And yet, I did. So here I am, five days later, having never shared with you, my reading public, my thoughts on “Retreat to Move Forward.” And I can’t imagine you still care. But I’m going to share anyway, because that’s what blogging is about, right?

But I’ll keep it short.

I loved the revival of GE’s Sixth Sigma program from Season 1. I wonder which writer on the staff has been dying for two years to spin that into an entire episode, like they did with last week’s retreat to sunny Croton-on-Hudson.

Having grown up two towns over, I can attest that what happens there stays there.

And I loved learning what the six sigmas are: they’re execs, each with their own philosophy they represent: teamwork, insight, brutality, male enhancement, handshakefulness and play hard.

Few things are more surreal than watching Jack pump himself up in the mirror. He really does have mommy issues, but they’re nothing like Liz’s. Did she just call herself a bitch? 

Feeling guilty about ditching her with the nerds, Jack does some team-builing Lego project with Liz for CLASS, which is actually lunch. It might have ended well if she hadn’t made those lewd gestures with their sculpture. That sigma guy was right, the old Jack wouldn’t have tolerated her robot member antics.

And how funny was it that Liz showed up at Jack’s room with two omelets, both for her.

I appreciated the “live mic in the men’s room” reference to the Naked Gun movies. But it was Liz’s Slingblade/Marian Cunningham/C&C Music Factory routine was what saved the day. Wait, was that Slingblade or Oprah? Who can tell?

As usual this season, Jack and Liz weren’t half as funny or entertaining as Kenneth, Tracy, Jenna, Frank or Dr. Spaceman, who doesn’t know how to tell Tracy he has diabetes. Between that and Jenna still amping up to play Janis Joplin—or Janet Jimplin, the B-plots stole the show for me, particularly this exchange…

Kenneth: Good morning sir, what’s that on your foot?

Tracy: It’s a practice wheel for when I lose my foot to diabetes.

Kenneth: You can’t eat candy if you have diabetes.

Tracy: There’s no link between diabetes and diet. That’s a white myth, Ken, like Larry Byrd or Colorado.

Kenneth: It’s not a myth. Gentlemen, back me up here.

Grizz: I don’t know. My dad had diabetes and he ate whatever he wanted until the day on the day I was born.

Kenneth: How do you not see the connection?

Toofer: You know, there’s a conspiracy theory that after the Civil War the U.S government spread false information about diabetes (Tracy: Word) to keep the newly freed slaves sluggish and docile (Tracy: And I heard that from Yusef Jackson), which is why, to this date, most African Americans don’t understand that diabetes is caused by sleeping on your back.

Kenneth: I don’t think that’s right.

Tracy: Diabetes and diet. Next you’ll be telling me that leasing a sports car is a bad investment.

That’s right up there with Jack’s therapy-inspired impression of Tracy’s entire family.

I’m getting hip to a recent trend of recycling jokes and plot devices that have already been used on The Office, even if I’m only imagining it. This week’s example was Frank janking around with Wikipedia to throw off Jenna’s Janis portrayal.

It turns out Joplin’s favorite drink wasn’t the Frankschlong: cherry juice, buttermilk and tequila. She also didn’t eat cats. That was Alf. I liked her “I Suck” T-shirt, though and speedwalking on crutches.

But it all led to Jenna and Frank finding love together. Or nasty lust. Either way, it’s quite an embarassment, for Frank, that is. Man that guy is working the ladies of the building, isn’t he? And she thought Dog the Bounty Hunter was the second grossest guys she’d been with. 

What can he say? He’s got a thing for damaged goods.

In the end, she took a Silkwood shower for nothing, but that’s what it took to convince Tracy to start eating right, so Kenneth’s job is done.

By the way, did you catch that “Cooter” call-back that referenced last season’s finale and explained what became of Jack’s government job? AfterElton.com did. Apparently Jack and Dick Cheney were quite an item.

How many shows go to that kind of effort?

Lastly, and tenuously relatedly, I want to weigh in on an idea raised in Variety the other day about NBC’s perpetual fourth-place status among the networks. The premise is that the Peacock lacks focus.

The Peacock ceded its upscale brand to ABC in recent years, and has been rudderless ever since. Should it focus more on single-camera comedy a la “The Office” and ”30 Rock”? Should it go more male to complement “Sunday Night Football” and ”Heroes?” Or should it veer toward character-driven drama like “Friday Night Lights” and “Lipstick Jungle?”

I think Variety is on to something. NBC has waited for its Thursday night block to become the Must See TV of old for too long. I love 30 Rock and The Office, dislike My Name is Earl and never got into Scrubs. ER, meanwhile, is about six years past its expiration date.

I’m glad to see the the Office ”not-a-spinoff” coming in April because it shows an investment in the future of sitcoms. With a business model that eschews that rampant development of new shows that was the paradigm in the past, hope for great new shows seems somewhat lost.

Yet that’s what all the networks need. They think people aren’t watching because of the Web and other programming options, but people will watch good shows, and they’ll flock to a communal experience—hello, American Idol anyone—when they can.

To paraphrase the president, yes I can. (Also, Malia, don’t touch that red phone, sweetie.)

I have to admit, Thursday nights wear me out. Yes, a TV blogger is whining about TV blogging. But hear me out. I recap both 30 Rock and The Office, and I can’t start watching either until 9, and they’re not over until 10. Factor in time for pausing the DVR while I scribble down funny quotes and any inspired musings I may have, and it’s closer to 10:30 before I start recapping.

But I persist, because this is a sweet gig. And I whine, because I can.

Anyway, tangent over, preview to follow. Here’s your respective episode summaries and my observations…

The Office: “Prince Family Paper” (9 p.m.) — Michael and Dwight go undercover to do a bit of industrial espionage on a paper company competitor. Meanwhile, the rest of the office holds a debate to settle the question: is Hilary Swank hot?

• Michael and Dwight on an adventure! Hope it’s more “Branch Closing” or “Office Olympics” than “Survivorman.”


• No, she is not. Debate settled.

30 Rock: “Retreat to Move Forward” (9:31 p.m.) — Jack is nervous about the corporate retreat, so he recruits Liz to accompany him for support. Meanwhile, Jenna ends up at the mercy of Frank when she decides she needs to implore method acting to prepare for her Janis Joplin role, and Kenneth must convince Tracy that diabetes is affected by his diet.

• Corporate retreat? I wonder if they’ll hone their Sixth Sigma skills? Nothing beats Liz out of her element.


• Frank messing with Jenna is always promising. More Frank is always good.


• Kenneth and Tracy should get their own show when this one runs its course.

I never thought I’d say it, because the show had always been so brilliant about weaving them in, but by last fall I felt like Tina Fey and Co. had hit a wall with the stuntcasting and it was time to get back to basics.

That said, Salma Hayek and Peter Dinklage brought a lot to the table in last night’s episode, “Señor Macho Solo.”

Jack found love—again. Liz found that little someone who could take her mind off babies, or so she thought. Tracy found that he didn’t need gold shoes and money shirts to keep his love by his side. And Jenna found that you don’t need the rights to a star’s name, music or likeness to launch a convincing biopic.

You just need a chunk of my love.

Here’s what I liked. Every scene with Hayek was a pleasure to watch. She’s as funny as she is pretty with her McDonald’s references and authoritative, rapid Spanish. Tracy Morgan continues to carry the show, as he has all season. (I totally have to catch his movie A Blaffair to Rememblack.) And Jane Krakowski continues to amaze with the kind of comic fearlessness that is almost extinct on TV. And she is sleepy!

I laughed hard at this one, and that’s all I ever expect from this show. When it delivers a little emotion and relatability to boot, that’s great. It hasn’t for a while now, and Tina Fey ought to be looking hard at why that might be. But funny’s enough for now, even if future guest stars do come up short. (That was not a Dinklage joke, I swear!)

Watch the full episode after the jump, followed by a detailed recap.

There were an unbelievable four story lines unfolding in this one, with Tracy and Jenna each carrying a C story. But leading things was Liz’s baby-inspired pursuit of the little guy from U.N. High Commission on Water Temperature and Food Taint.

It had me going from Liz’s distracted opening exchange with Jenna.

Jenna: Liz, did you hear?

Liz: Yeah, is your brother going to be OK?

Jenna: Oh no, not that. A new movie about Janis Joplin is going into production.

Enter the diminutive Mr. Dinklage. He’s a very serious guy. Instead of making his height the joke, they bounce Liz’s crazy off him. And it works. Good thing he likes aggressive women with a nerdy vibe.

He works for the UN, which it turns out is a lot like the Galactic Senate from Star Wars. They really hit it off, which seems unlikely given Liz’s generally obvious but unacknowledged shallowness. (Remember “The Hair.” And she only wanted to be with Dennis because it was easy, not out of low self-esteem.)

Jenna thinks the attraction is based on her mommy craze, but Liz really doesn’t want to blow it.

Liz: What if I say something stupid like order a tall coffee or talk about my Nintendo Wii?

Jenna: Liz, you like this guy. You’re a grown woman. Take a lesson from Janis Joplin and show some self-control.

Liz: How far into that biography are you?

Jenna: Not very. Why, what happens?

