I have to admit, I wasn’t that excited about the show’s June 8 return. Partly that’s because of the way the last season ended, with Nancy driving to Esteban’s lair and, in the face of certain death, revealing her pregnancy. I just couldn’t buy that she would take that chance or that it couldn’t end badly for her.

Since the show is indeed returning with Mary Louise Parker on Monday, it’s no great spoiler to say that in the season premiere he doesn’t shoot her on the spot. (And that’s about as spoilery as I plan to get here.)

The other reason I wasn’t giddy about the show’s return is that it’s gotten so far afield from its initial premise of a pot dealing suburban widow. Nancy Botwin has since gotten herself tangled in gun, drug and human trafficking not to mention organized crime. From the dealer down the street, she’s become something very different, both unfamiliar and unrelatable.

That’s too bad. Then again, there’s a reason I keep watching. It’s still a really well-written show with a mostly great cast of characters.  (I can do without the Botwin boys.) I can not like what’s happening but still like how it’s playing out.

That’s been my take for about two seasons, and it’s my take after watching the debut of Season 5, “Wonderful Wonderful.”

So, no, Nancy isn’t joining her late husband any time soon, but there is a palpable sense of dread about her as she confronts her newly tenuous existence coupled with her pregnancy. That bit of news goes over rather poorly with the family, by the way.

Silas and Andy are still discussing their planned foray into pot farming, and Shane is looking to get in on the action. He’s still his middle school’s top-grossing pot dealer, and his goth girl groupies are still hanging around.

It’s Doug and Celia—Kevin Nealon and Elizabeth Perkins—who make this comedy comical for me, even if both can get annoying. We get to see Doug still in the grips of the worst life spiral ever and coping with not much more than the occasional one-liner. Celia, on the other hand, is off on an adventure.

Last we saw her she’d traveled to Mexico to make amends with her estranged daughter, who in turn drugged her and threatened her with all kinds of harm. Watching how that plays out was the highlight of the premiere, I’d say. There’s so many laughs to be had from vicious threats and family animosity, no? Actually, it’s this reformed and pretty sympathetic Celia that is most entertaining. She’s actually respectable, if you can believe it.

At the center of it all, though is Nancy, and the inner turmoil she’s created through a dizzying sequence of horrific life choices is pretty compelling to watch unfold.

The show’s been averaging about 12 episodes a season so far. That would put the Season 5 finale sometime in mid- to late-August. I’m down for that summer ride.

Last season brought us Albert Brooks in a hilariously cantankerous role that pretty much went nowhere. This season will bring a few more familiar faces guest starring, including Alanis Morissette (source: EW.com) and Jennifer Jason Leigh (source: ign.com).

Also, for those interested in additional reading, Mary-Louise Parker is ‘always naked.’

Photo courtesy Showtime

It’s not surprising the same names keep coming up in these contests, since there are so few comedies on TV these days.

As usual, Alec Baldwin and the cast of 30 Rock go up against Steve Carell and the cast of The Office in the Outstanding Actor and Outstanding Ensemble in a Comedy Series categories, respectively.

There’s every possibility, however unfair, that Jeremy Piven and the cast of Entourage could send both home winless.My money’s on Baldwin and The Office. My heart is on Carell and 30 Rock.

Weeds is up in the comedy series category, too, as is star Mary Louise Parker for Outstanding Actress, though my heart and money are on Tina Fey, but only by a little.

The 15th Annual SAG Awards airs Jan. 25 on TNT and TBS.

Speaking of SAG, by the way, OfficeTally has sifted through and pulled out all the Office folks from the list of some 130 actors opposing a strike by the union. Really? After what a hoot last year’s WGA strike was?

One curious omission struck me: Jenna Fischer.

Could be because she’s been busy. According to Variety, she’s exec-producing “an hourlong comedic drama about a lumber salesman who solves a crime and becomes a private eye, along with a ragtag group of pals.”

Ragtag? Really?

Rainn Wilson is branching out too, according to the piece. He’s partnering with Adam Braff on Hump Tulips, “about a lawyer who winds up in a small Washington town in pursuit of the woman he loves.”

Both projects are through Universal, as in NBC Universal.

And since I mentioned 30 Rock, I’ll just point out that Salma Hayek’s first episode has been shot, and she reportedly found Alec Baldwin to be quite a handful. The Sun, via BuddyTV, got the scoop.

“Salma plays my mother’s nurse and I find out I have testicular cancer.  She shoves her hands down my pants and that was the first episode I shot with Salma,” he said.

True to form, bad karma eludes our heroine. And we fans are left wondering what changes – of locale, criminal behavior and familial makeup – the next nine months will bring. All in all, though, last night’s season 4 finale of Weeds redeemed an uneven, unsettled summer of a show that risked everything by taking things in a new and not always accepted direction.

I think I can conclude now that the move to Ren Mar was understandable and possibly necessary from a creative perspective. That said, I never felt that the show recovered from abandoning its suburban home base, which was so integral to its identity.

But rather than the story about the banality of suburban drug dealing, we were treated to the story of the inevitable downward spiral that results from dabbling in the truly venal.

Selling pot was a way to get by, Nancy rationalized. And who would tell a recent widow facing the loss of her home and lifestyle for trying to sustain some semblence of normalcy for her children? But that rationale long ago gave way to a craving for danger the suburbanite mom might never otherwise taste.

And that was a fun ride for three escalating seasons. Season 4, however, was the season when things went too far. And it came to head as soon as Nancy watched Guillermo lead those girls out of the tunnel and into a life Nancy couldn’t bear to imagine. Suddenly it wasn’t about living life on the risky side. Suddenly Nancy found herself complicit in the kinds of things she long told herself she’d never condone.

It wasn’t “just pot” anymore. Now she was effectively a human trafficker. And when Agent Till’s partner, in both senses of the word, turned up dead, faceless and hung from a border fence, Nancy’s actions had exacted a far greater cost than even the corruption of her sons.

Watching her drive down the highway to the border, calling in a birthday gift basket for Silas and trying to find the right words for the card, was excruciating. And the whole time I wondered why she was putting her head in the mouth of the lion instead of seeking the protection of Till and the DEA.

But that was never Nancy’s way. That’s not how she escaped U-Turn or her former DEA husband. She survives the way she lives, by gambling. And she gambled that the sight of an ultrasound image would move Esteban to spare her life and forgive her for squealing. In real life, she ends up on the same wall that Till’s partner did. But that’s not Nancy’s world.

A few reflections on some of the astonishing things we saw last night…

•  Watching Doug put the noose around his neck as he narrated a goodbye letter to his wife was one of the darkest and saddest moments on this show. When it turned out to be an angry experiment in auto-erotic asphyxiation, I kind of wished Doug would slip and fall, putting an end to what has become one of the most unlikeable characters on TV. I can’t believe he had his Mermex deported.


• Andy realizing he’s in love with Nancy and then consoling her tub-side was actually pretty sweet. His likeability has followed the opposite arc to Doug’s. I also liked his child-like comment on Nancy’s exposed upper torso.


• Silas seems like he might actually have grown up some. He’s got a business plan, albeit as stupid and poorly conceived a plan as his mother’s initial turn to drug dealing. Still, his romp with the cheese shop mom illustrated that maturity and age don’t always correlate.


• Shane’s a schoolyard dealer, huh? And he’s got his “Wild Things”-like goth posse. Too bad. I never liked that kid.


• Celia’s reunion with her daughter was insincere yet strangely sweet. That her daughter would drug her and hold her ransom betrays a deep-seated hatred that’s pretty understandable for any offspring of Celia’s. Still, does she really think Dean’s going to pay to get Nancy back? He’d rather see her shipped home in pieces.

I have a hard time imagining a Season 5 centered around her as the matriarch of a Mexican drug and smuggling cartel. But I guess a return to Agrestic just isn’t in the cards. You can’t go home again.

But he’s not Silvio and she’s sure no Andrianna. In Ren Mar, unlike north Jersey, snitching apparently is not a capital offense.

I’ve said it before, and we’ve seen it again, there are few consequences in Nancy Botwin’s life. So she can turn to her old friend at the DEA to assuage the guilt she feels for running a front for a gun-smuggling and human trafficking operation. And you know what? It’ll probably work.

She’ll eliminate Guillermo as the ever-present threat he is to her and her family’s safety, and she’ll live to tell the tale just as surely as she survived U-Turn, her secret husband and every other pinch she’s gotten into. Esteban may know what she’s done—the previews hinted that Cesar is still lobbying Esteban against her—but I doubt she’ll put much of a crimp in his operation or earn herself a one-way trip to the Pine Barrens, as it were.

Things are winding down on this abbreviated season, and we know where things are headed. Nancy’s going to assert her conscience and possibly her independence. Silas is back in the family business and looking for mom’s support in establishing a new operation, the likes of which they left behind in Majestic. Shane’s up to his ears in hypersexual schoolmates, which is probably a lot like his Uncle Andy’s adolescence. And Doug is losing his Mermex whether he knows it or not.

I love that storyline second best. Doug can’t help but be Doug. He’s crass, unethical and self-centered. He’s dug himself a hole in life and he keeps on digging. Maria, though, notices Andy is most everything Doug isn’t, and that makes for a love triangle that can’t end well.

Erin over at TVSquad made the Arrested Development comparison I’m kicking myself for missing. This is just like Michael’s crush on Marta, in spite of his hermano.

The story I’m loving best is Celia’s. She’s everything that’s great about this show, sometimes. She’s in cushy rehab with a feisty Bob Odenkirk, who smuggled—uncomfortably, from the sound of it—his own stash into treatment.

It looked like significant plot turn when he blamed his dalliance on her, but they let that go quickly and opted for the no-insurance twist. From the nurturing setting of other suburbanite snorters, Celia went to a virtual crack den of a 12-step meeting where her attitude ain’t gonna fly. Who was scarier, the crackhead or the group leader?

