The installment opened with a scene set in Coney Island—the real Coney Island. (Can you imagine how cheesy and phony it would have looked had the show tried to recreate the famous amusement park and beach on some Hollywood set?) Turns out that C.I. is where Sam runs into his father, Vic (“Rescue Me’s” Dean Winters), who is allegedly picking up ransom money for some alleged hoodlums to whom he owes money. Sam then decides that he is back in 1973 to prevent Vic from leaving his wife and kid.

Over the course of episode, Sam gets to know his father, who had suddenly and inexplicitly permanently split in the middle of little Sammy’s 4th birthday party—an event that badly scarred Sam for the rest of his life. Sam and Vic played basketball together and Vic told adult Sam how much little Sam meant to him. In fact, big Sam was following Vic so closely that at one point, Vic asked adult Sam if he was trying to romantically hit on him. (What a creepy mind-twister that must have been for poor Sam!)

In the end, Sam saw with his own eyes that his father was a big-time liar and criminal, and why he had left little Sammy and his mother high and dry. The face-off between Vic and Sam in the park also brought back a painful, long-suppressed childhood memory about his father-and not a good one at that. Adult Sam also saved the life of policewoman Annie Norris, who must now be alive in 2008.

Some funny moments: when Sam referred to the Amber Alert System, tried to “high five” his father (although I’m not quite sure that high-fiving was not around back then) and pretended he was on the basketball court with early-’70s Knicks greats Walt Frazier, Willis Reed, Phil Jackson and Dave DeBusschere. Also Sam’s mother continued to call him Det. Luke Skywalker, and Sam slipped once and called her “Mom.”

Here are my questions of the week:
1) Although his theory was correct in the end, why did Sam believe that plowing through the numbers and letters printed on the bottom right corners of old police records would lead him to 35 Stewart Drive, where a creepy voice told him to go to the basement. Sure, Vic had mentioned that the secret to solving crossword puzzles always lay in the bottom right-corner boxes, but what in the world about that would lead Sam to the 125th’s filing cabinets.
2) Why has the adult Sam avoided meeting his 4-year-old self each time he’s had the opportunity? I can’t think of anything bad that would happen—such as his messng up his own destiny—if the two encountered each other. I have often wondered what I was like as a little kid and, unlike Sam, curiosity would have gotten the best of me. I have wondered even more what my parents were like in their 20s and 30s.

Here’s the rundown of the episode’s songs: “Everything I Own” by Bread; “Reelin’ in the Years” by Steely Dan; “Life on Mars” by David Bowie; and “Spaceman” by Harry Nilsson. Incidentally, I once read that rather than a love song from a man to a woman, Bread’s David Gates wrote “Everything I Own” in tribute to his late father. Also, the Alphabet Network invites viewers to catch 1973’s greatest hits on “Life on Mars Radio” at ABC.com.

Let us thank the ABC programming executives—even though they’re probably only about three years out of college and still call their mommies and daddies for advice—for not canceling “Life on Mars” (at least not right away). It was spared from the chopping block, unlike other newbies “Easy Money, “Valentine,” “Do Not Disturb,” “Crusoe” and “The Ex List.” “Dirty Sexy Money” was also (sob) axed. “Mars” returns Wednesday, January 28, following a first-run “Lost.

(Photos: ABC/John Clifford)

Elsewhere, dippy Lexie and her fellow clueless interns did something soooo stoopid that they should have been kicked out of Seattle Grace pronto, instead of just going on probation: They tried a solo “appy” (appendectomy) on an eager and willing Sadie—USING A TEXTBOOK AS THEIR GUIDE! Dumb and dumber. This group of goofballs is far more immature than Mer, Alex & Co. were when they were interns. I wouldn’t trust “Little Grey” to apply a Band-Aid to my pinky. Boy, did they get off easy!

Meanwhile, though he denies it, man-whore Sloan is still on the trail of “Little Grey.” Puh-LEEZE. He is SO out of her league. Using a football metaphor, she’s in Pop Warner and he’s a starter in the NFL.

It was nice to see Dr. Hunt not be such a gung-ho bully last night, especially when he sat on Cristina’s doorstep, waiting for her to get home. He was actually shy and sheepish, especially when telling Yang that she is beautiful. And it was great that she didn’t get all girly on him and take him up on his offer to go up to her apartment. Good for you, Cristina. Your action will only make him respect you more!

Next Thursday is, as you know unless you’re living in a vacuum, Thanksgiving Day. Thus, a repeat, the two-hour episode that opened this season, on October 25. That’s OK—most of us, I hope, have better things to do that day than veg in front of the boob tube.

(Photos: ABC/Randy Holmes, Craig Sjodin.)

See, this is just one of the unique scenarios that makes this show so unlike the other crapola on TV these days. That a clever and original show like “Mars” is not attracting a sustainable audience floors me. Same thing with Fox’s “Keen Eddie,” whose life was cruelly cut short.  So many other dramas, especially the procedurals such as the “CSIs,” “Without A Trace” and “Numbers,” are getting quite monotonous. “Life on Mars” is fresh blood!

And here’s another reason to love life on “Mars”: Besides being set in New York City, it’s also filmed there. “NYPD Blue” was a superb NYC-set show filmed in L.A., yet imagine how much better it would have been had the exterior sets not been a studio back lot in L.A. There is no substitute for Manhattan seeing the East River or the Manhattan skyline in the background, or filming on a street that doesn’t end in a dead end like so many streets on Hollywood back lots do. The City of New York is one of the characters on the show.

Anyway, some of Sam’s references to 2008 were saying “outside the box,” “shock and awe” and “tool,” and calling a squad typewriter “a stupid piece of crap analog machine” and busting some Michael Jackson dance moves (including, of course, the moon walk). P.S.: Rockland County’s Bill Irwin played the psych ward’s psychosurgeon Dr. Schwahn.

Here’s the episode’s song rundown, courtesy of ABC: “Sweet Lucy” The Propositions, “We’re An American Band” Grand Funk Railroad, “Going to Make a Time Machine” The Majestic Arrows and “Tuesday’s Dead” Cat Stevens.

Tonight (10:01-11:00), on “The Man Who Sold the World,” when the baby of a prominent family is kidnapped for ransom, Sam is shocked to discover that his own father, Vic (played by Dean Winters, who was Denis Leary’s brother on “Rescue Me”), may be involved. Sam was only 4 when his father abruptly skipped town under mysterious circumstances back in 1973. Was Sam sent back in time to stop his father from leaving his family? Vic agrees to cooperate with the squad in order to retrieve the missing baby, but the deeper Sam gets into his father’s world, the closer he gets to uncovering some dark, sordid truths, compelling him to face long suppressed childhood memories. His discovery culminates in a shattering face-off, after which Sam will never be the same. Don’t miss it!

(Photos: ABC/Patrick Harbron and John Clifford)

Now that she’s gone, the writers have cooked up something even more inane: Izzie’s frequent sightings of dead Denny. Her notions that her visions were real were fed by the ancient beliefs of one of her patients, an older Native America gentleman whom the writers dragged into the story and then had his old, damaged heart start working well. Iz’s hallucinations were somewhat plausible—until the end of last week’s “These Ties That Bind.” At Denny’s urging, Iz touched him, and her hand didn’t breeze through his body as if he were a ghost or imaginary. Her hand touched his chest AND IT STAYED THERE! Then the doomed duo started to kiss. The real killer was when previews from this week’s ep showed them kissing and undressing each other. GIVE ME A FREAKIN’ BREAK! Denny is dead, and there’s no logical and acceptable way that he could come back as his corporeal self.

That sort of nonsense worked on “Dallas,” when Patrick Duffy returned to the cast after his wife, Pam, dreamed the previous season and she—and we—were shocked to find Duffy’s Bobby all lathered up in their bedroom suite’s steamy shower on South Fork. Dallas was campy enough for us to let that slide. “Grey’s”? Not so much. (The previously dead Tony will inexplicably be back from the dead on the upcoming season of “24.” And I never did hear how “All My Children’s” Jesse’s was resurrected after 20 years!)

