Oh, little J., little J. Who would have thought you were such a worthy adversary?

You had your gloriously accessorized moment in the sun, via a well-aimed dollop of yogurt (fat-free, I’m sure).

But one stolen Valentino and a humiliating birthday party later, we were sure you were down for the count. Then out the window you go, ready for another smackdown with the disgraced Queen B.

And you won.

O. M. F. G.

Looks like it won’t be quite so easy for Blair to regain her status as NYC’s No. 1 teen bee-yotch.

Spring Break is over, Upper East Siders, and isn’t life grand?

“Gossip Girl” came back with a vengeance last night, complete with revenge plots, multiple felonies, fuzzy handcuffs and a box full o’ porn.

The hour started out with an anxiety dream of Blair’s: She’s starring in “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” again, in the rain searching for Cat. Except Nate/Fred shows up and calls her Jenny. Everyone get the irony?

Back in the real world, Serena has to drag Blair to the first day back at school, telling her everyone will have forgotten about her sex scandal.

Of course, they haven’t—which leads to the Jenny-led yogurt-flinging incident.

Seems that power’s gone to little J.’s head, only she doesn’t have the bucks to keep up with the rich girls. She’s sold her precious sewing machine, among other things, so she can afford fancy dinners and Dolce dresses.

So you know it’s only a matter of time before her plan to fit in with her newfound “friends” goes very, very wrong.

Read more of this entry »

Spotted: The young cast of “Gossip Girl” on the cover of New York magazine.

In their underwear.

With all the S-E-X on the show—which returns with all-new episodes tonight (8 p.m., the CW)—I’m guessing the actors are used to posing in their skivvies by now.

But beyond that, New York poses a pretty provocative theory in its main story: That “Gossip Girl” is the greatest teen drama of all time.

Better than “90210?”

Greater than “The O.C.?”

More fabulous than “Dawson’s Creek?”

You decide.

And tune in here tomorrow for a recap of tonight’s installment: “The Blair Bitch Project.”

(Photo courtesy of the CW)

The Hollywood Reporter has had sit-downs with network entertainment presidents this week, and I was able to glean a few interesting tidbits from them.

• The CW (Dawn Ostroff): Reaper and Aliens in America have not been canceled. They have not been picked up, either, but they haven’t been canceled. The network seeks to cater toward young women, so Gossip Girl and the new 90210 spinoff are perfect for that demographic. Seems as if the network’s willing to give shows a chance to catch on (of course, it’s easier to do that when you’re the bottom-ranked network —  nowhere to go but up).

• Fox (Kevin Reilly): Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles has already started staffing for a fall season. The network’s looking for the next That ’70s Show or Malcolm in the Middle to “bring young comedy loyalists back to the network.”

• CBS (Nina Tassler): Shark is still on the bubble. Cane is a longshot to return. Moonlight has a decent shot, as it wins its time period. The New Adventures of Old Christine and How I Met Your Mother aren’t a lock to return, but they’re looking good. Comedy is good. She mostly sidestepped any mention of Jericho.

OMG!

The new print ads touting the upcoming episodes of “Gossip Girl” are pretty racy, but they’re nothing compared to the show’s new crop of TV commercials.

Check out the antics of S., B., N. and C. here and here and decide for yourself if the onscreen promos are way too much, considering that the characters are teen-agers.

Then again, if you think that, then you’re probably not watching the show anyway.

But for those who do, don’t forget that “GG” moves to a new day and time when it returns next week (April 21) —  Mondays at 8 p.m.

When the CW drama resumes, Michelle Trachtenberg joins the cast as evil Georgina Sparks, who comes back to NYC to cause trouble for reformed bad girl, Serena.

She doesn’t make her “GG” debut until April 28, but click through for a preview of what to expect…

Read more of this entry »

“Gossip Girl” has caused some controversy for its all-too-real depiction of teen sex, drugs and drinking, but has the CW gone too far with its new ad campaign for the show?

Posters promoting the drama’s April 21 return (and a new Monday 8 p.m. timeslot) have been leaked online, and they’re definitely the cause of some raised eyebrows.

Click here to view the saucy shot, but let me paint a word picture for the faint of heart:

A blurry Serena and Nate photographed during an—um—passionate act. With the letters “OMFG” printed across the picture. (And if you can’t figure out what that acronym stands for, go ask any 12-year-old text-addicted girl…)

Now, as any “GG” fan worth her salt knows, that photo isn’t from an upcoming show. God, the S. and N. hookup is SOOO old news.

