Amid the infectious, ABBA-style melodies and biting Rician lyrics there’s an intriguing subtext of Ugly Americanism. The American player is an obnoxious figure indeed — controlled, of course, by the all-powerful, money-grubbing American media — while the Russian is the soulful, self-sacrificing hero of the tale. (In truth, Fischer was an extremely demanding, neurotic individual who ended his days an embittered exile spewing anti-Semitic, anti-American rant.)

Though no Kenneth Branagh in the theatrical department, Grobin manages to convey the existential turmoil of a man who understands that he is a mere pawn in a bigger game. And his voice has a certain power and beauty of tone, never more so than in the Act 1-ending “The Anthem,” which brings down the house in London’s Royal Albert Hall.

It’s more than can be said for Menzel and Pascal, who co-starred in the overrated “Rent.” Her thin, angular voice and looks are suited to the Hungarian business manager who has had a hard childhood behind the Iron Curtain and finds life no easier now that she must choose between her love for one man and her loyalty to the other. Ultimately, however, the harshness of Menzel’s voice and appearance (encased in a lumpy black-and-white gown) defeats the performance.

As for Pascal, beefier than in his “Rent” days, he’s appropriately petulant. But his voice becomes strained whenever he reaches for a high note, which is often.

What’s really surprising is just how dry even the choral singing is. Apart from Groban, there’s just no lushness here.

”’Chess’ in Concert” isn’t as bad as the recent, disastrous concert “Camelot,” with Gabriel Byrne woefully miscast as Arthur. But it in no way approaches the transcendence of the concert “South Pacific,” with Brian Stokes Mitchell and Reba McEntire heading a sublime cast.

Consider it checkmated.

Now we know why. Some shady looking lawyer dudes show up at her house with a court order. They represent a client they can’t name, but they want blood from her and Aaron to run some tests. Why? To determine their actual “relationship.”

EEK! Someone’s let the cat out of the bag. The question is: Who?

Not to mention: Where are faux Mommy and son going? Is this how Kate gets convinced to go back to the island?

Go here to check out the entire scene: I guarantee you’ll get the shivers!

(Photo courtesy of ABC)

The wildly appropriate song was set to footage from “Lost”—some old, but lots of new snippets from Season 5.

Juliet and Sawyer running for their lives! Desmond and Penny in bed! Jack and Sayid fighting! Kate and Aaron packing their suitcases!

If you missed the video, go here at YouTube to check it out. Then feel free to dissect every scene in the comments section below, of course!

I’ll get you started. Did you see a flash of a strange logo featuring a tiger and a rising sun?

Those crafty “Lost” folks are at it again: The logo is for Ajira Airways, which – not surprisingly – has its own website. There’s not much on it – yet – except for the show’s Season 5 tagline: “Destiny Calls.”

So what does it mean? No one knows yet. But here are some clues:

E!’s TV diva, Kristin, notes that the tiger is the national animal of Korea, the homeland of Sun and Jin.

A smart fanatic at DarkUFO points out that Ajira means “island” in Hindi.

Looks like the Oceanic 6 is going back, everyone! They’re going BAAAAAAACK!

Only 61 days until Jan. 21…

(Photo courtesy of ABC)

Officially, Reiko’s character is Amy, a smart, outdoorsy type who’s looking for the right man. However, it’s pretty well known that those sneaky “Lost” casting folks often lie about characters’ names and/or descriptions because of leaks.

Entertainment Weekly’s Michael Ausiello recently caught up with Reiko, who would only say that she was having a little trouble keeping all the confusing storylines straight (uh, us too!) and that her character will have some trouble with a few interested suitors.

Ausiello is going with the theory that Amy – let’s just go with that name for now – is part of the Dharma Initiative. And that Ben transported the island back to the ‘70s when he turned the frozen donkey wheel, which would be about when those Dharma folks brought Ben and his dad into the fold.

Not sure if that’s true, of course: Amy could be part of some flashback sequences, not an actual time-travel scenario. Still, we know that time travel factors greatly into the show’s mythology, and the producers are saying that the upcoming season will be really “science-fictiony.”

Regardless of whether Amy is part of the past – or past-present – the show’s fanatics seem pretty confident about one thing.

That she’s somehow connected to Ben’s childhood friend, Annie.

Remember Annie?

She was the cute little Dharma kid who made a big impression on Ben.

She was the only one to celebrate Ben’s birthday growing up: His own drunken dad wouldn’t because it reminded him that Ben’s mother died giving birth.

One of her birthday gifts was a set of carved dolls meant to represent each of them; she kept the boy doll and he kept the girl. That way they’d never be apart. We know that meant a lot to Ben, because he still had doll as an adult.

But we never learned more about Annie – most importantly, whether she died during the Purge, which Ben helped set up.  And the producers have said in the past that Annie will be a big part of upcoming storylines.

Anyway, some viewers are speculating that Amy IS a grown-up Annie, given the time loop possibility. I’m no sci-fi expert by any stretch, but that doesn’t seem possible to me: If the island went back in time, wouldn’t Annie still be a child?

Others are saying that Amy is Annie’s mom. Or that if Amy IS somehow a grown-up Annie, she’s the mother of none other than “I’ve been here before” Charlotte Lewis.

Sure, there’s that whole the island-kills-pregnant-women problem. But what if Annie/Amy got off the island and was able to give birth? (There was that submarine, after all, and it would explain why Charlotte didn’t grow up on the island.)

Or maybe the difficulties started after the Purge? (The island’s karmic payback to the Hostiles for killing all those people?)

Clearly, it’s been too long since “Lost” has been on the air, because my brain is too easily wearied by these gymnastics. I’m sure there are flaws in this thinking, so go to it, Lost-philes!

Who do YOU think Reiko will show up as after the show premieres on Jan. 21?

(Photos courtesy of ABC)

The pair came in at No. 17, with Robert Downey Jr. topping the chart. (Well, he WAS Iron Man.)

Actors Yunjin Kim and Daniel Dae Kim were interviewed about the honor, too, and they gave a wee bit of info on what to expect in the upcoming season. (Sun’s isolated from the rest of the Oceanic 6; there’s multiple timelines going on.)

It’s very cool to see the island mystery acknowledged, and the mag couldn’t have picked better characters to represent the show: Sun and Jin were a big part of the series’ supercharged season last year.

I mean, Sun’s heartwrenching screams when she saw Jin blown up on the freighter? The fan freakout at the flash-forward/flashback episode that showed the birth of their daughter? The OMG moment we learned that Sun has been telling everyone that Jin died in the plane crash?

And the biggest question of all: Is Jin really dead?

That question will be—we hope—answered when Season 5 kicks off on Jan. 21.

Let the countdown continue…

(Photos courtesy of ABC)

Set your clocks: It’s now 72 days until our favorite show premieres!

Yup, I hear ABC has set Jan. 21 as the date for Season 5’s debut. And since it’s been so long since the Oceanic 6 was rescued and the island vanished, the network’s giving fans some extra love: Three whole hours of “Lost” goodness!

Hour one starts at 8 p.m.: It’s a clip show, for those who need a refresher course on the first four seasons. Hours two and three will be back-to-back showings of the first two new episodes: “Because You Left” and “The Lie.”

After that, the show will air in its regular time slot of Wednesdays at 9 p.m. (And for those whose brains have turned to frozen donkey wheel mush, that’s a switch from last season’s Thursday at 10 p.m. slot.)

So “Lost” will be taking over the spot now occupied by “Private Practice,” and we probably won’t hear where the Kate Walsh series will land until ABC decides whether it’s keeping the rest of its Wednesday night lineup—namely, “Pushing Daisies” and “Dirty Sexy Money.” (Please, please, pretty please!)

And speaking of other series and die-hard fans, “24” devotees now have another reason to jump on the “Lost” bandwagon.

Word is that Reiko Aylesworth—otherwise known as Tony Almeida’s late wife and fellow CTU agent, Michelle Dessler—is in talks to join the island folk.

Any thoughts on which “Lost” hottie she’ll be cozying up to?

Jack? Sayid?

Or maybe—gasp!—Sawyer?

Ponder that one—and those pretty pictures!—while the days and minutes tick away…

(Photos courtesy of ABC)

And need I say it again? If you want to remain spoiler-free, don’t keep reading!

Item #1: We’ll be seeing lots and lots of Juliet. 

Lots of fans worried that Season 5 would focus only on the Oceanic 6 and how they get back to the Who-Knows-Where-It-Is-Now island. While that is a big focus, TV Guide assures us that we’ll still see lots of the left-behind Losties. (Did you really think there would be a season without Sawyer?) It also looks like Juliet—who didn’t have a whole lot to do last year—will be a busy little beaver.

Anyone else think S &J make a super cute couple?

Item #2: Matthew Abaddon in cahoots with Charles Widmore? 

I already told you that Lance Reddick is on board for at least one more episode this season.