Silas and Lisa are serving up hoagies full of green stuff that isn’t lettuce. I can’t watch these two anymore. Their romantic connection has been dragged out too long, and now the cheese shop is swarming with potheads dropping Benjamins like it’s nothing and there’s not a cop in sight. I don’t care if you’ve got Limburger on special, the scent of those hoagies is going to attract the wrong kind of attention.

Oh yeah, and Shane is doing exactly what I expected him to do. He’s going with what’s working for him. The idea of him and Isabelle having a tryst with the goth girls is pretty weird, but it’s not really out of character. Despite being gay, Isabelle seems to have a crush on Shane. Maybe I’m wrong.

Two episodes to go, for better or for worse. Then it’s the hiatus until Season 5. I wonder if they’ve rebuilt in Majestic by now?

That’s my totally subjective assessment, based on little more than my vague impression after the last two episodes. I’m just not feeling it lately. Or anymore. I can’t tell which. All I know for sure is that when the credits roll, I’m not feeling this show.

Maybe the abandonment of Agrestic/Majestic finally caught up to Nancy Botwin, in my mind, anyway. Maybe it’s that I watched three seasons worth of episodes in four months and and all Weeds‘ed out.

Or maybe Weeds is just on the decline.

Last night Nancy began having John Travolta-in-Phenomenon-type moments she called headaches but which Esteban called cries-for-hallucinogens. Transition then to a Lost Boys-type scene where she trips out with Esteban and his shaman guy. All you needed was for Kiefer Sutherland to tell her she’s eating maggots and it would have been complete.

Clearly Esteban is right about one thing: the stress is finally getting to her. Why now? I mean, after U-Turn, crazy DEA hubby and Heylia all threatening to kill her, why is now any different. Ah, but there’s a moral. Nancy witnessed evidence that the tunnel is used for human trafficking, the worst kind, too, judging by the look on that young girl’s face as Guillermo led her away.

Sorry, but I can’t stand the most amoral woman on TV having a moral crisis. It’s worse than when Tony Soprano cried his eyes out over his prized racehorse’s death. We get it. You’re not a saint. This isn’t a show about people always doing the right thing in the end. We accept that and buy into it whole-hog. Don’t reverse course and show our fair heroine feeling pangs of conscience all of a sudden.

She was ready to run whatever drugs were planeted in her Prius and couldn’t be happy with the easiest, best-paying retail job in the world without dipping her nose in a drug trade she had no business in.

That’s who Nancy is. She needs the thrill of the illicit. She’s way past providing for her family. She’s feeding an addiction to danger. If she throws it all away to be a hero, it’ll be completely out of character, not to mention uninteresting.

You know what’s interesting? Celia cuffed to her bed for a forced intervention. What blew me away was that Isabelle still wants her concern, even knowing she’ll never have her approval. I’d much rather see nasty, nose-in-the-air Celia than the pathetic junkie we’ve seen her become this season.

Out on the border, Dough has found his girl. But the jig is up with his Minuteman buddy. Gotta feel bad for the one border-crosser Doug and Andy threw back to make their getaway. Who says civilian militiamen don’t have feelings too?

On the homefront, Silas is growing jealous. This storyline is too annoying to merit further commentary.

Upstairs, Shane is living the dream, the dream of every 13-year-old boy. His girlfriends have big plans for him, if only he can go through with them. You can’t blame him for getting cold feet, though. Those girls are pretty fierce-looking. Hate to say it, but I think he’s carrying a torch for Isabelle. Too bad she’s carrying a torch for his mom.

Where are things headed? Well, guilt or something like it is giving Nancy visions of that sweet-faced girl. Meanwhile, her sons have become something of her making that she’s not altogether comfortable with. A change of course is due.

I’m just not sure I can stomach it.

(Oh, and Sanjay just makes me miss 30 Rock even more.)

Shane belongs in an insane asylum. There’s puberty and there’s lunacy. He crossed the line, hit the gas and kept going. Seriously, how’d that ever make it out of the writer’s room and onto the screen? I don’t care if your mom is Mary Louise Parker, that’s just not cool.

And no, I’m not going to spell out what that is.

Silas, on the other hand, gotta give props to the boy. He’s making the most of his connections in the retail cheese industry.

Honestly, though, has there been any more of a salacious storyline in this show’s four seasons in which Silas and Lisa, the neighbor cheese lady, become a hot and heavy item? Sure, they’re making it a business venture, and Silas does have a head for the business. But it still seems kind of gratuitous. Not that I’m complaining. It is fun to follow along.

Boy, I sure am beating around the bush here. Tough to be specific when the specifics are barely NC-17 rated.

Anyway, I nearly clapped when Nancy laid it out for neighbor cheese lady why it’s not nice get intimate with another woman’s young son. And she didn’t lay down any false morality or make any threats, idle or otherwise. She simply pondered the possibility of her own May-December romance with cheese lady’s son. Threat neutralized, as they say.

Seriously, what’s wrong with Shane, though? Eeewww. Sorry, lost my way there.

Anyway, Celia is a cokehead. That is the fastest addiction in the history of addictions. What was that, one hit. I loved how she marked down merchandise at the register just to score quick cash. Who’s stocking that store, anyway? Clearly the writers have never worked in retail. That’d be a logistical nightmare having a tunnel in your stockroom.

When Celia wanders into the tunnel, she nearly gets herself killed and also prompts Cesar to complain to Esteban about Nancy being reckless. Esteban is clearly charmed by her, though.

After wacking the cool kid upside the head with a tray, Shane could have any girl in school. Why’s he hanging onto that snapshot of a scantily clad Nancy. (I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.)

The dual mom talk with Silas and Shane was slightly confusing to follow, but it was a clever device to show the parallels between the two sticky situations the Botwin boys find themselves in and Nancy’s responsible approach to dealing with them. Still, Andy should have talked to Shane. The uncle who takes you to your first massage parlor is the uncle who should talk you down from the sick, twisted ledge Shane finds himself on.

Previews last week showed Andy and Doug confronted at gunpoint in an alley by a mean coyote. I knew then it would come to naught. No one on this show ever gets stuck long in that kind of a pinch. But it was cool to see Andy’s followers, disciples actually, come to his aid. I’m not sure why Andy didn’t get shot in the back anyway, but it worked.

And it looks like Doug will find his cross-border love, the one he’s been searching for weeks for, soon enough.

And you’ll be happy to know I finally got caught up with all the past episodes I’d missed. Man, Majestic/Agrestic burned up fast.

Anyway, remember when Ren Mar was this new place where the Botwins didn’t quite seem to fit? I can barely remember what it was like when it wasn’t home.

What was Nancy thinking when she went behind Guillermo’s back last week? We knew the seeds were sewn for her boredom early on, and a return to the weed-dealing game was coming soon. And I don’t know (or at least I don’t recall) what Guillermo’s problem was when he said no to her request for product to start dealing again.

I guess he was still mad about her foray into the tunnel, which didn’t reflect well on him with Esteban.

But going over Guillermo’s head to Esteban was only going to ruffle his machismo, as evidenced by his threat to kill her in front of her kids. I liked how Esteban handled that bit of business. I can’t imagine Guillermo thinks everything is settled, though.

In fact I was pretty sure it was his crew that was responsible for shooting up the restaurant where Nancy and Esteban went to eat, though logically that would not have added up. It would have been suicide. Still, I was sure Nancy would come out of that bathroom to see Esteban in a bullet-riddled lump. And after she vandalized his photo like that, too.

Andy and Doug are in full swing with their kinder, gentler coyote business. Andy fancies himself a modern-day Moses, while Doug is stretching the believability of his established character by hoodwinking that Minuteman militia leader so smoothly. Maybe love makes you do bold things.

Their clientele sure seem to like the matzoh treatment, but word is already getting around. That coyote Andy shot in the leg has a long memory and a bad limp. Still, you can never feel too suspenseful with this show. Bad things have a way of never really happening to these people.

Well, that’s not totally true. Celia’s having a tough time staying awake. She’s forced to be the mom she never tried to be, not that Isabelle is necessarily feeling the love so much. But a little happy sniffing sauce has Celia in high gear behind the counter, and as bad as she is at the job she’s probably not much worse than she was before.

That kind of applies to her motherly skills too, no? Isabelle isn’t too happy being an outcast at her new school, and neither is Shane. But his assertive tack—smacking the cool kid upside the head with a tray—is a unique tack.

In other news, Silas is living every 17-year-old’s dream, assuming every 17-year-old dreams of being a pot-growing prodigy with a gorgeous, older cheesemonger for a girlfriend. A business partnership is taking shape with those two to go with the romantic one they’ve got going. This would seem like a very bad idea, but luckily logic seldom applies to this show.

If it did, everyone would already be dead or in jail, no?

Second, the Reform Movement is where all the really cool Jewish people are.

I will not vouch for the veracity of either claim, but I really do like the writing on this show. It’s snarky and hip without being snotty and condescending (as long as Andy isn’t on a political jag beyond his level of education).

At any rate, it isn’t just the repartee that is getting interesting. Life in Ren Mar is starting to find its own rhythm beyond being the fancy new locale for a show once rooted elsewhere.

Nancy has got the spelunking bug and can’t resists a forbidden tunnel stroll. Turns out that hole in her stockroom leads to the men’s room of the garage where Guillermo sent her to have her “taillight repaired.” She spots a dapper gentleman in a suit and his thugs spot her.

Roughly escorted back to the shop, where a machine gun-toting guard will soon be stationed at the hole, she isn’t off the hook yet. Before long she has a bag over her head and she’s taking a ride in a trunk. You don’t see a lot of on-the-street abductions like that.