That scene is from a flashback in an early episode that explains why Serena left town (for “GG” newcomers, Nate was the boyfriend of Serena’s best friend, Blair, when they slept together).

So why use it at all? Like, DUH, because sex sells, people! And what better promotion for a returning freshman show than a carefully concocted controversy?

Anyhow, I hear there’s an equally racy promo featuring Chuck and Blair, too, but I haven’t been able to locate it yet. (Give me time, give me time … or send me links, send me links!)

Meanwhile, click through to check out a few stills and the plot synopsis from that April 21 episode, cheekily titled, “The Blair Bitch Project.”

Read more of this entry »

“Gossip Girl” fans started buzzing over the weekend after TV Guide’s Michael Ausiello reported that one of the show’s male characters will be revealed as gay when the show returns with new episodes on April 21.

So let’s join the guessing game!

Will it be Serena’s lovebug, Dan? (After all, as Ausiello and devotees of the “GG” novels note, Dan played both sides in the books….)

Or perhaps Blair’s main man, Nate?

Or evil Chuck Bass, who’s known for his womanizing?

And don’t forget, there’s always….

Read more of this entry »

Nothing like replacing Marissa Cooper with Buffy’s little sis.

Looks like Michelle Trachtenberg—formerly seen on “Buffy the Vampire Slayer”—has snagged the buzzy role of Georgina Sparks, one of Serena’s ex-friends who’s back in town to stir up some trouble for the reformed bad girl.

“O.C.” starlet Mischa Barton had supposedly been up for the part.

The Hollywood Reporter says that Trachtenberg will come on board during the show’s May sweeps.

But you won’t have to wait that long for new “GG” eps.

The show returns on April 21, in its new Monday at 8 p.m. timeslot, followed by “One Tree Hill.”

Oh, the drama!

(Photo by the Associated Press) 

Sadly, the likely answer to that exclamation-point laden question is a resounding, “Uh, like, noooo?!?”

Despite the rumor that Gawker.com started last week, it doesn’t look like former “O.C.” star Mischa Barton’s headed to the Upper East Side anytime soon.

But in true “Gossip Girl” style, it looks like Miss Mischa’s still causing some drama.

E! Online’s Kristin Dos Santos dishes that M was offered a recurring role as one of Serena’s old friends, but the nasally-voiced actress’s reps say that reports of her joining the show are “not true.”

Of course, TV Guide’s Michael Ausiello says there’s more to THAT story. According to him, Mischa seriously dissed her old “O.C.” boss, Josh Schwartz, now the head honcho on “GG.”

Ausiello’s sources say that Mischa leaked the news of the offer, then her people leaked the news that she’d turned the offer down. That way, it seemed like she’s still in demand in Hollywood, despite her recent DWI and drug possession arrest.

But here’s the tacky part: Mischa’s reps supposedly told the press before they even told Schwartz and Co.

Read more of this entry »

Gossip Girl, One Tree Hill, Smallville, Supernatural, Everybody Hates Chris and America’s Next Top Model are a lock to return in the fall on The CW, the network announced today.

Top Model was a no-brainer, as it’s the network’s most popular show. It’s getting not one, but two “cycles,” the 11th and 12th.

From there on out, it’s interesting how The CW described the other five shows.

Gossip Girl was “buzz-worthy” and a “freshman hit.” That and One Tree Hill (sixth season) are “the top-ranked shows on television with a concentration of women 18-34 viewers.” Well, then!

The two sci-fi shows were dubbed the “long-running Thursday night team” of Smallville (its 8th season) and Supernatural (its fourth).

Poor Everybody Loves Chris. It’s merely a “critically acclaimed comedy” (fourth season). (But its reruns did get picked up by Nick at Night.)

No word on how many shows each will get, but that’s good news for the actors and writers and everyone else associated with the six shows.

Will Reaper get a season 2? Aliens in America? One can hope. Aliens started its run of eight new episodes Sunday and Reaper gets its first new episode in months this next Thursday in Supernatural’s regular slot (up against Lost. Yeah, that’s good scheduling.) (Note, being of little brain, I snagged the wrong scheduling press release from The CW and thought I had the current week; Reaper is on this week, but it’s the one where he starts dating Cady, the final one before its long, horrible hiatus. Below are the descriptions for the next two new episodes, which start next week, not this. Sorry (and thanks!), Erika!)