On their date Liz shields Stuart from the flames of a push cart vendor, and it’s over between them. After all, Kofi told him she was too good to be true. And his buddy with the sound effect for a name told him to wait three days before calling her. She may be weirder than him, but he’s weird how?

Liz: That came out wrong.

Stuart: You came out wrong.

In the end, they meet on the bridge, and Liz paws a child’s head, ending any hope for them ever.

Next up is Jack. Congresswoman C.C. is gone, and he’s prepared to die alone until he meets Hayek’s Elisa, his mom’s nurse. She’s too glamorous to play a geriatric nurse, but I rolled with it.

Elisa: You should have seen my grandmother in her later years. Do you know what kind of clothes old Puerto Rican ladies wear around the house?

Jack: No.

Elisa: Me neither because she never wore any.

Elisa got Jack’s mom to sleep by 7 with rapid, authoritative Spanish, which she finds lulls white people. Her nephew joined the marines to pay for college, but the gold shoes Tracy gave Jack are fun too.

As they talk, Jack reveals his cynical side about love. His life exit plan involves a McFlurry machine and a videotape of risque foreign commercials. In Puerto Rico it’s called a Señor Flurry, by the way.

The next morning, she finds Jack troubled and slickly begins examining him. He’s embarrassed, but it’s no worse than all those Michael Buble CDs he owns. With a little authoritative, rapid Spanish, she’s giving him a very personal physical exam and still manages to work in a well-timed mention her niece’s quinceañera, or debutante ball. She also tosses out an admonition that he see a doctor.

Jack: I’m fine.

Elisa: Oh please. Don’t try to be a Señor Macho Solo, which is actually what we call a McRib sandwich.

At the party, Jack shows up with a ‘65 Moet and pizza-blasted Pringles. She’s wearing a top that might be illegal in three of New York’s five boroughs, by the way. She invites him to stay, which gets him a baby and a plate of hors d’oeuvres as she introduces him in Spanish.

Elisa: Be nice to him because he has a growth in his crotch and he’s very sensitive about it. But he bought booze!

The result is that Jack finds himself uncynically in love and encourages Liz to not be alone. Even with a testicular growth, he’s happy. A phone call from the doctor, taken by Tracy, reveals it’s positive. You know, positive, like good. The test results were negative. Yeah, I heard a version of that one before too, on the “Michael’s Birthday” episode of The Office.

She’ll be back in future episodes, but for now Jack is unsure about his feelings for Elisa. Are they real? Dude, it’s Salma Hayek. Who cares?

I hate that they relegated the best jokes to the secondary storylines, but Jack’s efforts to help Tracy get his spending under control led to the most laughs.

A three-hour prime time salute to Benny Hill, a shirt made of money, those gold shoes and Grizz and Dot Com are all examples of Tracy’s wasteful spending in an effort to keep his wife from leaving him and taking half his money. Question: Can a man in gold shoes be too proud to help?

Jack comes up with a post-nuptial agreement for Tracy and Angie. (Sheri Sheppard is a great recurring guest star, by the way.) She gets $8,500 if she leaves. But her dedication to Tracy, swearing she’ll watch him die, makes him throw out the post-nup and take her right there on Jack’s desk…with everyone watching, or more accurately, scurrying away.

When Tracy’s on his death bed french kissing his wife, he’ll think of Jack. At least when he takes her in the hallway, Frank gets to watch. Poor Kenneth.

By the way, Tracy was in a remake of An Affair to Remember called A Blaffair to Rememblack.

Also out-funnying the main plots is Jenna’s attempted star turn as the late rock goddess. She isn’t an entirely unconvincing Joplin, right down to the drug-addled stagger and identity confusion, but I don’t think they were part of the act. Jack, at least, likes the synergy.

That’s why Sheinhard Universal includes a Heroes DVD with every missile guidance system it sells. So he orders Liz to let Jenna open the next episode with a song.

Jack: You can’t fight synergy, Lemon. It’s bigger than all of us.

Jenna’s nevertheless obsessed with the movie, but Jack wants relationship advice. That’s a bad move because you could end up engaged to her easily that way. Turns out they don’t even have the rights to the Joplin music yet. And yes, he’s talking.

On the show that night, which we never, ever get to see, the regular warm-up comic, who OD’d in a gay man’s apartment that morning, has been replaced by Kenneth doing his rendition of the rap song “Top That” from the movie Teen Witch. Watch the original here, then wash your eyes with soap.

In the end, Jenna’s left to play Janet Jopler? No rights, huh? Her performance is something else. “Break another little chunk of my love now, Mister.”

It’s her best work since Muffin Top, which will never be topped.

I admit I pretty much forgot that it does. It’s been a while, right? But all those “Salma Hayek stops by 30 Rock” sailing through my e-mail in-box in the last couple days should have tipped me off.

Now I like Salma Hayek a lot, but she’s not what has me looking forward to plopping down in front of the TV at 9:31 p.m. ET the most. Here’s the episode summary for Senor Macho Solo…

Jenna is concerned that Liz’s attraction to a new guy (guest star Peter Dinklage) has to do with her longing to have a child. Jack is keeping busy as he helps Tracy and wife Angie arrange a “post-nup,” and tries to get Jenna an audition for the title role in a Janis Joplin biopic. Plus, he finds time to hit it off with his mother’s nurse, Elisa (guest star Salma Hayek).

Meanwhile, according to NBC, Hayek will play a recurring love interest for Jack Donaghy, which I think we can all agree would be Alec Baldwin’s dream come true. He’s a funny guy, but she’s out of his and Jack’s league. Heck, she’s out of Brad Pitt’s league.

Here’s a preview of tonight’s episode. I don’t usually watch these, not wanting to be spoiled, but I laughed my head off at the first minute and three seconds of this three minute, 31 second clip before I pulled myself away. (Seriously, network dudes, that’s about 16 percent of the episode. You’re giving too much away!)

And while I’m at it, here’s the episode summaries for the next two weeks…

Jan. 15: Flu Shot — Liz tries desperately not to catch the flu, but it’s spreading amongst the “TGS” cast and crew quickly; and Jack is being selective over who receives vaccinations from Dr. Spaceman (guest star Chris Parnell). One is offered to Liz, but she refuses to take it, championing for the rights of the crew. Meanwhile, Elisa is working seven days a week, so Jack must be creative about finding ways to spend time with her.

Jan. 22: Retreat to Move Forward — Jack is nervous about the corporate retreat, so he recruits Liz to accompany him for support. Meanwhile, Jenna ends up at the mercy of Frank when she decides she needs to implore method acting to prepare for her Janis Joplin role, and Kenneth must convince Tracy that diabetes is affected by his diet.

Tracy Morgan hasn’t worn an ankle bracelet in a while. Alec Baldwin hadn’t left any lengthy voicemails for anyone. But Rip Torn, who plays GE CEO Don Geiss, has disturbed the calm with his third drunken driving arrest in five years.

Torn, 77, pleaded not guilty in Litchfield, Conn., to charges filed following a Dec. 14 traffic stop.

This comes just two years after his car struck a tractor-trailer on Hardscrabble Road in North Salem. He pleaded guilty to driving while impaired, paid a fine and surrendered his license for three months.

Apparently the lesson went unlearned.

Police say Torn was driving in the breakdown lane in his 1994 Subaru with a Christmas tree tied to the top.

He failed part of a field sobriety exam, then gave up after saying the ground wasn’t level enough, state police said. He also refused to take a Breathalyzer test and used profanity while in the trooper’s cruiser, police said.

I can’t decide which is the best part, the Christmas tree on the roof or the claim that the ground wasn’t level enough.

This is a guy who beat a 2004 drunken driving rap in Manhattan following a fender-bender with a taxi. So he’s 1-for-2 in these cases and is due back in court Jan. 28 for the tiebreaker.

(Photo: The Journal News)

Even as the Associated Press is lauding her as Entertainer of the Year, deservedly so, the gossip sites are touting a scurrilous report of a nasty rift developing between Fey and 30 Rock co-star Alec Baldwin.

They all point to a Star magazine report that I’d link to but it doesn’t work. At least it didn’t at this writing. Your mileage may vary.

Anyway, here’s the gist. It starts with a snarky Baldwin comment at a photo shoot about airbrushing, a seemingly harsh reference to Fey’s once mysterious facial scar that her husband recently revealed was the result of a childhood assault. Celebuzz continues…

Tina retorted, “Something wrong with my face?”

“Tina shot back that this was coming from a guy with a double chin who thinks Sarah Palin is hot,” a set source tells Star. “Alec was steamed about it the rest of the day and had words with Tina about it later.”

Ah heck, let’s give it another listen.

phone call from daddy

Quite frankly, I’m amazed it took two-plus years for things to heat up, at least publicly on the 30 Rock set.

Not that things didn’t get dicey for a while. Baldwin’s voicemail tirade coincided with Tracy Morgan’s drunken driving issues and was followed shortly after by Baldwin’s seeming threat to quit the show when he went on The View and said he didn’t care if he never acted again.

Still, I have to figure Fey would have enjoyed at least a day to savor besting Robert Downey, Jr. for the AP award. (Apparently they didn’t see Baby Mama. Lucky them.) Instead she’s dealing with another distraction.