The suited gentleman, who we’ll eventually learn is a local Mexican politician by the name of Esteban Reyes,  may have a spanking fetish and he takes snooping exceedingly seriously. As usual, though, Nancy dabbles in danger and lives to tell the tale.

Rebuffed by Celia, Doug hits the streets with Andy, and they ogle pretty girls until Andy comes up with a business idea: human trafficking. Doug isn’t biting until a few days later, on the beach, when they witness an INS round-up of waterlogged illegals, one of whom steals Doug’s heart in a flash. These are two very stupid men.

I wonder how many people sneak into the country by swimming up the shore. Can’t be that many. But Andy makes a good point: if an unscrupulous coyote can make a killing off the most vulnerable of people, how much better could a kinder, gentler smuggler do?

At home, Shane is selling off Bubbie’s belongings. You’d think Lenny would have done that before he skipped town. Everybody wants a sentimental keepsake, but Shane’s one strict (and morbid) auctioneer.

Silas didn’t get much screentime this week, but he made the most of it, charming the cheese shop owner who I’d venture to say doesn’t eat a lot of cheese. No time, what with all those yoga classes.

You know who doesn’t really fit? Celia. Back as Nancy’s evil sidekick, she sticks out like a hypersexual suburbanite in a blue-collar beach town. She looks good though, more relaxed. And the more Elizabeth Perkins the better, I say. She’s like Kim Catrall, only not grotesque.

Even Isabelle has noticed the change. Yup, Isabelle too found Ren Mar. She hopped a Greyhound from Detroit because still-recuperating Dean has gone after the easy money of defense lawyering where the crime is rampant. He’s also still on the same self-pity bender, and he’s stifling every last drop of Isabelle’s youthful spirit.

Looks like she’ll be sticking around after Celia relented and agreed to put her up. I never got Celia’s and Isabelle’s disdain for each other. Sure, Celia never accepted that Isabelle is gay, and Celia is pretty much a rotten person. But you’d think two people with that much animosity would either kill one another or part ways for good. Yet they keep finding one another.

The fact that Celia went all the way to Detroit to rescue Isabelle from Dean’s terminal mopiness tells me there’s hope for them yet.

So I give it until next week before Nancy goes back down the hole. Does that sound about right?

Not only did it contrast with last week’s sleeper, which was only exciting for about the last 30 seconds, but it stood on its own as an awesome half hour of television.

Nancy Botwin is going into retail. Who saw that coming? I mean besides anyone who saw the previews last week. There’s been a lot of discomfort about this season and the abandonment of Agrestic and the surburban dealer-mom premise the show was built around. Well Ren Mar is the new Agrestic, and the maternity store/drug money front is certainly a new take on a familiar theme.

But first, what about Andy? Oh yeah, Andy! He was cooling his jets on an Igloo cooler last we saw him. And sidetracked by Celia’s foray into government surveillance, Nancy forgot to be back in 45 minutes as promised. You’d think Mr. Responsible could understand someone being 12 hours late for a pickup.

Besides, he needed the distraction of joining a human convoy to Davenport, Iowa, in order to find his mettle. And find it, he did, putting a bullet in a coyote’s knee, saving the girl and retrieving his oh-so-cool Fall Guy belt buckle. (That was a cool show, Lee Majors’ big comeback.)

But the high point of the night for me was Nancy’s quick thinking. The fact that it resulted in a self-serving release is besides the point, but it rocked when she cracked Celia in the teeth with Guillermo’s gun. Way to get even for years of needling, hair pulling and general annoyance. It was also a great cover, giving her time to figure out Celia’s game and what to do about it. There was a little bit of loyalty on display there too, considering she didn’t know what Celia was up to, except that she’d somehow gotten out of jail and showed up outside with a camera (albeit the disposable kind that I didn’t know they made anymore).

She didn’t have to go out on a limb for Celia, even though she got to knock one of her chompers out in the process. She could just have easily sold her out to Guillermo, who’s keeping her in business. It was great when Guillermo gave Nancy permission to hire Celia but at minimum wage only.

Now to the one minor bit of criticism I had, and it has to do with a scene I liked. I’m not talking about Silas unleashing The Swarm in his bedroom. That was actually pretty cool. No, I’m talking about Nancy’s sitdown with Captain Till. She was awfully confident, and he was awfully shaken when she mentioned that her late hubby had given her some juicy dirt that she was sitting on.

Is he really going to get off her back? When they revealed he had connected her with Guillermo, I didn’t see how they could keep Nancy out of jail for long, and the solution was just a little too easy for my tastes. I actually like Till, and I’d rather see him and Nancy reach an understanding based on the fact that she’s not a big fish and that she’s too slick to be his pawn like Celia. Instead, she seems to have him over a rather improbable barrel.

Whatevs. Realism is not always this show’s strong suit. Besides, this gives us the chance to put the feds on the backburner while we focus on that hole in the shop’s back room.

Is it a tunnel to Mexico? Probably. Is it for smuggling people? Drugs? Probably and probably. Does mall management know about the damage to its property? Probably, but it’s not like they’re going to complain to Guillermo.

I sense another game-changer coming. Not on a par with burning down the neighborhood, but there’s going to be a directional shift, I think. It started with Lenny’s departure and moved ahead with Celia’s arrival and Till’s reluctant truce.

You’d have to be one of Nancy’s old customers to believe a lot of what’s going on, but man is it fun to watch regardless.
—————
By  the way, I’m pumped but torn to see Mary Louise Parker nominated for a best actress in a comedy Emmy. Pumped because she’s an amazing actress who actually makes a good show great. Torn because she’s up against Tina Fey for 30 Rock.

The bad: I swear the only reason “The Wire” isn’t among the best drama nominees is because lazy Emmy voters—i.e. most of them—never saw the show. Despite a phenomenal fifth and final season, it’s only up for one writing award. Its only other nomination, also for writing, was back in 2005.

Geez. Where’s the acting love for Lance Riddick (Daniels), Clarke Johnson (Gus), Michael K. Williams (Omar) or Sonja Sohn (Kima)? The only rationale for no acting nominations I can think of is that so many talented “Wire” actors have split the vote over the last five seasons.

“John Adams” led the Emmy nomination pack with 23, and “Mad Men” (17) and “Damages” (16) were the first basic-cable series to be up for top drama.

I’m sure you’ll hear more Emmy commentary from many of us in the weeks to come before the Sept. 21 broadcast, but here’s the crucial info you need to know.

Drama: “Boston Legal,” “Damages,” “Dexter,” “House,” “Lost” and “Mad Men.”

Comedy: “Curb Your Enthusiasm,” “Entourage,” “The Office,” “30 Rock” and “Two and a Half Men.”

Best actor—drama: Gabriel Byrne (“In Treatment”), Bryan Cranston (“Breaking Bad”), Michael C. Hall (“Dexter”), Jon Hamm (“Mad Men”), Hugh Laurie (“House”) and James Spader (“Boston Legal”).

Best actress—drama: Glenn Close (“Damages”), Sally Field (“Brothers and Sisters”), Mariska Hargitay (“Law & Order: Special Victims Unit”), Holly Hunter (“Saving Grace”) and Kyra Sedgwick (“The Closer”).

Best actor—comedy: Alec Baldwin (“30 Rock”), Steve Carell (“The Office”), Lee Pace (“Pushing Daisies”), Tony Shalhoub (“Monk”) and Charlie Sheen (“Two and a Half Men”).

Best actress—comedy: Christina Applegate (“Samantha Who?”), America Ferrera (“Ugly Betty”), Tina Fey (“30 Rock”), Julia Louis-Dreyfus (“The New Adventures of Old Christine”) and Mary-Louise Parker (“Weeds”).

And here’s the complete list of 2008 Emmy nominees.

UPDATE: More good news/bad news, this time in the category of best supporting actress in a comedy series. A long-overdue and well-deserved nod has been given to “Saturday Night Live’s” Amy Poehler, but how in the world is Jenna Fischer snubbed for her work on “The Office”? Instead, the category includes Jean Smart for “Samantha Who?” and Holland Taylor on “Two and a Half Men.” As Poehler herself on Weekend Update would say, “Really?!”

(Photo courtesy of Fox.)

If you’ve ever seen the film Lollilove – and I recommend it to Office diehards, at least – that was her one and only foray into those specialties. It’s a funny and weird little movie with her now estranged husband James Gunn. And apparently it jumpstarted her creatively but cured her of all but the acting bug.

Here’s what she had to say this week…

“I just learned from doing that film that I’m an actor,” she says. “I approach work very emotionally — like, what’s the emotion, what’s the relationship here? And that’s a part of being a director, but the director is also supposed to think about how things look, how to place things and visually paint a picture. And my brain just did not want to do it, it couldn’t paint the picture. Also, I didn’t want to think about it, because then when I had to go in and act, it made me very self-conscious. So I like having the tunnel-vision of just focusing on character and relationship and emotion. Directing hurt my brain; it’s just not big enough for it.”

“I’ll never do that again as well,” she said of writing. “It was horribly painful as well, I didn’t like it. What was great about doing the movie was how much I appreciate anybody who can conjure up something from nothing, anybody who can write or direct and tell a story visually, and any crew member, too. Directing a movie, you gain such an appreciation for what every person on the set is doing, and how things don’t happen in a vacuum, and that the actor isn’t the most important thing to the movie. They just aren’t. Sometimes you get treated like you are, but that’s just a way to baby you so that you stay calm and sedate. But you aren’t actually very important. And that’s a really good thing to know in Hollywood, to keep some perspective.”

Emmys look to be Office, Rock heavy

Both shows are among the 10 named for best comedy (along with the deserving Flight of the Conchords and Curb Your Enthusiasm). Alec Baldwin and Steve Carell, meanwhile, appear on the short list for best actor in a comedy (again, along with Curb’s Larry David and possibly FotC’s Bret McKenzie and Jemaine Clement).