Here’s more on that: Entertainment Weekly’s Michael AusielloDarkUFO got a hold of the official titles for the first half-dozen eps. Go here to read ‘em and start trying to figure out who fits in where. No prizes for 5.06, that’s obviously Locke-centric and about his supposed suicide. (Whee, it sends shivers down my spine just thinking about it!!!)

Anyone else think 5.04 could be all about Aaron?

Item #4: When does “Lost” return?

OK, I don’t have an answer for this one. Ausiello thinks it’ll be back in last season’s Thursday 10 p.m. slot, which would mean either a time slot change or death for “Eli Stone.”  My guess is it’ll either be that or Wednesdays at 10, depending on whether ABC decides to order more episodes of “Eli” or “Dirty Sexy Money.” Unfortunately, I doubt both of those shows will continue into the spring. (Yet for some reason, we’ll get more of “According to Jim.” Go figure.)

Enjoy obsessing, Lost-philes! You’ll know more as soon as I do…

(Photos courtesy of ABC)

Does anyone have a paper bag? I’m pretty sure I’m hyperventilating.

GASP!

“Lost” Season 5 trailer’s been leaked to the Web.

GASP!

Click here to watch.

Hurry up, ABC’s already pulled it from You Tube!

Now, go to your quiet place, calm down, and discuss amongst yourselves.

(Photos courtesy of ABC)

Two minor, but way important characters—are there any who aren’t?!?—will be showing up in Season 5: Matthew Abaddon and Mrs. Hawking. (Need a detailed refresher on who they are? Just click on the links.)

We don’t yet know who Abaddon works for, and if he’s a good or a bad guy. So far, we know he’s the hospital orderly who suggested Locke go on his walkabout, he recruited the Freighter Four scientists for the island mission and he posed as an Oceanic executive when he visited a post-rescue Hurley in the institution.

But actor Lance Reddick—who is now starring on J.J. Abrams’ other hit show, “Fringe,” on FOX—told radio hosts Opie & Anthony earlier this week that he’s headed to Hawaii to shoot another episode.

And he promised that this one will tell us all a lot more about who Abaddon is.

As for Mrs. Hawking, played by Fionnula Flanagan, she’s the jewelry store employee who tells Desmond about how he is destined to go to the island.

And Entertainment Weekly’s Michael Ausiello is pinky-swearing that the creepy old lady is connected to a major character—besides Desmond!

That’s all for now, Lost-philes! I’ll keep ‘em comin’ as I hear ‘em. Hope these nuggets keep you filled with “Lost” goodness until the new year…

(Photos courtesy of ABC and FOX)

But why?

Well, E! supposedly has the scoopety-scoop on that one—and do I really need to say, “Stop reading now if you don’t want to know more?”

But if you do, click through for the details:

So here’s the deal:

Emmy nominee Michael Emerson—Mr. Benjamin Linus himself—recently said that the reason for the O6 round-up is a practical one: It has to do with science, not any of that mystic mumbo-jumbo.

And that practical matter is that the Sixers need to spread out to a bunch of off-island Dharma stations that somehow provide the portal to wherever the island’s gone. And a source tells E! that we’ve seen one of these stations before.

My guess is that’s the Antarctic listening station with those Portuguese-speaking dudes who worked for Penny (and detected the electromagnetic pulse that helped her track Desmond to the island). Another guess is that all of the Sixers will have to turn some kind of mechanism or fail-safe key—much like the one Desmond used before the hatch blew—at the same time.

But here’s something else that’s more concrete: Desmond will be back working with the Sixers!

DarkUFO has been getting lots of reports that current shooting in Hawaii has included lots of scenes with Desmond and various O6 members.

(Guess Des didn’t heed Jack’s advice to lay low.)

Anything else?

Why, since you asked so nicely, YES!

Several recent location shots have also featured a blue carpet cleaning van with the Cantor-Rainier logo.

Ponder that one, Lost-philes. We all know how “Lost” loves anagrams, so here’s some homework:

What’s the anagram for Cantor-Rainier?

(Photos courtesy of ABC) 

Boring? Never! Can’t get enough of those, I say.

The latest news—courtesy of Entertainment Weekly’s Ausiello Files—is that the show has finally hired a gal for what they’re calling the pivotal role of a dangerous European woman named Ilana.

Anyway, I suppose every black cloud has a silver lining, and in Robinson’s case, that lovely lining is “Lost.”

And for those thinking that this part is just another one-off for yet another elusive female—as in Elsa, the counter-spy killed by Sayid in last season’s jaw-dropping “The Economist” episode—never fear!

According to Ausiello, Ilana will be sticking around for awhile. Robinson’s deal is reportedly for a recurring role in Season 5, with the option of becoming a series regular in the show’s final season.

Until early next year, when “Lost” returns, we’ll just have to spend our time figuring out how Ilana factors into the Mystery Island puzzle…

(Cast photo courtesy of ABC)

Asked “How many new TV series will you watch at least one episode of this fall?”, the answer that got the most responses was “1 or 2,” with seven tallies.

This was my vote, for what it’s worth, because it takes a lot for me to sacrifice another hour or two for new series, so the pitches have to be particularly impressive or unique.

The lone new series I’m making a point to watch this fall is “Fringe,” and that’s primarily due to Lance Reddick, the actor known to faithful viewers of “The Wire” as Cedric Daniels. Other than that, nothing new on network TV interests me and I have about eight active shows that I keep up with on a regular or semi-regular basis.

Besides, I spend plenty of time doing things other than watch TV. That doesn’t make me a snob; my frequent use of semicolons does.

That’s due in part to the writers’ strike limiting production on pilots, resulting in networks having fewer choices from which to pick.

However, five votes were tallied among those who plan to watch at least one ep of “3 or4” new series, and an additional five were from RA readers who will watch “5 or more” series this fall. Hope you clear enough space on your DVRs, people.

A couple of voters said they’d watch no new series due to a lack of time and another voter said they’d watch none due to a lack of interest.

The next Remote Access poll is the brainchild of fellow Accessory Brian Howard: “What series from the last decade have you never seen but most want to catch up with?” My answer is “Lost,” because much like “The Wire,” which I have seen and love, the complex plots of the ABC drama and voluminous previous seasons are what keep me from tuning in.

Now, I know what some of you are thinking, and here’s my reply: This poll requires the honor code. We know how many of you RA readers watch “Jericho,” “The Wire” and “Deadwood,” so please don’t vote for your favorite show just to tilt the balance if you’ve seen one or more episodes. Play fair, kids.

Given that we last saw Ana buried in the island boneyard with her fellow murdered-by-Michael-victim, Libby, I agree that she’ll likely return as a ghost—just as Libby did in last season’s final hours.

Ausiello speculates that she’ll be part of a Hurley-centric installment, since Cheech Marin (Hurley’s dad) is scheduled to be in the same episode.

And it’s definitely interesting that Ana, Libby and Mr. Eko—all deceased, but important, figures from the Tail section—are being worked back into the show.

I’m curious to see if the producers actually convince Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje to return as Eko—in the flesh, that is. (Hurley was playing chess with an invisible Eko in the May season finale.)

At the recent Comic-Con, the Lost bosses said that they were sorry to see Eko’s storyline cut short in Season 3, but the actor didn’t like shooting in Hawaii, and he’d asked to be written off the show. Could they have been hinting that they’ve persuaded him to take a short trip back for the upcoming season?

So what’s the theory here, Lost-philes? Why are these Tailies coming back to the island?

And will you be glad to see Ana-Lucia again? I know there are lots of Ana haters out there, but I personally thought she was just a tough cookie with a lot more story to tell.

Don’t forget, she’s got connections to Jack and Christian Shephard, not to mention Hurley. (Her old LAPD partner, Big Mike, questioned Hurley after he returned home and got spooked by Ghost Charlie.)

So what unfinished business could she have with our Losties?

(Photo courtesy of the Associated Press)

Well, there’s no word on Lilly’s salary yet—or on whether the rest of the renegotiating ensemble cast will get a raise, too—but Fox must be one happy castaway.

The Hollywood Reporter says that the actor will now get about $225,000 per episode, up from the $150,000 he was making.

According to THR, that’s what the leading ladies of “Desperate Housewives”—also on ABC—are raking in.

Jack-haters may wonder if Fox is worth that much—or that much more than the rest of the Losties.

But is he worth significantly less than Zach Braff?

Last year, NBC promised the “Scrubs” star a reported $350,000-an-episode to bring the show back for another season—then the network dumped it because of low ratings.

ABC picked it up for its eighth year—presumably agreeing to Braff’s insane salary—and then buried the sitcom in mid-season.

Go figure.

(Photo courtesy of ABC)

The Hollywood Reporter says that ABC has quietly (until now, that is) started to re-negotiate contracts with our beloved show’s Jack and Kate to seriously bump up their paychecks.

Let’s do the math: At their CURRENT $150k hourly rate and 32 episodes to go before the series ends, the two actors would rake in $4.8 million.

There’s no telling what that number will go up to after their agents hustle for their 10 percent.