Too bad. 30 Rock needs to get on a roll because it’s still not too late for it to become the next Arrested Development — which aired 11 more episodes — the funniest show on TV that got canceled because no one was watching.

It’s not surprising the same names keep coming up in these contests, since there are so few comedies on TV these days.

As usual, Alec Baldwin and the cast of 30 Rock go up against Steve Carell and the cast of The Office in the Outstanding Actor and Outstanding Ensemble in a Comedy Series categories, respectively.

There’s every possibility, however unfair, that Jeremy Piven and the cast of Entourage could send both home winless.My money’s on Baldwin and The Office. My heart is on Carell and 30 Rock.

Weeds is up in the comedy series category, too, as is star Mary Louise Parker for Outstanding Actress, though my heart and money are on Tina Fey, but only by a little.

The 15th Annual SAG Awards airs Jan. 25 on TNT and TBS.

Speaking of SAG, by the way, OfficeTally has sifted through and pulled out all the Office folks from the list of some 130 actors opposing a strike by the union. Really? After what a hoot last year’s WGA strike was?

One curious omission struck me: Jenna Fischer.

Could be because she’s been busy. According to Variety, she’s exec-producing “an hourlong comedic drama about a lumber salesman who solves a crime and becomes a private eye, along with a ragtag group of pals.”

Ragtag? Really?

Rainn Wilson is branching out too, according to the piece. He’s partnering with Adam Braff on Hump Tulips, “about a lawyer who winds up in a small Washington town in pursuit of the woman he loves.”

Both projects are through Universal, as in NBC Universal.

And since I mentioned 30 Rock, I’ll just point out that Salma Hayek’s first episode has been shot, and she reportedly found Alec Baldwin to be quite a handful. The Sun, via BuddyTV, got the scoop.

“Salma plays my mother’s nurse and I find out I have testicular cancer.  She shoves her hands down my pants and that was the first episode I shot with Salma,” he said.

Reviews I’ve spotted, formal and informal, indicate it blew The Office’s holiday episode out of the water, so my hopes are high. I’ll give it a gander later today, hopefully and post a true recap then. For now though, here’s the complete episode, courtesy of Hulu and Remote Access.

And just a quick news note, Jennifer Aniston seems to be planting the idea of her assuming a permanent role as the crazy stalker she portrayed a few weeks ago. The trial balloon shows up in and a GQ interview referenced here.

No offense to her, I’m an Aniston fan, but she didn’t work for 22 minutes on this show, so I don’t see how a regular spot would work.

Tonight’s 30 Rock is a return to form, a resuscitation of a floundering sitcom that puts four weeks of Oprah, adoption and idiotic Steve Martin antics to rest and reminds you why you used to love this show.

It is, to steal a phrase from your immediate viewing future, like the funniest guy on the elevator. (Trust me, that’ll make sense in a few hours.)

I lamented (whined?) yesterday about my dissatisfaction with this season so far. It has been pretty funny but also pretty uninteresting. The guest stars have been over the top and unnecessary, taking me out of the show like a bad distraction. It has seemed like Tina Fey has been suffering a Palin hangover instead of riding the tidal wave of popularity her impressions of the Alaska guv gave her to boomtown ratings.

Viewership is up so far over last year, but probably not as up as the Peacock suits were hoping.

Well, here’s some advice: do more of what you did to put together “Reunion,” tonight’s hilarious trip back in time to Liz Lemon’s high school days. What a geek she was! No wait, she was a bully, a spiteful, snarky, mean bully who pushed people away and left them scarred.

In my notes, I actually remarked the following, “Ugh, a reunion episode. What is this, Everybody Loves Raymond?” My fears were relieved, though. This was anything but a sitcom cliche. Liz’s run-ins with her old friends and perceived tormentors peeled another layer of the onion back on her damaged psyche.

And Jack (Alec Baldwin) does a bit of self-discovery himself. Once again, GE’s CEO job falls just out of reach as Don Geiss (Rip Torn, giving a clinic on how to be a guest star) wakes from his coma and decides to keep his day job. So Jack joins Liz at the reunion—improbably, sure, but to great effect—and assumes the persona of that cool guy who disappeared after graduation.

This show thrives when it peppers the funny around liberally.

Tracy went to a school for deaf girls run by nuns? Jenna was schooled on a boat? There were no Puerto Ricans on Star Trek. And, as revealed in a mid-flight, freak-out rant, Liz sometimes pees in the shower, once lingered after catching her grandparents mid-whoopie and another time laughed at a blind guy eating spaghetti.

That, my friends, is good writing.

Speaking of which, Tracy and Kenneth have been carrying this show all season, and that’s the case in this episode. While they may never reach the heights of recreating the Night Court finale, their battle to be the funniest guy on the elevator is something to behold, replete with Tracy’s Jenna-assisted counterattack that includes a pitch-perfect nod to Fey’s role in the recent presidential campaign.

And just for good measure, the episode wraps with a superb Stephen King reference.

I’m very happy to have my show back. Let’s hope it’s here to stay.

Check out the trailer…

There’s half as many sitcoms on the air today compared to eight years ago, and this one seems to be hanging by a thread. How good the funniest, smartest and most consistent 22-minute laugher on TV can be over the next eight months could go a long way to demonstrating that the sitcom as a genre isn’t dead yet.

That said, Tina Fey is hoping her current show gets the same boost from her Palin impression that her old show has gotten. I’ve weighed in already that I think the premiere airs too late for that.

Honestly, it feels like 30 Rock has been off the air almost as long as Arrested Development by now.

Sorry for the comparison, but it’s really the most apt one to make. A paltry 6.4 million viewers tuned in week-to-week last season, and that’s not going to cut it if you want the AD references to stop.

It’s with that in mind that I regret to say 30 Rock returns Thursday with a good but not as great as I was hoping Season 3 premiere. Maybe I built it up in my mind after six months of withdrawal. Or maybe I’m experiencing Tina Fey Fatigue. I can’t help but worry that six weeks of Fey-as-Palin hype haven’t created unrealistic expectations for those who do carry over and tune in to “Do-Over,” Thursday’s premiere, which hit the interwebs Oct. 23.

But don’t get me wrong. A mediocre 30 Rock is funnier than 98 percent of what’s on TV these days, so with that in mind here’s the happy recap, as someone I admire used to say.

Here’s your Spoiler Alert, if you needed one. Full episode, courtesy of Hulu.com, and recap after the jump.

Jack is  back from D.C., and Liz is stoked to see him. How he’s back is mostly classified until Cheney dies, and that man is made of mostly metal. The crew is chafing under the leadership of upstart Devin Banks (Will Arnett), Jack’s rival who bested him in the fight to succeed Don Geiss as CEO

But Devin doesn’t even understand when you should have birthday parties for people with weekend birthdays (the Friday before, of course).

The storyline of the season (and beyond?) is Liz’s decision to adopt. Single women can and should adopt if they’re up for the challenge, but Liz Lemon seems an unlikely candidate for pet ownership, let alone adoption. She’s got a home evaluation tomorrow, and she’s ready. She even got rid of all her Colin Firth movies lest they be considered erotica.

Jack immediately faces off with Devin, who gratuitously notes all he and Cathy Geiss—the boss’s possibly mentally disabled daughter he married to take over the company—need help with is deciding which John Mayer song to do it to. Sure, there have been setbacks at GE under Devin, but rumors make a Ru out of Mour and S. (Wait, what?) Just don’t touch Cathy’s head.

I’m so glad he and Devin didn’t kiss.

Jack surprisingly settles for a mail-room job just to get his foot back in the door. He figures he can work his way up in nine years this time instead of the 22 years it took him the first time around. He’s already been promoted twice his first day.

He sets about wooing Cathy, who has amorous intentions. And also creepy dead eyes. Her advances freak him out, and he turns to Liz. Sexual harrassment is not at all erotic and fun like when men do it to women, he says. He can’t succumb, though. After all, he was promoted again. His corporate climb is down to five years.

While mentoring other mailroom workers in the park, he spots Devin stumbling shoeless out of the bushes with two strange men. Sheesh.

Devin reveals he plans to quadruple corporate profits by 2015 by shutting down GE for two years. “Imagine how badly people will want lightbulbs then?” He sold the E in GE to Samsung, by the way. They’re Samesungnow.

Jack’s panicking at Devin’s plans. He decides he’s got to do the dirty with Cathy Geiss after all in order to save the company.

Enter Megan Mullally as Bev the stern adoption inspector, quizzing Liz on gentlemen sex guests and web cam rings and testing blind cords for strangulation potential and torching magazines below the smoke alarm. Liz’s demanding career is going to be an issue.

So Liz looks to the writers for their support with her evaluation. (That’s crazy. They’re morons.) The pornography has to come down, and movie party Thursday with Frank’s circus accident tape is out. Oh yeah, and the green room is going to be a nursery for the day, courtesy of some creepy baby dolls.

Kenneth, in practically his only line of the night, greets Bev (Mullally) and tells her he loves adoption. Three of his nine siblings were adopted. And someday he’ll find them.

Of course, as Liz explains what a nurturing environment the TGS set is, there is crashing, swearing and the mistaking of the names of one of the few black employees on set. That happens all the time…to Bev’s black husband. Oof, bad start, Liz.