On the supporting side, John Krasinski and Rainn Wilson are up against Rock’s Jack McBrayer and Tracy Morgan (Weeds’ Justin Kirk is in there too), while Jenna Fischer and Jane Krakowski represent the ladies. the obscure category of best guest actress in a comedy series pits Amy Ryan (The Office) against Elaine Stritch and Edie Falco (30 Rock).

In other 30 Rock/Office news…

...Creed’s got another blog up.

...I’m so glad this exists, if only for this…

Tracy: Doctor Spaceman, when they check my DNA, will they tell me what diseases I might get, or help me to remember my ATM pincode?
Dr. Spaceman: Absolutely. Science is whatever we want it to be. I’ll let you know as soon as we have the results.
Tracy: I already know the results, the kid is not mine!
Dr. Spaceman: Boy it’s crazy to think we used to settle questions of paternity by dunking a woman in water until she admitted she made it all up. Different time, the sixties.

...Enjoy this, because it looks cool…

www.strike.tv Teaser from StrikeTV on Vimeo.

...And enjoy this, but don’t spoil me. The Webisodes launch tomorrow, and I’m not watching until then!

And that about sums up last night’s Weeds, which was only exciting for about the last 14 seconds when Nancy and Celia were reunited. Well, technically, Celia’s face was united with the garage floor of Guillermo’s hideout while Nancy stood jaw-dropped nearby.

But that’s when things got good. And then the credits rolled.

“The Three Coolers,” followed the Kevorkianization of Bubbie with the Jewish mourning ritual. I never knew it could last that long and, without having consulted a friend or Wikipedia, I suspect it was drawn out for dramatic effect.

Lenny cynically presided over the brood. Albert Brooks is playing the grumpy gramps so well, maybe too well because I’m really getting sick of the cranky codger.

Nancy is playing hooky from her new employment for the time-being. Guillermo’s reminder, a three-foot rose cross was a nice touch: insensitive yet gauche.

Doug swung by too, on the run from the Agrestic Civic Assosciation in the aftermath of last season’s wildfires. He’s lost everything you could never believe he had, from his family to his practice. His life’s a void, he declares while redundantly tooting on a bong. (These people have more different bongs than they have pot to put in them.)

Was he coming on to Silas with that off-color question about sexual practices or is he just so weed-addled that he really forgets? He did ask where all the cheese went twice.

Lenny is on the hunt for Bubbie’s loot. Holocaust survivors like her are notoriously paranoid, he explains, ever the font of 20th century historical wisdom. She’s got a cash stash around the house, he’s sure, and sure enough he stumbles upon Nancy’s moolah in a hat box atop a cabinet, with Shane’s help naturally.

It’s amazing it took Lenny five episodes to find out what Nancy does for a living. It’s even more amazing it took that long for Shane to crack under interrogation. That kid doesn’t have a giant tell; he is a giant tell.

And seriously, was there ever any doubt Lenny would abscond with the cash. Not that I thought he’d hop a flight to Paris, but I knew he wouldn’t give it back. And he thinks Nancy’s going to bankroll him to the tune of $10,000 a month? He doesn’t know how she rolls. He also doesn’t know what happened to her last husband. I fear Lenny will be reunited with Bubbie soon enough.

In the interim, the van gets towed. Turns out you need a permit to park on Ocean. Silas is freaking because Andy’s off with Nancy, so he head down to the impound lot, where his weed is as big a hit with the guards as it was with Doug and Andy. And he’ll have to cough up a quarter pound of it if he wants the van back without police intervention.

That’s a tough turn of luck, but still, not a bad confidence booster for the young farmer. His crop has appeal.

But back to Nancy. When she finally gets back to work, Guillermo is ever the riddler. He presents her with two Playmate coolers, Matrix-style. She chooses the red over the blue, but there’s really no difference. Her assignment—should she choose to accept it, and really, what choice does she have?—is to wait by the border fence, packing heat.

That’s it. No further instructions. So she brings along Andy, and they wait. And wait.

Until Border Patrol arrives. Were they on the Mexican side of the border? Anyway, after making like amorous teenagers, Nancy and Botwin watch as the patrol guards stack giants duffels of product alongside her Prius. There’s so much she has to leave Andy behind with the cooler and the cooler.

I thought it would be a plot point when Andy marched off with some migrants, leaving the Playmate cooler behind, but it didn’t come up again. Was there anything else in it besides the empty juice box?

I thought it would be a plot point that Andy was there alone, with a gun. That didn’t come up either.

All we see is Nancy checking in with Guillermo, accepting a promotion in the form of a set of keys and Celia, busted for spying with a disposable camera outside.

It looks from the previews like Nancy saves her skin and they go into retail together, which might be as sharp a plot turn as a show known for sharp plot turns has made. Captain Till is still on Nancy’s trail, so that’s a complication, as is Lenny’s flight.

We’ll see where that all heads next week, I guess.

I guess I should say she’s the actress who played Bubbie, because after last night I’m guessing she’s looking for acting work. Still, a pretty neat little connection to what is becoming an ever more darkly humorous take on the issues of our day.

Last night’s episode, “The Whole Blah Damn Thing,”  took on euthanasia. I’m conflicted. I’m having a problem swallowing the moral lessons of a show that I’m not convinced is really trying to take a stand one way or another.

I mean, sure, there’s the overarching “pot isn’t so bad” theme, but when a soccer mom is having bricks of it crammed into her door panels — and a criminally unwelcome foreign national crammed under her back seat — I have to think a lot of the moralizing is tongue in cheek.

So that’s why I don’t know how to take it when the terminally morose Shane starts lobbying for his newfound grandma’s demise. Albert Brooks’s Lenny, not at all surprisingly, played it perfectly. It’s his mother. He doesn’t want to see his suffer, but what kind of good son pulls the plug on the woman who reared him, even if she tore down his self esteem at every turn?

And he raises the specter that mercy killing might be as much about the relief of the grieving as the relief of the dying. No doubt Andy wants to put Bubbie out of his own misery as much as her own. (His dissertation on life’s blah’s fell flat for me, personally.) Silas, ironically, is the only one to raise the idea that killing grandma might not be the right thing to do.

But then along comes Nancy — aka “Not Francy ” — game as ever. She’ll put a pillow over Bubbie’s face as easily as she’ll smuggle drugs wholesale across the border. She’s neither convinced nor concerned that it’s the right thing to do. It just seems like the thing to do. And Bubbie never liked her anyway, right?

Much like she transcended from widowed mom needing to provide for her family to drug runner, she can don any hat she likes. The audience can bounce the issues about like political beach balls all they want. She’s not so engaged.

And yet, rather than come off as frustratingly detached and unbelievable, Mary Louise Parker’s Nancy is as captivating as ever. I not only want to know what she’ll do next, but how and why.

I actually thought Bubbie was going to live to vegetate another day after Shane and Lenny’s heart-to-heart, by the way. That was actually a nice moment there.

While the Botwins were bidding one of their own adieu, Celia was finaging her way out of jail. She’s Captain Till’s rat now, and if she doesn’t bring back some high quality cheese on her old pal she’ll face a mountain of charges. Till’s a funny guy, probably the most believable of the whole bunch. If he saw Celia fumble with that disposable camera while she misses Guillermo making his payoff to Nancy, he’d probably call the deal off.

Celia was a little slicker sneaking into Dean’s hotel, finding his cell phone and discovering a text from Shane referencing Ren Mar. That, and Doug’s quick getaway, both hint toward a reunion of sorts that’s coming.

Oh and by the way, I’m catching up. Last week I mentioned I’d only seen the first season and a half. Well, I’m an episode shy of starting season three. In about two weeks at this pace, I might actually know what’s going on, like where the heck are Heylia and Conrad? And why’d Nancy burn her house down?

I know, bear with me.

My personal choices for the top 5 in each are in bold. The top 10s are:

Top 10 Comedy Series Finalists

Top 10 Drama Series Finalists

OK, so anyway, the gigantic gap in my Weeds viewing may be affecting my judgment. I’m catching up thanks to NetFlix, but so far I’ve only seen Season One and the first half of Season Two.

Maybe that explains why I’m finding this incredibly dark turn so far this season so jarring. I like it, don’t get me wrong. I could watch Mary Louise Parker act, by turns, shifty, motherly, cavalier, driven and panicked all day long.

But cross-border drug trafficking? That’s a far cry from a widow who turns to small-scale pot dealing. There could have been a block of heroin under her hybrid’s manifold for all she knew, yet her biggest concern seemed to be finding a baño at the checkpoint and keeping the creepy-funny kid in the next car from peeking.

And when Guillermo chides her for losing his inhalers and explains the importance of a dry run to Tijuana and back by pointing out those guys who flew those planes into the towers practiced beforehand, it cemented the realization that this is a very different show than what it first set out to be.

Nancy hadn’t known of Celia’s arrest, but as Doug pointed out—though not without giggling—everybody fingered Celia for the grow house and kept Nancy out of it. So as Celia rots in a federal jail, morphing into her cellmate’s special girl and sporting the grooviest prison makeover, Nancy is busy setting up a new business. Of course that entailed a border survey with Guillermo that we saw last week, one that apparently resulted in her crossing the field of view of a federal surveillance camera.

That’s a big bombshell to drop in the second episode of what we know so far is going to be a 13-episode season. I guess it’ll take a few weeks for the feds to track her down, and then they’ll have to spring the trap. Is there any chance the season isn’t spiraling toward her arrest? Chime in if you have a theory, by all means.

Back at Bubbie’s house, Silas is watering his plants in the shower. The banter between him, Nancy and Shane in that bathroom scene was classic, a good reminder of what makes this show fun to watch.  You can never put your finger on what her relationship with her kids is supposed to be. Sometimes she’s fiercely protective, but in general drug dealing and protectiveness are not typically tandem parental qualities. She more like their crazy aunt, if you ask me.

