARTER was the one who tracked down Serena’s father? Were all of the other male GG cast members otherwise engaged? Was Leighton Meester tired of footing the brunch bill with boyfriend Sebastian Stan, and insist that he get a job?
So what did YOU think of the premiere, boys and girls? Were you pleased with the group’s summertime antics? Or are you just waiting for school to start next week? That’s right, Dan, Blair and Vanessa start at NYU, where – as the the trailer let slip – Georgina will be Blair’s roommate.
Let the real fun begin!
(Photos courtesy of the CW)