Then Dr. Virginia Dixon (Mary McDonnell of “Dances With Wolves” and “Battlestar Gallactica”) was hired to take Hahn’s place. The robotic doc starts rattling off statistics just like “Rain Man’s” autistic-savant Raymond Babbitt. How, I wondered, did someone like that get hired—wooed, actually—by Seattle Grace. At the end we learn that Dixon has Asberger syndrome, defined as a condition marked by impaired social interactions and limited repetitive patterns of behavior. Motor milestones may be delayed and clumsiness is often observed. Asperger syndrome is very similar to or may be the same as high functioning autism (HFA). Now, how in the world would someone with this kind of condition become a doctor who (literally, as a heart surgeon) holds patients’ lives in her hands. How would she effectively communicate with her coworkers? This could probably not happen in the real world.

Elsewhere, Sadie (Melissa George of “Alias” and “In Treatment”), an obnoxious longtime friend of Meredith’s, takes George’s intern place, and her presence doesn’t sit well with Cristina. Me neither. Then there was man-whore Sloan, who started hitting on Lexie, aka “Little Grey.” Ick.

This week, on “In The Midnight Hour,” Meredith, Cristina, and Bailey rescue dipsticks Lexie and Sadie’s when the dopey duo take on removing someone’s appendix by themselves. Hmmm. Is that yet another shark I see circling?

(Photos: ABC/Randy Holmes and Craig Sjodin)

The impetus for the “TVG” Q&A was the firing of actress Brooke Smith, who played gay doc Erica Hahn. Interestingly enough, Smith was brought in after Washington was kicked off the show for allegedly tossing gay slurs toward castmate T.R. Knight, who’s gay in “real life.” Washington then supposedly when into rehab to change his attidude.

“The rehab things was incorrect,” Washington told writer William Keck. “There’s no such thing as rehabilitation. I was given an opportunity to go to executive counseling so I would get away from the media. The world still thinks I taunted T.R. Knight and called him the F-word, which I didn’t. [The assumption was] that all of the problems would end if the bad guy, Isaiah Washington, was removed.

How would he “fix” an ailing “Grey’s”? “Bring Burke back,” said Washington.  He’d actually return? “Absolutely.” Washington also admitted that his career hadn’t been exactly going gangbusters since he had been axed from Seattle Grace. The whole incident (which, according to Washington, didn’t even happen) was blown so out of proportion.

Who would I rather see on the show—Hahn or Burke? Definitely Burke, because Washington’s character was far more interesting and integral to the main storylines! What about YOU? Which of the two characters would YOU rather have return?

Elsewhere, the Chief’s telling the residents that one of them would be, based on performance, awarded a solo surgery sent just about every one of them into a disgusting frenzy, with Yang leading the pack. (Maybe that’s why she was so oblivious to Sloan’s overtures?). Disgusting why, you ask? Because Izzie, Alex and Mer found the stash of unclaimed corpses and started hacking them apart for practice, like vultures tearing into carrion. Until they were eventually set straight in no uncertain terms by Bailey, the second-year residents’ ambitions drove them to act as if the dead people were there just for their own use and amusement. I wanted to kick their butts. It would have served the group right if one of them had whipped back the sheet covering one of them and discovered that the body belonged to a good friend or close relative of theirs. Perhaps THAT would have driven home Bailey’s appropriately harsh words to them.

Izzie’s world turned upside down when one of her patients turned out to be the man who SHOULD have gotten the heart had she not manipulated Denny’s situation, which led to multiple hallucinations of Denny. Don’t get me wrong: I’m ALWAYS thrilled to see the hunky likes of Jeffrey Dean Morgan, but as far as Iz imagining his likeness, it was important to the storyline but still kinda overall dopey. (With just one five-word sentence to utter-”Are you sure you’re OK?”- during the whole ep, it was the easiest money JDM ever made!) And attention rabid JDM fans: He’s been a “free man” for quite some time now, having broken off his engagement to Mary-Louise Parker a few months ago.

Hahn went on the warpath to get Izzie kicked out of the hospital for the Denny debacle. Perhaps her failed romance with Callie put her in a really bad mood after Hahn told Callie, “And you can’t ‘kind of’ be a lesbian.” But no worries: That was the last ep for Hahn’s off-screen alter ego, actress Brooke Smith. Creator Shonda Rhimes said Smith was leaving the show because “the magic and chemistry” in her relationship with Sara Ramirez’s Callie was unsustainable. (Perhaps while she’s gone, Smith will take time to straighten her icky crooked teeth.)

It takes a lot for me to shed a tear over a TV show, but I was darn close to it when the older gentleman, Ed, was giving his wife, Rose, chest compressions to keep her heart beating even though she was pretty much dead. Shepherd and Bailey showed great compassion during that scene, especially when Bailey took over for Ed and then Shepherd took over for Bailey. Then we had to watch Ed walk out of Seattle Grace all alone. Sniff.

This week, on “These Ties That Bind,” Meredith’s longtime friend Sadie becomes an intern at Seattle Grace. Her reception is less than gracious, however, when Mer’s cronies make no effort to warm up to her. Also, sniveling Lexie leads her fellow interns in secretive, unorthodox surgical training sessions, and new surgeon Virginia Dixon joins the OR, bringing stringent rules and order with her.

(Photos: ABC/Randy Holmes, Scott Garfield.)

During the investigation, Sam gets partnered with a man, Fletcher Bellow, who, in the future, was his professional mentor and surrogate father. That was fun because besides seeing Sam try to bind with a guy whom his 2008 self had known for many years but the current Fletcher didn’t know him from Adam, we found out that Fletcher’s arresting Sam at 17 got him interested in becoming a cop. Meanwhile, when lawyer Denise Watkins enters the scene and Sam knows that she and Fletcher will one day marry, he tries to get them romantically interested in one another and they are both at first quite dubious about the idea.

Some of Sam’s references to 2008: When he was about to use the term “African American” and when he rapped a Vanilla Ice song, thus giving him life-saving street cred in the eyes of the Black Liberation Army. Whoopi Goldberg was great as a woman playing a male DJ, Brother Lovebutter.

There went that creepy heart monitor again, when Sam saw a newspaper with the headline “Cop Killed In Line of Duty,” and his hearing someone say, “We’ll miss you, Sam.” That and when that mystery man and Keisha walked off together and the guy said, “We head your prayer, Sam,” strongly suggest that Sam is dead. The British version, however, had him in a coma. And at the end, lapsed-Catholic Sam prays for help to find his way home.

For anyone interested in the soundtrack, here are the songs and their artists: “Wild in the Streets” Garland Jeffreys; “I’m Gonna Keep on Loving You” Cool Blues; “Come on and Gettit” Marion Black; “He Keeps You” Boscoe; “Anywhere in Glory” The Mighty Indiana Travelers; “Everybody Is a Star” Sly and the Family Stone; and “Black and White” Three Dog Night. (I was, alas, familiar with only the last two.)

Though never a fan of Harvey Keitel, I think he’s added SO much to “Mars” in his role as Lt. Hunt. (The two shows I blog about—”Mars” and “Grey’s Anatomy”—each has a prominent character whose last name is “Hunt.”) Few other actors could pull off a character so gruff and occasionally unpleasant yet whom we are tempted to like.

This week, on “Tuesday’s Dead,” Sam finds it difficult to separate a life-and-death hostage situation at County Hospital from his own inexplicable circumstances. Freaked out by a phone call that sounds like his mother in 2008 and begging him to wake up, he and the rest of the 125 must diffuse a potentially explosive face-off in which a crazed gunman tries to force a doctor to reverse a dangerous operation on the gunman’s brother. (Photos: ABC/Eric Leibowitz, Patrick Harbron)

I laughed out loud when Rose asked Sam his name and he replied “Luke Skywalker.” Other references to the future: Sam’s calling Profaci “goodfellas,” telling singer Jim Croce to stay away from small planes, being in awe of Jets QB “Broadway” Joe Namath, calling Woody Allen’s “Sleeper” “a classic,” and telling a televised Richard Nixon, “Just resign, already. You KNOW you’re going to.”

Turned out that Lt. Hunt and the rest of the 125 were kind of in cahoots with Casso, because he came in handy as an informant. In the end, though, the gruff Hunt, after learning from Sam that Profaci & Co. had murdered three young women who had been forced to be their “girls on-call,” did the right thing and busted the lot of ‘em. He even tossed rolls of one hundred dollar bills-bribe money from Profaci-into a fire. OK, I can see the principle of his getting rid of the “dirty money,” but instead of burning it, he should have simply given the money away to some needy family or persons. Stoopid! At least put the bad money to good use!