Both have so much promise and intelligent humor. And besides, Ray Wise as Satan is just the best bit of casting, like, ever.

Here’s the info on the March 13 episode:

JAMIE KENNEDY GUEST STARS — Sam (Bret Harrison) tries to save an untalented musician (guest star Jamie Kennedy) from selling his soul to the Devil (Ray Wise) to become a rock star. Meanwhile, Sock (Tyler Labine) is stunned when his mother (guest star Marilyn Norry) returns from Las Vegas and announces she got married. He refuses to accept her new husband (guest star Henry Nah), so he moves in with Sam. Rick Gonzalez, Missy Peregrym, Valarie Rae Miller, Donavan Stinson and Andrew Airlie also star. James Head directed the episode written by James Eagan (#111).

Here’s the March 20 ep, “Unseen”:

SOCK CONVINCES SAM AND BEN TO MOVE IN WITH HIM — After his mom kicks him out of the house, Sock (Tyler Labine) convinces Sam (Bret Harrison) and Ben (Rick Gonzalez) to move with him to a condo. The three are overjoyed after they meet their new neighbors, Steve (guest star Michael Ian Black) and Tony (guest star Ken Marino), a gay couple who spoiled them with home-cooked meals and their favorite drinks. The guys become overly dependent on Steve and Tony and decide they are their new replacement parents. Strange things start happening whenever Sam is around Cady (guest star Jessica Stroup), reopening his suspicions that she is the Devil’s (Ray Wise) daughter. Missy Peregrym, Valarie Rae Miller, Donavan Stinson and Andrew Airlie also star. Michael Robison directed the episode written by Treena Hancock & Melissa Byer (#112).

And here’s the description of Sunday’s ep of Aliens, titled “Hunting”:

INTO THE WOODS — When the high school conducts career aptitude testing, Raja (Adhir Kalyan) is told he should become a doctor, but Justin (Dan Byrd) shows no aptitude for any particular career. Franny (Amy Pietz) and Gary (Scott Patterson) put so much pressure on Justin to choose a career path, that he escapes to the home of his buddy Dooley (Adam Rose), where he notices that Dooley’s father is a stay-at-home-dad. Justin’s announcement that he has found his calling and plans to stay home and nurture his future family convinces Gary that a “manly” hunting trip with the boys is in order. Unfortunately, Raja’s fascination with Gary’s crossbow results in an embarrassing accident. Meanwhile, the normally close mother/daughter relationship between Franny and Claire (Lindsey Shaw) turns combative and leads to a confrontation in a local nightclub. Daisy Mayer directed the episode written by Robia Rashid (#111).

And here’s the March 16 ep, titled “Community Theater”:

JUSTIN AND FRANNY STAR IN “RENT” — Franny’s (Amy Pietz) community theater group puts on a production of “Rent,” and when she can’t get Justin (Dan Byrd) to audition for a part, she convinces him to at least join the stage crew so they can have some quality mother/son time. When Justin meets the cute, artsy leading actress Zoe (guest star Larisa Oleynik), he auditions for the male lead and lands the part, giving him an excuse to spend time with Zoe. The two become inseparable, but the friendship is damaged when Zoe discovers that Justin has let his buddies believe that he and Zoe are having sex. Meanwhile, Claire (Lindsey Shaw) joins the teen hotline at school, but finds that she isn’t able to help anyone. Feeling bad for her, Raja (Adhir Kalyan) calls in using a fake name and an American accent and begins telling Claire his troubles. Michael Fresco directed the episode written by Sam Lyborune (#112).

And the March 23 ep, “One Hundred Thousand Miles”:

RAJA RUNS AWAY — The Tolchucks are set to fly to Vancouver for a family vacation, but when Raja (Adhir Kalyan) begins praying at the airport, the family is questioned and the trip is postponed. Feeling that the family resents him and has never understood him, Raja leaves the Tolchuck’s home and asks Mr. Matthews (Christopher B. Duncan) to place him with a new family. Guilt-ridden and frantic to find Raja, the Tolchucks turn to the local mosque, where Franny (Amy Pietz) and Claire (Lindsey Shaw) meet a Muslim mother (guest star Nimet Kanji) and teenage daughter (guest star Sunita Prasad) who are hosting a German exchange student (guest star Lars Anderson). Meanwhile, Gary (Scott Patterson) and Justin (Dan Byrd) set off in search of Raja and share a rare father/son bonding moment. Fred Savage directed the episode written by Richard Day (#113).