This is nothing new in Hollywood: Actors on shows that become big hits do this all the time. So Fox and Lilly aren’t really being greedy. It’s just show business as usual.

And spare me the whining about how they get paid more for a week’s work than most Americans earn in a few years: I know, life is unfair.

But in their wonderfully rich world, is it fair that Fox and Lilly get paid almost DOUBLE the salary of their co-stars? (THR puts the majority of the cast in the range of $80-90k per episode.)

That’s likely because Fox and Lilly are considered lead actors: That’s the category they get put in when it comes time to consider awards like the Emmys.

The rest of the ensemble are technically supporting players, even if Locke, Desmond, Sayid and Ben seemed to get just as much screen time as Jack and Kate last season. (Terry O’Quinn won last year’s Emmy in the supporting category, and Michael Emerson is nominated in the same group this year.)

Not surprisingly, THR says that once word of these talks leaked out, reps for a bunch of the other Losties started giving ABC a ringy-dingy about their own clients.

I’m guessing O’Quinn’s agent will be waving around that little gold statuette a lot and saying things like, “Dudes. Fox and Lilly haven’t ever even been NOMINATED.”

And Emerson’s might be overheard mumbling something like, “OK, so the other two are hot. Big deal. My man is freakin’ BEN! He’s eeevil. Or is he? Pay up.”

One more thing to put all this in perspective: Whatever they end up paying Fox and Lilly, it wonn’t compare to what the highest paid actor on TV is getting.

Who’s that, you ask? Click here and tell me if this doofus is worth $850,000 a week for basically playing himself?

And yes, that works out to just under $20 MILLION A YEAR.

That’s a hard one to swallow, so I’ll cleanse everyone’s palate with a little “Lost” scoop straight from Entertainment Weekly’s Doc Jensen: The name of Season 5’s premiere episode is “Because You Left.”

You’ve got about five months to dissect that one.

(Photos courtesy of ABC)

But damn, once those crazy island kids shower and put on some new clothes, they’re the sexiest castaways ever.

What the heck am I talking about? Well, even though “Lost” won’t be back for another six months, ABC just released a gallery of new photos of the individual actors. And in addition to shots in their usual island garb of jeans and T-shirts, there’s a second set of them all glammed up.

I mean, Kate, Sun and Juliet are seriously va-va-voom. Sawyer and Sayid are more smokin’ than usual. Even Hurley and Ben clean up impressively.

But there’s a lot more going on with these pictures than just looking at the pretty people. (Although that’s fun, too: I’m considering using the one of Jin as my screensaver.)

Now, seriously, what do these photos say about the upcoming Season 5? Because as any Lost-phile knows, there’s always hidden messages in anything the show puts out there.

Remember last year’s poster of the island’s reflection in the ocean? Sharp-eyed fans noticed that the image wasn’t of the island, but of a city skyline—hinting at Season 4’s main story arc of the Oceanic Six going home.

So what could a photo of Claire dressed in black mean for upcoming episodes? Are the producers acknowledging that she is indeed dead—or undead, kind of like Christian?

Here’s another one to ponder: Why is there a new picture of Michael? Why is actor Harold Perrineau listed with the other series regulars?

Michael obviously died in the finale’s freighter explosion—and it would seem that Perrineau’s rant about how the handling of his death had racist implications wouldn’t exactly encourage the producers to bring him back. Was it all an elaborate ruse to throw us off track?

Click through to check out the rest of the cast photos—and start wondering how they figure into the “Lost” world…

NAVEEN ANDREWS (Sayid)

HENRY IAN CUSICK (Desmond)

EMILIE de RAVIN (Claire)

MICHAEL EMERSON (Ben)

MATTHEW FOX (Jack)

JORGE GARCIA (Hurley)

DANIEL DAE KIM (Jin)

YUNJIN KIM (Sun)

EVANGELINE LILLY (Kate)

ELIZABETH MITCHELL (Juliet)

TERRY O’QUINN (Locke)

HAROLD PERRINEAU (Michael)

(Photos courtesy of ABC)

The show’s producers, Carlton Cuse and Damon Lindelof (a.k.a. Darlton), have been breaking radio silence at the convention for a few years now. And while they didn’t deliver any earth-shattering island news, there were some definite points of interest.

Mainly, that we haven’t seen the last of Locke or Jin!

We last saw Locke in the coffin during the finale’s last moments, and we haven’t learned the fate of Jin on the exploding freighter. But dead or not, don’t worry: Terry O’Quinn and Daniel Dae Kim aren’t unemployed.

Darlton confirmed that the two will be back in some capacity, and that death is a “relative term” on the show.

Same goes for Rousseau, who bit the bullet last season with Karl. We’ll be getting more info on her—FINALLY!—though the producers said it won’t necessarily be in a flashback.

In fact, speaking of flashbacks, that’s SOOO Season 4. We’re done with those—and flash-forwards, too.

The show will be time-hopping like Bunny  No. 15 on and off the island, and you’re not going to know where or WHEN you are. (The guy who makes the whooshing sound effect gets to keep his job, too—YAY!)

And who else will we be seeing more of?

• Daniel Faraday. Guess he survived being near the freighter-go-boom in that raft, but is he stranded in the ocean now that the island’s moved? And remember that notebook that he keeps writing stuff down in? Things like “Desmond Hume is my constant?” Well, Danny’s journal will be prominently featured next season.

• Richard Alpert. Thank goodness “Cane” was canceled! More will be revealed about the ageless wonder, and he may or may not have six toes (like the ancient island statue).

• Vincent the dog. Walt’s puppy lives! He’ll survive until the end of the series, too, but will he be reunited with his owner? There was no mention of whether WAAAALT needs to join the Oceanic 6 posse that needs to go back to the island.

That was about all of the high points, except for one: There was a showing of yet another Marvin Candle video.

Remember last year’s Comic-Con? That’s when fans got a glimpse of the now-infamous Orchid video that was so important in the finale.

This year—in what sounded like a goofy stunt—a “Dharma recruit” ran onstage yelling that he had an exclusive secret video.

Cheeseball presentation, yes, but the video was anything but.

Check it out for yourself here, but here’s the short version:

Our pal Marvin shows up again, except this time, he says he’s done with the “game,” and reveals his real name (or is it?) as Pierre Cheng. (No explanation is given for why he’s been using aliases in the other videos.)

He also claims to be an astro-physicist from Ann Arbor, Michigan, and that this video is being transmitted from 30 years in the past. He was about to be killed in a “violent purge” (presumably the one that Ben orchestrated) that he’s “powerless to escape.”

He then went on to say that if you’re watching the film now, he’s dead—but George W. Bush is the U.S. president and there’s something called the Internet. Uh oh, Marv’s been time-traveling!

So if our favorite Dharma scientist is dead, why is it important that he send this video? He says it’s so someone can reform the Dharma Initiative in the future and continue its important work. In another comment that possibly foreshadows a Season 5 theme, he adds, “Perhaps you’ll be able to find a way to save us, to change the past…”

Then he’s cut off by the unseen cameraman, who says, “This is useless,” and some fans are already speculating that the camera guy sounds an awful lot like Daniel Faraday! (Not too farfetched, since if you’ll recall that Daniel is a physicist, too.)

Whew, is your brain spinning? Darn you, Comic-Con, darn you! Now I’m going to spend the rest of my work day trolling fan forums and Lostpedia in search of new theories, AAAAAHHHH!

Ooh, but before I go, here is one little bit of info that could relate to future “Lost” happenings.

It was recently announced that HBO had changed its mind about renewing “Tell Me You Love Me,” starring a lady named Sonya Walger (better known to Losties as Penny Widmore).

“Lost” producers have said before that they would like to feature Penny more, but Walger’s been super-busy with other projects. Now that her bread-and-butter show’s been cancelled, will we see Miss Widmore more frequently?

Could it be that my Desmond-and-Penny-on-the-run-from-Ben theory for Season 5 could really, truly come true? I did correctly identify the finale’s advertised “spectacular kiss” as being between a reunited Demond and Penny. Could the rest of my insane ramblings become a “Lost” reality?

We’ll have to wait and see … and I’ll file more tidbits as I come across them, Lost-philes, I promise.

(Photos courtesy of ABC)

The bad: I swear the only reason “The Wire” isn’t among the best drama nominees is because lazy Emmy voters—i.e. most of them—never saw the show. Despite a phenomenal fifth and final season, it’s only up for one writing award. Its only other nomination, also for writing, was back in 2005.

Geez. Where’s the acting love for Lance Riddick (Daniels), Clarke Johnson (Gus), Michael K. Williams (Omar) or Sonja Sohn (Kima)? The only rationale for no acting nominations I can think of is that so many talented “Wire” actors have split the vote over the last five seasons.

“John Adams” led the Emmy nomination pack with 23, and “Mad Men” (17) and “Damages” (16) were the first basic-cable series to be up for top drama.

I’m sure you’ll hear more Emmy commentary from many of us in the weeks to come before the Sept. 21 broadcast, but here’s the crucial info you need to know.