Did you notice that Sam hears the loud beeps of a heart monitor when something from the future-such as the most recent ep’s Nirvana T-shirt-appears to Sam. That, to me, suggests that he’s banged up and in the hospital after having gotten hit by that car in 2008.

Windy had a good theory for Sam and his time predicament when she suggested that the universe might be telling him something. Cop Annie’s theory was icky, though: Sam is projecting desires to sleep with his mother. (But at least Annie got him to dance and smile.) Oedipus complex aside, it must have been so tough for Sam to resist giving his mother a huge, long hug. He knew, though, that his action would have freaked her out, so he showed amazing self-restraint.

One more thing: What’s the meaning behind those tiny robots going into Sam’s ear? Anyone?

On November 6, in “Things to Do in New York When You Think You’re Dead,” a racial confrontation is triggered between the blacks and Puerto Ricans when a girl’s body is discovered thrown from a rooftop. Working the case with Sam Tyler and the squad is the cop Sam considers his mentor in 2008, a much younger Fletcher Bellow, who doesn’t recognize his future protégé. But in the end, Sam must battle the racial attitudes in his own precinct, most notably those of Lt. Hunt and Det. Carling. An afro-wearing Whoopi Goldberg guest stars as DJ Brother Lovebutter.

(Photos: ABC/Patrick Harbron, Eric Leibowitz.)

On October 30’s “Life During Wartime,” the writers of the popular medical show addressed the controversial topic of the medical community’s practice of experimenting on live animals. Both sides were given airtime about the subject when Dr. Hunt, Seattle Grace’s new head of the trauma unit, had the second-year residents and the interns use live but sedated pigs to sharpen their skills in the ER. Before the ep started and at the half-hour break, the network announced that no animals had been harmed in the making of it. So, obviously, the six pigs were fake, but we all know that there are hundreds, if not thousands, of companies-among them pharmaceutical and those that make medical instruments-around the world that practice vivisection.

Moving on to the ep’s lighter sides, the life of 10-year-old patient Tori, who had a supposedly inoperable tumor in her abdomen, was saved with help from Meredith. Whodda thunk that her Anatomy Jane doll would have been instrumental in saving the girl’s life. Another important subject was addressed when Tori father told a sympathic Chief how hard it is dealing with the bureaucracy of hospitals and doctors.
Hahn was a crabby Debbie Downer (Bailey afterward told her she had been “a bully and a pain in the ass”) during the operation-and the whole day, as a matter of fact-because Callie didn’t share her excitement regarding her realization that Hahn, as she herself put it, is “extremely gay.”
Callie (twice, and in the on-call room) enlisted the help of Sloane to assure herself that she still enjoyed the company of men. Why, however, can’t she just accept the fact that she’s bisexual and needn’t be a die-hard homosexual or heterosexual?

Dippy Lexie spent the episode giving George the cold shoulder because he didn’t have reciprocal romantic feelings for her. In the end, though, she grew up and realized that it wasn’t HIS fault that she was suffering from a case of unrequited love. Haven’t we ALL been through that once? I long ago discovered the unpleasant reality that you can’t force someone to love you. Thank goodness she did, and will, we hope, not spend any more time on that fruitless effort.

Looks like Izzie and Alex have decided to be exclusively to one another. If I were Iz, I’d insist that man-whore Alex get tested for every sexually communicable disease on the planet.
Viewers were spared from the MerDer Sturm und Drang that accompanies most installments of “Grey’s.” It was a welcome break to not have to hear to them fight and then Meredith’s inevitable whining. Let’s hope that it stays that way for a while.

George’s vacant intern spot was plugged by a new doctor-in-training, Brian Spaulding. The writers actually gave the character a first AND last name, which leads me to believe that he will be part of storylines down the road.
This chapter of “Grey’s” included a Christmas-themed commercial, for some air freshener that lets your home smell as if gingerbread cookies had just come out of the oven. OCTOBER! Sure, it was the end of October, but couldn’t they even had the decency to wait two more days? Get ready, folks, the onslaught of Christmas ads has begun.

On Thursday, in “Rise Up,” the Chief’s announcement that a solo surgery will be awarded to the residents sends them into a competitive frenzy. (Cristina will No doubt be frothing at the mouth with that challenge!) Meanwhile, Derek turns to Bailey for advice when he feels Cristina is interfering in his relationship with Meredith, and Erica discovers a shocking connection between one of her surgical residents and a longtime patient.

(Photos: ABC/Eric McCandless; ABC/Scott Garfield.)

Sam got a kick out of seeing the “Counter Culture” preaching peace and love. (Little did they know that a war just like it—the one in Iraq—would take place three decades later.) Sam and his 125th coworkers worked on the case of a murdered Vietnam vet, the kind of crime that makes Lt. Hunt REALLY mad and obsessed with finding who did it.

Thank goodness for Windy, the gentle free spirit who’s a pal to Sam, makes him laugh, kind of keeps him grounded and listens to his apparently bizarre rants about his life in 2008, which, to anyone living in 1973, must have seemed like a zillion years away. Policewoman Annie Norris is also a great psychological help  to Sam, listening to what many would consider the ravings of a mad man. 

Some of Sam’s references to 2008: “Might as well be living in Iran,” “gaydar,” Rock Hudson’s being gay, “gaybashers,” Sam spoiling the ending to the movie “Soylent Green” by saying, “The crackers are made out of people.” Remember when you and your classmates would do what Annie did? Enjoying the intoxicating smell of the pieces of paper she had just run off the 1970s version of a Xerox machine? Too young to remember? For us “mature” viewers, that scene was a groovy blast from the past.

The beauty of “Life on Mars” is that it perfectly blends absorbing crime stories with Sam’s trying to blend into and figure out his inexplicable new retro-life. The cast and the stories are just as coarse and first-rate as they were on, say, “NYPD Blue,” except that “Mars” has a fascinating added twist and some humor.

Imagine how the flashbacks of his life as a child psychologically torture poor Sam. Most people would throw in the towel and run to the nearest psych ward. What was with the guru and the triangles on his forehead being as the ones on the building? And why did Sam find the Thom McCan box in which he kept his G.I. Joes and then it contained photos of another family? The box was in the apartment his family lived in and the EXACT hiding spot that Sam used!

I’m afraid to admit that there are some elements of this show that I don’t understand. Maybe we viewers aren’t expected to understand so we can sympathize with the confusing occurrences that Sam is experiencing?

Too bad the show used a “fake” version (hello, last summer’s “Swingtown!) of the song “Reflections Of My Life” by The Marmalade. The tune played such a large part of the episode’s soundtrack that it would have had more of an impact to hear the original. Then again, a portion of the viewers who weren’t even familiar with the show didn’t even the difference. But they can’t fool us who are from “back in the day.”

Didja notice the caveat in the commercial for the medication Triaminic? A warning at the bottom read:  “Don’t use to make your child sleepy.” Parents across America cringed with guilt.

(Photos: Courtesy of ABC.)

Doesn’t that adage that it’s a bad idea to mix business with pleasure turn out to be true nine times out of 10-and at Seattle Grace 10 out of 10? Witness the latest romance, between Callie and Hahn. After their first date, during which Callie couldn’t bring herself to give Hahn any “action” below the latter’s waist, she spent the next day dodging Hahn for fear of facing the subject. And then when Hahn put her hand on Callie’s butt at work, yowsa! Come to think of it, there was a lot of inappropriate sexual activity going on at SG last week-more than usual. There was the aforementioned hand on butt, there was Callie asking Sloan for his expertise (he calls it “The Sloan Method”—barf) on how to please a woman and they both dropped their drawers, and then at the end of the ep, Callie and Hahn started to ravage each other after Callie told Hahn to remove her pants so they could “try it again.”

And all of it was in public rooms, such as a break room or an exam room. Just think what would have happened had the Chief walked in on them. OK, he’s a TV character and he’s not going to actually fire some of the lead characters. But if this had been real life, and, say you worked at a law firm, and one of the firm’s partners caught you and a coworker “doing to the deed” in the conference room, chances are that you’d both get at least put on probation, or maybe even get pointed to the nearest Department of Labor’s unemployment line.

