Jin’s fate may be up in the air, but “Lost” fans know that one castaway definitely went bye-bye when the freighter went boom in Thursday’s season finale: Michael.

The sad dad tried to make up for killing Ana-Lucia and Libby by helping the 815ers as Ben’s spy on the boat, and he did help (most of) them in the end. Michael’s idea to freeze the battery connected to the explosives worked long enough to allow the getaway of the Oceanic 6 (plus, Desmond and Frank) in the chopper.

Unfortunately, he got the “you can die now” call from Christian Shephard, too.

But having Michael finally killed off “Lost” isn’t what’s eating at actor Harold Perrineau (though I’m guessing that he’s not happy about losing that regular paycheck).

In an exit interview with TV Guide, Perrineau says he’s upset that the writers got rid of Michael before he was able to reunite with Walt, his estranged son (and fellow crash survivor).

Perrineau even hinted that the way the show treated the storyline of Michael and Walt was racist, pointing out that the characters of Sayid and Nadia (who are Iraqi) and Desmond and Penny (both white and from the U.K.) were allowed to get together at the end of the season.

Listen, if I’m being really candid, there are all these questions about how they respond to black people on the show. Sayid gets to meet Nadia again, and Desmond and Penny hook up again, but a little black boy and his father hooking up, that wasn’t interesting? Instead, Walt just winds up being another fatherless child. It plays into a really big, weird stereotype and, being a black person myself, that wasn’t so interesting.

TV Guide then asked Perrineau if he’d ever return to the show: After all, dead characters have a habit of popping up. The actor replied that he’d need to know what was happening with his story before he agreed.

Something tells me that the producers won’t be beating down Perrineau’s door after that outburst.

Then again, Perrineau’s interview hasn’t seemed to bother ABC. The Hollywood Reporter broke the news today that he’ll join the pilot of a new ABC dramedy, “The Unusuals.” He’ll play a cop who’s so worried that he’ll die, he always wears his bullet-proof vest.

So maybe, just maybe, there will be room for that Michael-Walt reunion. Even if it’s in the afterlife.

UPDATE: Perrineau’s TV Guide interview caught the attention of Entertainment Weekly, which got him to “clarify” his previous comments. He didn’t retract a single word, though he seemed more upbeat about the possibility of returning to the show in the future.

(Photos courtesy of ABC)

If you watched the 8 p.m. replay of the May 15 installment of “Lost”—the first hour of the “There’s No Place Like Home” finale—you probably sat up on the sofa at the same time I did. (At the 13-minute mark, to be exact.)

That’s when the show neatly inserted a re-edited version of the Oceanic 6 press conference into the episode.

In the rebroadcast, Jack answers a question that’s been really bugging me since we first saw him give the official Oceanic 6 cover story in Kate’s trial.

Who are the other three 815 passengers who supposedly survived the crash, then died before they all could be rescued?

Well, Jack finally identified all three by name, and all three did indeed die, but not in the way that Jack describes:

• Boone Carlyle, who Jack says died of internal injuries shortly after they made it to the island. (Boone really died in Season 1 from injuries sustained in a fall while trying to contact help from a wrecked drug smugglers’ plane.)

• “A woman, Libby” who died in the first week after the crash. (We all know Libby was shot by Michael in Season 2 , along with Ana-Lucia.)

• Charlie Pace, who drowned a few weeks before they left the island. (Of course, Charlie drowned in the Looking Glass to save the survivors by turning off the Others’ jamming signal.)

We’ve yet to learn why it’s so crucial for the Sixers to lie about having these particular three passengers survive for awhile.

Another line that wasn’t in the original May 15 episode involved Sayid.

I’ll be honest: Given how “Lost” has given us the best season since the first, I was prepared to be a wee bit disappointed in last night’s finale. How on earth could it live up to the hype, the speculation, the fans’ mountain-high expectations?

And I’m thrilled to be able to say that the last two hours of Season 4 totally, freakin’ rocked!!! (Whew!)