Albert Brooks as Grandpa Lenny continues to be a hoot. His retelling of his son’s great disappointment, the day Andy squandered the $100 Lenny gave him to put down on a sure thing, laid out Lenny’s true character. Who gives a kid $100 and sends him to the track on his bike? That the kid blew a $20,000 payoff is all he can focus on, not that he as a father is the bigger disappointment. And of course he blows the $300 Nancy reluctantly gave him.

But even he isn’t so easy to write off. He clearly cares for his dying mother, even if he’s basically ransacking her home as she slowly fades away. He isn’t neglecting her in the process, even if he does assign Shane the age-inappropriate task of babysitting Bubbie. Judging by the scenes from next week, the Bubbie storyline should come to a head soon.

Actually, Bubbie’s gasping Yiddish plea to kill her is hardly subtle foreshadowing.

I can’t get too caught up in that when I’m so distracted by the likelihood that the feds will be coming hard after Nancy sooner rather than later. If the writers stall on that point, it could be a distraction for me, plot-wise. Then again, it’ll probably be no more a distraction than that dress Nancy wore to Tijuana.

Wasn’t she embarrassed to have her kids see her dressed like that?

I know what you’re thinking, Kristin did all the work and all I did was embed the video here? Well, that’s not entirely true. I also prescreened it and can tell you with confidence that there is Tina Fey cuteness, a rare appearance by Katrina Bowden who plays Cerie on 30 Rock and some screen time for Weeds’s Justin Kirk, who plays Andy.

What’s more, I can tell you that if you skip to the 1:58 mark and stop watching at the 4:18 mark, you won’t have to sit through any boring Life or Brothers and Sisters stuff. (OK, now that I’ve alienated fans of those two perfectly fine shows, I should clarify that I’ve never even given either a try.)

Here’s what’s I glean from that…

• It’s not really news that there will be 13 episodes of Weeds this season, but Kirk does clarify that they just finished shooting episode number 9. Maybe it’s a result of the writers strike, but I’d have thought they’d have them all in the can before the premiere.


• Kristin confirms Liz’s adoption plan will be fodder for episodes next season.


• Judah Friedlander and Jane Krakowski make for as odd a pair as I can imagine.


• Bowden hopes to see her character’s fiance introduced soon, putting her at odds with 30 Rock’s entire male audience.

After settling her family in Ren Mar, Nancy turns her attention back to business. Later, Guillermo gives her a much-needed crash course in “running” across the border. Meanwhile, Celia gets further acquainted with life in prison. Lenny leaves Silas and Shane to care for Bubbie while he goes to the track. When Lenny returns, Andy confronts him about some family history. (Photo: Hunter Parrish, Alexander Gould and Mary-Louise Parker , by Monty Brinton/Showtime)

Turns out Weeds is addictive after all. How else to explain the Showtime record-breaking 1.3 million viewers Monday’s premier drew, according to The Hollywood Reporter.

Even new new series “Secret Diary of a Call Girl” got a bump coming out of its Weeds lead-in, pulling in 949,000 viewers. The Reporter reports…

“Weeds” averaged 1.3 million total viewers at 10 p.m. Monday, which broke the record held by a Season 2 episode of “Dexter” (1.2 million) that aired last year. An 11 p.m. repeat of “Weeds” averaged 406,000 viewers, according to Nielsen.

“Our ratings were va-va-va-voom!” Showtime president of entertainment Robert Greenblatt said. “Who said hedonism is passe?”

OoooooK.

Depending on what your feelings are, it might be a lot to put them aside and just enjoy the brilliant performances by series star Mary Louise Parker and her host of suburban partners in drug crime. It’s worth a shot, though.

Parker returned in tonight’s “Mother Thinks the Birds Are After Her” as Nancy Botwin, drug dealer to the upper middle class. Or is it lower upper class? Doesn’t much matter now, though, since exec producers Jenji Kohan and Roberto Benabib let the show’s very setting go up in flames last season.

Agrestic is no longer majestic. Instead its tract houses lie on the ash heap of history, thanks to wildfires at least in part aided by the fuel Nancy added to the fire at her own home. And she just can’t shake the smell.

On the run toward the border town of Ren Mar, she takes her family to see their great-grandma, whose electronic attack dog doesn’t keep them from her gurney-side for long. Tubed-tied and prone, great-grams in under the care of bitter son Lenny (the legendary Albert Brooks who fades into the role nicely).

The kids, Silas and Shane (Hunter Parrish and Alexander Gould) are surprisingly receptive to their uprooting, a testament to how they’ve adapted since the innocence that was Season One. And then there’s Andy (Justin Kirk). Slightly sleazy, at times sage but mostly a numbskull, he takes Nancy down memory lane as the bitterness of her mixed marriage into a Jewish family that never accepted her reemerges.

Dubbed by Lenny as “Not Francy” in reference to the Lasik specialist she stole her late husband away from, Nancy finds herself pondering childhood pictures of her beloved Judah as Andy recalls Judah showing off scantily clad photos of Nancy she’d thought had been destroyed. Andy’s train of thought is interrupted by the mental image of Lenny changing great-grams, even as Nancy’s thoughts turn to her latest grand plan.

The downfall of Agrestic won’t be the downfall of her business, far from it. She’ll be working the Mexican border supply routes, playing the role of pretty American lady she knows well.

The comedy in this premiere comes mainly from the Agrestic evacuees: the arrested Celia (Elizabeth Perkins) versus Doug (Kevin Nealon), Sanjay (30 Rock’s Maulik Pancholy), Dean (Andy Milder) and Isabelle (Allie Grant).

Celia under interrogation is a hoot. But the way her family and friends sell her out to save Nancy is even better.

Things are set up for not only a drastic change of scenery but a whole new vibe this summer season. How you feel about the substance at the center of it all might lure you in or steer you away. You’ll be right for the wrong reasons in the first case and you’ll miss a ton of fun in the latter, in my opinion.

Yes, Weeds is about weed. But there’s a lot more to laugh at, think about and tune in for than just that.

The summer season continues rolling out new shows this week, starting tomorrow, and we bring you a look at what’s new and when it’s on, for the week of June 15, again, thanks to USAToday.com, though any comments not in quotes are mine:

Monday

The Middleman, 8 p.m., ABC Family. This has some promise, I believe. In part because it’s on ABC Family, home of Kyle XY, in part because it’s based on a series of comic books and this is the official show description:

Wendy Watson (Natalie Morales) thought mindless temp jobs were tough. Then she bravely faced a creature way beyond the bounds of her reality, and in so doing, impressed the straight-laced hero known as the Middleman (Matt Keeslar). Hello, new career! Now she’s balancing her art, her friends, and saving the planet while battling alien evils for the world’s most ludicrously secret organization. “The Middleman”—fighting evil so you don’t have to.

What’s it about? Addicts are finally called on the carpet by their loved ones. Think of that scene in The Sopranos when they have an intervention for Chris-ta-fuh. Except the people aren’t as attractive, funny or menacing. Just real. And sad. And totally effed up.

Psychic Kids: Children of the Paranormal, 10 p.m., A&E. I’ve seen some commercials for this; why do I feel as if a bunch of children are being horribly taken advantage of and their parents are gonna make money out of it? Not that I’m cynical or anything.

Weeds, 10 p.m., Showtime. Don’t have Showtime, but I’ve really heard good things about this. One day I’ll rent the DVDs. Mary-Louise Parker stars as a pot dealer/suburban mom.

Secret Diary of a Call Girl, 10:30 p.m., Showtime. If this were on a broadcast network, I’d say y’all should head for the hills. But it’s not, and it’s based on a British comedy and stars Billie Piper, late of Doctor Who. Oh, and it’s based on a real call girl’s real diary.

Tuesday

America’s Got Talent, 9 p.m. NBC. Really? This is still on? And Jerry Springer’s still host? And Piers Morgan, Sharon Osbourne and David Hasselhoff are the judges? Who’s watching this?

Tori & Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood, 10 p.m., Oxygen. So now that they’ve had a rugrat, they leave the countryside and come back to … Los Angeles? Oh, that’s good parenting. And this is season 3!

Wednesday

Black Gold, 10 p.m., truTV. From the people who brought you Deadliest Catch and Ice Road Truckers, it’s West Texas oil drillers. And Matthew McConaughey’s brother, Rooster.

Thursday

Newlywed, Nearly Dead?, 9 p.m., Fine Living. First off, have you ever heard of this network? Second, this sounds like a supremely bad idea: “Couples who drive each other crazy videotape each other’s annoying habits, then head to Canadian marriage expert Gary Direnfeld.”

Penn & Teller: Bulls—-, 10 p.m., Showtime. This actually might not be crap. Our favorite comedian magicians debunk “common misconceptions on hot-button topics.”

It’s actually kind of intriguing. Variety reported today that Crash, which won the best picture Oscar in 2005, is set to become a 13-episode TV series on Starz, the movie channel. This would be the premium cable channel’s first original drama in its history.

Lionsgate (which, incidentally, has cut a deal with the Writers Guild of America and can go ahead producing scripts no matter how long the strike continues) will co-produce the series with the channel. Don Cheadle, who was one of the film’s stars, will move behind the camera to work on the series, along with Paul Haggis, who directed, produced and co-wrote the movie, and four others, including Bobby Moresco, who co-wrote the movie.

The series would focus on characters not at the heart of the movie, and it’s not clear exactly how connected to the movie it would be, from various published reports.

What is clear is that the folks responsible for the film in the first place, along with a quality production company and a network eager to put its stamp on something of quality for its first foray into original drama, are all collaborating on something that could be top-notch.

Time will tell, of course, but it’s definitely a promising move.