Drama: “Boston Legal,” “Damages,” “Dexter,” “House,” “Lost” and “Mad Men.”

Comedy: “Curb Your Enthusiasm,” “Entourage,” “The Office,” “30 Rock” and “Two and a Half Men.”

Best actor—drama: Gabriel Byrne (“In Treatment”), Bryan Cranston (“Breaking Bad”), Michael C. Hall (“Dexter”), Jon Hamm (“Mad Men”), Hugh Laurie (“House”) and James Spader (“Boston Legal”).

Best actress—drama: Glenn Close (“Damages”), Sally Field (“Brothers and Sisters”), Mariska Hargitay (“Law & Order: Special Victims Unit”), Holly Hunter (“Saving Grace”) and Kyra Sedgwick (“The Closer”).

Best actor—comedy: Alec Baldwin (“30 Rock”), Steve Carell (“The Office”), Lee Pace (“Pushing Daisies”), Tony Shalhoub (“Monk”) and Charlie Sheen (“Two and a Half Men”).

Best actress—comedy: Christina Applegate (“Samantha Who?”), America Ferrera (“Ugly Betty”), Tina Fey (“30 Rock”), Julia Louis-Dreyfus (“The New Adventures of Old Christine”) and Mary-Louise Parker (“Weeds”).

And here’s the complete list of 2008 Emmy nominees.

UPDATE: More good news/bad news, this time in the category of best supporting actress in a comedy series. A long-overdue and well-deserved nod has been given to “Saturday Night Live’s” Amy Poehler, but how in the world is Jenna Fischer snubbed for her work on “The Office”? Instead, the category includes Jean Smart for “Samantha Who?” and Holland Taylor on “Two and a Half Men.” As Poehler herself on Weekend Update would say, “Really?!”

(Photo courtesy of Fox.)

I know, people tell me it’s amazing. I’m also fiercely intimidated by joining a complicated show so late in its run, which is why it took me so long to give “Deadwood” a try—and wow, I’m glad I did. But I’m also unmotivated to catch up on a series with season after season on DVD, especially when that honor is currently bestowed on “The Wire.” I just finished the fourth episode of Season 2, when Freamon looks 10 years younger than he does in Season 5 and Daniels is slowly working his way up the po-lice ladder. And it’s fantastic, obviously.

But there’s no disputing the powerful, almost cult-like fan base of “Lost.” One friend of mine only watches one show with any regularity and it’s “Lost.” And even people who feel like the show has lost its footing still watch it every week, much like fans of “The Sopranos” would complain that it would never live up to the quality of its first two seasons, but watched all the way through to the end for fear they’d miss something groundbreaking. (Insert joke about that series finale here.)

For a cliffhanger show like “Lost,” the stakes for season finales are much higher than, say, “30 Rock” (which I love, by the way). So when crazy things happened and new twists were revealed—can you tell I didn’t see it?—a heckuva lot of you (31 percent of voters) seemed to like what happened and voted accordingly in the latest Remote Access poll, deeming it the best season finale among fall series we regularly cover on this blog.

Placing second with 26 percent of the vote was “Jericho,” which filmed two endings and wound up using the one that worked more as a series finale.

Placing third (too low!) with 8 percent of the vote was the finale of “The Office,” which was by far the best episode of Season 4 and featured a command performance by “Wire” veteran Amy Ryan, as evidenced by this classic one-minute snippet when she endears herself to Michael and millions of “Office” fans:

Tied for fourth were the finales for “Heroes” and “House,” with 6 percent of the vote. Find out the rest of the results—and our latest poll—after the break.

Our next poll was suggested by fellow Accessory, Jenny Higgons, and it works nicely with the buzz surrounding the spin-off of “The Office” that’s in the works. What’s the best TV spinoff of all time? I’ve compiled some of the best ones she suggested as well as others listed in a related MSN article.

As usual, we’ve started with our list, but you’re more than welcome to add your own as long as they’re actual spin-offs. Scroll down the right margin and vote away!

(Photo courtesy of ABC)

My personal choices for the top 5 in each are in bold. The top 10s are:

Top 10 Comedy Series Finalists

Top 10 Drama Series Finalists

The sad dad tried to make up for killing Ana-Lucia and Libby by helping the 815ers as Ben’s spy on the boat, and he did help (most of) them in the end. Michael’s idea to freeze the battery connected to the explosives worked long enough to allow the getaway of the Oceanic 6 (plus, Desmond and Frank) in the chopper.

Unfortunately, he got the “you can die now” call from Christian Shephard, too.

But having Michael finally killed off “Lost” isn’t what’s eating at actor Harold Perrineau (though I’m guessing that he’s not happy about losing that regular paycheck).

In an exit interview with TV Guide, Perrineau says he’s upset that the writers got rid of Michael before he was able to reunite with Walt, his estranged son (and fellow crash survivor).

Perrineau even hinted that the way the show treated the storyline of Michael and Walt was racist, pointing out that the characters of Sayid and Nadia (who are Iraqi) and Desmond and Penny (both white and from the U.K.) were allowed to get together at the end of the season.

Listen, if I’m being really candid, there are all these questions about how they respond to black people on the show. Sayid gets to meet Nadia again, and Desmond and Penny hook up again, but a little black boy and his father hooking up, that wasn’t interesting? Instead, Walt just winds up being another fatherless child. It plays into a really big, weird stereotype and, being a black person myself, that wasn’t so interesting.

TV Guide then asked Perrineau if he’d ever return to the show: After all, dead characters have a habit of popping up. The actor replied that he’d need to know what was happening with his story before he agreed.

Something tells me that the producers won’t be beating down Perrineau’s door after that outburst.

Then again, Perrineau’s interview hasn’t seemed to bother ABC. The Hollywood Reporter broke the news today that he’ll join the pilot of a new ABC dramedy, “The Unusuals.” He’ll play a cop who’s so worried that he’ll die, he always wears his bullet-proof vest.

So maybe, just maybe, there will be room for that Michael-Walt reunion. Even if it’s in the afterlife.

UPDATE: Perrineau’s TV Guide interview caught the attention of Entertainment Weekly, which got him to “clarify” his previous comments. He didn’t retract a single word, though he seemed more upbeat about the possibility of returning to the show in the future.

(Photos courtesy of ABC)

That’s when the show neatly inserted a re-edited version of the Oceanic 6 press conference into the episode.

In the rebroadcast, Jack answers a question that’s been really bugging me since we first saw him give the official Oceanic 6 cover story in Kate’s trial.

Who are the other three 815 passengers who supposedly survived the crash, then died before they all could be rescued?

Well, Jack finally identified all three by name, and all three did indeed die, but not in the way that Jack describes:

• Boone Carlyle, who Jack says died of internal injuries shortly after they made it to the island. (Boone really died in Season 1 from injuries sustained in a fall while trying to contact help from a wrecked drug smugglers’ plane.)

• “A woman, Libby” who died in the first week after the crash. (We all know Libby was shot by Michael in Season 2 , along with Ana-Lucia.)

• Charlie Pace, who drowned a few weeks before they left the island. (Of course, Charlie drowned in the Looking Glass to save the survivors by turning off the Others’ jamming signal.)

We’ve yet to learn why it’s so crucial for the Sixers to lie about having these particular three passengers survive for awhile.

Another line that wasn’t in the original May 15 episode involved Sayid.

When a reporter asks if he’ll be going back to Iraq, Sayid answered “there’s nothing for me” there. Later, he buries Nadia in Iraq after she’s murdered.

This change of heart can be explained away: He thought their homeland is where she should be laid to rest, etc. But more importantly, what are the producers trying to tell us? Why was it so important to include in the re-edited scene?

No word yet on why the scene was changed, and why these clues were dropped in such a sneaky way (if you didn’t tune in or TiVo the episode, you’d have no clue).

An ABC Studios rep tells me that the replay had been advertised as having “never before seen scenes.” But to me, that implies that the scenes would be outtakes, not the re-editing of a key scene, so I’d argue it’s not much of an explanation.

I’ll let you know if I hear more.

I will applaud ABC for cluing us in on one thing, however: the finale’s alternate endings.

Anticipating that the “who’s in the coffin” shocker would get leaked online, the show filmed three different possibilities, including the real revelation that the dead guy was Locke.

The red herrings?

Well, ABC’s Good Morning America showed off the actual filmed clips earlier today. Go here to check them out.

(But just as an FYI, the alternate coffin residents were Sawyer and Desmond.)

Then there’s the phone call that marked Kate’s creepy post-rescue dream: You know, the one where Claire made a nocturnal visit to Aaron’s bedside and told Fake Mommy Kate—in no uncertain terms—not to go back to the island.

Anyway, did you think the phone call sounded a little funny? That’s because it was one of those backward recordings that sounded a lot like the Whispers. (And to me, the voice sounded like John Locke’s.)

Of course, “Lost” addicts were immediately on the case to decipher what was said.

“The island needs you. You have to go back before it’s too late.”

