Bonjour, boys and girls! Say hello again to the much-missed “Gossip Girl,” which kicked off its latest round of new episodes last night with the senior class play.
The kids put on a show, all right, both onstage and off: Edith Wharton’s “The Age of Innocence” never quite seemed like high school to me, but as New York Times theater critic Charles Isherwood noted, the parallels were “genius.” (What, Ben Brantley was busy?)
So let’s give the cast credits, shall we? We had Blair and Serena as Countess Olenski and Mae Welland, respectively, with Dan and Nate playing Newland Archer and Julius Beaufort.
What that translated to offstage was Blair being ostracized by Yale, since the dean got wind of B’s hazing of Miss Carr via an anonymous source.
And this time, it’s final: Nelly Yuki – hysterical in a fat suit as Mrs. Mingott – snagged the school’s lone early acceptance slot.
When B. accuses poor Nelly of tipping off the dean to steal the opening, Nelly denied it. Then she finally tells the former Queen B. off:
“People aren’t jealous of you. They hate you.”
Ouch. Pretty harsh, even if B. did deserve it. She doesn’t even have BFF Serena on her side, not after Gossip Girl sent out a blast announcing that S. would have been accepted at Yale, too, if she’d agreed to let them put out a press release. S. suspects Blair did it.
So who could the snitch be?
Blair thinks Dan Humphrey. But Dan is too busy making goo-goo eyes at Miss Carr again, even though they agreed to stay away from each other.
But, alas, Mary Kay Letourneau 2.0 can’t keep her hands off Dan.