And with Lionsgate moving ahead with yet another new television drama (joining Weeds on Showtime and Mad Men on AMC), the more traditional networks have got to be getting nervous. The longer their original scripted series are off the air, the harder it’s going to be to get them back when the strike is over.

That means those two shows can get new scripts going and go into production whenever their little hearts desire.

They join the Weinstein Co., David Letterman’s Worldwide Pants and Marvel Entertainment (which means Captain America and other films can get back to work).

I heard the news on the radio this morning; thanks to Radar Online for the confirmation.

Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Television Movie or Miniseries
Michael Keaton / James Jesus Angleton – The Company (TNT)
Kevin Kline / Jacques – As You Like It (HBO)
Oliver Platt / George Steinbrenner – The Bronx is Burning (ESPN)
Sam Shepard / Frank Whiteley – Ruffian (ABC)
John Turturro / Billy Martin – The Bronx is Burning (ESPN)

Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Television Movie or Miniseries
Ellen Burstyn / Posey Benetto – Mitch Albom’s For One More Day (ABC)
Debra Messing / Molly Kagan – The Starter Wife (USA)
Anna Paquin / Elaine Goodale – Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee (HBO)
Queen Latifah / Ana – Life Support (HBO)
Vanessa Redgrave / Woman – The Fever (HBO)
Gena Rowlands / Melissa Eisenbloom – What If God Were the Sun? (Lifetime)

Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Drama Series
James Gandolfini / Tony Soprano – The Sopranos (HBO)
Michael C. Hall / Dexter Morgan – Dexter (Showtime) (my pick)
Jon Hamm / Don Draper – Mad Men (AMC)
Hugh Laurie / Dr. Gregory House – House (FOX)
James Spader / Alan Shore – Boston Legal (ABC)

Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Drama Series
Glenn Close / Patty Hewes – Damages (FX) (my pick)
Edie Falco / Carmela Soprano – The Sopranos (HBO)
Sally Field / Nora Walker – Brothers & Sisters (ABC)
Holly Hunter / Grace Hanadarko – Saving Grace (TNT)
Kyra Sedgwick / Deputy Police Chief Brenda Johnson – The Closer (TNT)

Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Comedy Series
Alec Baldwin / Jack Donaghy – 30 Rock (NBC) (my pick, though Carell is a close second!)
Steve Carell / Michael Scott – The Office (NBC)
Ricky Gervais / Andy Millman – Extras (HBO)
Jeremy Piven / Ari Gold – Entourage (HBO)
Tony Shalhoub / Adrian Monk – Monk (USA)

Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Comedy Series
Christina Applegate / Samantha Newly – Samantha Who? (ABC)
America Ferrera / Betty Suarez – Ugly Betty (ABC)
Tina Fey / Liz Lemon – 30 Rock (NBC) (my pick)
Mary-Louise Parker / Nancy Botwin – Weeds (Showtime)
Vanessa Williams / Wilhelmina Slater – Ugly Betty (ABC)

Outstanding Performance by an Ensemble in a Drama Series
Boston Legal (ABC)
The Closer (TNT)
Grey’s Anatomy (ABC)
Mad Men (AMC) (my pick)
The Sopranos (HBO)

Outstanding Performance by an Ensemble in a Comedy Series
30 Rock (NBC)
Desperate Housewives (ABC)
Entourage (HBO)
The Office (NBC) (my pick – close, but as an ensemble, The Office slightly edges out 30 Rock)
Ugly Betty (ABC)

Outstanding Performance by a Stunt Ensemble in a Television Series
24 (FOX) (my pick – c’mon, what’d you think I’d choose?)
Heroes (NBC)
Lost (ABC)
Rome (HBO)
The Unit (CBS)

Screen Actors Guild Awards 44th Annual Life Achievement Award
Charles Durning (He’s done so much on TV as well as movies, so I figured I’d include him here. Most recently on the small screen, he’s been playing Tommy’s dad (that’s even how he’s credited!) on Rescue Me. By the by, did you know he was born in Highland Falls, just outside the LoHud, by West Point?)

Here’s a look at the (television only) nominees, with my picks noted (as well as what I think will actually win):

Best TV drama:
Big Love (my pick — this season was outstanding!)
Damages
Grey’s Anatomy
House
Mad Men (what I think will win)
The Tudors

Best TV comedy or musical:
30 Rock (my pick)
Californication
Entourage
Extras
Pushing Daisies (will win)

Best actress in a TV drama:
Patricia Arquette, Medium
Glenn Close, Damages (my pick/will win)
Minnie Driver, The Riches
Edie Falco, The Sopranos
Sally Field, Brothers & Sisters
Holly Hunter, Saving Grace
Kyra Sedgwick, The Closer

Best actor in a TV drama:
Michael C. Hall, Dexter (will win)
Hugh Laurie, House
Bill Paxton, Big Love (my pick)
Jon Hamm, Mad Men
Jonathan Rhys Meyers, The Tudors

Best actor in a TV comedy:
Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock (my pick)
Steve Carell, The Office (will win)
David Duchovny, Californication
Ricky Gervais, Extras
Lee Pace, Pushing Daisies

Best actress in a TV comedy:
Christina Applegate, Samantha Who?
America Ferrera, Ugly Betty
Tina Fey, 30 Rock (my pick)
Anna Friel, Pushing Daisies (will win)
Mary-Louise Parker, Weeds

Best supporting actress/TV:
Rose Byrne, Damages (my pick/will win)
Rachel Griffith, Brothers & Sisters
Katherine Heigl, Grey’s Anatomy
Samantha Morton, Longford
Anna Paquin, Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee
Jamie Pressly, My Name Is Earl

Best supporting actor/TV:
Ted Danson, Damages
Kevin Dillon, Entourage (my pick)
Jeremy Piven, Entourage
Andy Serkis, Longford
William Shatner, Boston Legal
Donald Sutherland, Dirty Sexy Money (will win)

Best TV miniseries or movie:
Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee
The Company
5 Days
The State Within
Longford
(no selection, as I saw none of these)

Best actress in a TV miniseries or movie:
Bryce Dallas Howard, As You Like It
Queen Latifah, Life Support
Debra Messing, The Starter Wife
Sissy Spacek, Pictures of Hollis Woods
Ruth Wilson, Jane Eyre
(no selection, as I only saw The Starter Wife and, as enjoyable as it was, I find it hard to believe it was the best performance out of these)

Best actor in a TV miniseries or movie:
Adam Beach, Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee
Jim Broadbent, Longford
Ernest Borgnine, A Grandpa for Christmas
Jason Isaacs, The State Within
James Nesbitt, Jekyll
(no selection, as I saw none of these)

Meanwhile, what if they held an awards show and no one came?

The Golden Globes awards show is scheduled for Jan. 13 on NBC. Variety reported this week that the show requested a waiver from the Writer’s Guild of America for the telecast, but that was unlikely to be granted. And during the strike in 1980, Powers Boothe was the only winner who showed up to the Emmy Awards (he got one for his role in Guyana Tragedy: The Story of Jim Jones.)

Stay tuned.

And coming later this morning: The Writer’s Guild of America’s own television nominees.

EMBARQ (I’ve never even heard of this company!) surveyed 1,000 Americans who they’d want to call up and invite to join them around the dinner table this holiday season, on their cell phones of course. In return, EMBARQ is giving its customers (current as well as new) unlimited minutes throughout the entire month.

So, 11 percent of the respondents, when offered the following fake characters, chose Jack Bauer, our tortured (and torturing) hero (anti-hero?) of 24 over the following: Susan Mayer of Desperate Housewives, Larry David of Curb Your Enthusiasm, Stewie Griffin of Family Guy, Claire Bennet of Heroes, Michael Scott of The Office and Nancy Botwin of Weeds.

A little unclear, however, was where McDreamy, Dr. Derek Shepherd of Grey’s Anatomy fell in — 20 percent of female respondents chose him, but EMBARQ didn’t note where Shepherd fell in the overall lineup.

But this is my question: What happens when Jack is sitting at your dinner table and your kid brother covertly takes out one of those laser pointer thingys and starts pointing it at the turkey, the mashed potatoes, the Christmas tree?

Jack freakin’ wrecks your house, that’s what. He gets your kid brother in a headlock, shoots him in the knee and demands, “WHO ARE YOU WORKING FOR? TELL ME WHAT YOU KNOW!”

Before everything is straightened out, you have a crippled brother, a wrecked dinner and possibly a house blown up.

But, I guess, you would have a heckuva holiday story to share with your friends.

Here’s a link to the official list of all the nominees and past nominees and winners, too). Variety also reported that Mad Men won a special achievement award for best ensemble cast, but I couldn’t find that on the official list.