Jeez, how confusing. Locke and Claire need to get on the same page.

And here’s the last “Lost” tidbit for the day (I think).

Did you notice a commercial during the finale for Octagon Global Recruiting?

You guessed it, it directed you to an ABC-created website, Octagonglobalrecruiting.com, which is “recruiting” for a new “research project” for the Dharma Initiative.

And what a coincidence, Octagon/Dharma’s recruitment drive just happens to be kicking off July 24-27 in San Diego, Calif., which just happens to be where the next Comic-Con convention will take place.

Does that mean the two head “Lost” producers will make an appearance and give some hints about next season, as they’ve done in the past? We’ll see…

(Photos courtesy of ABC)

And I’m thrilled to be able to say that the last two hours of Season 4 totally, freakin’ rocked!!! (Whew!)

It was a pure representation of everything that makes “Lost” one of the best shows on TV: intricate storytelling (Ben moved the island!), complicated character development (formerly selfish Sawyer makes a huge sacrifice), heartfelt emotion (Sun’s screams for Jin) and nail-biting suspense (the money shot of who was in the coffin).

I mean, what other show could tell viewers who the Oceanic 6 are up front, and still keep everyone wondering about their fates?

Other series would kept the identities of the Sixers secret until the last minutes of the finale. We KNEW who was getting off the island (well, for the most part), so we were more riveted by the how and why they got off instead.

The finale delivered, too, by answering loads of questions—while offering up lots more, of course. And for once in my “Lost” life, my theories were actually correct on two counts! (More or less, anyway…) We found out which couple shared what the producers called a “spectacular” kiss and got the explanation for the “frozen donkey wheel.”

(Crack. That was me patting myself on the back, sorry!)

Anyway, let’s dive into the boiling-over pot of questions that the finale covered, shall we?

And check back with me later today for another “Lost”clue that was cleverly dropped last night—except it wasn’t hidden in the last two hours, it was in the 8 p.m. replay of the May 15 episode!

WHAT WE LEARNED

• Who’s in the coffin?

OMG. It was totally Locke. Or should we say, Jeremy Bentham? The real-life 19th-century philosopher—who believed strongly in the idea of the ends justify the means (I’ll let you analyze that one for yourself)—was greatly influenced by, you guessed it, John Locke.

Anyway, it seems that Locke visited the O6ers after they left the island (plus, Taller Non-Ghost Walt!), telling them that they had to go back. His death was supposedly suicide, but Sayid is skeptical.

But the bigger questions are: How did Locke die? How did the island “let” him die? If Ben broke the time machine to move the island, how was Locke getting on and off? And why do they have to bring him back—as per Ben’s instructions to Jack? AHHH!! Eight months until Season 5!

• What’s the frozen donkey wheel?

Turns out the secret scene that the producers referred to was an actual frozen donkey wheel buried deep beneath the Orchid station. Ben turned it to move the island to safety, but the consequence was that he was effectively banished to the real world. When we saw him mid-way through the season in the Sahara desert in a Dharma parka, he’d just woken up after that incident—but it was months later in time, October 2005.

• Who had that “spectacular” kiss?

Well, there were kind of two. Sure, that farewell smooch Sawyer gave Kate was hot, but the real passion was in the reunion of Desmond and Penny.

Didn’t you get chills when that guy on the rescue boat (named the “Searcher,” aww!) said “Miss Widmore?” BTW, that dude was Henrik, one of the guys seen at Penny’s listening station back in Season 2.

Love, love, love that these two are back together, and I’m guessing they’ll be up against Ben (who’s vowed to kill Penny) in the future. Jack was right to tell Desmond to keep his rescue a secret, saying, “Don’t let them find you.”

• Why isn’t Sawyer one of the Oceanic 6?

He was supposed to be No. 7! But darn that pesky bullet hole in the fuel tank!

Yup, our sweet Southern boy sacrificed himself for the love of Kate (and friendship of the rest) by jumping out of the helicopter to lighten the load. But not before he whispered a secret in Kate’s ear, which angers Jack later when Kate won’t tell him what it is.

We know Sawyer survived though: Hey, those writers ain’t dumb, they knew Sawyer-lovers would riot if there was even a hint that he’d died. He managed to swim back to the island, where he met Juliet swigging some Dharma rum on the beach—and watching the exploded freighter sink into the sea.

Should we expect a Juliet-Sawyer hookup down the road? After all, Sawyer probably thinks Kate and the others are dead, since that’s where the chopper was headed.

• Is Jin dead?

The last we saw of the Jin-ster (how funny, and ultimately, sad was him saying “Boom” to Desmond and Michael?) was waving frantically to the helicopter from the deck of the freighter. Sun’s screams to go back for him are still haunting me.

I suppose he has a better shot at survival than Michael, who was right next to the explosives and got the “go ahead and die” call from Christian Shephard. But it doesn’t look good for Jin, either.

And who exactly does Sun blame for Jin’s death, besides her father? At first I thought it was Jack, who tells her they can’t go back for him. But maybe Charles Widmore, since he sent Keamy and the freighter in the first place?

Her confrontation with Widmore was ambiguous. Is she really trying to help him, as he thinks? I thought no way, but then again, could she be trying to align herself with Widmore against Ben? He was the one who detonated the explosives by killing Keamy, not caring who he killed on the boat.

• Why does the Oceanic 6 have to lie?

It seems a little weak to me, but Jack sort of explained it at the very end. They can’t tell the world about what happened on the real island, because Widmore would go back and try to kill the rest of the survivors. They’re lying to protect their friends. So they enlist Penny in helping with their cover story.

Yet, doesn’t Widmore know they’re lying? That’s what doesn’t make sense to me. And why exactly does Kate have to pose as Aaron’s biological mother? And why did there have to be three others from the crash, who survived, then died?

(More on that later today, a replay of last night’s Part I of the finale included a reedited version of the O6 press conference, where Jack revealed the identities of those three people and other info!)

• What’s up with the Freighter Four?

We were first introduced to Frank, Charlotte, Daniel and Miles at the top of the season, but the strike prevented the show from going much into their back stories. We’ll see more on them next season.

In the meantime, we know that Miles and Charlotte are still on the island (and Charlotte was apparently born there!), Daniel is presumably stranded in the ocean somewhere now that the island’s moved and the freighter’s exploded. Frank is on Penny’s boat, destination unknown.

Well, Lost-philes, that’s a wrap of the recap.

Of course, I’ll be report other tidbits as they begin to trickle in. You know they will, as folks more addicted than I start picking apart every scene!

(And again, I do have more info coming in later today on that re-edited Oceanic press conference scene…)

But for the most part, we’re going to be in near radio silence until next year. SOB! I can’t believe we’ve got to wait eight months for more “Lost” goodness.

But good things come to those who wait, right? Here’s hoping….

Enjoy your “Lost” break, everyone. See you back here soon.

(Photos courtesy of ABC)

Last year, the Jack-Kate flash-forward encounter at the airport was nicknamed “the snake in the mailbox.” (And it was so top-secret that no cast members besides Matthew Fox and Evangeline Lilly got to see the last pages of the script.)

Codes for other secret scenes include “the bagel” (Walt’s abduction in Season 1) and “the challah” (Penny’s discovery of the island in Season 2).

Of course, none of those twists actually involved serpents or bread products.

But what if this year, for the first time, the code name was literal?

Could it be that “the frozen donkey wheel” is, well, a frozen donkey wheel?

For awhile now, I’ve been on board with the popular theory that Ben has a time machine (which explains how he seems to know everything, and be everywhere). And we’ve been told that Ben, Locke and Hurley are going to try to “move the island” at the Orchid station to save it from Charles Widmore, Keamy and his band of merry mercenaries.

And I’m guessing that they can do that by sending the island to another moment in time. That could be why Widmore can’t find the island now: Maybe Ben “reset” the island’s coordinates at some point. (The compass bearing that gets Michael and Walt off the island, and the freighter folks to and fro, could be a wormhole.)

But how would such a time machine be powered?

Perhaps by a donkey wheel?

I looked up “donkey wheel” and it’s pretty much what it sounds like—a primitive power source. You hook up a donkey to a wheel, and as it walks in a circle, it produces power that pumps water, grinds grain, etc.

Check out what one looks like in the picture below.

Image details: Donkey Work served by picapp.com

This particular photo, taken in 1929, even has an interesting “Lost” link: It was shot on a street in Tunis.

As in Tunisia, the place where Charlotte found the bones of a Dharma polar bear and Ben showed up in a Dharma parka. (More on that later.)

So just maybe, there’s an actual donkey wheel located inside the Orchid that somehow harnesses the island’s unique electromagnetic properties to allow its inhabitants to time-travel.

That’s silly, you say. It’s ridiculous that such a low-tech mechanism could do such a thing.

And I’d agree with you, except it kind of makes sense.

We know that the island must have once been home to an ancient civilization. The evidence: the four-toed statue and those crazy hieroglypics etched on Ben’s secret door (where he went to summon the smoke monster).