It was a pure representation of everything that makes “Lost” one of the best shows on TV: intricate storytelling (Ben moved the island!), complicated character development (formerly selfish Sawyer makes a huge sacrifice), heartfelt emotion (Sun’s screams for Jin) and nail-biting suspense (the money shot of who was in the coffin).

I mean, what other show could tell viewers who the Oceanic 6 are up front, and still keep everyone wondering about their fates?

Other series would kept the identities of the Sixers secret until the last minutes of the finale. We KNEW who was getting off the island (well, for the most part), so we were more riveted by the how and why they got off instead.

The finale delivered, too, by answering loads of questions—while offering up lots more, of course. And for once in my “Lost” life, my theories were actually correct on two counts! (More or less, anyway…) We found out which couple shared what the producers called a “spectacular” kiss and got the explanation for the “frozen donkey wheel.”

(Crack. That was me patting myself on the back, sorry!)

Anyway, let’s dive into the boiling-over pot of questions that the finale covered, shall we?

And check back with me later today for another “Lost”clue that was cleverly dropped last night—except it wasn’t hidden in the last two hours, it was in the 8 p.m. replay of the May 15 episode!

Every Lost addict knows what the term “frozen donkey wheel” means. It’s the code name producers have given to this season’s OMG moment in the finale.

Last year, the Jack-Kate flash-forward encounter at the airport was nicknamed “the snake in the mailbox.” (And it was so top-secret that no cast members besides Matthew Fox and Evangeline Lilly got to see the last pages of the script.)

Codes for other secret scenes include “the bagel” (Walt’s abduction in Season 1) and “the challah” (Penny’s discovery of the island in Season 2).

Of course, none of those twists actually involved serpents or bread products.

But what if this year, for the first time, the code name was literal?

Could it be that “the frozen donkey wheel” is, well, a frozen donkey wheel?

For awhile now, I’ve been on board with the popular theory that Ben has a time machine (which explains how he seems to know everything, and be everywhere). And we’ve been told that Ben, Locke and Hurley are going to try to “move the island” at the Orchid station to save it from Charles Widmore, Keamy and his band of merry mercenaries.

And I’m guessing that they can do that by sending the island to another moment in time. That could be why Widmore can’t find the island now: Maybe Ben “reset” the island’s coordinates at some point. (The compass bearing that gets Michael and Walt off the island, and the freighter folks to and fro, could be a wormhole.)

But how would such a time machine be powered?

Perhaps by a donkey wheel?

I looked up “donkey wheel” and it’s pretty much what it sounds like—a primitive power source. You hook up a donkey to a wheel, and as it walks in a circle, it produces power that pumps water, grinds grain, etc.

Check out what one looks like in the picture below.

Image details: Donkey Work served by picapp.com

This particular photo, taken in 1929, even has an interesting “Lost” link: It was shot on a street in Tunis.

As in Tunisia, the place where Charlotte found the bones of a Dharma polar bear and Ben showed up in a Dharma parka. (More on that later.)

So just maybe, there’s an actual donkey wheel located inside the Orchid that somehow harnesses the island’s unique electromagnetic properties to allow its inhabitants to time-travel.

There’s no “Lost” tonight, and we have to wait until next week for the season’s final two hours, but that doesn’t mean we can’t continue our weekly debate of one of the show’s hot topics.

So let’s revisit a question that’s supposed to be answered next Thursday: Who’s in the coffin?

We’ve discussed this one before, of course.  It’s been on everyone’s minds since Jack visited that funeral parlor in last year’s flash-forward season ender. (And if you need a refresher on exactly what Jack and Kate said about the dead person at the airport, go here. That scene is said to be key—no suprise—to next week’s finale.)

Anyway, now we’ve got almost an entire season’s worth of clues to that person’s identity, though it doesn’t seem to have helped fans settle on a single candidate.

There’s also word out there that the obituary that Jack read last season —which Lost-philes screen-capped and analyzed to death, of course—shouldn’t be taken as canon; it may be rewritten.  So if that’s true, we can toss out those hints, which include: the dead person’s first name begins with “Jo;” he’s from New York; he’s survived by a teen-age son; and he committed suicide.