Miniseries:
Jane Eyre, BBC/WGBH
The Starter Wife, USA Network
The Company, TNT
Five Days, HBO
The Amazing Mrs. Pritchard, BBC/Kudos Productions

Motion picture made for television (otherwise known as the made-for-TV movie, or, now, MPMFT):
The Wind And The Willows, Masterpiece Theater, PBS/BBC
Mitch Albom’s For One More Day, ABC
Longford, HBO/Channel 4
Life Support, HBO
The Trial Of Tony Blair, Channel 4
Bury My Heart At Wounded Knee, HBO

Actress in a miniseries or MPMFT:
Ruth Wilson, Jane Eyre
Ellen Burstyn, Mitch Albom’s For One More Day
Samantha Morton, Longford
Queen Latifah, Life Support
Debra Messing, The Starter Wife
Sharon Small, Inspector Lynley Mysteries, PBS/BBC

Actor in a miniseries or MPMFT:
Toby Stephens, Jane Eyre
Jim Broadbent, Longford
Robert Lindsay, The Trial Of Tony Blair
Aidan Quinn, Bury My Heart At Wounded Knee
David Oyelowo, Five Days, HBO
Tom Selleck, Jesse Stone: Sea Change, CBS

Supporting actress in a series, miniseries or MPMFT:
Vanessa Williams, Ugly Betty, ABC
Judy Davis, The Starter Wife
Chandra Wilson, Grey’s Anatomy, ABC
Jamie Pressly, My Name Is Earl, NBC
Polly Bergen, Desperate Housewives, ABC
Rachel Griffiths, Brothers & Sisters, ABC

Supporting actor in a series, miniseries or MPMFT:
Andy Serkis, Longford
Michael Emerson, Lost, ABC
Masi Oka, Heroes, NBC
Justin Kirk, Weeds, Showtime
T.R. Knight, Grey’s Anatomy
Harry Dean Stanton, Big Love, HBO
G. David Zayas, Dexter, Showtime

Television series, drama:
The Riches, FX
Dexter, Showtime
Mad Men, AMC
Friday Night Lights, NBC
Grey’s Anatomy
Brothers & Sisters

Actress in a series, drama:
Minnie Driver, The Riches, FX
Kyra Sedgwick, The Closer, TNT
Ellen Pompeo, Grey’s Anatomy
Sally Field, Brothers & Sisters
Jeanne Tripplehorn, Big Love
Glenn Close, Damages, FX

Actor in a series, drama:
Eddie Izzard, The Riches
Michael C. Hall, Dexter
James Woods, Shark, NBC
Hugh Laurie, House, Fox
Bill Paxton, Big Love
Denis Leary, Rescue Me, FX

Television series, comedy or musical:
Ugly Betty
The Flight of the Conchords, HBO
Extras, HBO
Chuck, NBC
Weeds
Pushing Daisies, ABC

Actress in a series, comedy or musical:
America Ferrera, Ugly Betty
Tina Fey, 30 Rock, NBC
Julia Louis-Dreyfus, The New Adventures Of Old Christine, CBS
Felicity Huffman, Desperate Housewives, ABC
Anna Friel, Pushing Daisies
Patricia Heaton, Back to You, Fox

Actor in a series, comedy or musical:
Lee Pace, Pushing Daisies
Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock
Steve Carell, The Office, NBC
Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report, Comedy Central
Ricky Gervais, Extras, HBO
Zachary Levi, Chuck

DVD release of a TV show:
The Office, Season 3 (Universal)
Twin Peaks, Season 2 (Paramount Home Video)
Rome, Season 2 (HBO Home Video)
Ugly Betty, Season 1 (Buena Vista Home Entertainment)
Nip/Tuck, Season 4 (Warner Home Video)
Daniel Deronda (BBC/Warner)
Muppet Show, Season 2 (Walt Disney)
Lost: The Complete Third Season (Buena Vista Home Entertainment)
House Of Elliot, Complete Collection (Acorn Media)
Dexter, Season 1 (Showtime Entertainment/Paramount)

Well, leave that to the staff of Remote Access. We spent hours (read: minutes) poring over every show (read: title of every show) in every category (read: major categories), trying not only to predict Emmy winners, but also the Emmys winners we want to see. Again, we might not have seen every show, but we’re using our best judgment at all times. Brief commentary from some of the Remote Access staffers, whom I call Accessories, is in parentheses.

Play along and post your opinions in the comments section. And check back in Sunday night to keep up with my live-blog of the Emmy telecast!

Drama Series: “Boston Legal,” ABC; “Grey’s Anatomy,” ABC; “Heroes,” NBC; “House,” Fox; “The Sopranos,” HBO.

•Amy is predicting “The Sopranos” but is rooting for “Heroes.â€?
•Brian is predicting “The Sopranos” and is rooting for “The Sopranos.”
•Chris is predicting “The Sopranos” and is rooting for “The Sopranos.”
•Georgette is predicting “The Sopranos” but is rooting for “House.”
•Heather is predicting “The Sopranos” and is rooting for “The Sopranos.”
•Jenny is predicting “The Sopranos” but is rooting for “House.”

Comedy Series: “Entourage,” HBO; “The Office,” NBC; “30 Rock, NBC; “Two and a Half Men,” CBS; “Ugly Betty,” ABC.

•Amy is predicting “Ugly Betty” but is rooting for “30 Rock/The Office.” (“Sue me, this is a tough one.”)
•Brian is predicting “Ugly Betty” but is rooting for “The Office.”
•Chris is predicting “Ugly Betty” but is rooting for “30 Rock.” (“I love ‘The Office’ equally, but ‘30 Rock’ needs the Emmy more to survive.”)
•Georgette is predicting “30 Rock” and is rooting for “30 Rock.” (“And ‘Two and a Half Men.’”)
•Heather is predicting “Ugly Betty” but is rooting for “The Office.”
•Jenny is predicting “The Office” but is rooting for “Entourage.”

Miniseries: “Broken Trail,” AMC; “Prime Suspect: The Final Act (Masterpiece Theatre), PBS; “The Starter Wife,” USA.

•Amy is predicting “Broken Trail” but is rooting for “The Starter Wife.” (“I make no apologies.”)
•Brian is predicting “The Starter Wife” and is rooting for “The Starter Wife.”
•Chris is predicting “Broken Trail” and is rooting for “Broken Trail.”
•Georgette is predicting “Prime Suspect: The Final Act” and is rooting for “Prime Suspect: The Final Act.”
•Heather is predicting “Prime Suspect: The Final Act” and is rooting for “Prime Suspect: The Final Act.”
•Jenny is predicting “Prime Suspect: The Final Act” and is rooting for “Prime Suspect: The Final Act.”

Made-for-TV Movie: “Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee,” HBO; “Inside the Twin Towers,” Discovery Channel; “Longford,” HBO; “The Ron Clark Story,” TNT; “Why I Wore Lipstick to My Mastectomy,” Lifetime.

•Amy is predicting “Inside the Twin Towers” and is abstaining from a rooting interest. (“Didn’t see any of ’em.”)
•Brian is predicting “Inside the Twin Towers” and is rooting for “Inside the Twin Towers.”
•Chris is predicting “Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee” but is rooting for “Inside the Twin Towers.”
•Georgette is predicting “Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee” and is rooting for “Inside the Twin Towers.”
•Heather is predicting “Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee” but is rooting for “Inside the Twin Towers.”
•Jenny is predicting “Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee” and is rooting for “Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee.”

Actor, Drama Series: James Spader, “Boston Legal,” ABC; Hugh Laurie, “House,” Fox; Denis Leary, “Rescue Me,” FX; James Gandolfini, “The Sopranos,” HBO; Kiefer Sutherland, “24,” Fox.

•Amy is predicting James Gandolfini but is rooting for Kiefer Sutherland. (“Duh!”)
•Brian is predicting James Gandolfini and is rooting for James Gandolfini.
•Chris is predicting James Gandolfini and is rooting for James Gandolfini.
•Georgette is predicting Hugh Laurie and is rooting for Hugh Laurie.
•Heather is predicting James Gandolfini and is rooting for James Gandolfini.
•Jenny is predicting James Gandolfini but is rooting for Denis Leary.

Actress, Drama Series: Sally Field, “Brothers & Sisters,” ABC; Kyra Sedgwick, “The Closer,” TNT; Mariska Hargitay, “Law & Order: Special Victims Unit,” NBC; Patricia Arquette, “Medium,” NBC; Minnie Driver, “The Riches,” FX; “Edie Falco, “The Sopranos,” HBO.

•Amy is predicting Edie Falco but is rooting for Sally Field.
•Brian is predicting Edie Falco and is rooting for Edie Falco.
•Chris is predicting Edie Falco and is rooting for Edie Falco.
•Georgette is predicting Edie Falco but is rooting for Mariska Hargitay.
•Heather is predicting Kyra Sedgwick but is rooting for Sally Field.
•Jenny is predicting Edie Falco but is rooting for Kyra Sedgwick.

Supporting Actor, Drama Series: William Shatner, “Boston Legal,” ABC; T.R. Knight, “Grey’s Anatomy,” ABC; Masi Oka, “Heroes,” NBC; Michael Emerson, “Lost,” ABC; Terry O’Quinn, “Lost,” ABC; Michael Imperioli, “The Sopranos,” HBO.

•Amy is predicting Michael Imperioli but is rooting for Masi Oka (“Though I’d be quite happy with Michael Emerson.”)
•Brian is predicting Michael Imperioli but is rooting for Masi Oka.
•Chris is predicting Michael Imperioli and is rooting for Michael Imperioli.
•Georgette is predicting Michael Imperioli but is rooting for William Shatner.
•Heather is predicting Michael Imperioli but is rooting for Michael Emerson.
•Jenny is predicting T.R. Knight but is rooting for Terry O’Quinn.

Supporting Actress, Drama Series: Rachel Griffiths, “Brothers & Sisters,” ABC; Katherine Heigl, “Grey’s Anatomy,” ABC; Chandra Wilson, “Grey’s Anatomy,” ABC; Sandra Oh, “Grey’s Anatomy,” ABC; Aida Turturro, “The Sopranos,” HBO; Lorraine Bracco, “The Sopranos,” HBO.

•Amy is predicting Aida Tuturro and is rooting for Aida Tuturro.
•Brian is predicting Lorraine Bracco but is rooting for Chandra Wilson.
•Chris is predicting Lorraine Bracco but is rooting for Chandra Wilson.
•Georgette is predicting Rachel Griffiths and is rooting for Rachel Griffiths.
•Heather is predicting Rachel Griffiths but is rooting for Chandra Wilson.
•Jenny is predicting Lorraine Bracco but is rooting for Sandra Oh.

Actor, Comedy Series: Tony Shalhoub, “Monk,” USA; Steve Carell, “The Office,” NBC; Alec Baldwin, “30 Rock,” NBC; Charlie Sheen, “Two and a Half Men,” CBS.