So why couldn’t those people have figured out how to time travel?

Time travel is usually associated with futuristic sci-fi, but since we are talking fiction, there’s no reason why primitive cultures couldn’t figure out how to time travel, too. After all, the Egyptians built the pyramids without the use of machinery.

While I’m on a roll here, it could be that the wheel is a relic of what the ancients left behind. The Dharma Initiative later built the Orchid station around the wheel, and maybe gave it a high-tech makeover that allows them to program where—and when—they want to go.

Basically an island version of Dr. Brown’s Delorean in “Back to the Future.”

Image details: Barris Star Car Collection Auction served by picapp.com

But where does the “frozen” part come in?

Well, maybe the last time Ben “moved” the island, the wheel got stuck, “freezing” the island in time.

Or, going back to the literal meaning of the code name, it’s possible that the Orchid just needs to be really, really cold to function properly.

Remember Ben’s flash-forward in “The Shape of Things to Come?”

He shows up in the Sahara Desert—there’s that Tunisia link—wearing a Dharma parka. He wakes up and immediately exhales some steam, which looks just like your breath when it’s really cold out. He also has an unexplained wound on one arm.

I assume Ben time-traveled to the desert, because when he checks into the hotel after giving those Bedouins a beat-down, he asks the clerk what year it is.

So here’s my best guess: That flash-forward with Ben happened immediately after a scene we’ll see in the finale.

The wound is from his battle with Keamy and his men, and Ben jumps into the time machine to escape. Because he’s in a hurry, he doesn’t have time to program the machine, which is why he doesn’t exactly know where he is when he lands in the desert.

Anyone else with me? Could the “Frozen Donkey Wheel” be an actual frozen donkey wheel?

Let me know your ideas! And tune in here tomorrow for the season’s final recap (sniff). We’ll learn if we’re right after all…

(“Lost” photos courtesy of ABC)

So let’s revisit a question that’s supposed to be answered next Thursday: Who’s in the coffin?

We’ve discussed this one before, of course.  It’s been on everyone’s minds since Jack visited that funeral parlor in last year’s flash-forward season ender. (And if you need a refresher on exactly what Jack and Kate said about the dead person at the airport, go here. That scene is said to be key—no suprise—to next week’s finale.)

Anyway, now we’ve got almost an entire season’s worth of clues to that person’s identity, though it doesn’t seem to have helped fans settle on a single candidate.

There’s also word out there that the obituary that Jack read last season —which Lost-philes screen-capped and analyzed to death, of course—shouldn’t be taken as canon; it may be rewritten.  So if that’s true, we can toss out those hints, which include: the dead person’s first name begins with “Jo;” he’s from New York; he’s survived by a teen-age son; and he committed suicide.

So let’s break down the theories of who the dead Lostie could be:

JOHN LOCKE

WHY IT’S HIM: In last season’s finale, Jack was clearly upset by the person’s death—which seemed to be tied to his realization that they never should have left the island. And who had been telling him all along that leaving is a mistake? Plus, Kate’s not a big Locke fan, so that would fit with her not wanting to go to his funeral.

WHY IT’S NOT: The man of mystery would die before leaving the island. Even if he did, how would he end up at a funeral home in California? And with no press or mourners? He was an Oceanic survivor! Then again, fans of this theory point out that Locke had no family, and he could have been using an alias.

BENJAMIN LINUS

  WHY IT’S HIM: Ben doesn’t have any family (we don’t think), so no one would be at his funeral. Kate sure as heck didn’t like him. Jack may have realized that he should have listened more closely to Ben while on the island.

WHY IT’S NOT: We know that Ben has some major off-island work to complete—convincing Sayid to bump off the rest of his “list,” getting revenge on Charles Widmore by killing Penny—so it wouldn’t make much sense to kill him off now.  I suppose this could be told in sequences between the Oceanic 6’s return and last season’s flash-forward, but it would be tricky.

MICHAEL DAWSON

  WHY IT’S HIM: He’s estranged from Walt and his mother, so that covers the no family angle. Some have pointed out that the funeral home is in a  predominantly African-American neighborhood, so the dead person could be black. We know Michael was suicidal. Plus, hasn’t he kind of outlived—no pun intended—his usefulness on the show?

WHY IT’S NOT:  Plenty of fans guessed it was Michael from the beginning, so this would be a too obvious choice. (Still, most people figured out Michael was Ben’s spy on the freighter long before it was revealed.) And if Michael has finished his “work” on the island and dies “now,” why would he be in a coffin almost three years later—when the flash-forward took place? And why would he be in California?

WALT LLOYD

  WHY IT’S HIM: Fans noticed that the coffin seemed kind of short—in other words, kid-sized.  And we know Walt turns up somewhere in the finale, so this could be the place.

WHY IT’S NOT: Critics have dismissed the small coffin argument, saying the camera angles made it seem shorter. And even if Michael’s dead, too, why wouldn’t Walt’s grandmother go to the funeral? Why would Jack be so distraught over Walt? Why would Kate be so angry? Most importantly, Jorge Garcia, who plays Hurley, recently told TV Guide that “it’s hard to kill a kid on TV.” I agree. Way harsh.
JAMES “SAWYER” FORD

  WHY IT’S HIM: He doesn’t have a family. Something could have happened between him and Kate to make her upset. He has a habit of using aliases. There’s been rumors that Josh Holloway filmed a “secret scene” for the finale.

WHY IT’S NOT:  If Sawyer’s not one of the Oceanic 6, how did he get off the island? Would Kate really be so annoyed as to not go to his funeral? We’ve yet to learn what secret errand Sawyer asked her to do for him. And please, kill off a possible Skate reunion? Sawyer fans would riot.

DESMOND HUME

WHY IT’S HIM:  Desmond wasn’t one of the Oceanic 6, so he could slip back into the real world undetected. He’s also been known to time-travel, and he’s got an L.A. connection (he met a pre-crash Jack training at a stadium).

WHY IT’S NOT: How could the show pump up the Penny-Desmond love story, only to kill him off? He’s got lots of storyline left in him: He’s Daniel Faraday’s constant, remember? And getting back to the basics, why would Kate be so angry with him?

Let me know who you think it will turn out to be and why—and add another candidate if you like!

Until next week, everyone. Tune back here next Thursday for our last debate of the season, and Friday for the finale recap!

(Photos courtesy of ABC) 

To whet your whistle, I figured I’d toss together all these bits of news and vids and the like that I’ve been gathering over the past week.

This YouTube video is amazing, splicing together Gaeta’s Lament, the song he sang in snatches throughout the episode.

Which brings us to Bear McCreary’s Battlestar blog entry about “Guess What’s Coming to Dinner.” He has the whole story about how the song was developed, from writer Michael Angeli’s wife, Karen, having written the melody as a gift to him, to Alessandro Juliani (Felix Gaeta) and McCreary (BSG’s composer) involvement in the story sessions for the episode.

Who knew that Juliani had such a gorgeous voice (he studied opera at McGill University in Montreal!)? I liked how they even commented on that in the episode.

McCreary’s blog also contains the entire lyrics for the song and even the sheet music for it:

Alone she sleeps in the shirt of man
With my three wishes clutched in her hand
The first that she be spared the pain
That comes from a dark and laughing rain
When she finds love may it always stay true
This I beg for the second wish I made too
But wish no more
My life you can take
To have her please just one day wake

Then, Maureen Ryan at the Chicago Tribune had big news on her blog about more BSG: First off, there will be a set of webisodes to link the first half of Season 4 to the second. And even bigger, there may be more Battlestar Galactica telemovies.

As Galactica Sitrep noted Thursday, an internet radio show, The Doctor and Mrs. Who, reported last night that up to three “Battlestar Galactica” TV movies may get made later this year. Several sources at the show confirm that those films are indeed being discussed right now.Executives are now doing number-crunching for these proposed films, and any deals for these movies are far from done. However, it would make sense to make more “Battlestar” TV movies while the show’s creative team and actors are still all in one place, as it were.

Although the news of the webisodes themselves is good, it is confirmation that this season will be split. Ryan had little information, but more than I’ve seen anywhere else at this point:

For those keeping score at home, “Battlestar Galactica” is currently airing the first 10 episodes of its fourth and final season. The current batch of episodes will finish up in early June. Production is underway on the last 10 episode of the show and the final scenes for the series finale will be shot in June. Production could get under way on the TV movies as early as July, and one source says the films could get the green light in the next two weeks or so.

By the way, at this point, it’s not known when those last 10 episodes of “Battlestar” will air. Informed sources say that a decision on that won’t get made until mid-summer, so my guess is that Sci Fi won’t the final 10 episodes until 2009.

Great “Battlestar: Lostica” spoof video of the Lost opening credits.

Aaron Douglas, our beloved Chief Petty Officer Gaelin Tyrol, gave this awesome interview Total SciFi, saying, “Our last episode will be the most depressing show in the history of television.”