In the opening scenes, Little Lexie “Lexiepedia” continues to get more and more pathetic. First she buys all this stuff for George’s locker to congratulate him on having passed the intern exam. Then, in one of the closing scenes, she hysterically rants to Geo about how he can’t tell that she’s crazy about him. Meanwhile, he just stands there looking clueless. The guy obviously has no romantic feelings for her. My fear is that he’ll give into her childish tirade and pretend—to her AND HIMSELF—that he likes her but just didn’t realize it until now.

OK, I know I’m being Debbie Downer here, but would it actually be possible for Bailey to snare her second-year residents and THAT DAY assign them to the chain-reaction kidney transplants? Don’t things like that require extensive preparation and run-throughs for all involved? You don’t just through them in to the pack of wolves.

Elsewhere, Cristina is still treating her interns like crap, which is doing no good for neither her nor the group she’s trying to teach. If the preview for next week’s episode is any indication, her cold little heart will go aflutter—and maybe she won’t torture her interns—after she and Dr. Hunt suck face. Here’s “TV Guide’s” scoop on the military doctor, who will soon be dubbed “McHunky.” He will be the head of trauma surgery at SG’s ER. It won’t be a permanent gig for actor Kevin McKidd, and Dr. Hunt won’t exactly exhibit the disposition of Mother Teresa, but as long as he keeps Cristina entertained….

This week, on “Life During Wartime”(9:00-10:01 p.m., ET), the Chief gives Bailey new power and new responsibility, to help her become the best general surgeon at Seattle Grace. He also hands her the challenge of removing a young girl’s inoperable tumor. Meanwhile, Dr. Hunt challenges both the attending doctors’ methods and the residents’ surgical abilities.   (Photos: Courtesy of ABC.)

And yea that George passed his intern test! Now he can join the his pals as a “real” doctor and not feel like the loser among them. And once again, wimpy and ditsy Lexie tried to spark a romantic rise out of Geo by getting him to go out with her to celebrate. He was, however, more interested in telling Mer and Izzie his good news. Get the hint, honey! It ain’t happening!

Geo was a total sweetheart for taking young Duncan, the kid who was there for a heart operation, under his wing by making him feel more comfortable with being in an operating room. In fact, Geo turned the Duncan ON to operations when he accidentally brought him into the room when Mr. Grandy’s face was pulled down during his brain-tumor operation. The lesson: Kids love gross stuff, so if you want to turn a fear into a fascination, gross ‘em out with something that’s worse than their own situation.

(And by the way, isn’t thinking of someone with his face pulled down below his nose a tough concept to, pardon the expression, wrap your head around. You ARE your face-it’s about 90 percent of how others recognize you and how you express your feelings-but it’s also to be de-faced, like Mr. Grandy during his operation.)

It’s no wonder that Cristina became obsessed with the “magical world” of the dermatology department. As opposed to her pressure-packed and back-stabbing world of surgery, the derm folks got massages, were genuinely nice to each other and weren’t running on fumes due to sleep deprivation. Then again, dear Cristina, think of some of the gross things the derm department must deal with: icky skin disorders, nasty acne inflammations, boils, and, as that Tegrin shampoo TV commercial described it, “eczema, seborrhea and the heartbreak of psoriasis.” You know what they say, Dr. Yang: The grass is always greener on the other side.” But hey-the overworked and stressed-out folks in the surgical unit get to spend a week in the happy world of dermatology.

Didja ever notice how easily new Seattle Grace patients get expensive tests, and the patients don’t flinch at the possible costs to them? Like when Izzie order a CT scan for Mr. Grandy because she thought he may have a neurological disorder. There’s never any talk about pre-approval from the patients’ insurance companies. And CT scans are expensive!

Couldn’t you see it coming that if Derek moved in with Mer AND Izzie and Alex that Derek’s underlings would start to blur the relationship between Derek as their housemate and Derek as their superior at SG? McDreamy made it quite clear, however, when he curtly reminded Iz that at work she and he can’t be all buddy-buddy.

Tonight, on There’s No ‘I’ in Team,” Bailey heads up a team of surgeons performing a “domino procedure,” in which each surgery hinges on the one preceding it; Derek gets sole credit for the brain tumor study he did with Meredith, which should—and rightfully so—bug Mer to no end; Lexie goes to great lengths to have George notice her romantically (good luck with that one); and McSteamy counsels a desperate Callie on the ways of love.

(Photos: Eric McCandless/ABC; Randy Holmes/ABC.)

The scene where Sam, Ray and Hunt chased down criminal Kim Trent was fun, but was anyone else disturbed by the sight of Harvey Keitel in black Speedos? Did you notice how Sam outran his colleagues, probably because America’s physical-fitness mindset—especially in the jogging/running area—hadn’t yet caught on by 1973.

Keitel, a movie vet, is proving to be a valuable asset to this cast. He’s the perfect actor to play the beyond-gruff Lt. Hunt, who does what many people in today’s climate of political correctness wouldn’t dare to: smack around a guy he knows is guilty and cutting down on inevitable beauracratic red tape by, uh, trimming a few corners. OK, so calling policewoman Annie Norris “No Nuts” in front of everyone else was totally rude, but I’ll overlook that one for now.
Meanwhile, Sam was struggling with “real, unreal” Sam while looking into a cracked mirror. He then saw a flat-screen TV and Maya in the reflection of a window. When he turned around, they were gone. Poor Sam likened his situation to “a sick cosmic joke that everyone seems to be in on but me.” His free-spirited neighbor Windy provided some light moments for our psychologically tortured hero when she brought him lasagna (OK, so it was laced with pot….) and got him to dance.

The most amusing pieces of time-related dialogue: when Trent said to Sam, “All hail the Nixon administration,” and Sam replied under his breath, “Don’t get too attached;” when Sam likened the smell of Trent’s jail cell to the Guantanamo Bay detention camp in Cuba and dim bulb Det. Chris Skelton said, “I’ve never been to Puerto Rico;” a mention of Elvis four years before his death; the Charlie perfume theme song; and Gilbert O’Sullivan’s song “Get Down.”

Here what I DON’T UNDERSTAND! What does that little contraption that scoots around the floor have to do with anything—especially when one turned up in the heroin shipment? Someone, please explain.

This show proves that it’s not relying on a one-trick pony—a 2008 guy dealing with being hurtled back to 1973 part—to hold its audience. The cop storyline was also a solid part of this episode, and young June (Heather Matarazzo of “Now and Again”) provided a twist at the end when it turned out that she was infatuated with Kim Trent and helped him carry out his robberies.

And I must agree with that weird old woman when she told Sam that he looks like Steve McQueen. I think he also resembles Aiden Quinn. Anyone else?

P.S.: Is it just a coincidence that the lead character in the TV series “Quantum Leap,” which also involved time traveling, was named Sam?

This Thursday, on “My Maharishi is Bigger Than Your Maharishi,” the murder of a returning Vietnam vet has Lt. Hunt outraged, which won’t be a pretty sight. As Sam and the squad’s team of detectives explore the circumstances surrounding the homicide, Tyler is sent down a mysterious path that may provide clues about his own family’s past and why he is back in 1973. (Photos courtesy of ABC.)

As for the usually ditsy Lexie, she, through intense research, discovered what was truly wrong with the patient Mr. Patmore, who’d been in pain for so long: A nerve in his nose was inflamed. But then Mr. Patmore got moved to Mercy West for the operation and we didn’t even find out if the procedure cured him.

On the romance front, Derek wanted Izzie and Alex to move out of Meredith’s house, but all was well in the end when Derek decided that Iz and Al could stay. Meredith quit her shrink, but the shrink and Cristina had didn’t think it was a good choice. Neither did I.

Nothing turned out well for Shelly, the cheerful and hopeful 32-year-old with colon cancer. During her stay at Seattle Grace it was discovered that her cancer was worse than suspected. That storyline was downright depressing. Why couldn’t the show have made her prognosis a bit more optimistic instead of miserable? George retook his intern exam, and we found out that—call the wire services!—Derek’s hair makes Meredith happy.