•Amy is predicting Steve Carell but is rooting for Alec Baldwin.
•Brian is predicting Steve Carell and is rooting for Steve Carell.
•Chris is predicting Alec Baldwin but is rooting for “Stelec Caraldwin.” (“Just no more Shaloub, please.”)
•Georgette abstained.
•Heather is predicting Alec Baldwin and is rooting for Alec Baldwin.
•Jenny is predicting Steve Carell but is rooting for Alec Baldwin.

Actress, Comedy Series: Felicity Huffman, “Desperate Housewives,” ABC; Julia Louis-Dreyfus, “The New Adventures of Old Christine,” CBS; Tiny Fey, “30 Rock,” NBC; America Ferrera, “Ugly Betty,” ABC; Mary-Louise Parker, “Weeds,” Showtime.

•Amy is predicting America Ferrera but is rooting for Tina Fey.
•Brian is predicting America Ferrera but is rooting for Tina Fey.
•Chris is predicting America Ferrera but is rooting for Tina Fey.
•Georgette abstained.
•Heather is predicting America Ferrera and is rooting for America Ferrera.
•Jenny is predicting Mary-Louise Parker but is rooting for America Ferrera.

Supporting Actor, Comedy Series: Kevin Dillon, “Entourage,” HBO; Jeremy Piven, “Entourage,” HBO; Neil Patrick Harris, “How I Met Your Mother,” CBS; Rainn Wilson, “The Office,” CBS; Jon Cryer, “Two and a Half Men,” CBS.

•Amy is predicting Rainn Wilson but is rooting for Kevin Dillon. “Though I’d be happy with Rainn, Johnny Drama so deserves the win.”
•Brian is predicting Jeremy Piven but is rooting for Rainn Wilson.
•Chris is predicting Rainn Wilson and is rooting for Rainn Wilson. (“NPH rocks, though.”)
•Georgette abstained.
•Heather is predicting Rainn Wilson but is rooting for Neil Patrick Harris.
•Jenny is predicting Jeremy Piven and is rooting for Jeremy Piven.

Supporting Actress, Comedy Series: Jaime Pressly, “My Name Is Earl,” NBC; Jenna Fischer, “The Office,” NBC; Holland Taylor, “Two and a Half Men,” CBS; Conchata Ferrell, “Two and a Half Men,” CBS; Vanessa Williams, “Ugly Betty,” ABC; Elizabeth Perkins, “Weeds,” Showtime.

•Amy is predicting Vanessa Williams but is rooting for Jenna Fischer.
•Brian is predicting Jenna Fischer and is rooting for Jenna Fischer.
•Chris is predicting Vanessa Williams but is rooting for Jenna Fischer.
•Georgette abstained.
•Heather is predicting Jenna Fischer but is rooting for Vanessa Williams.
•Jenny is predicting Jaime Pressly and is rooting for Jaime Pressly.

Actor, Miniseries or a Movie: Robert Duvall, “Broken Trail,” AMC; Tom Selleck, “Jesse Stone: Sea Change,” CBS; Jim Broadbent, “Longford,” HBO; “William H. Macy, “Nightmares & Dreamscapes: From the Stories of Stephen King Umney’s Last Case,” TNT; Matthew Perry, “The Ron Clark Story,” TNT.

•Amy is predicting Robert Duvall but is rooting for William H. Macy. (“The only one I saw, but [Macy] was superb.”)
•Brian is predicting Robert Duvall and is rooting for Robert Duvall.
•Chris is predicting William H. Macy and is rooting for William H. Macy.
•Georgette abstained.
•Heather is predicting Robert Duvall but is rooting for William H. Macy.
•Jenny is predicting Matthew Perry and is rooting for Matthew Perry.

Actress, Miniseries or a Movie: Queen Latifah, “Life Support,” HBO; Helen Mirren, “Prime Suspect: The Final Act (Masterpiece Theatre),” PBS; Mary-Louise Parker, “The Robber Bride,” Oxygen; Debra Messing, “The Starter Wife,” USA; Gena Rowlands, “What if God Were the Sun,” Lifetime.

•Amy is predicting Helen Mirren but abstained from declaring a rooting interest. (“Beats me.”)
•Brian is predicting Helen Mirren but is rooting for Queen Latifah.
•Chris is predicting Queen Latifah and is rooting for Queen Latifah.
•Georgette abstained.
•Heather is predicting Helen Mirren and is rooting for Helen Mirren.
•Jenny is predicting Helen Mirren and is rooting for Helen Mirren.

Supporting Actor, Miniseries or a Movie: Thomas Haden Church, “Broken Trail,” AMC; August Schellenberg, “Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee,” HBO; “Aidan Quinn, “Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee,” HBO; Edward Asner, “The Christmas Card,” Hallmark; Joe Mantegna, “The Starter Wife,” USA.

•Amy is predicting Aidan Quinn or Ed Asner but is rooting for Joe Mantegna.
•Brian is predicting Joe Mantegna and is rooting for Joe Mantegna.
•Chris is predicting Thomas Haden Church but is rooting for Aidan Quinn.
•Georgette abstained.
•Heather is predicting Thomas Haden Church and is rooting for Thomas Haden Church.
•Jenny is predicting Thomas Haden Church but is rooting for Joe Mantegna.

Supporting Actress, Miniseries or a Movie: Greta Scacchi, “Broken Trail,” AMC; Anna Paquin, “Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee,” HBO; Samantha Morton, “Longford,” HBO; Judy Davis, “The Starter Wife,” USA; Toni Collette, “Tsunami, The Aftermath,” HBO.

•Amy is predicting Anna Paquin but is rooting for Judy Davis.
•Brian is predicting Toni Collette but is rooting for Anna Paquin.
•Chris is predicting Anna Paquin and is rooting for Anna Paquin.
•Georgette abstained.
•Heather is predicting Anna Paquin but is rooting for Toni Collette.
•Jenny is predicting Toni Collette and is rooting for Toni Collette.

Reality Show, Competition: “The Amazing Race,” CBS; “American Idol,” FOX; “Dancing with the Stars,” ABC; “Project Runway,” Bravo; “Top Chef,” Bravo.

•Amy is predicting “The Amazing Race” but is rooting for “Top Chef.” (“Though I’ve never seen a single episode of any of these shows!”)
•Brian is predicting “Project Runway” (“Because I hear it’s great”) but is rooting for “Top Chef” (“Because I’m hungry.”)
•Chris is predicting “American Idol” but is rooting for “Project Runway.” (“But only if Tim Gunn gives the acceptance speech!”)
•Georgette is predicting “American Idol” but is rooting for “Project Runway.”
•Heather is predicting “The Amazing Race” and is rooting for “Dancing with the Stars.”
•Jenny is predicting “American Idol” and is rooting for “American Idol.”

(Photo courtesy of Fox.)

All Things Bridal, WE, Aug. 12
American Princess, WE, Aug. 19
Anchorwoman, Fox, Aug. 21
Californication, Showtime, Aug. 13
The Company, TNT, Aug. 5
Fallen, ABC Family, Aug. 3
Fat March, ABC, Aug. 6
Flash Gordon, SciFi, Aug. 10
The Girls Next Door, E!, Aug. 12
Hard Knocks, HBO, Aug. 8
The Hills, MTV, Aug. 13
i-Caught, ABC, Aug. 7
Jekyll, BBC America, Aug. 4
The Knights of Prosperity, ABC, Aug. 8
Laguna Beach, MTV, Aug. 15
Masters of Science Fiction, ABC, Aug. 4
Mission Manband, VH1, Aug. 6
Monday Night Football, ESPN, Aug. 13
NASCAR In Primetime, ABC, Aug. 15
The Nine, ABC, Aug. 1
The Power of 10, CBS, Aug. 7
Real Time With Bill Maher, HBO, Aug. 24
The Real World Sydney, MTV, Aug. 1
The Rock Life, VH1, Aug. 6
She’s Moving In, WE, Aug. 4
Slacker Cats, ABC Family, Aug. 13
Solitary, Fox Reality, Aug. 11
Tori & Dean: Inn Love, Oxygen, Aug. 14
Weeds, Showtime, Aug. 13

(The movie-acting nominees mirror the Oscar ballot exactly, btw.)

This show sometimes flies below the radar and I don’t want you to miss a chance to argue about yet another set of honors. Here, then, is the TV ballot:

COMEDY ENSEMBLE:
Desperate Housewives
Entourage
The Office
Ugly Betty
Weeds

DRAMA ENSEMBLE:
24
Boston Legal
Deadwood
Grey’s Anatomy
The Sopranos

FEMALE ACTOR/COMEDY:
America Ferrera
Felicity Huffman
Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Megan Mullally
Mary-Louise Parker
Jaime Pressly

MALE ACTOR/COMEDY:
Alec Baldwin
Steve Carell
Jason Lee
Jeremy Piven
Tony Shalhoub

FEMALE ACTOR/DRAMA:
Patricia Arquette
Edie Falco
Mariska Hargitay
Kyra Sedgwick
Chandra Wilson

MALE ACTOR/DRAMA:
James Gandolfini
Michael C. Hall
Hugh Laurie
James Spader
Kiefer Sutherland

FEMALE ACTOR, MOVIE OR MINISERIES:
Annette Bening, “Mrs. Harris”
Shirley Jones, “Hidden Places”
Cloris Leachman, “Mrs. Harris”
Helen Mirren, “Elizabeth I”
Greta Scacchi, “Broken Trail:

MALE ACTOR, MOVIE OR MINISERIES
Thomas Haden Church, “Broken Trail”
Robert Duvall, “Broken Trail”
Jeremy Irons, “Elizabeth I”
William H. Macy “Nightmares & Dreamscapes”
Matthew Perry, “The Ron Clark Story”

My picks: Entourage, Grey’s Anatomy, Parker, Carell, Wilson, Laurie, Mirren, Irons—just to see what he wears. But I could be wrong.