Wow. I can’t wait. (Seriously, it sounds awesome just from that line alone.) He talks about his feelings upon finding out Tyrol was a Cylon and what he thinks about what the Hidden Five really are.

This one, from Comedy Central, is a hoot. Compares a few BSG characters (Tigh, Simon and Roslin) to presidential candidates (McCain, Obama and Hillary). OK, everyone’s done the McCain/Tigh thing, but this time, they go far past mere photos. Such as that both McCain and Tigh have/had a hot blonde wife and favors extreme military measures.

The Caprica TV blog cited a report on The Doctor and Mrs Who radio show that said the Caprica series might get the OK to go to series before the pilot is even filmed. Righteous.

And, finally, our favorite rebel Colonial warrior and Bionic baddie, Katee Sackhoff, gets a story arc on Nip/Tuck in its sixth season, according to TVGuide.com. She’ll “play Theodora “Teddy” Lowe, a new doctor who challenges Dylan Walsh’s Sean in at least four episodes.”

Photos courtesy of NBC Universal.

With 27 percent of the vote, the “30 Rock” character’s real-life counterpart, Tina Fey, was crowned TV’s hardest worker by Remote Access’ loyal readers. She’s also a writer and exec producer for the show and—with apologies to the amazing Amy Poehler—arguably the headliner of “Baby Mama,” which debuted at No. 1 at the box office. (In retrospect, Poehler’s no slacker, either. Perhaps I should have added her to the list of nominees.)

Fey defeated some stiff competition, and just edged out fellow Must-See TV star Steve Carell, who helms “The Office” and collected 26 percent of the votes. In third was “American Idol” host Ryan Seacrest (21 percent), followed by “Lost” guru JJ Abrams (17 percent), Oprah Winfrey (12 percent) and reader-nominated “Flavor of Love” star Flavor Flav (2 percent).

Now time for a new poll: With the “Sex and the City” movie debut approaching, what’s the next HBO series that should be made into a feature-length film?

Lots of intriguing options here, including shows that were allowed to come to unusual conclusions (“The Sopranos”), others that remain on-air (“Entourage”) and still others that deserved a proper sendoff (“Deadwood,” anyone?).

Feel free to add your own nominees, as long as “Arli$$” isn’t one of them. (OK, even Arli$$, if you must.)

(Photo by Heidi Gutman for NBC/Universal.)

TV’s new No. 1 network (sorry, CBS) announced its new lineup at yesterday’s upfronts and it’s pitting “Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles” against NBC’s “Chuck.”

That’s bad news for sci-fi/action fans who like both shows and good news for ABC’s “Dancing With The Stars,” which crushes almost everything in its path, and CBS’s “How I Met Your Mother,” which often scores higher ratings than “Terminator” or “Chuck’s” 8 million some-odd viewers. Without a shift in time slot and because the fall run of “Chuck” rarely if ever conflicted with the spring run of “Terminator,” I’m guessing one of those action shows will be canceled by season’s end.

There’s interesting news for “Idol” fans, who have been abandoning the No. 1 show in droves lately. The Wednesday night results show has mercifully been reduced to a half-hour. It’s one thing to keep an audience wondering; it’s another to bore them to tears. Long overdue move there.

As for new fall shows, the network is debuting only two. “Fringe” (pictured right) is a one-hour sci-fi drama by an up-and-comer by the name of J.J. Abrams. Slated to air Tuesdays this fall before “House,” “Fringe” stars former “Mighty Ducks” trilogy/”Dawson’s Creek” star Joshua Jackson as a scientist who investigates paranormal activity with a female FBI agent.

The other fall debut is “Do Not Disturb” (formerly called “The Inn”), a half-hour Wednesday comedy starring recent “Carpoolers” star Jerry O’Connell as the general manager of a hotel and “Reno: 911’s” hilarious Niecy Nash.

Like any J.J. Abrams project (see: “Lost” and “Cloverfield”), “Fringe” has a lot of buzz. And it’s hard to frown upon anything affiliated with an “Arrested Development” alum, who in this case is Jason Bateman; he directed the “Do Not Disturb” pilot.

In the spring, expect more debuts: The Joss Whedon project “Dollhouse,” starring Eliza Dushku, whom I’m convinced is most famous for being hot; the animated “The Cleveland Show,” a “Family Guy” spinoff; and another animated series, “Class Dismissed” (or “Sit Down, Shut Up,” depending on the source) featuring voice-overs by “Arrested Development” stars Bateman and “30 Rock” regular Will Arnett. Also in the mix is “Secret Millionaire,” a reality show version of “The Prince and the Pauper.”

Beyond that, expect a lot of familiar fare (“Idol,” “House” and the 20th[!] season of “The Simpsons”), including a ton of reality programming ranging from the inane (“Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader”) to the insane (“The Moment of Truth”). And if someone wants to tell me why “Prison Break” is still on the air, I’d be willing to listen.

Among the shows not to return this fall are two sitcoms with great stars but poor execution: the Parker Posey-Lauren Ambrose vehicle “The Return of Jezebel James” and the Kelsey Grammer-Patricia Heaton-led “Back to You.” Fans of “The Office” might be disappointed AND relieved that the talented Rashida Jones’ awful sitcom, “Unhitched,” was axed.

Also gone, according to the (New York) Daily News: “Anchorwoman,” “Canterbury’s Law,” “K-Ville,” “Nashville,” “New Amsterdam” and “The Next Great American Band.” (The lesson on that last one: There’s only one “American Idol.” You’d think they would have learned that lesson after the frightfest that was “American Juniors.”)

After the break, check out the full Fox fall schedule for 2008. (Thanks to BuddyTV and E! for making this easy for me.)

FOX FALL LINEUP

Sunday:
8 p.m.: “The Simpsons” (pictured)
8:30 p.m.: “King of the Hill”
9 p.m.: “Family Guy”
9:30 p.m.: “American Dad”

Monday:
8 p.m.: “Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles”
9 p.m.: “Prison Break”

Tuesday:
8 p.m.: “House”
9 p.m.: “Fringe”

Wednesday:
8 p.m.: “Bones”
9 p.m.: ”’Til Death”
9:30 p.m.: “Do Not Disturb” (pictured)

Thursday:
8 p.m.: “The Moment of Truth”
9 p.m.: “Kitchen Nightmares”

Friday:
8 p.m.: “Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader?”
9 p.m.: “Don’t Forget the Lyrics”

Saturday:
8 p.m.: “Cops”
9 p.m.: “America’s Most Wanted”
11 p.m.: “MadTV”
Midnight: “Talk Show with Spike Feresten”

FOX SPRING LINEUP

Sunday
8 p.m.: “The Simpsons”
8:30 p.m.: “King of the Hill” in January and February; “Class Dismissed”/”Sit Down, Shut Up” (pictured) beginning in March
9 p.m.: “Family Guy”
9:30 p.m.: “American Dad” in January and February; “The Cleveland Show” beginning in March

Monday
8 p.m.: “Dollhouse”
9 p.m.: “24”

Tuesday
8 p.m.: “American Idol”
9 p.m.: “Fringe”

Wednesday
8 p.m.: “House”
9 p.m.: “American Idol”
9:30 p.m.: TBA (comedy)

Thursday
8 p.m.: “Hell’s Kitchen”
9 p.m.: “Secret Millionaire”

Friday
8 p.m.: “Bones”
9 p.m.: ”’Til Death”
9:30 p.m.: “Do Not Disturb”

(All photos and logo courtesy of Fox.)

And please, immediately start poking holes in their cover story.

Wow, anyone else literally jumping up in down in frustration when you realized that we have to wait TWO weeks to find out what was teased so brilliantly last night?

“Lost” always presents questions, of course, and I’m sure the show’s final two hours on May 29 will leave us with some hum-dingers. But it seems that the finale will indeed answer a few things that have been killing us since the season began—heck, since last season ended.

How do the Oceanic 6 make it off the island? Why were these six castaways the chosen ones? And why do they have to tell a boatload of lies about the crash?

It’s like we’re about to finish the second leg of a triathlon: We’re so excited about completing most of the race, but the finish line is still way off in the distance.

Anyway, let’s kick off our recap with a rundown of what happens to each of the Oceanic 6 after they’re rescued.

The episode opened with the group in the back of a cargo plane, on their way to a military base in Hawaii. Jack tells an Oceanic flunky that they’ll talk to reporters when they get there, and once she leaves, he turns to the rest to get their stories straight.

Earlier in the season, I thought that Widmore’s people or another shadowy organization may have forced the O6 into their cover story, possibly by threatening those left behind on the island.

But now it seems that Jack is the one urging everyone to lie, and they’re all happy to go along. Which is way creepier than if they didn’t have much of a choice. What on earth happened to them to make them seemingly betray their friends?

Once at the base, the reunion scene was poignant. First, the relief to be home was so evident on all the Sixers’ faces.

And the fact that no one was there to greet Kate and Sayid was heartbreaking. But they seemed to be embraced by the others as part of their families: Hurley dragging Sayid over to meet his parents was sweet.