Meanwhile, Jenna got her Japanese residual check for her commercial for Tokyo U (the one where she gets punched in the face), and she’s going to use it to buy everyone new boots for her. Tracy got a check too, profits from his new porn video game, the one everyone helped him with. But he’s not sharing the wealth, even though his check is the priz-noof.

Jenna takes her beef with Tracy over the porn video residuals to Liz, who promises Tracy has something special planned. Yeah, you know she’s lying.

She turns around and mentions to Tracy about how the rapper Lil’ Wayne rewards his crew every time a new album drops. “I know what you’re hinting at Liz Lemon,” Tracy says. “I should get my rap career going again. All in due time.”

Uh, not quite. To the batmobile!

Tracy returns with gifts of thanks for everyone who helped make his video game more popular than the War on Terror. Frank gets solid gold nunchucks. Pete gets a chinchilla coat. And Bev gets a big kiss.

Bev’s interviews with Liz’s co-workers don’t go so well. Cerie outs Liz for yelling at kids. Pete brings up his anger management issues and workplace archery, and Frank rambles on about circus violence.

In their only scene together, Devin and Liz don’t seem to have a great rapport. I expect more from Fey and Arnett. As Liz rushes to let Jack know Devin’s around, she charges Kenneth with stalling him. Kenneth doesn’t know what imperative means, but he’s sure eager to learn. Devin’s just eager to watch Kenneth do push-ups.

Liz manages to save Jack from getting caught with Cathy, who put strawberry lip gloss on Jack to make him her fancy boy. Yikes. He worked a day shift at a graveyard and a graveyard shift at a Days Inn to get to the top. How could he be reduced to this? But Liz points out maybe Cathy just wants attention.

The best throwaway line of the night comes as Jack and Liz are showing Bev around and Tracy is heard yelling at Jenna: “You’re going to sue me? Who do you think you are, the San Diego Zoo?”

Just then the only other black employee clears out the green room/nursery and Bev busts Liz for lying. But as Jack leans in to explain, Cathy sees their closeness and tackles Bev in a jealous rage. Oh, and Frank knocks her out with the nunchucks.

Bev had ruled against Liz as a less than idea adoptive parent, but she wakes up with amnesia, a silly and overly convenient twist, but it makes the titular do-over possible. This time Liz nails it. Bev rejects her anyway, but Liz’s impassioned plea wins her over.

And then the amnesia sets back in.

Second best throwaway line of the episode, from Liz and Jack: “We might not be the best people but we’re not the worst. Graduate students.”

Upstairs, Liz busts in on Cathy and Jack, who gets the idea to stage a soap opera face-off for Cathy’s benefit. Cathy buys it. (And she spoke!) Thank goodness Jack and Liz didn’t kiss.

Cathy’s stickers signature (nice touch) puts Jack in charge again, but Devin is unfazed. He had backup plans involving passing traffic. That was a little too tidy a resolution to a dilemma they spent most of last season creating.

And the schmaltzy ending where Liz says she likes the look of Jack back at his desk didn’t work too well for me either.

It’s not up yet (I just checked) but Hulu and NBC.com are carrying the premiere a week ahead of schedule. UPDATE: Fancast.com has it now! UPDATE UPDATE: It’s up, and you can view it by scrolling to the bottom of this post! You can also get a free download of the premiere on Monday from iTunes and TV Guide.

Apparently, NBC is trying to make a way-too-late attempt to take advantage of the Tina Fey-Sarah Palin buzz, which already has mostly dissipated. But it’s not gone yet. Palin’s limited stint on SNL last week brought the show its best ratings in 14 years.

The line of the night: Lorne Michaels explaining to Palin that a 30 Rock sketch was nixed because nobody knows that show. Don’t get mad at him. Blame the people who are tuning in elsewhere.

It was ridiculous that Fey and Palin didn’t share the stage at all. And it makes me wonder if Fey couldn’t take the heat.  Doesn’t seem likely, but how else to explain why she would be able to dish out her spot-on satirical take on the GOP Veep candidate the last several weeks but never once be in the position to take any jabs in return.

Oddly enough, there seems to be a consensus among 30 Rock’s stars that Palin is “way hotter” than Fey. Alec Baldwin said it in the context of his appearance with Palin on SNL, though it’s impossible to say in what context Baldwin’s sentiments can ever be taken at face value — a HuffPo column, a comedy sketch, his daughter’s voicemail…?

“I’ll tell you, that lady is five times better-looking than I am,” Fey tells TV Guide. “She’s 44? She’s got none of that droopy s—-. She’s keeping it tight!”

It’s not my place to disagree. But you can vote here.

Meanwhile, the Gossip Girls are out, and Steve Buscemi is in this season. Blake Lively and Leighton Meester of the CW fame won’t appear in a future episode as previously planned. (I’m not even entirely sure who they are.) But Buscemi, who cameo’d last season, will take a turn directing this season.

His appearance was underwhelming, I thought, but I love the guy so this should be good.

Speaking of good, frequent 30 Rock guest star Will Arnett has cut a deal with Fox for his own series. I wonder if it’ll run opposite his wife’s new show.

In less interesting news, Jennifer Aniston is eyeing a return to 30 Rock. No, you haven’t seen her there before, but she has already shot her debut for later this season and could be down for another.

“Do-Over” The 30 Rock Season 3 Premiere!!!

It was such an obvious blunder that even The New York Times picked up on it. Tina Fey, despite her lengthy tenure at SNL, despite being its first woman head writer, despite creating, helming and starring in the funniest show on television since Arrested Development, has never had a higher profile than she does now.

And she has Sarah Palin to thank. Her spot-on impression of Palin has been a boon for Fey (and ironically helping ensure a women won’t be on the winning presidential ticket for at least another four years). And how does NBC capitalize? How does the network use that to bolster the critically acclaimed but ratings-starved (an average 6.4 million viewers last season) 30 Rock? 

By keeping it off the schedule practically until Halloween. Kudos Ben Silverman. NBC’s entertainment chief continues to dazzle. Rather than seize the moment when the nation has Fey on the brain, he’s kept it out of sight, all the while staking his future on the success of…Kath and Kim? Yikes.

About the only thing the net is doing right in this regard is putting the season premiere up on Hulu a week early. (It’ll be at the visually inferior NBC.com too.)

In other news, it’s still unclear whether Sarah Palin will appear on the Oct. 25 episode of SNL.

Some say she will, and some say she won’t. And this guy just hopes the madness stops. And he’s pretty angry about it.

Tina Fey is so overrated it;s nto (sic) funny. Yeah she does a half decent Palin impression but so does my office mate. Tina got lucky that McCain picked someone who looks like her. That’s all.

Turns out Fey hopes the madness stops soon too. She went and did Alec Baldwin one better on his threat—since disavowed— to leave the country if Bush got elected. If Sarah Palin wins, Tina Fey is leaving Earth. I like Tina Fey, but I’m also a big fan of space travel. So I’m torn.

Meanwhile, Monsters & Geeks has great stills from Salma Hayek’s upcoming appearance on the show.

Here’s the episode summary for “Do-Over,” which airs at 9:30 p.m., Oct. 30 and co-stars Megan Mullally (pictured above) and Will Arnett…

Believing that Liz’s work schedule may be too hectic for her to adopt a child, adoption agent Bev (Mullally) decides to make a visit to set. Liz begs her co-workers to try to act “normal” for a chance, but chaos ensues amid an escalating feud between Jenna and Tracy. Meanwhile, Jack is back at 30 Rock to reclaim his position from Devin Banks, but quickly learns the task won’t be easy when he is given a sizable demotion. Jack vows to do whatever it takes, even if it means sacrificing his self-respect, to make it back to the top.

Photos: NBC Universal

SNL has never shied away from the political fray, and Tina Fey’s moonlighting gig as Sarah Palin has thrust the late-night sketch show back into the election spotlight. I’d say it’s been since Clinton-Bush in ‘92 that the show has played such a high-profile part in dissecting the presidential campaign.

But SNL really stepped in it this week, not simply with a provocative skit but one NBC yanked from its Web site and later re-posted in edited fashion.

Deadline Hollywood Daily’s Nikki Finke, no politico for her part, reported yesterday about a funny jab at the $700 billion bailout that aired this past Saturday. Seems the bit, featuring the hilarious Kristen Wiig as Nancy Pelosi and Fred Armisen as an even Barney Frankier Barney Frank, depicted a joint press conference with Jason Sudeikis’s George W. Bush.

And it pulled no punches in skewering both sides. But as Finke writes…

The sketch was embraced by Republicans for appearing to blame Democrats for the Wall Street meltdown. At one point in the sketch, President Bush (played by SNL regular Jason Sudeikis) even said, “Wasn’t it my administration that warned about the problem six years ago and it was Democrats who refused to listen?” (Immediately Barney Frank starts to complain… only to be hushed by Pelosi.) The skit was very obvious payback for all the Sarah Palin bashing this season on SNL which was trying to portray equal opportunity satire.

NBC put the video online Sunday morning. But then it disappeared off the network’s SNL website soon after. Needless to say, a lot of conspiracy theories were spun, real or imagined, especially by Republicans who wondered if the Democratic Congress, or perhaps Soros himself, were pulling NBC’s puppet strings.

