And I’m pretty sure no one fell off the couch when Alec Baldwin finally scored his trophy for his scene-stealing performance on “30 Rock,” or when Tina Fey snagged Lead Actress in a Comedy and Outstanding Writing for a Comedy Series.

As for Glenn Close? Please. The woman was a lock for Best Actress in a Drama for “Damages.” (It’s hard not to hand an award to someone whose character had a dog murdered—and then still made us kind of like her.)

But the ol’ Emmys had a few tricks up their sleeves.

Bryan Cranston of “Breaking Bad” shocked everyone—even himself—by swooping in to snag Lead Actor in a Drama away from everyone’s favorite to win, Jon Hamm of “Mad Men.”

Supporting dramatic actor Zeljko Ivanek was a stunner, too. If someone from “Damages” was going to grab that one, we all thought it was gonna be Ted Danson, for sure. My guess is that Danson and Michael Emerson—who was spectacular on “Lost” this season—split the vote and let Ivanek’s Southern-fried suicide score.

But there’s no explanation for a third consecutive win by Jeremy Piven of “Entourage.”

He’s terrific as Ari Gold, no doubt, but three in a row? Come on. He didn’t deserve it last year, and there’s absolutely no way to justify not giving the trophy to Neil Patrick Harris (who’s the best thing on the mediocre “How I Met Your Mother”) or Rainn Wilson (who plays oddball Dwight to perfection on “The Office”).

As for other snubs, Vanessa Williams and Kristin Chenoweth top the list.

Williams should have won last year, and I really thought she was going to score this time around for “Ugly Betty.” Wilhelmina is a more difficult role to play than people think: Williams is brilliant at letting her character be viciously diva-licious without going over the top.

But if she wasn’t victorious, I’d have been fine with my wee personal favorite, Kristin Chenoweth, grabbing the little gold guy. Her Olive gives a little extra oomph to the delightful “Pushing Daisies,” and she got to sing “Hopelessly Devoted to You,” for cripe’s sake!

I believe the voters, however, didn’t want comedic nuances in this category: They just wanted straight funny. So the Emmy went to Jean Smart of “Samantha Who?” And while Smart is great on that show, I can’t help but feel like I’ve seen her play that kind of sassy, sarcastic character before.

Anyway, there were lots more winners and losers, of course: Check out E!’s scorecard here for more.

And keep reading to see who else scored—and bombed—on TV’s biggest night. And not necessarily because they were accepting an award…
WINNERS

• JULIA LOUIS-DREYFUS. Her reaction to winner Tina Fey’s announcement that her husband tells her to act like JLD whenever she doesn’t know how to play a scene was awesome. Her mock eye-roll and thumbs up to the camera was priceless. Not to mention, the 47-year-old rocked a form-fitting Narciso Rodriguez gown way better than any other gal on the red carpet—including teenyboppers like Hayden Panettiere.

• RICKY GERVAIS. The man single-handedly saved the ceremony from being a complete and total bore. He brought down the house by bantering with Steve Carell about stealing his Emmy from last year. (Presenters Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert had “given” the award to their pal, Carell, as a joke because Gervais wasn’t there.) And props to Carell for being a really, really good sport.

• KATHY GRIFFIN. Normally, I think Griffin is pretty crass—which would be fine, if she were actually funny every now and then. But having her scream “Get up!” when the audience didn’t pay what she felt was proper respect to Don Rickles was a welcome wake-up moment in this snorefest.

LOSERS

• REALITY SHOW HOSTS. Ugh. There is no other word. Who on earth approved that rambling hot mess of an intro by Probst, Mandel, Seacrest, Bergeron and Klum? Bergeron got it right by staying mostly silent during that train wreck, rolling his eyes. And I know Heidi Klum is a model, and everyone’s already ogled her lady bits in the Victoria’s Secret catalog, but having William Shatner come onstage to rip off her clothes? It would have been offensive if it hadn’t been so terribly, terribly pathetic. And BTW, Heidi, if you’re going to host a TELEVISION awards show, at least do a little prep work. David Boreanaz is a star of “Bones,” not “The Bones.” Sheesh.

• JOSH GROBAN. Okay, Josh, we got the hint that you were trying to shake your classy image when you did a cameo in Sarah Silverman’s Matt Damon video. But singing a medley of TV theme songs? Sigh. Did they only tell you that you had to include the “South Park” theme seconds before you went onstage? Because that’s the only logical reason for agreeing to this horrific performance.