Bittersweet, though, because as the episode went on, you realized that all this togetherness, this friendship, is eventually going to go terribly, terribly wrong.

Back to the press conference.

The reporters immediately latch onto the flaws in the Sixers’ story, wondering first why they all look so healthy if they were stranded on a deserted island for three months.

Kate lies and says that she gave birth to Aaron on the island, which one questioner points out would have made her six months pregnant when the U.S. marshal arrested her.

(What is it with this show and thinking it reasonable that a woman in her second trimester would have a completely flat belly? Locke’s mother in last week’s episode was supposed to be six months along, too, and she wasn’t showing at all. BTW, anyone else notice that both women were almost to the point of their pregnancy—or pretend pregnancy in Kate’s case—when the expectant women on the island would die?)

Sun also lies when asked if Jin was one of those who made it out of the plane. (We still haven’t found out the identities of the two others who supposedly survived the crash, then died, and why that detail is so important.) Sun says he died on impact—confirming what we already knew from the fake date she put on Jin’s tombstone.

Shortly afterwards, the Oceanic rep tells Sayid there’s someone outside who claims to know him: Nadia.

Again, their embrace was quite a moment. Even my husband said, “Awww.” Then he remembered, “Aw, man, she gets killed, right?”

Yup, another moment turned bittersweet because we know that Sayid’s not going to be happy with Nadia for long.

As for Hurley, he goes back to living with his parents, who end up throwing him a surprise birthday party. His dad gives him the restored Camaro that they had worked on together. A touching father-son scene, until Hurley notices the numbers on the odometer. He freaks out and runs away, the first step towards the disturbed mental state we know is in store for him.

Just as a side note, the Hurley scenes had a bunch of Easter Eggs!!

One, Hurley hears the whispers when he gets out of the car to go into the house.

Two, he was carrying a take-out bag from Mr. Cluck’s Chicken Shack, which Hurley once worked at, and then bought with his lottery winnings, before it was destroyed by a meteorite.

Three, the keychain Hurley’s dad gives him has a rabbit’s foot attached, just like the one the aircraft pilot was rubbing for luck while bringing the O6 back to the mainland.

And four, Hurley picks up a statue of Jesus to defend himself before the party guests yell surprise. Similar statues of the Virgin Mary stuffed with heroin were found in the small airplane that crashed on the island with Eko’s brother. Heroin addict Charlie—who will later haunt Hurley—threw the statues into the ocean when he kicked the habit.

Sun goes back to Korea, where she uses part of the whopping Oceanic settlement to buy a controlling interest in her father’s company.

She tells ol’ Mr. Paik that she knows he hated Jin, and he was one of two people who killed him. Who was the other? Was she referring to herself for leaving him behind?

This plot twist was really interesting, since I’m guessing that this new corporate Sun will find out what Daddy Dearest has been up to with Charles Widmore.

And Jack?

He gives Christian a proper eulogy at a memorial service, where a surprise mourner is Claire’s mom!

When we last saw her, she was still in a coma after the car accident she was in with Claire. She reveals that Claire is Jack’s half-sister, which is likely the guilt-ridden reason why Jack hadn’t been able to look at Aaron until long after Kate’s trial.

Perhaps it’s for leaving Claire back on the island, and perhaps it’s because he can’t tell this poor woman that Aaron is really her grandson.

That seems to have covered the off-island adventure. Now, back to the island and the freighter.

To sum up, everyone is running around like chickens with their heads cut off.

Jack and Kate run into Sawyer and Miles in the jungle, when Sawyer passes off Aaron to Kate and explains what happened to Claire. Miles, Kate and the baby head back to the beach, while Sawyer and Jack follow the sat phone signal to the helicopter.

They free Frank, who’s handcuffed to the chopper and tells them that Keamy and his men are headed for the Orchid station and set to kill them all. Sawyer realizes that they can’t leave the island without Hurley, who’s on his way to the Orchid with Locke and Ben.

Jack utters Sawyer’s favorite line, “Son of a bitch.”

Back at the beach, the game of musical Aaron continues, as Kate gives the baby to Sun while she heads into the jungle with Sayid to help Jack and Sawyer. Yet that crafty Richard Alpert appears with a band of gun-wielding Others and takes them captive.

Meanwhile, Daniel takes over for Sayid on the raft and ferries Sun, Aaron, Jin and a few random survivors to the freighter. Sun and Jin have a tense exchange with Michael before Desmond shouts for help. He’s found a room full of explosives that could blow about 10 boats.

And what about the Orchid station, which will be further revealed in the season’s last two hours?

Ben, Locke and Hurley make it there – and Ben gives Locke very specific details about how to get inside. Telling Locke he “always has a plan”—as if to say, you dope, you’re supposed to be the special one and you never know what to do—Ben gives himself up to Keamy, who pistol-whips him unconscious.

Lots and lots of questions, people, some of which will be answered when the show returns for its finale in TWO WEEKS.

And the biggest one I have is this: If Sun and Aaron are on the freighter, Sayid and Kate are with the Others, Jack’s in the jungle and Hurley’s at the Orchid, how the HELL do they finally get together on that raft to rescue?

And what happened to the others they were with?

I’m guessing it’s going to be an action-packed finish. Until May 29, Lost-philes….

(Photos courtesy of ABC)

And that smooch is one of his favorite moments so far in the entire SERIES!

Later, ol’ Lindy spilled that the kiss wouldn’t happen on the island.

Then your feverish little brains probably went haywire, trying to figure out who the fantastic couple could be.

Jack and Kate?

Faithful Jaters seem to think so, especially after the recent flash-forward episode had the couple engaged and playing Mommy and Daddy to Aaron (although that didn’t seem to end so well).

Sawyer and Kate?

Skaters have pointed to the same episode, when Kate confessed to a secret promise made to Sawyer. That showed our Southern boy—even though he’s presumably back on the island—still had the power to come between Jate.

I say: No way!

Be honest: Would either of those scenarios truly blow your mind? Been there, done that.

But what about Claire and Aaron?

I’ll admit I was on board with this possibility at first. Big emotional moment, a total sobfest as Aaron gets taken away from his mommy, right?

But that was before Claire went all undead on us, abandoning Aaron to hang out with Ghost Daddy Christian and act creepy in Jacob’s cabin.

Now here’s who I REALLY think will lock lips before the season ends on May 29.

Are you ready?

PENNY and DESMOND!!

Yes, I’m thinking that our star-crossed lovers—she’s his constant, yay!—will reunite and that’s going to be one of the whiz-bang moments that “Lost” loves to leave us with.

Read on to find out why…

Okay, so here’s why I think our favorite brotha and his faithful lady love will FINALLY get together soon.

First off … (SPOILER ALERT!!!) we know that Sonya Walger is set to appear as Penny—in some capacity—during the season’s final two hours on May 29.

We also know the “Lost” producers are ga-ga about the Desmond-Penny romance.

They think DesPen is the true love story of the show, way more than any possible Skate or Jate relationship. (Click here to hear them say so themselves.)

That said, my guess is that the season will end with Penny finally finding Desmond on that freighter—where he’s waiting for her, just like she waited eight years for his phone call—and whisking him back to the real world.

That would allow Desmond to be another player in next season’s off island story, without feeling like we were conned into thinking that only the Oceanic 6 makes it off the island.

Penny and Desmond would keep his rescue a secret, since they’d be trying to figure out exactly why her father is so interested in the island and sent a team to kill everyone on it, and rigged the 815 wreckage. (If he actually did, which I’m not entirely convinced of.)

This would set up a wild off-island conflict, too, pitting Desmond against Sayid and Ben.

Remember that Ben vowed to kill Penny as revenge against Charles Widmore for killing Alex?

What if Season 5 involves Ben’s hunt for Penny, using Sayid as the assassin?

Here’s where a lot of drama could come in.

I could be wrong, but I don’t believe Ben knows that Penny is Desmond’s girlfriend. (You never know WHAT that guy knows, though.) And it’s been implied that Ben’s hit list for Sayid has been given to him one person at a time; if that’s true, he wouldn’t know that he’s eventually meant to kill Penny in the end.

Plus, I doubt Ben comes clean with Sayid. Don’t forget that little smile he gave after manipulating him into kill one of Widmore’s men, telling him (falsely?) that he’d murdered Nadia.

Can’t you picture it? Desmond and Penny on the run, desperately trying to keep her alive (while trying to find the island to save those left behind), not knowing that his pal Sayid is the one hunting them?

And a stunned Sayid realizing that he may have to kill his friend, and his friend’s girlfriend?

And a ticked-off Ben, annoyed that he hadn’t realized he could have used Desmond to get to Penny sooner? (Something tells me he wouldn’t have a problem wasting Des.)

The only thing that keeps me from thinking the Penny-Desmond love connection may not happen is that the show may want to wait until the final season.

But otherwise, I’m really loving this idea!

How about you? Any other Pen-Des lovers out there?

(Photos courtesy of ABC and HBO)