Yep, Fred “Wonder Years” Savage is directing. Hey, if anyone knows anything about playing the angst of youth, it’s him.

Photos (top row: Gossip Girl, One Tree Hill; center row: America’s Next Top Model; bottom row: Everybody Hates Chris, Smallville, Supernatural) courtesy of The CW.

The shows are: Cold Case, Criminal Minds, all three CSIs, Ghost Whisperer, NCIS, Numb3rs, The Big Bang Theory, Two and a Half Men and Without a Trace. Reality fans? Never fear. CBS already gave Survivor and The Amazing Race nods for next season.

So what does that mean for fan favorite Moonlight, plus semi-veteran shows How I Met Your Mother, Rules of Engagement and The New Adventures of Old Christine?

Basically, from what I can gather from around the blogosphere, it doesn’t mean anything good, but it doesn’t mean anything bad. In other words, “At this point, we don’t know.” (Bonus points to anyone who knows what movie that line is from and who spake it.)

Then, The CW also announced when it expects to bring its series back from their strike-induced hiatuses (hiati?), and how many more episodes they’ll have (NBC and CBS already did this, read their dates here.):

Read more of this entry »

With the writers’ strike nearing an end—YAhoo!—it looks like many of our favorite shows will be back on the air by spring.

“The Office,” “30 Rock,” “Gossip Girl,” “Grey’s Anatomy,” “Desperate Housewives” and more will likely be able to churn out a handful of new episodes by April.

But others—mostly newbies like “Dirty Sexy Money,” “Pushing Daisies” and “Chuck”—  probably won’t be back until the fall.

Then there’s “24,” which won’t return until January 2009, returning to the show’s standard winter premiere strategy—but leaving fans without their Jack Bauer fix for nearly TWO years.

As for serialized dramas like “Heroes” and “Lost,” the decision is a bit more difficult.

Networks and producers are trying to figure out if it’s worth the trouble to produce just a few episodes for the rest of this season, leaving viewers hanging in the middle of convoluted storylines until September.

“Lost” exec producer Damon Lindelof seems to think the island drama can crank out more than the 8 episodes we’ve been promised this season—but then again, it’s all up to ABC as to when they’d air.

E!’s Kristin Dos Santos got the scoop from show runners for some of Remote Access’ faves, including all of the above mentioned shows.  Check it out here!

(Photos courtesy of ABC, FOX and NBC) 

Gossipmonger Ben Widdicombe dished some juicy “GG” dirt in his New York Daily News column yesterday: The identity of the show’s unseen narrator/blogger.

The big reveal came after Mr. W wrote about an ongoing, on-set catfight between the two female stars, Blake Lively (Serena) and Leighton Meester (Blair).

(First, a side comment on that tidbit: Yawn. Seems like that’s the go-to rumor for shows involving strong, beautiful women, a la “Sex and the City.”)

Anyway, the big news is that GG is supposedly one of the male characters, and I agree with NY Magazine that the supposed snarkmeister is pretty unbelievable.

Read more of this entry »

Brrr!

New York has enjoyed unseasonably warm temperatures recently—except for the arctic blast that shot through the city last night, somewhere between 9 and 10 p.m.

That was when Blair Waldorf got the cold shoulder from nearly every friend (and frenemy) she thought she had.

Once Gossip Girl found out about B.’s pregnancy scare and how she bedded best friends Nate and Chuck in the same week—Chuck was the tipster, of course—her reputation went into the toilet with Blair’s dinner.

Talk about some mean girls! B’s little group of sycophants turned on her immediately, which seemed rather Victorian of them considering they were all drinking, drugging and groping each other in the school pool just last week.

But then one of the random no-names said something about Blair’s judgmental behavior in the past: Looks like this semi-scandal was simply the excuse the ladies needed to dethrone the “Queen B.”

And who’d have thought that sweet Jenny Humphrey would be the one to bring her down by telling Nate about Blair and Chuck?

Read more of this entry »

I don’t feel bad in saying that tonight’s episode/season finale of “GG” will revolve around Blair’s pregnancy scare. That’s probably the least spoiley-spoiler that I’ll write this year.

The CW’s been teasing us to make it seem as if the potential preggo is Serena, but come on, Blair’s newest drama is, like, TV-dom’s worst-kept secret.

Read more of this entry »

Sniff.

Tomorrow night’s episode officially marks the end of the all-too-short—but thoroughly fabulous—first season of the CW’s “Gossip Girl.”