Sound like this week’s ep will be a bit more interesting. In “Brave New World,”  Mer freaks out (but let’s face it—it doesn’t take that much to rattle her to her skinny little bones) when Derek discovers her mother’s old diary in the house. Callie frets as she prepares for her first official date with Erica, and Cristina stumbles into a part of the hospital that neither she nor her fellow residents have seen before. Maybe the morgue?

Last week I saw, courtesy of NetFlix, Patrick Dempsey’s most recent feature film, “Made of Honor.” Though the movie was lame and formulaic, it also starred Kevin McKidd, the season premiere’s military doctor Owen Hunt, who’s supposedly returning to “Grey’s.” So the two actors already knew each other before McKidd made is way to Seattle Grace. Dempsey has also been busy doing voiceovers for TV commercials: Mazda, All State insurance and Mississippi.org. As if he needs the money?

(Photos courtesy of ABC.)

OK, so “Life on Mars,” which debuted last night on ABC, is derived from a British show of the same name, but that’s far enough from Hollywood for me. Jason O’Mara headlines as Sam Tyler, a present-day NYPD detective who, after getting hit by a speeding car, is thrust back in time to 1973, when he would have been 3 years old. Same job title, same Sam. The differences? He’s a transfer from a police department upstate New York, everyone’s clothes, the forensic technology, and the social and sexual attitudes.

The show’s two main supporting cast members—if you want to describe these notables as
“supporting” — are Michael Imperioli (“The Soprano”), as Sam’s cynical and scruffy partner, and film vet Harvey Keitel, as the violence-prone and ill-tempered head of homicide. And we can’t count out filmdom’s Gretchen Mol (“3:10 to Yuma”) as an Annie Norris, an ambitious policewoman yearning to be considered more than a token and/or the scullery maid at the 125th squad.

With a gritty look and tone similar to “NYPD Blue,” “Mars” is set in a reeling and roiling Manhattan. The debut episode was called “Out Here In the Fields” (yes, The Who’s “Baba O’Riley” did pop up at one point in the show. P.S.: For the longest time, I thought that song was called “Teenage Wasteland.”) and didn’t shove the 1970s in our faces like last summer’s dopey “Swingtown.” It was more subtle, such as seeing a guy cross the street with a transistor radio glued to his ear, Sam’s using a rotary phone.

One exchange between characters reminded me of a scene from “Back to the Future,” where Marty asks the 1950s soda shop clerk for a Tab, and the guy replies something like, “What tab? You haven’t bought anything.” It was when Sam ordered a diet Coke and the bartender answered back that Coke doesn’t come in “diet{ form.  Then there was when Sam yelled, “I need my cell” and the man he’s talking to says, “You need to sell what?” Then there was, “Where’s my computer?” and a squad mate chortles, “Like Hal from ‘2001: A Space Odyssey’?” But the real blow-us-away moment was when Sam looked up in awe at the Twin Towers. That one gave me the chills. But it was pretty funny when Sam and Annie walked into a record store and Sam sweeps out his arms and tells her, “One day it will all be digital!”

Poor Sam doesn’t know where he is, as far as if he’s dead, in a coma, time-traveling, dreaming…? (In the British version, it turned out that he’d been in a coma.) Creepiness ensues when a doctor on TV seems to be talking directly to him and about his grave condition. Sam also hears his 2008 girlfriend Maya (“Cosby” kid Lisa Bonet) talking to him on the police radio.

As for the storyline itself, Sam’s 2008 case—catching a serial killer—cleverly seeped into 1973 as Sam tracked down the murderer, then about only 8 years old, and, he hopes, stopped him from becoming a serial killer by deglamourizing the boys image a deranged psycho neighbor whom the boy idolized.

The “Mars” press material says that each episode will have its own crime to deal with, but it’s certain that each one will also have Sam hearing and seeing stuff from his 2008 life and wonder what the hell is happening to himself. Also let it be known that David Kelley—a guy with a track record of successes—was the series’ original producer. The new producers helmed the dull “October Road.” Perhaps they’ll make up for that bore with this brand-new “Life.”

(Photos: courtesy of ABC.)

As for why he’s gone back in time, Sam doesn’t know if he’s in a coma, dreaming or what. While he tries to solve his own time-traveling predicament, he’s partnered up with scruffy and snarky Det. Ray Carling, played by “The Sopranos’” Michael Imperioli, a loose cannon who feels threatened by Sam. Their boss is the no-nonsense Lt. Gene Hunt, Harvey Keitel in this first television series. Sam will find a friend in policewoman Annie Norris (Gretchen Mol), whose being a woman relegates her to doing the precinct’s scut work and being subjected to blatant comments from the guys.

Each episode will have its own crime to solve, and Sam will search for his 2008 partner/girlfriend Bonet. Now, looking for Maya makes no sense to me. While Sam was somehow hurtled back 35 years, chances are that she wasn’t hurtled—or wasn’t even born yet! Logistics aside, “Life on Mars” will be a fun ride if it’s as enjoyable as the pilot episode (which I’ve seen). And going back to the ‘70s—my favorite decade–on “Mars” has GOT to be better than going back on “Swingtown,” the tepid 13-ep summer series made on the cheap and featuring sexaholics—male and female—occasionally doing things that should be left to cable, not broadcast TV. I should know. I had to watch every installment. (Photos: Courtesy of ABC )

Only actors as talented and subtle as Peters and Baker could have pulled of that episode with such skill and aplomb. Most other female thespians would have over-acted the scenes, turning the women’s reactions into maudlin fits. Hartley, unfortunately, got the raw end of that deal, having to just lie in bed and ask the same questions  over and over because due to a brain hemorrhage that had left her with a memory that lasted 30 seconds.

It takes a lot to impress our snarky Dr. Yang, but she was surely impressed by staid military doctor Owen Hunt, especially when he, stapled his own leg gash and then with no warning, yanked the sharp, fallen  ice cycle from her torso. (Scotsman Kevin McKidd slipped just a tad with his American accent.) Hunt turned down the Chief’s offer for a full-time job at Seattle Grace, saying that he must finish his tour of duty, but we will being seeing more of him.

While I am a Yang fan, I don’t, however, admire how she manages her interns—with intimidation. It’s not good for their moral and has the exact opposite effect on their self-esteem and learning capabilities. She obviously doesn’t know that you must earn loyalty, not demand it. A little bit of kindness and respect towards her interns would go a long way for both Yang and her group of interns. Let her not forget all sucking-up she did with Dr. Hahn.

Elsewhere at Seattle Grace, nurse Rose was on a streak of revenge, giving Derek the post-break-up stink eye. She then had the temerity to “accidentally” slice his hand as she was handing him a surgical knife in the operating room. But all was well in the end when she came to her senses and mea culpa’ed Derek and told him she was moving to the pediatrics unit.

Mer’s inability to make an emotional decision by herself hasn’t changed from last season. She’s such a wimp that she insisted that Cristina give her opinion on Mer’s suggestion that Derek move in with her. Give me a break. Cristina gave her an honest opinion—that she didn’t think it was such a swift idea–and then had to make a 180 at the end, just so Mer would feel better about the idea. Mer, honey, grow a backbone! So it’s no wonder that dorky Lexie is as skittish as a squirrel: It’s genetic, and I hope George—should he ever realize that Lexie has the hots for him—keeps her at bay with a 10-foot pole.

I thoroughly enjoyed Izzie’s fantasy with Denny. Any scenes of Jeffrey Dean Morgan are always welcome. Dang, they shouldn’t have killed that guy off! I don’t watch The CW’s “Supernatural,” but I read that in an upcoming ep, perhaps this week’s, one of the main characters will meet his dead parents. Yea! More of JDM! 

On October 9, in “Here Comes the Flood,” a Seattle Grace plumbing leak becomes a deluge and wreaks havoc; the Chief attempts to implement new teaching policies; George tries to retake his residency exam; and McDreamy hopes to kick out Meredith’s housemates. Also, poor shrink Dr. Wyatt (Amy Madigan) must continue to listen to Meredith ramble and whine. (Photos: Ron Tom and Eric McCandless/ABC)

The codependent sweethearts, second-year resident Meredith and attending neurosurgeon Derek (aka “Deredith” or “Merek”), will finally cement their relationship. Sure, it will have its ups and downs, but they will live together and make a firm commitment to each other. “Meredith will still show huge signs of fear and commitment phobia,” Mer’s off-screen alter ego Ellen Pompeo told “TV Guide.”