NBC suits cited “standards” for nixing the offending portions of the segment, which appears in its edited form at NBC.com and above.

Her spot-on Sarah Palin impression, while wearing a little thin already, has thrust her into the spotlight in a way that her years as SNL’s head writer and her creation of the funniest sit-com on television never did.

If you love Obama and/or hate Palin (And really, what’s the difference, right?), you love Fey’s recreation of the GOP veep’s malaprops, question avoidance and small-town schtick. And even if you bleed red-state red, you have to admit Fey has captured the Alaska guv’s delivery. Her side-by-side with Amy Poehler’s Hillary in the late-night show’s season premiere was among the funniest bits Lorne Michaels and Co. have produced in years.

What’s a former beauty queen-turned-darling-of-the-GOP to do? Turn the tables, it turns out.

The Chicago Sun-Times reports that it’s looking more and more likely Palin will appear on SNL to spoof her spoofer.

I’m hearing some sort of Palin tweak of Fey’s American Express commercials is in the works.

While next weekend’s ‘’Saturday Night Live’’ will be a rerun, it is possible Palin could appear Thursday on the first of NBC’s ‘’Weekend Update’’ specials in prime time.

Otherwise, the next orginal “SNL’’ show will be broadcast Oct. 18, a little more than two weeks before the election.

But however she’d perform, I’ll believe it when I see it. I don’t see the network of Keith Olbermann and Chris Matthews — who had his own funny turn on 30 Rock awhile back — giving her the chance.

Meanwhile, want proof that playing Palin has been good for Fey’s career? Well she has landed a book deal with Little, Brown Book Group for upwards of $5 million. Reportedly it will be a Nora Ephron-style nonfiction humor tome. Was that something you could see her penning two months ago? Youbetcha. Were there any rumblings of such a deal in those pre-Palin days. Not that I ever heard.

And here’s a laugher: it seems even some newsies have a tough time telling Fey from Palin.

A couple of minor 30 Rock notes…

...The Season 2 DVD set is out today! I went to my local Walmart (big mistake there) first thing this morning, but they didn’t have them out on display yet. Features include 10 commentaries, numerous deleted scenes, the table read from “Cooter,”  the live show at the UCB Theater during the writers strike, Fey’s sting hosting SNL from February and The Academy of Television Arts & Sciences Presents: An Evening with 30 Rock. I can’t wait.

...Salma Hayek will appear in two episodes later this season, portraying a character, a la Will Arnett, rather than herself, like Seinfeld did.

...And remember when Fey referenced Peter Dinklage in an interview back in March? Well, it looks like she’s landed her man, if TVFodder is to be believed.

Lastly, here’s Liz Lemon’s take on the election…

Photos: Fey as Palin Saturday. (NBC Universal); Palin waving to supporters yesterday in Clearwater, Fla. (AP); Palin during the vice presidential debate Thursday. (AP); Fey at the Emmy Awards Sept. 21. (AP)

Of course Tina Fey and Alec Baldwin won the Outstanding Actor and Actress trophies, while the show took top honors and Fey won for best writing. If you’ve seen the show at all, you know why.

Baldwin robbed Steve Carell—yet again. Carell’s performance  in the finale, “Goodbye, Toby,” should have made the top actor category a no-brainer win for the world’s best boss.

That said, I picked a few clips I think amply demonstrate why the academy got things right with 30 Rock.

Why Alec Baldwin deserved to win…

Why Tina Fey, the actress, deserved to win…

Why Tina Fey, the writer, deserved to win…

Why Steve Carell should have won…

And I’m pretty sure no one fell off the couch when Alec Baldwin finally scored his trophy for his scene-stealing performance on “30 Rock,” or when Tina Fey snagged Lead Actress in a Comedy and Outstanding Writing for a Comedy Series.

As for Glenn Close? Please. The woman was a lock for Best Actress in a Drama for “Damages.” (It’s hard not to hand an award to someone whose character had a dog murdered—and then still made us kind of like her.)

But the ol’ Emmys had a few tricks up their sleeves.

Bryan Cranston of “Breaking Bad” shocked everyone—even himself—by swooping in to snag Lead Actor in a Drama away from everyone’s favorite to win, Jon Hamm of “Mad Men.”

Supporting dramatic actor Zeljko Ivanek was a stunner, too. If someone from “Damages” was going to grab that one, we all thought it was gonna be Ted Danson, for sure. My guess is that Danson and Michael Emerson—who was spectacular on “Lost” this season—split the vote and let Ivanek’s Southern-fried suicide score.

But there’s no explanation for a third consecutive win by Jeremy Piven of “Entourage.”

He’s terrific as Ari Gold, no doubt, but three in a row? Come on. He didn’t deserve it last year, and there’s absolutely no way to justify not giving the trophy to Neil Patrick Harris (who’s the best thing on the mediocre “How I Met Your Mother”) or Rainn Wilson (who plays oddball Dwight to perfection on “The Office”).

As for other snubs, Vanessa Williams and Kristin Chenoweth top the list.

Williams should have won last year, and I really thought she was going to score this time around for “Ugly Betty.” Wilhelmina is a more difficult role to play than people think: Williams is brilliant at letting her character be viciously diva-licious without going over the top.

But if she wasn’t victorious, I’d have been fine with my wee personal favorite, Kristin Chenoweth, grabbing the little gold guy. Her Olive gives a little extra oomph to the delightful “Pushing Daisies,” and she got to sing “Hopelessly Devoted to You,” for cripe’s sake!

I believe the voters, however, didn’t want comedic nuances in this category: They just wanted straight funny. So the Emmy went to Jean Smart of “Samantha Who?” And while Smart is great on that show, I can’t help but feel like I’ve seen her play that kind of sassy, sarcastic character before.

Anyway, there were lots more winners and losers, of course: Check out E!’s scorecard here for more.

And keep reading to see who else scored—and bombed—on TV’s biggest night. And not necessarily because they were accepting an award…
WINNERS

• JULIA LOUIS-DREYFUS. Her reaction to winner Tina Fey’s announcement that her husband tells her to act like JLD whenever she doesn’t know how to play a scene was awesome. Her mock eye-roll and thumbs up to the camera was priceless. Not to mention, the 47-year-old rocked a form-fitting Narciso Rodriguez gown way better than any other gal on the red carpet—including teenyboppers like Hayden Panettiere.

• RICKY GERVAIS. The man single-handedly saved the ceremony from being a complete and total bore. He brought down the house by bantering with Steve Carell about stealing his Emmy from last year. (Presenters Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert had “given” the award to their pal, Carell, as a joke because Gervais wasn’t there.) And props to Carell for being a really, really good sport.

• KATHY GRIFFIN. Normally, I think Griffin is pretty crass—which would be fine, if she were actually funny every now and then. But having her scream “Get up!” when the audience didn’t pay what she felt was proper respect to Don Rickles was a welcome wake-up moment in this snorefest.

LOSERS

• REALITY SHOW HOSTS. Ugh. There is no other word. Who on earth approved that rambling hot mess of an intro by Probst, Mandel, Seacrest, Bergeron and Klum? Bergeron got it right by staying mostly silent during that train wreck, rolling his eyes. And I know Heidi Klum is a model, and everyone’s already ogled her lady bits in the Victoria’s Secret catalog, but having William Shatner come onstage to rip off her clothes? It would have been offensive if it hadn’t been so terribly, terribly pathetic. And BTW, Heidi, if you’re going to host a TELEVISION awards show, at least do a little prep work. David Boreanaz is a star of “Bones,” not “The Bones.” Sheesh.

• JOSH GROBAN. Okay, Josh, we got the hint that you were trying to shake your classy image when you did a cameo in Sarah Silverman’s Matt Damon video. But singing a medley of TV theme songs? Sigh. Did they only tell you that you had to include the “South Park” theme seconds before you went onstage? Because that’s the only logical reason for agreeing to this horrific performance.

• CHRISTINA DeROSA. Don’t know who she is? Me neither. And an IMDB search didn’t help much. Yet she was one of this year’s random unknowns who somehow wrangle an invite to the ceremony and don a wacky outfit in order to get on the “worst dressed” lists.

Hey, any publicity is good publicity, right? Actually … NO! There is no reason to prance down a red carpet dressed as a flamenco dancer. Nor did we need to see a fan-shaped handbag to understand the look you were going for. And the stripper heels didn’t help either. Yuck.

(UPDATE: Plenty of websites are saying the above fashion horror is Alyssa Milano, even though ABC has officially ided her as DeRosa. I can only hope and pray that Milano’s publicist is working overtime to disassociate her from this monstrosity…)

But turning our attention to a GOOD fashion moment, let’s leave off by giving our own Remote Access award for Best Style Tranformation to Kate Flannery.

If you don’t recognize her from this photo, she plays the normally dumpy Meredith on “The Office.”

Can you believe it? Talk about a fashion moment! You go, Kate.
(Photos courtesy of ABC)

NBC made it official yesterday the Big O will guest-star in an episode of on 30 Rock this season. She joins a growing chorus of high-profile one-timers that include Al Gore, Jerry Seinfeld and Steve Buscemi, not to mention the all-star recurring characters portrayed by Will Arnett, Rip Torn and Edie Falco.