So let’s break down the theories of who the dead Lostie could be:

JOHN LOCKE

WHY IT’S HIM: In last season’s finale, Jack was clearly upset by the person’s death—which seemed to be tied to his realization that they never should have left the island. And who had been telling him all along that leaving is a mistake? Plus, Kate’s not a big Locke fan, so that would fit with her not wanting to go to his funeral.

WHY IT’S NOT: The man of mystery would die before leaving the island. Even if he did, how would he end up at a funeral home in California? And with no press or mourners? He was an Oceanic survivor! Then again, fans of this theory point out that Locke had no family, and he could have been using an alias.

This week’s So Say We All: The Battlestar Galactica Blog Carnival has posted at Athens Exchange.

To whet your whistle, I figured I’d toss together all these bits of news and vids and the like that I’ve been gathering over the past week.

This YouTube video is amazing, splicing together Gaeta’s Lament, the song he sang in snatches throughout the episode.

Which brings us to Bear McCreary’s Battlestar blog entry about “Guess What’s Coming to Dinner.” He has the whole story about how the song was developed, from writer Michael Angeli’s wife, Karen, having written the melody as a gift to him, to Alessandro Juliani (Felix Gaeta) and McCreary (BSG’s composer) involvement in the story sessions for the episode.

Who knew that Juliani had such a gorgeous voice (he studied opera at McGill University in Montreal!)? I liked how they even commented on that in the episode.

McCreary’s blog also contains the entire lyrics for the song and even the sheet music for it:

Alone she sleeps in the shirt of man
With my three wishes clutched in her hand
The first that she be spared the pain
That comes from a dark and laughing rain
When she finds love may it always stay true
This I beg for the second wish I made too
But wish no more
My life you can take
To have her please just one day wake

If there’s an opposite to “blerg!” or an exclamation that’s the equivalent to Sandwich Day, Liz Lemon might be screaming it right now.

With 27 percent of the vote, the “30 Rock” character’s real-life counterpart, Tina Fey, was crowned TV’s hardest worker by Remote Access’ loyal readers. She’s also a writer and exec producer for the show and—with apologies to the amazing Amy Poehler—arguably the headliner of “Baby Mama,” which debuted at No. 1 at the box office. (In retrospect, Poehler’s no slacker, either. Perhaps I should have added her to the list of nominees.)

Fey defeated some stiff competition, and just edged out fellow Must-See TV star Steve Carell, who helms “The Office” and collected 26 percent of the votes. In third was “American Idol” host Ryan Seacrest (21 percent), followed by “Lost” guru JJ Abrams (17 percent), Oprah Winfrey (12 percent) and reader-nominated “Flavor of Love” star Flavor Flav (2 percent).

Now time for a new poll: With the “Sex and the City” movie debut approaching, what’s the next HBO series that should be made into a feature-length film?

Lots of intriguing options here, including shows that were allowed to come to unusual conclusions (“The Sopranos”), others that remain on-air (“Entourage”) and still others that deserved a proper sendoff (“Deadwood,” anyone?).

Feel free to add your own nominees, as long as “Arli$$” isn’t one of them. (OK, even Arli$$, if you must.)

(Photo by Heidi Gutman for NBC/Universal.)

Uh oh.

TV’s new No. 1 network (sorry, CBS) announced its new lineup at yesterday’s upfronts and it’s pitting “Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles” against NBC’s “Chuck.”

That’s bad news for sci-fi/action fans who like both shows and good news for ABC’s “Dancing With The Stars,” which crushes almost everything in its path, and CBS’s “How I Met Your Mother,” which often scores higher ratings than “Terminator” or “Chuck’s” 8 million some-odd viewers. Without a shift in time slot and because the fall run of “Chuck” rarely if ever conflicted with the spring run of “Terminator,” I’m guessing one of those action shows will be canceled by season’s end.