We’ll see the repercussions—good and/or bad—of that season’s smooching between Callie and Erica and then George and Lexie. Lexie turns into a smitten kitten while a Geo is clueless about her feelings for him.

After a year recuperating from her messy, cut-short romance with Burke, feisty Cristina Yang, my fave character, will find her heart throbbing for a new doc, Owen Hunt. The former military MD will be played by hunky Scotsman Kevin McKidd, who starred in last season’s short-lived drama “Journeyman” and played a centurion in HBO’s innovative series “Rome.” Granted, “Journeyman” was pretty dopey, but McKidd was great in it.

There’s already McDreamy and McSteamy, so the Seattle Grace gals are bound to give Dr. Hunt is own “Mc” moniker. The actor’s name already starts with “Mc” and Hunt is dashing and masculine, so it won’t be McKid. How about McHunky? He’s brawny and cute, and “Hunky” sounds somewhat similar to “Hunt.”

It will be interesting to see how well McKidd pulls off an American accent. Out of all the accents in countries where English is the first language, English with a heavy Scottish brogue sounds like gobbledygook to me. Seriously! I have seen movies set in Scotland and usually end up totally frustrated because I understood only 20 percent (at best) of the dialogue. I scream, “That’s English?” One time, I even saw a Scottish movie that had English subtitles, and believe me, those subtitles came in mighty handy.

Anyway, it’s great that the “normal” TV schedule is finally getting under way following the writers’ strike and the summer’s entrails. Finally, quality shows that we can enjoy and get absorbed in, unlike, say, the likes of the cheesy “Swingtown!” (Photos courtesy of ABC ).

Janet took a shot at being the writer behind the newspaper’s Dear Abby-ish column, Dear Trudy, which allows nosey-Parker Janet to do what she does best: tell other people how to live their lives. And Roger finally got a much-needed got a job offer…but it’s in Cincinnati. Over at the Deckers’, Trina told Janet that she is—oops!—preggers but is sure that Tom is  the father. Then, summer-school teacher Doug turned down the staff-teacher gig at Lakeview high because he didn’t want to have to hide his rob-the-cradle romance with 12th-grader Laurie.

Meanwhile, the episode contained shameless product placements for Radio Shack, Coke, Yoo-Hoo and Life cereal. And, of course, the tally of original versions vs. the fake versions of the soundtrack’s songs: Real: “No Secrets,” “Jackie Blue,” “We’re All Alone” (Boz Scaggs’, not the heinous remake by Rita Coolidge), “One Toke Over the Line,” “Dance with Me,” “You Are the Woman” and “Love Is Alive.” Quite an impressive line-up! Fake: “Beach Baby” and “Sooner or Later.”

“Swingtown’s” season finale, “Take It to the Limit,” took place over Labor Day Weekend 1976. A severe earthquake in Guatemala City had Doug on the next plane down there to help with relief efforts. Laurie was to go with him, but, for her own good, he split without her. (Riiiiight—as if her parents would have been fine with her skipping out of school and running down to Central America….) And then there was Tom and Trina’s clambake, which was actually filmed on location at a beach. The beach was a welcome relief to all the scenes shot at the couple’s pool, which was actually a cheesy in-studio set.

I never found the storyline involving the Miller and Thompson kids particularly interesting, but I was glad that Sam’s lush of a mother, Gail, finally went off to rehab. But will six weeks of it be enough for her to get off the sauce?

In the end, Roger realized what a drag Janet is and wound up sleeping with Susan (Janet’s soon-to-be-ex-best friend) at the airport hotel when he couldn’t get on the plane to find a house in Cincinnati, and Bruce moved forward his romance with Melinda. And Trina, reading a Dr. Spock book, decided to keep the bun in her oven. How ironic that, when all was said and done, Trina and Tom were the couple who stayed together.

And, of course, the tally of original versions vs. the fake versions of the soundtrack’s songs: Real: “The Boys Are Back In Town,” “Show Me the Way” “You Keep Me Runnin’,” “The Things We Do For Love,” “Someone Saved My Life Tonight” and “Take It to the Limit.”

If “Swingtown’s” tepid reviews and ratings were any indication, the summer of ’08 will be its first and last season of any kind. (Photos by Eric McCandless/CBS.)

In her new job, Janet is proving to be the perfect employee—a downright brown-noser, in fact—at the newspaper “The Daily Sun.” Were any of us surprised that she can type 100 words per minute? And then that she gets a full-time job? However, I must say bravo to her for standing up to the creepy editor about his patting her on the butt.

After Susan and Roger bump into each other at the supermarket, she helps him make chicken Kiev and you could have cut the sexual tension between them with a buzz saw. Especially after she ‘fesses up that she phoned from the country cabin looking for him. Then, just as Roger is about to spill his guts to Susan, Janet puts the kibosh on the fun by walking in.

It was SO apparent that Rog is getting bored with Janet by his telling his son to never rush into a romance or settle for someone. He forgot to add, ”...as I did with your mother.”

Miss Thang (aka Laurie) and Doug are still going strong. I took a good look at Mr. Stevens and realized that he’s a darn good-looking guy. And he’d be even better looking in “real life,” without that dopey ‘70s hairstyle.

White men CAN dance, as proved by Tom and Bruce at that wild  nightclub that belongs to a friend of Tom. And who wasn’t shocked when SUSAN asked TRINA for a Qaalude? I don’t endorse the use of recreational pills, but she did have a good time with it, as did Bruce and the Deckers. The foursome then retired to the Deckers’ pool for some wild group sex.

And now for the real vs. copycat tally: Real: “I’ll Take You There,” “Boogie Fever” (I think), “Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow” and, thank God, “Get Down Tonight.” Can you imagine the hack job a cover version would have been? There’s NO replacing K.C. and the Sunshine Band. Fake:  “It’s So Nice to be With You” and “Reflections of My Life.” Then, there were some songs that weren’t on long enough or were too muffled for ID.

Next Friday, in “Surprise!”, Roger and Susan plan a  birthday party for Janet, but more than partying goes on. Janet decides to loosen up a little and bring her new (and most likely only) bud at the newspaper, Henry, to the soiree, an action that Roger, who’s finally realizing what a drip his wife is, will probably be glad about — especially since, as he tells Susan, he thinks he’s falling in love with her. Meanwhile, Trina says she’s got a bun in the oven. My main question is if that little swinger has even an inkling as to who the father is. If she had been on the Pill, no one would have gotten her pregnant.

If she had been using other, less reliable methods—such as a diaphragm, condoms, spermacides, an IUD or, God forbid, the rhythm method—it’s anyone’s guess. She might never know until paternity tests using DNA come along! The show’s season — and, I assume, series — finale is on Sept. 5.

(Photo by Sonja Flemming/CBS.)

Then Janet, under the delusion that Tom has reciprocle feelings, decides that she must set him straight: A romance can’t ever happen. Tom, being a nice guy, humors her. I, not being so nice, rolled my eyes. Let us see what Janet’s future holds when she signs up with an employment agency to get a job. (How about a position in a Tupperware store…if there were such a thing?)

And then there’s Susan, who has already proved that she’s got a mind that is open to at least a bit of experimenting. She even did some phone-flirting with Roger! And later, Roger called Susan at the cabin and is totally bummed that she didn’t pick up the phone in time.
And how about that thinks-she-knows-it-all minx Laurie? As they say, youth is wasted on the young. She was lucky that, while hitch-hiking it away from the family’s country cabin, that she was picked up by an innocuous senior citizen lady instead of some big-time perv guy who could have raped her—or worse.

I can see why Susan and Bruce, who had intercepted her at the diner, eventually let Laurie take off with Doug, with Susan first giving Laurie her semi-blessing and Bruce giving her some cash. That Laurie is one headstrong chick. And there’s that adage: If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it’s yours forever; if it doesn’t, it never was. Corny, yes, but there is some truth to it.

The installment ended up with Tom and Trina reverting to their old ways by “swinging” with another couple. A leopard can’t change its spots.