Oprah’s been on creator/producer/star Tina Fey’s wish list for a while now, and she got her girl. I wonder if they’ll do anything with the recent flap over the GOP veep’s pre-election ban from Oprah’s couch. That might be a little too much cross-over for Fey, who assumed the Palin role on her alma mater SNL’s premiere.

Oprah will show up on and at 30 Rock in the second episode of the season, airing Nov. 6.

“Oprah is very funny in the episode and we are beyond grateful to have her,” Fey said in a statement. “Also, I would like to announce that we are officially best friends.”

Of course they are. Who wouldn’t want to be friends with her? Fey, that is.

In other guest star news, funnyman-turned-distinguished fellow Steve Martin is joining the show’s one-shot cavalcade. New York Magazine carried a blurb without much detail in which Jane Krakowski blabs the scoop.

He and Oprah join Jennifer Aniston and someone from the CW’s Gossip Girls.

The converse of that observation has been echoed through the halls of the interwebs since John McCain made Palin the most buzzed about veep pick probably since Garret Hobart. (Look him up. Interesting guy.)

Well, not one to miss an opportunity, SNL chief Lorne Michaels tapped his old friend Fey to come back and don a pair of hip eyeglasses and portray the latest entry to the national political scene. Current SNL‘er and Fey friend Amy Poehler did her usual hilarious Hillary.

Apparently Palin has a sense of humor about the comparison, which, let’s face it, is pretty flattering to both parties.

CBS News reports that a Palin spokeswoman said the Veep nom had a good laugh along with the press corps in the back of the plane watching her doppleganger steal the show.

She thought it was quite funny, particularly because she once dressed up as Tina Fey for Halloween.

Meanwhile, it seems a little early to bring this up, but to be blunt: I don’t care.

If you’re not focused on the Oct. 30 premiere of 30 Rock, if you’re distracted by trivialities like the presidential election, the economy or your boss’s recent reprimand for reading TV blogs on company time, then it’s time to get with the program.

Especially since that program is the funniest one on TV. It’s been 130 days since the last time a new episode airs, and a new one isn’t due for another 45. These ought to help tide you over as they refresh your memory.

Liz Lemon replay

Jack Donaghy replay

I’m not going to go crazy cheearleading this move. It was dumb to split like they did a year ago. Now they’re back together. Big whoop. I can’t tell you how much money I saved since then. It was such an anti-customer feud that I’m loath to even give the reunion much free publicity.

But then there is a bright side: freebies. Go to iTunes now and you can download free episodes of several shows in both standard and HiDef versions, which are now available for $2.99 – a complete rip-off if you ask me.

I grabbed every one that interested me, and I didn’t spend a penny on anything else while I was there.

Here’s the first link from a reputable outlet that I came across, if you’re curious about the details. Don’t look for any apologies there, though.

Perhaps if Baldwin pondered that question he might choose his words—to his daughter, to his readers or to the press—more carefully.

Baldwin, who once reportedly threatened to leave the country if Bush was elected president—a report he denies—and who was recorded calling his own daughter a thoughtless little pig, and who has made a habit lately of pondering a career change even as 30 Rock is among the most critically acclaimed and just plain funniest shows on TV, has stepped in it again.

In a column at the Huffington Post, in which he lambastes Sarah Palin as the next George Bush (I, for one, don’t think they look at all alike.), he threw in a loaded tag at the end that starts like an apology and ends like a Molotov cocktail.

PS: My apologies to the cast and crews of My Name Is Earl and Scrubs. In my frustration with NBC’s reprehensible promotion of 30 Rock, I took an unfortunate swipe at both of those shows and that was not cool.

But, for Earl’s creator, Greg Garcia, who referred to me as a “psychotic”, I have only one question. Why are you Scientologists always rendering these medical opinions you aren’t qualified to give?

That appears to be the case, judging by Garcia’s reaction, as reported at http://remote.lohudblogs.com/2008/09/08/30-rock-welcomes-a-friend-chases-o-and-hits-stores-next-month/ I’m pretty interested to see Jennifer Aniston’s guest stint on 30 Rock this season, and I don’t know why.

But it’s Tina Fey’s dream, and apparently she and the Big O are in talks. And if nothing else, you know you can count on this group of writers to make her stint funny. (They did it with Al Gore.)

Oprah’s been at the center of a flap over her support for Barack Obama and her refusal to have Sarah Palin on her show before the election. I don’t care who she supports or who she interviews, personally, (though Palin seems like a natch for Oprah’s demographic—women ages 12-92). But given this controversy, and Fey’s much publicized resemblance to Palin, it’s worth asking an important political question: Who is Liz Lemon voting for?

For the answer, I refer you to Season 1’s “Fireworks” and Liz’s nervous rant to her beau Floyd. Pay close attention around the 49-second mark…

In other news, if the Oct. 30 season premiere still feels like a long way off (which it is), Hulu has your back. The most awesome video site is streaming several premieres, including 30 Rock’s and Chuck’s, one week in advance.

Lastly, the Season 2 DVD set hits stores Oct. 7. I am very excited about that, especially after checking out this set of bonus features…

• 10 Audio Commentary Tracks


• Deleted Scenes


• “Cooter” Table Read


• 30 Rock Live at the UCB Theater


• Tina Fey Hosts Saturday Night Live


• The Academy of Television Arts & Sciences Presents: An Evening with 30 Rock

(Photos: Jennifer Aniston at the Toronto Film Festival yesterday/AP; Oprah Winfrey in Whitesboro, N.J. Aug. 30/AP

I don’t even care if her politics are more like Alec Baldwin’s—OK, maybe not that wacky—than mine. A Fey administration would be the funniest, snarkiest, most surreal since Rutherford B. Hayes ran amok on Pennsylvania Ave. (A real kook, that Rutherford.)

Still, I don’t think it was necessary for John McCain to put Fey’s doppleganger on the ticket to try and lure votes.

OK, not exactly spitting images. Tim Goodman found better comparisons, but hey, this is his day job. The similarity between Fey and Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin is striking. (Gore looks a lot like Baldwin in that pic, come to think of it.) Try Googling the phrase Fey and Palin and see what comes up. Apparently a lot of other people think so too.

A lot of them are pointing out that it’s too bad Fey doesn’t have her SNL gig where she could portray Palin weekly. I say, bring Palin on 30 Rock. It would help balance the silliness that was former veep Al Gore’s cameo, and it’s not like the show’s trademark isn’t surprising guest stars (i.e. Pee Wee Herman, Seinfeld, etc.).

Speaking of guest stars. Will Arnett is going to be back, which I pretty much figured but was thrilled to see anyway. Jennifer Aniston will be swinging by, too, making her return to the network that made her famous.

Now if only the season premiere wasn’t almost as far away as Election Day.

(Photos: AP, NBC)

Zachary Levi, who deftly plays the dramedy’s charmingly nerdy title character, will be hosting NBC’s prime-time preview special across the network’s broadcast and online platforms from Aug. 30 to Sept. 28. And in this blogger’s humble opinion, there couldn’t be a better choice.

With the proliferation of the Internet, cable networks and other entertainment sources in recent years, it’s no secret that networks these days have a short leash for new series that struggle to find large audiences. (See ABC’s “Emily’s Reasons Why Not”... because no one else did! Hiyo!) Back when “Seinfeld” struggled to find an audience for The Peacock, networks could exhibit more patience in the hope that word of mouth would not only keep a show afloat but, in time, deliver a ratings champion. But it’s no longer the ‘90s, and networks that fail to land quick hits often pull the plug, leaving audiences disappointed by premature cancellation and more wary than ever to dedicate the time to newer series.

Which brings us back to Levi, “Chuck,” the preview special and NBC’s classy gamble. In having Levi host the show, it’s essentially dedicating a half-hour of subliminal advertising to “Chuck,” which was on the bubble as far as second-season pickups were concerned. For its fall preview special a few years ago, NBC showed similar faith in handing over hosting duties to the stars of another show on the ropes: “The Office,” which since has become a critical darling and modest success in the Nielsens. Here’s hoping “Chuck” receives the same boost.

Of course, “The NBC Primetime Preview” will do more than offer “an exclusive backstage look” at new series like “My Own Worst Enemy” (starring Christian Slater), “Kath & Kim” (Molly Shannon and Selma Blair) and “Crusoe” (Philip Winchester and Sam Neill). It’ll also show off some teasers for returning series (“The Office,” “30 Rock,” “Heroes,” “Life,” et al.).

The special’s being offered to all of NBC’s broadcast and Internet affiliates and will even be shown on “selected United Airlines flights.” Chuck’s flown a helicopter, after all, so I suppose that works.

NBC’s premiere week officially kicks off Sept. 22.

(Photo courtesy of NBC.com.)

But I’d rather recap episodes than post every blurb that crops up on the interwebs. That said, I found some prime Alec Baldwin morsels to share. I’ve got to do something, right? The show isn’t due back for another THREE MONTHS!!!.

Anyway, Baldwin is a wacky guy. I think even his closest friends and biggest fans (including me) would say that’s a fair statement. Let’s face it, you can’t portray Jack Donaghy and be an ordinary guy in your spare time.