There’s interesting news for “Idol” fans, who have been abandoning the No. 1 show in droves lately. The Wednesday night results show has mercifully been reduced to a half-hour. It’s one thing to keep an audience wondering; it’s another to bore them to tears. Long overdue move there.

As for new fall shows, the network is debuting only two. “Fringe” (pictured right) is a one-hour sci-fi drama by an up-and-comer by the name of J.J. Abrams. Slated to air Tuesdays this fall before “House,” “Fringe” stars former “Mighty Ducks” trilogy/”Dawson’s Creek” star Joshua Jackson as a scientist who investigates paranormal activity with a female FBI agent.

The other fall debut is “Do Not Disturb” (formerly called “The Inn”), a half-hour Wednesday comedy starring recent “Carpoolers” star Jerry O’Connell as the general manager of a hotel and “Reno: 911’s” hilarious Niecy Nash.

Like any J.J. Abrams project (see: “Lost” and “Cloverfield”), “Fringe” has a lot of buzz. And it’s hard to frown upon anything affiliated with an “Arrested Development” alum, who in this case is Jason Bateman; he directed the “Do Not Disturb” pilot.

In the spring, expect more debuts: The Joss Whedon project “Dollhouse,” starring Eliza Dushku, whom I’m convinced is most famous for being hot; the animated “The Cleveland Show,” a “Family Guy” spinoff; and another animated series, “Class Dismissed” (or “Sit Down, Shut Up,” depending on the source) featuring voice-overs by “Arrested Development” stars Bateman and “30 Rock” regular Will Arnett. Also in the mix is “Secret Millionaire,” a reality show version of “The Prince and the Pauper.”

Beyond that, expect a lot of familiar fare (“Idol,” “House” and the 20th[!] season of “The Simpsons”), including a ton of reality programming ranging from the inane (“Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader”) to the insane (“The Moment of Truth”). And if someone wants to tell me why “Prison Break” is still on the air, I’d be willing to listen.

Among the shows not to return this fall are two sitcoms with great stars but poor execution: the Parker Posey-Lauren Ambrose vehicle “The Return of Jezebel James” and the Kelsey Grammer-Patricia Heaton-led “Back to You.” Fans of “The Office” might be disappointed AND relieved that the talented Rashida Jones’ awful sitcom, “Unhitched,” was axed.

Also gone, according to the (New York) Daily News: “Anchorwoman,” “Canterbury’s Law,” “K-Ville,” “Nashville,” “New Amsterdam” and “The Next Great American Band.” (The lesson on that last one: There’s only one “American Idol.” You’d think they would have learned that lesson after the frightfest that was “American Juniors.”)

After the break, check out the full Fox fall schedule for 2008. (Thanks to BuddyTV and E! for making this easy for me.) Read more of this entry »

Ladies and gentlemen of the press, meet the Oceanic 6.

And please, immediately start poking holes in their cover story.

Wow, anyone else literally jumping up in down in frustration when you realized that we have to wait TWO weeks to find out what was teased so brilliantly last night?

“Lost” always presents questions, of course, and I’m sure the show’s final two hours on May 29 will leave us with some hum-dingers. But it seems that the finale will indeed answer a few things that have been killing us since the season began—heck, since last season ended.

How do the Oceanic 6 make it off the island? Why were these six castaways the chosen ones? And why do they have to tell a boatload of lies about the crash?

It’s like we’re about to finish the second leg of a triathlon: We’re so excited about completing most of the race, but the finish line is still way off in the distance.

Anyway, let’s kick off our recap with a rundown of what happens to each of the Oceanic 6 after they’re rescued.

The episode opened with the group in the back of a cargo plane, on their way to a military base in Hawaii. Jack tells an Oceanic flunky that they’ll talk to reporters when they get there, and once she leaves, he turns to the rest to get their stories straight.

Earlier in the season, I thought that Widmore’s people or another shadowy organization may have forced the O6 into their cover story, possibly by threatening those left behind on the island.