The weekly background-song count: Real: “Disco Lady” and “Running on Empty.” Can you imagine how horrible it would have sounded if they had used a Jackson Browne sound-alike to sing “Running on Empty?” It would have put a kabosh on the whole meaning the episode and its relation to the song. I’d like to add that the album “Running on Empty” wasn’t released until 1977. Perhaps the single came out in 1976, or were the writers hoping that we wouldn’t notice? And there were three songs I couldn’t quite ID.

As for tomorrow’s show, it’s called “Get Down Tonight.” See Tom do his best imitation—complete with the white three-piece suit and his hand pointing up—of John Travolta in “Saturday Night Fever.” Then again, the iconic film didn’t premiere until well into the next year, on December 14, 1977. Go figure. Was Tom a trendsetter, or were the writers hoping that we wouldn’t notice? The Millers enjoy a night of line-dancing with the Deckers, and Janet starts a temp job with a local newspaper. Working at a newspaper myself, I will be very interested to see how that situation unfolds. Also, tomorrow may be the “Swingtown’s” swan song. It was a summer replacement series, and next week a pre-season football game is in its time slot. I can’t say that I will miss this show. But I can say that I enjoyed hearing some my old faves on its soundtrack. (Photos by Monty Brinton/CBS.)

If you’re really into this show, I encourage you to go to cbs.com, where it’s fun to see the actors who play Bruce, Susan, Roger and Janet in modern-day clothes. The biggest surprise was Miriam Shor, who plays annoying drip Janet. Turns out that her real-life appearance is quite different, starting with her hair. And Shor pointed out how much of a dork Janet is, which in some twisted way, made me dislike Janet less. Meanwhile, no matter what Grant Show wears today, that mustache can’t release him from that ‘70s look. Lana Parrilla and her Trina look similar—gorgeous—on- and off-screen.

But moving on to the most recent ep, Laurie and Doug finally got busted by Susan and Bruce, thank goodness, sending Daddy into a well-deserved rage. Our move into this house has screwed up our family, he yells, and it has to stop. OK, so let’s see if he can bring Susan’s piqued interest in swinging to a halt.

Everytime Janet loosens up a bit—like by going to the Pendulum Club, she soon falls back into her dullsville rut. But I think Trina is successfully uncovering at least a part of Janet’s wild side, which we all know lurks someone inside her. After all, didn’t she finally look decent while wearing that sassy red dress she borrowed from Trina?

What a hoot seeing Sam, BJ and their friends playing Pong. Compared to today’s video games, it’s like an iPhone vs. two cans connected by a string.

And now for the weekly tally on which songs on the soundtrack were from the original artists or fakes: I must say that there were 3 or 4 I didn’t recognize or hear well enough to ID. Nonetheless, Real: “Don’t Go Breaking My Heart,” “Crimson & Clover” and “Let’s Get It On.” Fake: “Mi Corazon” (I not sure if that’s the song’s official name).

This Friday, on “Running on Empty,” Bruce and Susan escape to the family cabin to reconnect with each other and their kids. Janet and Roger see a therapist, and Tom and Trina make the most of their new closed-married status. (Photo courtesy of CBS.)

“Swingtown’s” most recent ep, “Puzzlerama,” produced a bit of swinging. Trina’s game, Puzzlerama ‘76 (Tom called it “Truth or Dare on a rollercoaster”) got married Bruce to make out with swingle (meaning, swinging single) coworker Melinda next to the downtown newsstand. Tom spotted them but, to his credit, made it so Mrs. Bruce didn’t when they were also on the scavenger hunt around the train station.

I don’t quite understand what the show’s writers are doing with the Millers’ slutty, alcoholic neighbor Gail. She pops up every now and then, but her storyline never really goes anywhere except to show that she’s a rotten mother.

Meanwhile, Janet, who’s dorkiness is QUITE irksome, goes postal on Roger, to which he tells her that things always have to be perfect in her life and that it’s not easy having a conversation with her. FINALLY—someone tells bland Jan that she needs to loosen up.

And lastly, Susan tells Bruce that they should keep no secrets from each other. Boy, he’s got a whopper now that he swapped major spit with Melinda. Better to follow the adage “Don’t ask, don’t tell,” Brucie boy.

“Puzzlerama’s” original vs. fake artist song tally had an impressive array of “real” songs. Originals: Midnight at the Oasis,” Band of Gold,” “I’m Your Venus,” “More, More, More (How Do You Like It?),” “Saturday Night” (woo hoo—The Bay City Rollers!) and “Rollercoaster.” Remakes: “Billy, Don’t Be A Hero” and “Heaven Must Be Missing an Angel.”

Tonight, on “Swingus Interruptus,” despite having deciding to keep their marriage closed for now, Tom and Trina agree to join Susan, Bruce, Janet and Roger at a particularly racey club, where Roger gets some unwanted attention from a predatory woman. Go, Raj! (Photo courtesy of CBS.)

What a shame that Roger lost his job, but we can only hope that his being laid off will turn into a blessing, as he wasn’t crazy about selling insurance anyway. I was pleasantly surprised that prissy drip Janet was supportive of Roger after he became unemployed. I was expecting a full-blown hissy fit.

Kudos to Laurie for getting straight A’s in summer school. But she gets a D in common sense when it comes to her budding physical relationship with her teacher, Doug. And Doug gets an F- in decision-making for romancing a girl who couldn’t be older than 17. So what will happen if he takes the permanent job at Lakeview High come fall? His and Laurie’s romance becomes public—and it WILL, someday, somehow. And then, guess what! He’ll get fired (and arrested if she’s underage) and she’ll be ridiculed by her peers and Susan and Bruce will ground her until she’s 30. It was so telling when, while Doug was playing softball and Laurie and others were watching from the sidelines, his friend Liz asked Laurie, “Grad or undergrad?” Imagine her appalled reaction if Laurie had included “in high school” to her response of “undergrad.”

Could the living room wallpaper that Susan chose have been ANY more hideous? The stuff she tore down a few episodes ago was more attractive. And along the subject of decorating, I think the producers should shoot the scenes at the Deckers’ pool at a real outdoor pool, instead of that phony-looking indoor set.

I was disappointed when fellow stock trader Melinda hit on Bruce. I was hoping it wouldn’t come to that, that Melinda would have enough dignity to break the sexist stereotype of “horny professional female who wants to bed a coworker.”

Weekly original vs. fake song tally: Real: The Average White Band’s “Pick Up the Pieces.” Fake: Linda Ronstadt’s “Heat Wave.” Lobo’s “I’d Love You to Want Me.” Undetermined: CSNY’s “Our House,” but forced to make a decision, I’d say a darn-good imitation; “Dazz,” by Brick. Unless a specific song pertains to the storyline, don’tcha think that with all the songs from back then to choose from that the producers wouldn’t have to use any fakes?

Did you notice the warning at the bottom of the Quiznos ad? It said, “Do not attempt,” meaning “Don’t bite into a roll of coins like the guy in our commercial is doing.” I hope it was there only for legal-liability reasons. Otherwise, they obviously think that we, the general public, are stupid enough to do such a thing. (Actually, I DO know a few people who’d be dopey enough to try it….)

This Thursday, on “Puzzlerama,” Roger and Susan, Bruce and Melinda, and Tom and Janet (interesting pairings, I must say!) team up for Trina’s annual Puzzlerama party, where the neighborhood’s darkest secrets are the clubes for the game. Sounds like they’re all just asking for trouble! (Photo courtesy of CBS.)

Do you think that Tom and Trina EVER consider sexually transmitted diseases? AIDs may have been on the far horizon, but other venereal diseases—such as herpes, genital warts, chlamydia and the clap—were certainly front and center, and there’s never been mention of the horny duo protecting themselves against it. As for a threesome, “sloppy seconds” isn’t for me. If I’d been Luke (above, dancing with Trina) or Tom last week, I’d have gotten grossed out by taking turns kissing Trina. As far as swapping spit goes, Luke and Tom might as well have been kissing each other.

What a bummer that Roger (during his effort to get a well-deserved raise and promotion) got laid off. How coincidental that many people in 2008 are now facing the same dilemma.