But the approach of the big 5-0 might be taking its toll. After all, his recent musings about a career change have to be giving his agent pause, at least.

He told the L.A. Times he’d rather being singing on Broadway than doing another ditzy sit-com. (Can you imagine the flack a guy without his liberal cred would get if they seemed to call the Tina Fey creation ditzy?) He had to back-track off that comment, though, since 30 Rock is anything but ditzy.

“The fact that we have a smart show with nothing that caustic or harsh is a miracle. To talk about what I want to do to Condoleezza Rice sexually without saying something really, really anatomical — that takes a lot of doing.”

He did his best Andy Rooney, ranting about the difficulties of putting on socks and then proceeded to interview an audience member Mike Wallace-style, asking her if she was a member of the mile-high club.

It feels like the Funniest Show on Televisionâ„¢ has already had a good long run with lots of gas still in the tank. But really it’s only been two seasons, one of them strike-shortened. And no one is watching!

Well, not no one, but not nearly enough people are tuning in to give diehard fans like myself any confidence that Ben Silverman and the gang at NBC won’t pull the rug out from under Tina Fey and Co. no matter how many awards they pull in or how much praise the suits heap on them. Season 1 averaged an anemic 5.8 million viewers; in Season 2 that jumped to the still-too-low-for-prime-time 6.4 million.

Ratings drive programming, and sit-coms are still an endangered species. Funny just isn’t enough. Ask Will Arnett, the funniest guy on the former title holder of Funniest Show on Televisionâ„¢. (Yeah, that title isn’t really trademarked, but that does make it look more official, no?)

Critics raved about Arrested Development. Its cult following loved it, and so did Emmy (six wins, 15 noms in its three-year run). SAG, TCA and the Golden Globes showed plenty of love too. That didn’t stop trigger-happy Fox from yanking it.

So this is what ran through my mind as I read about 30 Rock’s impressive showing at this years’s TCA’s.

Fey took home the Individual Achievement in Comedy prize, besting, among others, castmate Alec Baldwin (and egregiously no one from The Office). The show itself won the Outstanding Achievement in Comedy award, over a Murderer’s Row of Who’s Funny on TV: The Colbert Report, The Daily Show, Flight of the Conchords and The Office.

Fey acknowledged the show’s ratings/quality gap in her acceptance speech.

I want to thank everyone involved in the Television Critics Association, not just for this award but for your very very generous support of 30 Rock. Thank you to you guys for making 30 Rock the most successful cable show on broadcast television. Oh, it’s a great time to be on broadcast television, isn’t it? It’s exciting! It’s like being in vaudeville in the ‘60s. We’re thinking of actually changing the name of the show to Ratings-Challenged 30 Rock, just to take some of the power out of it. It’s like taking back the N-word; we’re gonna do it. It might make Elisabeth Hasselbeck cry, but we’re gonna do it.

I bet Arnett and Ron Howard and Jason Bateman gave some pretty funny acceptance speeches back in the day, too.

Anyway, among Fey’s other observations, according to BuddyTV, were citing Tom Hanks’ work on Bosom Buddies as appointment TV for her back in the day (Can you say Season 3 guest star?); saying Baldwin’s character Jack Donaghey makes Mad Men’s womanizer Don Draper “look like half a fruit”; and describing co-star Jack McBrayer (Kenneth the NBC page) as a little kid who has a disease that makes him look like a 30-year-old hillbilly.

The bottom line is, people need to start tuning in to 30 Rock if it’s going to last longer than Arrested Development’s three-year run. But if you don’t believe me and every TV critic and awards show going, I don’t know how else to convince you.

Well, there’s this…

And this…

Here’s the recap for any Dunderheads who’ve been under a rock the last couple of days. I’m just going to throw my two cents in as I go along.

NEWS: SNL‘er and Tina Fey’s best bud Amy Poehler, aka Mrs. Will Arnett, is the new Michael Scott. She’ll be heading up the spin-off that is set to launch following next year’s Super Bowl. It won’t be a true spin-off but more like a “from the makers of” kind of deal. They’re even poaching writers from The Daily Show. (Sources: THR | AP | Nikki Finke | Ausiello | Some blogger)

REACTION: Best. News. Ever. Seriously, she’s one of the funniest people on television. She’s married to and best friends with two people who share that claim. She’ll be leading a rebranding of my favorite show ever. She joins Human Giant’s Aziz Ansari as the only cast members announced so far, but that’s 2 for 2 in my book.

The idea that Baby Mama made Poehler a bankable star is a little laughable, but whatever it took to convince the suits that she rocks is cool with me.

I love that they’re taking the formula that worked with The Office of building the show around a big but not gigantic name with a hard-core comedy resume (a la Steve Carell). And I love that it’s a woman because women are funny too. I know that’s not a newsflash, but women don’t seem to get all the show-biz breaks men do, which means less funny in the world for me to enjoy.  Yes, it’s all about me.

Who’ll replace Poehler at SNL? Who cares. That show is the Michael Myers of its medium. It’ll be fine. A better question is how will Poehler’s pregnancy affect the February launch?

The idea of a spin-off never worked for me. Here’s why: the original is a mockumentary, even if it seems showrunner Greg Daniels and Co. occasionally forget that. A spin-off mockumentary sounds like the stupidest idea in the world. There are two endless documentaries being filmed simultaneously? And if the spin-off isn’t a mockumentary, how can it be borne out of and co-exist in the world with a show that is one? To me, it’s like trying to spin an animated comedy off from a live-action variety show. (Doh! OK, it’s like doing that again.)

The fact that GD won and the NBC suits lost the battle of “to spin or not to spin” confirms, first, that whoever he was arguing with has no soul or a tiny brain, and second, that GD is on our side. Or we’re on his side. Whichever.

I suspect that this is what he and his crew had in mind all along, or at least since about 10  minutes after they got together in a room to brainstorm spin-off ideas.

Daniels: OK crew, I need ideas and I need them fast. Whaddaya got?

...silence…

Mindy Kaling: This is stupid.

BJ Novak: Yeah, let’s just make a new show.

Daniels: Good call. But let’s break it to them slowly so they think it’s their idea.

Paul Lieberstien: Did anyone bring Fritos?

Steve Carell got another nod for best comic actor (that hopefully Alec Baldwin won’t win over him this time).

Rainn Wilson got a supporting actor nod, and John Krasinski didn’t (and yet Ari and Drama from Entourage did).

Jenna Fischer is nowhere to be seen. Neither is Amy Ryan.

30 Rock and The Office are both up for best writing in a comedy.

REACTION: What can I say? Fischer’s omission probably isn’t as criminal as in past years, but she should have a couple of Emmys on her mantle by now. Krasinski, too.

I can’t make a convincing case why Carell deserves a win over Baldwin, but I’d really love to see Carell recognized for the amazing work  he continues to do. Just rewatch “Goodbye, Toby” to see what I mean. (Seriously, follow that link and watch it. Best 42 minutes of your day, I bet.)

As for the show itself (don’t shoot me), 30 Rock was consistently better this past season. That said, I won’t be disappointed if either wins. If Two and a Half Men wins, though, I’m selling my TV and moving to Dubuque.

Since they submitted “Dinner Party,” my money’s on The Office for the writing award. 30 Rock is being recognized as the Worldwide Leader in Stuntcasting with seven of the 10 guest actor/actress noms, but there is no way to justify Amy Ryan’s snub after her brilliant turn as Holly Flax in The Office finale.

Lastly, how is Pushing Daisies a comedy? And Samantha Who? who???

Other Office stuff I found lying around

Ricky Gervais chatted with Comcast but forgot to ask about my inflated bill.

John Krasinski moonlights as a bartender (and yes, that’s where he and Karen ate dinner in “The Job.”

No one is cooler than Darryl.

Mose. Baby Mose. Regis. You’re welcome.

‘I can’t be bothered with your petty small talk.’

Mindy is in Scranton tomorrow. Go!

Not only did it contrast with last week’s sleeper, which was only exciting for about the last 30 seconds, but it stood on its own as an awesome half hour of television.

Nancy Botwin is going into retail. Who saw that coming? I mean besides anyone who saw the previews last week. There’s been a lot of discomfort about this season and the abandonment of Agrestic and the surburban dealer-mom premise the show was built around. Well Ren Mar is the new Agrestic, and the maternity store/drug money front is certainly a new take on a familiar theme.

But first, what about Andy? Oh yeah, Andy! He was cooling his jets on an Igloo cooler last we saw him. And sidetracked by Celia’s foray into government surveillance, Nancy forgot to be back in 45 minutes as promised. You’d think Mr. Responsible could understand someone being 12 hours late for a pickup.

Besides, he needed the distraction of joining a human convoy to Davenport, Iowa, in order to find his mettle. And find it, he did, putting a bullet in a coyote’s knee, saving the girl and retrieving his oh-so-cool Fall Guy belt buckle. (That was a cool show, Lee Majors’ big comeback.)