But now it seems that Jack is the one urging everyone to lie, and they’re all happy to go along. Which is way creepier than if they didn’t have much of a choice. What on earth happened to them to make them seemingly betray their friends?

Once at the base, the reunion scene was poignant. First, the relief to be home was so evident on all the Sixers’ faces.

And the fact that no one was there to greet Kate and Sayid was heartbreaking. But they seemed to be embraced by the others as part of their families: Hurley dragging Sayid over to meet his parents was sweet.

Bittersweet, though, because as the episode went on, you realized that all this togetherness, this friendship, is eventually going to go terribly, terribly wrong.

So you may have heard that producer Damon Lindelof was quoted awhile back saying there would be a “spectacular kiss” in this season’s finale.

And that smooch is one of his favorite moments so far in the entire SERIES!

Later, ol’ Lindy spilled that the kiss wouldn’t happen on the island.

Then your feverish little brains probably went haywire, trying to figure out who the fantastic couple could be.

Jack and Kate?

Faithful Jaters seem to think so, especially after the recent flash-forward episode had the couple engaged and playing Mommy and Daddy to Aaron (although that didn’t seem to end so well).

Sawyer and Kate?

Skaters have pointed to the same episode, when Kate confessed to a secret promise made to Sawyer. That showed our Southern boy—even though he’s presumably back on the island—still had the power to come between Jate.

I say: No way!

Be honest: Would either of those scenarios truly blow your mind? Been there, done that.

But what about Claire and Aaron?

I’ll admit I was on board with this possibility at first. Big emotional moment, a total sobfest as Aaron gets taken away from his mommy, right?

But that was before Claire went all undead on us, abandoning Aaron to hang out with Ghost Daddy Christian and act creepy in Jacob’s cabin.

Now here’s who I REALLY think will lock lips before the season ends on May 29.

Are you ready?

PENNY and DESMOND!!

Yes, I’m thinking that our star-crossed lovers—she’s his constant, yay!—will reunite and that’s going to be one of the whiz-bang moments that “Lost” loves to leave us with.

Read on to find out why…

If you want a completely spoiler-free “Lost” finale—which kicks off its first hour on Thursday—then read NO further.

But if you’re jonesing for a really juicy tidbit, get this:

We’re gonna see lots of our favorite secondary characters from the series in the finale’s final two hours on May 29.

I’m talking Walt.

I’m talking Christian.

Penny.

Charles Widmore.

Richard Alpert.

And Dr. Marvin Candle.

WHOO HOO!!!

Oceanic Six, schmix. I’ve got nothing but love for Jack, Kate, Hurley, Sun and the rest of the  series regulars (who, of course, include non-Sixers Sawyer, Locke, Jin, Ben, Desmond, etc.).

But has any other drama incorporated guest stars so completely, so absorbingly, that they could be mistaken for leads?

(And before all you haters jump on me, I know Walt was one of the stars back in the day, but considering we’ve seen only two quick glimpses of him in two years, I’m relegating him to the “recurring character” category…)

You can’t get more crucial to the show’s mythology than Charles Widmore, right?  He’s Ben’s opponent for control of the island in what appears to be a real-life game of Risk.

And Penny?

She’s Desmond’s freakin’ constant.

And she’s a character so well-written, so well-played by Sonya Walger, that we could easily forget that Penny’s only appeared in FOUR episodes of “Lost.”

ABC unveiled its 2008-09 primetime schedule this morning, with few (okay, make that no) surprises.

In addition to hits like “Desperate Housewives” and “Grey’s Anatomy,” the network brought back all of last year’s breakthrough—though not breakout—dramas, which had their freshman seasons cut short because of the writers’ strike.

They include: “Dirty Sexy Money,” “Eli Stone,” “Private Practice” and “Pushing Daisies.”

And as expected (or already announced), the network dumped “Women’s Murder Club,” “Men in Trees,” “October Road” and “Miss/Guided.”

ABC also announced one new drama, David E. Kelley’s “Life on Mars,” based on a British series about a modern-day police detective who is transported back to 1973 after a car crash.