The whole thing with Laurie and her summer school teacher, Doug Stevens, got ickier and ickier. The kicker was when she visited him at the school as he was packing up his things, he pointed out that he was no longer her teacher (implying that it was OK for them to start a relationship—or at least fool around a bit), and then they started kissing and—wait for it—taking off their clothes. Here’s the thing: If he’s a teacher, I assume he went to grad school, which would mean that he’s at least 23. Laurie is around 16. That’s seven years. Seven significant years. That means that Doug can’t find anyone his own age and is resorting to consorting with a high school girl. Pathetic and creepy!

Original-song tally: Yes: Neil Diamond’s “Cracklin’ Rosie” and The Captain + Tennille’s “You’d Better Shop Around.” No: “Rock the Boat” and “Do You Want to Dance.”

And here’s my big question of the day: Is it REALLY possible to remove red wine stains from a white suit using Sweet ‘n’ Low? I’ll have to give it a try.

Tonight, in “Heatwave,” Roger turns to Susan (above, sweating it out together) for advice after losing his job, and Bruce—no, not Bruce!—gets cozy with his only female coworker, Melinda, who, thank goodness, has a lot more brains than her cavemen colleagues realize. (Photos courtesy of CBS.)

The first installment will feature a Justice League reunion, with Green Arrow, Black Canary (sorry, I still think she’s silly and dull) and Aquaman, who go to the rescue of Clark (below, in his Fortress of Solitude). Actor Justin Hartley’s Green Arrow/Oliver Queen will be back at least 12 times, says “TVG,” because fans are, understandably so, crazy about him. (He IS cute, right?) Also, Queen will have an unusual relationship with a fishy new character Tess Mercer, who’s looking for an MIA Lex.

A speaking of The Bald One, his off-screen alter-ego, Michael Rosenbaum, didn’t sign on for another year but may be back in guest appearances. Meanwhile, Clark will get a job at “The Daily Planet” (with no college education? Not likely in real life) and head closer to his future as Superman.

It will be interesting to see how the series handles the departures of two main characters, Lex and Lana—and that’s not even counting that Martha and Jonathan Kent are long gone. All four played a big role in Clark’s life. Maybe this will prove to be a big challenge for Tom Welling, who will have more acting to do and certainly appear on-screen a heck of a lot more than he did in the 2007-08 season. The countdown begins (photo courtesy of The CW).

Meanwhile,  Janet told hubby Roger, “Last time I checked it’s not Friday,” (and EVERY OTHER Friday, at that) when he suggested they do a quickie one morning. Then, after seeing “Deep Throat” at the fundraiser, her dander gets up and she and Rog do it on the kitchen floor. Yowsa!

I’m not saying that Janet should ditch her Tupperware parties, make a 180 and turn into a Trina clone, but it’s nice that she’s loosening up a bit.  And speaking of Trina, the ep’s first scene, where she and Tom talked about their strong feelings for each other, brought some humanity and depth  to a couple whom I previously considered just shallow sex machines.  And I was glad that Tom passed on co-pilot Rick’s offer to do coke in the Tokyo hotel. Nothing good ever comes from doing that crap—ESPECIALLY when you’re flying a jet full of passengers!

Elsewhere, Logan ended his threat to expose Laurie’s alleged affair with teacher Doug Stevens; and young Samantha’s alcoholic mother finally admits to Sam that she hasn’t been much of a mother (a major understatement!). What a heartbreaker when Sam and her mother hugged. Maybe now Mom will get off the sauce and get her butt to AA. Most people who don’t/didn’t have an alcoholic parent don’t realize the damage the disease wreaks on every family member, especially the kids.

Original-artists tally: “Mr. Big Stuff,”  “We’ve Got the Funk,” “Couldn’t Get It Right” and “I Am Woman.”

This week, in “Friends with Benefits” (right), Tom gets jealous when Trina “reconnects” with her VERY handsome high school sweetheart Luke after her former flame runs into them at an airport bar. (Photo courtesy of Monty Britnon/CBS.)

Later in the day, wasn’t it fun to see prissy drag Janet loosen up? Granted, it took a few of her pot-laced (courtesy of Trina) brownies, but dadgum it, the woman actually smiled and laughed! The shenanigans even including a group skinny-dip in the lake! Of course, we all knew that Janet would be back to her old stodgy self the next morning, after her Alice B. Toklas buzz had worn off, and she would be downright mortified by her wild behavior. The scene where she and Trina were sleeping next to each other open mouth-to-open mouth was an A+ moment in a show that has so far had no A+—or anything close to that—moments.

And speaking of grading moments, here was the icky, D moment: the opening scene where Tom was piloting the passenger jet, told his co-workers to leave the cockpit, put the jet on autopilot and then had Trina come in so she could “go down on him.” Blech. I realize that the show runs from 10 to 11 p.m., but that scene was in there simply for shock value—or schlock value. And poor, horny Trina won’t be seeing as much of Tom after that, when he’ll then be flying Pan Meridian’s route to Tokyo.

Thank goodness teacher Doug Stevens thwarted his and Laurie’s dinner alone at her house by showing up late and then telling her that their kiss was inappropriate. That was all well and good, but what will happen now that Logan saw Doug leave Laurie’s house? Will he start blabbing that Mr. Stevens and his student are having some sort of illicit affair? It’s possible, considering that Laurie had blown Logan off earlier in the day.

And I almost forgot the original-vs.-fake artists round-up: These were the real deals, as far as I was able to make out over the dialogue: “What You See Is What You Get,” “Spirit In the Sky,” “Drift Away,” Shambala” and “Brand New Key.” Fake: “Brandy.” I wasn’t familiar with “Hello, Old Friend,” so I don’t know who sang it.

Tonight, in “Go Your Own Way” (at right), Susan defies Bruce by going to Tom and Trina’s house for a free-speech fundraiser to benefit the legal defense of the star of a controversial feature film. In one scene, Trina and some of her guests line up to meet and get autographs from guest of honor Harry Reems, an actor in the movie “Deep Throat.” And for those of you who are confusing the movie with the Watergate informant, ask someone over 40 to explain the difference. (Photos courtesy of CBS.)

Moving on, in last week’s ep, called “Double Exposure,” Miller mom, Susan, feeling guilty about having dipped into the “swinging-sex” pool with their new neighbors Tom and Trina Decker (right), insisted that her family pray before breakfast and then go to church—two events the Millers aren’t in the habit of doing. I’m sure she’ll find those two gestures insufficient in her attempts to ameliorate those feelings of remorse.

Sue then got all into repairing her damaged relationship with her best bud and former nabe, Janet Thompson, and asked her to help her plan a housewarming party. The get-together, however, turned into a bummer for Janet when the Deckers showed up and bossy Trina stole the show with her fondue game, resulting in sniping between Janet and Trina. I didn’t start feeling sorry for Janet until she saw that someone had drawn a charicature of her on the de-wallpapered living room wall (another of Susan’s gestures to rid herself of that pesky guilt) and written “Kill Joy” under it.

That evening, at the Deckers’ pool party, fellow swingers Brad and Sylvia, whom we first met at the Playboy Club, showed up. Jeez Louise, Mark Valley’s Brad looks horrible as a person in the 1970s. The parted hair, the sideburns, the clothes…. Valley—a West Point grad, by the way—looked SO much cuter in—yes, I bring it up again—his brilliant Fox series, “Keen Eddie.”

The ep got icky at the end, when—and I’m sure most viewers saw this one coming—the brewing sexual undertones between Miller daughter Laurie and her summer school teacher, Mr. Stevens, resulted in a kiss. Thank goodness, however, that at least Laurie was the one who initiated it. I guess that means she can indeed, as Mr. Stevens suggested, start calling him by his first name (Doug) out of class. I hope this storyline goes no further.

I must say that it was rather quaint seeing the neighborhood boys learning about sex via “Playboy.” Say what? you ask. Because back then, “Playboy” was the main source of adolescents’ explorations of that kind. But today’s society is saturated with sex. Just turn on cable TV or rent an R-rated movie. Or think back to the Clinton White House.

Tonight, in “Cabin Fever,” when Janet and Roger back out of the annual trip to the Millers’ two-bedroom cabin, Susan invites the Deckers instead. Oh, brother, is THAT a recipe for some sort of disaster or what?! Things start to get REALLY hairy when Janet and Roger suddenly decide to join them at the cabin afterall.

(Photo courtesy of CBS.)