But the high point of the night for me was Nancy’s quick thinking. The fact that it resulted in a self-serving release is besides the point, but it rocked when she cracked Celia in the teeth with Guillermo’s gun. Way to get even for years of needling, hair pulling and general annoyance. It was also a great cover, giving her time to figure out Celia’s game and what to do about it. There was a little bit of loyalty on display there too, considering she didn’t know what Celia was up to, except that she’d somehow gotten out of jail and showed up outside with a camera (albeit the disposable kind that I didn’t know they made anymore).

She didn’t have to go out on a limb for Celia, even though she got to knock one of her chompers out in the process. She could just have easily sold her out to Guillermo, who’s keeping her in business. It was great when Guillermo gave Nancy permission to hire Celia but at minimum wage only.

Now to the one minor bit of criticism I had, and it has to do with a scene I liked. I’m not talking about Silas unleashing The Swarm in his bedroom. That was actually pretty cool. No, I’m talking about Nancy’s sitdown with Captain Till. She was awfully confident, and he was awfully shaken when she mentioned that her late hubby had given her some juicy dirt that she was sitting on.

Is he really going to get off her back? When they revealed he had connected her with Guillermo, I didn’t see how they could keep Nancy out of jail for long, and the solution was just a little too easy for my tastes. I actually like Till, and I’d rather see him and Nancy reach an understanding based on the fact that she’s not a big fish and that she’s too slick to be his pawn like Celia. Instead, she seems to have him over a rather improbable barrel.

Whatevs. Realism is not always this show’s strong suit. Besides, this gives us the chance to put the feds on the backburner while we focus on that hole in the shop’s back room.

Is it a tunnel to Mexico? Probably. Is it for smuggling people? Drugs? Probably and probably. Does mall management know about the damage to its property? Probably, but it’s not like they’re going to complain to Guillermo.

I sense another game-changer coming. Not on a par with burning down the neighborhood, but there’s going to be a directional shift, I think. It started with Lenny’s departure and moved ahead with Celia’s arrival and Till’s reluctant truce.

You’d have to be one of Nancy’s old customers to believe a lot of what’s going on, but man is it fun to watch regardless.
—————
By  the way, I’m pumped but torn to see Mary Louise Parker nominated for a best actress in a comedy Emmy. Pumped because she’s an amazing actress who actually makes a good show great. Torn because she’s up against Tina Fey for 30 Rock.

The bad: I swear the only reason “The Wire” isn’t among the best drama nominees is because lazy Emmy voters—i.e. most of them—never saw the show. Despite a phenomenal fifth and final season, it’s only up for one writing award. Its only other nomination, also for writing, was back in 2005.

Geez. Where’s the acting love for Lance Riddick (Daniels), Clarke Johnson (Gus), Michael K. Williams (Omar) or Sonja Sohn (Kima)? The only rationale for no acting nominations I can think of is that so many talented “Wire” actors have split the vote over the last five seasons.

“John Adams” led the Emmy nomination pack with 23, and “Mad Men” (17) and “Damages” (16) were the first basic-cable series to be up for top drama.

I’m sure you’ll hear more Emmy commentary from many of us in the weeks to come before the Sept. 21 broadcast, but here’s the crucial info you need to know.

Drama: “Boston Legal,” “Damages,” “Dexter,” “House,” “Lost” and “Mad Men.”

Comedy: “Curb Your Enthusiasm,” “Entourage,” “The Office,” “30 Rock” and “Two and a Half Men.”

Best actor—drama: Gabriel Byrne (“In Treatment”), Bryan Cranston (“Breaking Bad”), Michael C. Hall (“Dexter”), Jon Hamm (“Mad Men”), Hugh Laurie (“House”) and James Spader (“Boston Legal”).

Best actress—drama: Glenn Close (“Damages”), Sally Field (“Brothers and Sisters”), Mariska Hargitay (“Law & Order: Special Victims Unit”), Holly Hunter (“Saving Grace”) and Kyra Sedgwick (“The Closer”).

Best actor—comedy: Alec Baldwin (“30 Rock”), Steve Carell (“The Office”), Lee Pace (“Pushing Daisies”), Tony Shalhoub (“Monk”) and Charlie Sheen (“Two and a Half Men”).

Best actress—comedy: Christina Applegate (“Samantha Who?”), America Ferrera (“Ugly Betty”), Tina Fey (“30 Rock”), Julia Louis-Dreyfus (“The New Adventures of Old Christine”) and Mary-Louise Parker (“Weeds”).

And here’s the complete list of 2008 Emmy nominees.

UPDATE: More good news/bad news, this time in the category of best supporting actress in a comedy series. A long-overdue and well-deserved nod has been given to “Saturday Night Live’s” Amy Poehler, but how in the world is Jenna Fischer snubbed for her work on “The Office”? Instead, the category includes Jean Smart for “Samantha Who?” and Holland Taylor on “Two and a Half Men.” As Poehler herself on Weekend Update would say, “Really?!”

(Photo courtesy of Fox.)

If you’ve ever seen the film Lollilove – and I recommend it to Office diehards, at least – that was her one and only foray into those specialties. It’s a funny and weird little movie with her now estranged husband James Gunn. And apparently it jumpstarted her creatively but cured her of all but the acting bug.

Here’s what she had to say this week…

“I just learned from doing that film that I’m an actor,” she says. “I approach work very emotionally — like, what’s the emotion, what’s the relationship here? And that’s a part of being a director, but the director is also supposed to think about how things look, how to place things and visually paint a picture. And my brain just did not want to do it, it couldn’t paint the picture. Also, I didn’t want to think about it, because then when I had to go in and act, it made me very self-conscious. So I like having the tunnel-vision of just focusing on character and relationship and emotion. Directing hurt my brain; it’s just not big enough for it.”

“I’ll never do that again as well,” she said of writing. “It was horribly painful as well, I didn’t like it. What was great about doing the movie was how much I appreciate anybody who can conjure up something from nothing, anybody who can write or direct and tell a story visually, and any crew member, too. Directing a movie, you gain such an appreciation for what every person on the set is doing, and how things don’t happen in a vacuum, and that the actor isn’t the most important thing to the movie. They just aren’t. Sometimes you get treated like you are, but that’s just a way to baby you so that you stay calm and sedate. But you aren’t actually very important. And that’s a really good thing to know in Hollywood, to keep some perspective.”

Emmys look to be Office, Rock heavy

Both shows are among the 10 named for best comedy (along with the deserving Flight of the Conchords and Curb Your Enthusiasm). Alec Baldwin and Steve Carell, meanwhile, appear on the short list for best actor in a comedy (again, along with Curb’s Larry David and possibly FotC’s Bret McKenzie and Jemaine Clement).

On the supporting side, John Krasinski and Rainn Wilson are up against Rock’s Jack McBrayer and Tracy Morgan (Weeds’ Justin Kirk is in there too), while Jenna Fischer and Jane Krakowski represent the ladies. the obscure category of best guest actress in a comedy series pits Amy Ryan (The Office) against Elaine Stritch and Edie Falco (30 Rock).

In other 30 Rock/Office news…

...Creed’s got another blog up.

...I’m so glad this exists, if only for this…

Tracy: Doctor Spaceman, when they check my DNA, will they tell me what diseases I might get, or help me to remember my ATM pincode?
Dr. Spaceman: Absolutely. Science is whatever we want it to be. I’ll let you know as soon as we have the results.
Tracy: I already know the results, the kid is not mine!
Dr. Spaceman: Boy it’s crazy to think we used to settle questions of paternity by dunking a woman in water until she admitted she made it all up. Different time, the sixties.

...Enjoy this, because it looks cool…

www.strike.tv Teaser from StrikeTV on Vimeo.

...And enjoy this, but don’t spoil me. The Webisodes launch tomorrow, and I’m not watching until then!

It’s a blog entry from the Web site of the Conservative magazine National Review. A reader posits that The Office’s Pam Beesly and 30 Rock’s Liz Lemon are both excellent role models for girls.

“Though they’ve made reference to her having premarital sex,” she writes, Pam escaped a dead-end relationship to be with a man who encourages her to pursue her dreams. Liz, meanwhile, “represents all that is cool to young women right now. She’s successful, professional, funny, and cute.” And while Liz is insecure she is also gracefully awkward, an imperfect role model.

My take is that Pam probably is a pretty good role model, at least since she began to take back  her life back at the end of Season 3. Liz Lemon? Well, she’s pretty, successful and funny, but she also dates losers (Dennis) and cousins (The Hair) and lets the good ones get away (Floyd) while she wallows in her Sabor de Soledad and lets Jack steer her personal and professional lives.

I don’t for a second think she’s a bad role model, but I think even Tina Fey would tell you Liz isn’t there to be emulated. She’s there to be funny and maybe easy to relate to.

The blogger at NR had a different take, at least on Pam…

Are there any cool models out there of real or fictional single gals living differently (chastely)? Not the 90210 newspaper editor who’s infamously a virgin … well, until she gets her repressed self pregnant. Not the Britney who pretends while slutting herself out on stage. Real, normal, cool 20somethings whose lives are so full and they are so loved or at least have such self-respect that they don’t need all that wonderful stuff until they’re married.

In the case of The Office, though, the issue barely comes up at all, one way or the other. The fact is, the show has focused well on Pam’s taking charge of, and responsibility for, her own life, which is a great message that shouldn’t be lost.