The network also picked up a game show from producer Ashton Kutcher called “Opportunity Knocks,” which ABC Entertainment President Steve McPherson called a cross between “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition” and “Who Wants to Be A Millionaire.”

As for comedies,”According to Jim” will be back for its EIGHTH season. (Jim Belushi HAS to have naked photos of someone high up, right?) The worst kept secret in TV was announced, too: That “Scrubs” will move to ABC, now that NBC’s dropped it. Both of those sitcoms will be back mid-season.

Speaking of mid-season, other shows scheduled to air in early 2009 include: “Lost,” “The Bachelor,” “The Goode Family” (an animated series) and a untitled beauty pageant reality show produced Tyra Banks and (again!) Ashton Kutcher.

In other news, “Ugly Betty” is indeed moving production from L.A. to NYC.

And David E. Kelley is coming back to write most of what will be the final season of “Boston Legal.” (Thank goodness.)

So who made up the big winners and losers of the upfronts? Let’s see:

Poor John Locke.

Born premature to a teen-age mother. Dumped into an unloving foster family. Picked on in high school.

Conned into giving up a kidney to his (supposed) birth father, who tried to kill him by tossing him out an eight-story window. Stuck in a wheelchair.

Survived a plane crash. Gut shot and left for dead in a grave full of rotting corpses.

And now he’s ghost whispering in a creepy jungle cabin.

To quote that dastardly Benjamin Linus:

Destiny, John, is a fickle bitch.

Uh, or is it?

Because John Locke’s life seems to have been totally engineered by Richard freakin’ Alpert!!!

Last night’s episode, “Cabin Fever,” was an old-fashioned “Lost” show, with only flashbacks, and no time-trippy flash-forwards to contend with.

It didn’t make the hour any less confusing though, with good ol’ Dr. Alpert popping up throughout Locke’s life without aging a nanosecond. And don’t get me started—not yet anyway!—on the Christian-Claire encounter in Jacob’s Kooky Cabin.

Still, this episode wasn’t exactly Excitement City. Quite frankly, this and last week’s installments seem to have been merely set-ups for the rockin’ season finale, “There’s No Place Like Home” (which kicks off Part I next week).

But that doesn’t mean there’s not plenty to talk about. Light a lantern, grab an Apollo candy bar and let’s dive into a Dharma pit of questions…

Two weeks ago, when Claire survived a rocket-propelled grenade attack on her Othersville home with little more than a cut on her pretty forehead, I wondered: Is “Lost” venturing into soap opera territory?

Come on, how on earth could she come out of that explosion alive?

Um, maybe because she didn’t?

I’m not the only one thinking that Aaron’s baby mama may no longer be among the living.

Entertainment Weekly’s “Lost” guru, Doc Jensen, floated that theory in his recap of last week’s outing. So did J. Wood over at Powells.com.

And it’s pretty popular in online forums: Plenty of fans—like this one—are on board with the notion, too.

After all, do we Lost-philes really think that the masters of this show—who know that we’ll examine every minute detail —would resort to an “All My Children” technique?

It’s hard to believe that the writers would blow up Claire’s house just to ramp up the drama, hoping that the viewers would chalk up her unlikely survival to dumb luck.

Everything on “Lost” means something.

So that brings us to this week’s debate topic:

Is Claire dead?

There’s certainly lots of clues that point to it. But I don’t know if we’re looking at Ghost Claire.

I think that—like Christian Shephard—Claire is now undead.

Not in a vampire sort of way. More like she’s trapped in limbo, with the island preventing her spirit from “moving on.”

Perhaps that’s because, like Jack and Locke, she’s “got work to do?”

Stick with me here, people. Read on for more of my convoluted explanation…

The Jack-Kate-Sawyer love triangle was in full focus on last night’s episode, “Something Nice Back Home,” and it seems that Sawyer doesn’t even have to be around to cause trouble for the reconnected Team Jate.

Jack and Kate rekindled their romance both on and off the island, kicking off their jungle love again when Jack’s life is threatened by a bum appendix.