• CHRISTINA DeROSA. Don’t know who she is? Me neither. And an IMDB search didn’t help much. Yet she was one of this year’s random unknowns who somehow wrangle an invite to the ceremony and don a wacky outfit in order to get on the “worst dressed” lists.

Hey, any publicity is good publicity, right? Actually … NO! There is no reason to prance down a red carpet dressed as a flamenco dancer. Nor did we need to see a fan-shaped handbag to understand the look you were going for. And the stripper heels didn’t help either. Yuck.

(UPDATE: Plenty of websites are saying the above fashion horror is Alyssa Milano, even though ABC has officially ided her as DeRosa. I can only hope and pray that Milano’s publicist is working overtime to disassociate her from this monstrosity…)

But turning our attention to a GOOD fashion moment, let’s leave off by giving our own Remote Access award for Best Style Tranformation to Kate Flannery.

If you don’t recognize her from this photo, she plays the normally dumpy Meredith on “The Office.”

Can you believe it? Talk about a fashion moment! You go, Kate.
(Photos courtesy of ABC)

The bad: I swear the only reason “The Wire” isn’t among the best drama nominees is because lazy Emmy voters—i.e. most of them—never saw the show. Despite a phenomenal fifth and final season, it’s only up for one writing award. Its only other nomination, also for writing, was back in 2005.

Geez. Where’s the acting love for Lance Riddick (Daniels), Clarke Johnson (Gus), Michael K. Williams (Omar) or Sonja Sohn (Kima)? The only rationale for no acting nominations I can think of is that so many talented “Wire” actors have split the vote over the last five seasons.

“John Adams” led the Emmy nomination pack with 23, and “Mad Men” (17) and “Damages” (16) were the first basic-cable series to be up for top drama.

I’m sure you’ll hear more Emmy commentary from many of us in the weeks to come before the Sept. 21 broadcast, but here’s the crucial info you need to know.

Drama: “Boston Legal,” “Damages,” “Dexter,” “House,” “Lost” and “Mad Men.”

Comedy: “Curb Your Enthusiasm,” “Entourage,” “The Office,” “30 Rock” and “Two and a Half Men.”

Best actor—drama: Gabriel Byrne (“In Treatment”), Bryan Cranston (“Breaking Bad”), Michael C. Hall (“Dexter”), Jon Hamm (“Mad Men”), Hugh Laurie (“House”) and James Spader (“Boston Legal”).

Best actress—drama: Glenn Close (“Damages”), Sally Field (“Brothers and Sisters”), Mariska Hargitay (“Law & Order: Special Victims Unit”), Holly Hunter (“Saving Grace”) and Kyra Sedgwick (“The Closer”).

Best actor—comedy: Alec Baldwin (“30 Rock”), Steve Carell (“The Office”), Lee Pace (“Pushing Daisies”), Tony Shalhoub (“Monk”) and Charlie Sheen (“Two and a Half Men”).

Best actress—comedy: Christina Applegate (“Samantha Who?”), America Ferrera (“Ugly Betty”), Tina Fey (“30 Rock”), Julia Louis-Dreyfus (“The New Adventures of Old Christine”) and Mary-Louise Parker (“Weeds”).

And here’s the complete list of 2008 Emmy nominees.

UPDATE: More good news/bad news, this time in the category of best supporting actress in a comedy series. A long-overdue and well-deserved nod has been given to “Saturday Night Live’s” Amy Poehler, but how in the world is Jenna Fischer snubbed for her work on “The Office”? Instead, the category includes Jean Smart for “Samantha Who?” and Holland Taylor on “Two and a Half Men.” As Poehler herself on Weekend Update would say, “Really?!”

(Photo courtesy of Fox.)

Last Wednesday, it was announced that NBC ordered six episodes of “Thank God You’re Here,” an improvisational comedy series that started in Australia and has the backing of FremantleMedia North America, the producers of “American Idol.”

With celebrity guests competing without a script, the show will be hosted and produced by “In Living Color” alum David Alan Grier and judged by “The Kids In The Hall” alum Dave Foley. The pilot episode features Jennifer Coolidge, Bryan Cranston, Joel McHale and Wayne Knight.

Before improv nuts (like me) can celebrate what could be perceived as continued legitimization of scriptless thee-ay-ter, Variety brings us back down to earth. Find out why after the break.

According to Variety, “The acquisition is part of NBC’s stated policy of looking for more cost-effective solutions for its 8 to 9 p.m. slots, rather than relying exclusively on expensive laffers or dramas.”

In other words, scripts—and more accurately, writers—are considered too costly. Who needs writers anyway?

Hopefully, my boss still does.