(For the thousandth time, damn that writers’ strike!)

In what’s likely to be the final installment for a good long while, we find out exactly who is having a pregnancy scare—and whether that tell-tale line shows up on the test.

I know that we’re supposed to think it’s Serena, since our favorite snarky blogger, “GG,” spots her in a drugstore buying a home pregnancy test.

But judging from the title of the episode, “The Thin Line Between Chuck and Nate,” I’m guessing it’s Blair who’s possibly preggers.

Anyway, the CW plans to show re-runs of “GG” after this week, but the network’s wisely moving the teen drama to Mondays at 8 p.m., starting Jan. 28.
The CW says the shift is because they want “GG” to be exposed to more viewers by airing on a different night.

But it’s really because the show will likely get crushed in its current Wednesday time slot by a little something called “American Idol.”

“GG” will have a partner in crime, too, on Feb. 18, when the reality show, “Pussycat Dolls Present: Girlicious,” makes its debut at 9 p.m.

Say it with me now: Ick…

Read more of this entry »

The CW today released its midseason schedule and it had some good news for Reaper fans — Satan and Co. comes back at 8 p.m. Jan. 15 (its regular Tuesday timeslot) and then returns to a new, Thursday timeslot on Feb. 28, following Smallville.

Here’s the lineup:

Read more of this entry »

As usual, thanks to Ain’t It Cool News for compiling this list of all the upcoming season finale dates, brought to you by the writer’s strike. Basically, most series have very nearly run out of new material, filmed before the strike began. Though this list also includes season finales of many of the shows, such as Jericho and Kyle XY, that start this month and next, as well.

The shows that appear to be missing are the reality and game shows (do they ever really end?), plus a handful of others, such as New Amsterdam and Canterbury’s Law, which were just slipped into the Fox schedule. Amsterdam, as I blogged yesterday, airs its final two episodes in a two-hour finale on April 7. Law begins the next week, on April 14.

I think these omissions are due to the fact that they all end after March, and this list includes all the season finales through March.

Here’s a complete listing, by date, starting (gasp!) tonight:

Read more of this entry »

OK, Chuck was the one who broke into the school swimming pool.

Nope, sorry, it was Blair. Right, Nate?

Oops, Nate confessed to the new headmistress to protect Blair, but it was actually Serena who had the key to the school (one that was so large it must have dated back to the 1800s; they haven’t changed the locks since then?) As she later confesses to Dan, it was a remnant of her Slutzilla days: She “dated” the swim team captain when she was a freshman.

So it was a merry-go-round of who’s-going-to-take-the-blame last night on “Gossip Girl,” when the gang sneaks into the school swimming pool for a martini- and Ecstasy-filled night of fun.

Of course, it all goes wrong when random classmate Andrew Collins bangs his noggin on a pole and nearly drowns.

That leads to an investigation by the new cranky head honcho—and one of the most ridiculous, sloppy storylines that the show’s employed so far.

I can suspend my disbelief and pretend that to Upper East Siders, living in Williamsburg (like Dan does) means that you’re poor.

But give me a break: These kids broke into a school, a student is severely hurt and there’s photographic evidence of illegal drug and alcohol use on the premise—yet the punishment for most of them is a 10,000 word essay?!?

The only one who really gets into trouble is the one who literally opened the door to the school? You have GOT to be kidding me.

Read more of this entry »

How many literary references can you spot in the CW’s “Gossip Girl” ?

There’s the whole “Les Liaisons Dangereuses” gamesmanship between the overtly venal Chuck Bass (Ed Westwick) and the seemingly virtuous Blair Waldorf (Leighton Meester), the Vicomte de Valmont and Madame de Merteuil of our upper-crusty Manhattan prep-school tale. (The point is underscored in “School Lies,” the episode airing at 9 p.m. Wednesday on Channel 11 locally, and then driven home in “A Thin Line Between Chuck and Nate,” on Jan. 9. )

Read more of this entry »

Say that five times fast, right?

Well, technically, it’s actor Ed Westwick—he plays smarmy rich boy Chuck on “Gossip Girl”—who’s doing double duty as a musician.

The 20-year-old Brit is also the frontman for the indie rock band, The Filthy Youth, which has been playing gigs around London.

Being a show that prides itself on finding the latest cool music—which also promotes a project by a CW star, of course—”GG” will be featuring some of the band’s songs in next week’s episode (Jan. 2).

Read more of this entry »