Juliet saves him with a quick operation, then presumably puts an end to the fledgling Jacket relationship by telling Kate that they kissed recently, but only because Jack was trying to convince himself that he didn’t love “someone else.” Awww, sweet!

Flash-forward to post-island life: Kate and Jack are living together, which means Jack’s playing Daddy to Aaron, a job at which Kate tells him he’s “a natural.”

Obviously, this flash occurs sometime between Kate’s trial (when Jack was reluctant to see Aaron) and Season 3’s finale (when Jack and Kate are no longer together, Jack’s suicidal and determined to go back to the island).

Jack’s downward spiral is certainly foreshadowed in this episode, though. His engagement to Kate doesn’t seem as happy as it should be (Oceanic 6 guilt?), and by the episode’s end, he’s starting to drink heavily and turn to prescription meds.

Of course, Jack’s emotional state isn’t helped by his disturbing visit with Hurley and repeated glimpses of his dear old dead dad, Christian.

Jack is called to the mental hospital because Hurley’s illness is worsening: He thinks that the Oceanic 6 really died, and they’re stuck in some off-island afterlife. After all, isn’t Jack’s life with Kate and Aaron kind of like heaven?

Then Hurley tells him he’s continued to talk to Charlie. Our favorite deceased rock star has a message for Jack, one that was so important that he made Hurley write it down so he didn’t mess it up.

“You’re not supposed to raise him, Jack.”

Deja vu, anyone?

Up until last week’s episode, we hadn’t seen the smoke monster in awhile on “Lost.” But man, when Ol’ Smokey decided to show up again, he really makes an entrance.

The Smokinator crashed into the jungle, hell bent on attacking Keamy and the freighter mercenaries after Alex was killed. It also created a diversion so Ben, Locke, Hurley, Sawyer, Claire, Aaron and Miles could get away from the barracks.

Need a reminder of Smokey’s power? Go here to replay last week’s crucial scene.

Of course, the most important thing we learned was that Ben can apparently summon the monster from the secret room in his cabin.

We also discovered that Ben lied to Locke earlier this season—no big surprise there!—when he said he didn’t know what the smoke monster was.

So that brings us to this week’s “Lost” debate, one that was brought up in very first episode when we saw trees being uprooted and heard that freaky horn noise.

What the heck is that thing?

So Lost-philes, have you noticed that we haven’t been seeing as much as we’d like of Sawyer this season?

Sure, we got to see him shirtless again. And he’s sweetly become a surrogate Charlie, the protector of Claire and Hurley.

But mostly, it seems like our favorite honey-dipped castaway has been running around and asking the same questions that we’d probably ask if we were on the island.

Which are basically variations of “Huh?” and “What the hell’s going on?”

Never fear. I hear that there’s big plans afoot for Sawyer before “Lost” concludes Season 4 on May 29.

(SUPER-DUPER SPOILER ALERT AHEAD!)

The show’s uber-producers told reporters earlier this month that the season finale will reveal what happens to Sawyer and why he isn’t part of the Oceanic 6.

And it all hinges on the Sawyer-Kate-Jack love triangle.

(Go here to hear more about it in producer Damon Lindelof’s own words.)

So it makes sense that E! Online’s TV diva, Kristin, is now reporting that there’s a super-secret Sawyer scene in the works for the finale. One that she believes is the expected “game-changer” that will end the show’s trademark flashbacks and flash-forwards.

And Kristin’s scoop connects the dots to Dark UFO’s tip that Josh Holloway was spotted at LAX earlier this month because he was in Los Angeles to film that very same secret scene.

And the scene isn’t a flashback.

So, does Sawyer make it off the island? If so, how does that happen if he’s not one of the Oceanic 6?

OR, are there now TWO Sawyers?

Well, not quite, but FHM has its annual list of the 100 sexiest women of 2008, and at least 14 15 of them are familiar to our blog’s faithful readers:

90. Summer Glau (Cameron, Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles)
83. Jenna Fischer (Pam, The Office)
73. Carrie Underwood (American Idol)
63. Grace Park (The Eights/Sharons, Battlestar Galactica)
49. Katherine Heigl (Dr. Isobel ‘Izzie’ Stevens, Grey’s Anatomy)
41. Kristin Kreuk (Lana Lang, Smallville)
38. Katherine McPhee (American Idol)
37. Evangeline Lilly (Kate, Lost)
24. Kristen Bell (Elle, Heroes)
19. Ali Larter (Niki Sanders & Co., Heroes)
15. Erica Durance (Lois Lane, Smallville)
11. Hayden Panettiere (Claire Bennett, Heroes)
9. Blake Lively (Serena van der Woodsen, Gossip Girl)
8. Tricia Helfer (The Sixes, Battlestar Galactica)
4. Elisha Cuthbert (Kim Bauer, 24)

That’s more than 10 percent of the list accounted for. Hey! Where’s the 100 sexiest men of 2008?? (And isn’t April/May kind of early in the year for this sort of listing?)

Piano playing. Machine gun firing. Arabic speaking. Karate chopping. Horse riding. Lock picking.

Smokey summoning. Death threatening.

Is there anywhere that Benjamin Linus can’t go, or anything he can’t do?

From the looks of last night’s episode, it doesn’t look like it.

And if I were Charles Widmore, I’d be nervous.

Because we’ve all seen what Ben can do when he’s simply upset, and now that Widmore’s had Ben’s adopted daughter killed, Ben is really, really pissed.

And that means trouble for Penny.

Holy. Freaking. Smoke. Monster.

Last night’s Ben-centric outing, “The Shape of Things to Come,” was too wild for words, with our favorite bug-eyed bad guy tripping all over the globe.

(And seriously, if this episode doesn’t bring an Emmy home for Michael Emerson, I don’t know what else a brother can do. Emerson brought everything to his performance last night—and I’m guessing he had to learn a bunch o’ mad new skills, besides being one bad-ass actor. It’s absolutely criminal for him to be overlooked in the fall.)

Anyway, the action started with the island’s discovery of the body of Dr. Ray from the freighter. We started getting the “we’re not in Kansas anymore” time-travel feeling when Daniel called the ship, and after lying about what they really said (Bernard knows Morse code!), told the beach dwellers that the doctor is all hunky-dory back on the boat.

Also on the island, the war against Locke’s camp started with a bunch of Red Shirts getting shot and Claire’s house being blown up.

Our golden-haired girl, however, managed to emerge A-OK from a pile of rubble!

The episode really launched, though, with the unexpected murder of Alex by Keamy.

Ben tried to talk his way out of that one—disavowing her as his daughter because he stole her from Rousseau—but soon she was dead on the jungle floor.

Then, SWOOSH! Ben dives into his secret room, which had another secret door that looked like it was carved with Egyptian hieroglyphics—and comes out all sooty.

Next thing you know, Ol’ Smokey’s on the rampage, seizing soldiers by the ankles and allowing Ben, Locke and the gang to escape.

And that’s just what Ben was up to on the ISLAND.

There’s honestly so much “Lost” info out there today that I’m at a loss where to start.

But I suppose tonight’s episode would be a good kickoff.

(And DON’T FORGET: “Lost” moves to 10 p.m. tonight, after “Grey’s Anatomy!”)

It’s no secret that “The Shape of Things to Come” is a Ben-centric extravaganza: He’s globe-trotting from Tunisia to Iraq in flash-forward sequences.

And back on the island, you’ll learn that Ben has a hidden talent—besides manipulation, that is. (It’s more like a musical skill.)

More importantly, the attack on Locke’s camp starts, and Entertainment Weekly’s Doc Jensen was on set during filming. Go here to watch Doc’s video interview with producers Carlton Cuse and Damon Lindelof and some of the cast members (like Josh Holloway: Sawyer, yay!).

Speaking of Sawyer, here’s a teensy preview of what’s in store tonight for our sugar-tongued bad boy.

He risks his life to protect someone, and you might be surprised by who it is.